DIS: Well...Umm...Yeah, just read and enjoy, I guess...

X

Chapter Three, What comes around goes around

This CANNOT be happening to me, Kaiba thought as he was thrown into a padded room, handcuffed to Yami.

"Hahahaha! I knew you were meant to be in the psych ward after all, Yami!" Devil Bakura cackled, an evil glint in his eyes.

"I hate you Bakura," Yami muttered. Kaiba shot him a dirty look.

"Stop talking to yourself and stop obsessing over the Tomb Robber!" Kaiba growled under his breath. The Pharaoh turned to him with a crazed expression on his tan features. Apparently, he was feeling murderous – and towards Kaiba. "What? Are you going to attack me, porcupine head?"

"...Kick his ass!"

...Violence is never the answer, Angel Ryou told Yami and his darker counterpart.

"I'm gonna shove that harp up your pansy pass, Ryou," Bakura snarled.

"SHUT UP! GET OUT OF MY HEEEADDD!" Yami threw himself on the ground, which caused Kaiba to land on top of him. "...Umm...Listen, Kaiba, you might be that way, but – "

"Shut the hell up. You may have forgotten, but we're handcuffed, so you jerked me on you." Kaiba sat up, jerking his arm so that Yami was thrown to the other side. Kaiba smirked. This is gonna be fun.

You know I'd help you...Ryou began, clearing his throat, but I prefer to stay away from Kaiba.

"I wouldn't help him...Especially if Kaiba's in one of his, you know, 'moods.'"

Oh, so true!

"Kaiba, stop it!" Yami roared as he was thrown side to side. Kaiba's like Bam-Bam from the Flintstones right now!

Yami's Image

Kaiba laughed maniacally, "BAM, BAM! BAM, BAM! Yami go BAM, BAM!"

What's Really Happening

Kaiba flung his arm from side to side, snickering and smirking in amusement. He had to admit that this was a rather good sense of entertainment. It's a surprise they didn't put us in straight jackets.

X

The guards took a drink of Bud Light and sighed. One of the guards glanced in the window on the door and raised his eyebrows, seeing one of the crazies flinging the other back and forth. "Huh...D'ya think we shoulda umm...I dunno...put straight jackets on 'em?"

The other guard eyed his beer thoughtfully, before saying, "Nah. They'll be fine."

"Okay," the first guard said, shrugging. Less work for us.

X

At night, Kaiba's arm finally became tired and Yami was bruised enough – even though he had been hitting pads – so the two were leaning against one of the walls, irritated and exhausted.

"You know...you could always try to persuade those drunk bastards outside the door to let you out."

"They're drunk?" Kaiba rolled his eyes at his muttering. They're drunk?

"Idiot. Why didn't you think of replying with your thoughts before? It certainly would have saved you the trouble. Moronic fool."

The author was too lazy to, it's not my problem, Yami grumbled.

She gonna get you for that, Ryou informed Yami.

Yeah...Probably. So anyway, the guys outside the door are drunk? "Yes, but their shift ends, so you better HURRY UP, IDIOT!"

Touchy, touchy, Yami thought, standing up. Kaiba glowered, but stood up as well.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Umm...I can't see through the window."

"That's the door, you idiot," Kaiba snapped. "You're too short."

"Well, knock on the door and ask if they'll let us out."

"Oh, sure – "

"Kaiba...Just do it."

Sighing, Kaiba knocked on the door. The two drunken guards turned to him, blinking blearily. "Let us out."

"Umm...Why?" One of the guards asked in a drunken voice.

Kaiba, realizing they were drunk, said, "Because you accidentally put us in here."

"Oh, really?" The other guard looked shocked. "Oops! Okay..." The guard opened the door and grinned. "Let me get that for ya." The guard picked the lock to the handcuffs and both males rubbed their wrists. "Have a nice day." The guard slapped Yami's butt, making the Pharaoh's eyes shoot wide. The guard winked at him, blowing a kiss to him. Kaiba snickered.

"Better satisfy his needs, Yami," the CEO said mockingly.

"(OO) NO!"

X

Ahh...Home. And no Bakura's or Ryou's in my head, Yami thought as he laid in bed.

"You wish, Faggot Master," Devil Bakura sneered. Yami sighed and covered his face with his pillow.

I hate my life.

X

Morning came and Yami yawned, hearing something in the bathroom. Rubbing his face, he moved to the bathroom and opened it, half-awake. His eyes shot open and he let out a shriek that could rival any woman's. He slammed the door shut and hurried away, his heart thudding in his heart. NOO! MY PRECIOUS EYESIGHT! I can imagine it now...

Yami's Image

Ten years after what Yami called THE INCIDENT, he returned to the Kame Game Shop, dark glasses on and groping the ground in front of him with a cane. Yuugi gasped, seeing his yami. "Yami, you're home! But wait..." He gasped again. "Oh, Yami, you're blind!" Yuugi started crying, mascara running down his cheeks. "Why did such a fate befall you?"

"It was..." Yami whispered slowly. "It was because...Of THE INCIDENT."

(Pause)

"Ohhh, it's my fault, Yami! THE INCIDENT was my fault and look at what has happened to you!" Yuugi cried more, sniffing. He blew his nose and paused. "Oh, that's where my penny went."

"(-.-)...Ahem."

"Sorry, but I have to add this to my penny collection." Yuugi hurried out of the room, turning the light off.

"(o.o) Yuugi...? YUUGI, NOO!"

End Yami's Image

Yami stumbled down the stairs and hurried into the kitchen. "Grandpa! Grandpa! – Grandpa?" Yami looked at all the old people and they stared at him. "Grandpa?" He turned to an old man, who shook his head. "Grandpa?" Yami went through all the old men, before hesitantly going to two old women. "...Grandpa?"

"Do we look like men, sonny?" One of them snapped, waving her cane at him. Grandpa Mutou came in holding cards, smiling at Yami.

"Hello, Yami. Something you need?"

"...Grandpa, I have some bad news to tell you."

"So do I, Yami."

"I'll go first..." Yami laid a hand on Grandpa's shoulder. "Yuugi is gay." Grandpa laid a hand on Yami's hip.

"I like young men."

"(O.O'')...Grandpa, your hand is going, um, to the left...And going lower."

"Just enjoy the fun, Yami, just enjoy the fun." Yami jerked away from him, eyes wide.

"I, uh...I gotta go..."

(Two hours later)

Yuugi and Jou came down the stairs, smiling. "Do you know where Yami is, Grandpa? I think he might have witnessed something between me and my lover," Yuugi said.

"Oh...Yeah...I dunno."

"(-.-) Right. Okay, Grandpa."

X

"Thanks for letting me stay here, Isis," Yami said to the Egyptian woman as she filled his cup with more lemonade. "I don't want to be a bother."

"Oh, you won't, my Pharaoh," Isis assured him with a bright smile. "Though if you hear me 'raping' Marik or Malik, then ignore it. I'm just scaring the fools." She sighed.

"(oO) What do you do to them?"

"(smile) I shove a dildo up their assholes."

"(OO) I...see."

"I bought it especially for that purpose." She giggled. "They won't dare cross me again."

"(o.o) Yes...I really should be going now. I don't think I'll need to stay here after all."

"Oh, well...If you ever do need a place to stay, you can always come here! Bye, Yami!"

"Yeah...Bye..." There is no one normal in this world.

X

"Sure, Yami, you can stay here," Anzu chirped to her friend. Bakura was sitting next to her, frowning. "But Bakura's been hanging around her a lot too, so..."

"That's okay, Anzu."

"My parents are on an extended business trip, so you won't have to worry about that."

"All right."

"Sometimes at night Bakura visits, though." The implication was clear.

"Oh. Okay."

"And, uh..." She leaned forward so Bakura couldn't hear. "Kaiba, on occasion. But only when Bakura's not here."

"(OO) Oh. Well. That is something."

"What is?" Bakura demanded.

"I just told him that when I'm on my time of the month, that he should be careful what he says to me or I'll pretty much turn into a banshee," Anzu lied glibly, smiling sweetly at Bakura.

"Hmmm..." Bakura eyed her suspiciously, but didn't ask anymore questions.

"So...Who wants to karaoke?" Yami and Bakura remembered the last time she had sung on Honda's birthday and both shook their heads rapidly. "Oh, well, fine. I guess it's just Mai and me, then."

"Yup," both Egyptians immediately said. She pouted, before leaving outside to go to Mai's. Both women is a death wish...My ears will bleed, Yami thought. I'll return in a week. At least then Grandpa, with his Alzheimer's, will forget about out encounter. Hopefully Jou and Yuugi, too. He shuddered. I never want to see two men goin' at it like that again. It's worse than that sex scene in Brokeback Mountain!

"I agree with you there," Devil Bakura said.

How are you here...And over there at the same time? Yami asked, looking at Bakura in the loveseat, flipping through the channels on TV.

"Don't ask trivial questions!" Yami sighed and decided that he'd try to go home as soon as possible.

I don't want to be around Bakura and his bad attitude for too long.

"Hey, Pharaoh," Bakura spoke up, "since Anzu isn't here – Go make me dinner."

"Do I have a letter N on my forehead?" Bakura turned from the TV and peered at his head.

"Nope."

"(-.-) I'm going to make a pizza. I'm starving."

"...Damn. At least Anzu made a roast or something."

"Well, I'm not Anzu, now am I?"

"Nope. You're just the next closest thing to dog crap."

"(-.-)" Maybe I'll go home tomorrow, depending.

X

DIS: (sweat drop) Okay...I know that was a rather disturbing chapter and probably really bad, too, but I had to get something down while I was still in the mood to type. Hope you enjoyed it, as bad as it was. Please review and I'll see what I can whip up later on. Sayonara!