As the door closed behind them, Jack sighed heavily, and felt Kaia take his hand tightly. Curtis was beginning to fall asleep, and Jack realised that he hadn't had a nap that day, which was strange. At least he would sleep well through the night. Or so he thought.
Only minutes after getting back to their room, Curtis had started complaining. Only not that he wanted to stay up and play, or that he was hungry, or that he wanted something to drink, or just moaning for moanings sake. No, he wanted the one thing that Jack could not give him at that moment.
He wanted Kate.
Curtis howled in Jack's arms as they sat together on the bed. Kaia sitting at the end of the bed, watching the news, even though she couldn't hear a word of it over her brothers crying. Jack tried his best to comfort him, though nothing was working, because he wanted Kate too. Spending the day with her, all four of them together again, had only added to to the heartache that he had felt by walking out of the door the previous day. He considered himself lucky with how easily he had managed to get the children to leave the room with him, when they all knew that Kate wasn't coming with them. Yet Jack found a small solace in the fact that she had their baby inside her, with her where no one could take it away from her. Only this wasn't something that he could explain to a two-year-old. At one point, even Charlie had come from across the hall to see if everything was alright, and Jack had merely explained that Curtis missed Kate. What more was there to say?
Kate's hands trembled as she found the envelope. She lifted it up, knowing instantly that the untidy but readable scrawl on the front was Jack's, it was true what they said about the handwriting of doctors. She slipped it open, and inside was a peice of paper.
Dearest Kate.
I hate writing this. I hate so much that all I can do to tell you how I feel is to sneak you a peice of paper and hope by some miracle that you find it. I just want you to know, even though I've said it a thousand times, that I'm going to get you out of there. I'm going to save you. Why? Because I love you, and our children need you. Sure, Dad's great, but he's not Mom. I'm not you. There's only so much I can do for them, and no force in the world will make me deny my children their mother. We get whatever we want courtesy of Oceanic, yet it hurts me more than a thousand knives digging into my body that the one thing that they truly want I cannot give them. When they ask me where you are, when you are coming home, it hurts. I need you, which is why whatever happens, you're going to come back to us.
I've got some people I can contact when we get back to the mainland. One of my friends from before the crash was a really high established lawyer, he never lost a case. I'll ring him and get him over here to represent you. Don't worry, he's trustworthy. Everyone is behind you Kate, and it's going to stay that way. We're all waiting for the day you can get back to how its supposed to be. Shannon's already planning a party, but its girls only apparently. Don't worry though, the rest of us have another party planned, that us males can come to. Or rather, Hurley and Charlie have it planned. Claire's been buying some films that we've missed out on, but she's refusing to watch them until she can watch them with you. I think it's just because Claire, Sun and Shannon are scared of watching them.
Everything's changed now. For me, it's just because you're gone. With you at my side, I don't care what happens, but now we can't be together, it's horrible. You're all I've known these past ten years, Kate, and all I ever want to know. I would have gone mad without you with me, and if I didn't have Kaia and Curtis right now, I think I would have gone mad the minute they tore you from my arms. I woke up this morning, with two sets of brown curls like yours beside me, but the third set was missing, and I hated knowing that they were resting on another pillow, thinner and less comfortable than ours. What I hated more though, was knowing that there was a part of my family missing, a part of me missing. I'll love you forever. Nothing can ever come between us. Not even all the law courts in the world. I'm not going to stop until you're back in my arms.
Hang on, Kaia's fighting me for the pen.
Hi MoMmy. Its KAIa. SeE, I Can write aLL my LetTers NoW. I LoVE You. CurTIs LovES yOU two. I LIke tHe TeLLY. CaN We HavE ONE at our NEw HoUse?
I think our daughter's becoming a television addict already. Anyway, I saved you something from the dining hall, figured that you and the baby might enjoy it...
Kate looked away from the letter for a moment, and looked into the envelope again to see a few precious squares of milk chocolate hiding away. She couldn't help but laugh at the times she had complained about craving chocolate when she was pregnant before. She looked back at the letter.
...There was a lot more of it, but it turns out that the kids like it as much as you do. They've been eating it all while I've been writing away. They're going to be bouncing off the walls later with all the sugar they've discovered. Note to self: Kaia's stomach hates peas. They tend to reappear ten minutes after they've gone down. Curtis wouldn't stop eating them though.
The kids are pestering me. We're on our way down to see you soon.
Behind that page, was a set of smaller peices of paper. She read them each in turn.
If I never knew you, If I never felt this love,
I would have no inkling of how precious life can be.
And if I never held you, I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you, the missing part of me.
In this world so full of fear, full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear, in your eyes
So dry your eyes.
And I'm so grateful to you,
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever, if I never knew you.
If I never knew you, I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel a love so strong and true
I knew our love would be so beautiful
Somhow we made the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing, we were right.
There's no moment I regret, since the moment that we met.
If our time has gone to fast
I've lived at last.
I'd gladly wait in the rain,
For you to tell me that you cared.
I'd gladly face the storm
To know that you'll be there.
I'd gladly stand in thunder
To be held in your arms.
I'd gladly watch the lightening,
For you to tell me that you loved me
Be my angel in the night
When there's nothing left but fright
Guide me safely through the dark
Back to multi-coloured arcs
Kiss me gently, hold me tight
Never let me leave your sight
No more leaving, no more pain
No more nightmares, no more shame
I'll be your saviour, if you be mine
Beat your wings, forever shine
With you I'm not afraid
With you I can do anything
With you I feel beautiful
With you I am invincible
With you I can climb mountains
With you I swim the seas
With you I fly with angels
With you I can make miracles
With you I always believe
With you I can't go wrong
But without you...I'm nothing
Three hours later, Jack had left his crying son in the bed only long enough to help Kaia change into her pyjamas and then the three of them had lay together. Kaia had her head using Jack's stomach for a pillow, and Curtis's crying face was buried on Jack's upper chest, with Jack's arm securely holding him there. By this point, Jack felt like screaming himself. If only that would bring Kate back to them. But it wouldn't. He wondered if she had caught onto his riddle.
He thought back to the envelope he had left her, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a melodic voice drifting to his ears. For a brief moment, the sound was all too familiar, and he thought that perhaps Kate had snuck in, and was hiding somewhere. Yet the voice was too close for that, coming from his chest. He moved his head to look down, and saw that it was Kaia's lips moving, and her voice that was floating around them. He remembered Kate asking her if she knew the words to their songs, and how his daughter had nodded. Yet his wasn't one of their songs. It wasn't Hushabye Mountain or Bright Eyes, it wasn't Living on a Prayer or Bohemian Rhapsody. It was something different. A song he hadn't heard for years. It was the song that Kate used to sing to Kaia as a young baby, when she thought that no one was listening.
"Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life"
"Kai?" He spoke quietly, because Kaia's singing had managed to get Curtis not only to stop crying, but also to fall asleep.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"Do you remember that song?"
He couldn't understand how something that she hadn't heard since before she could walk and talk was imprinted in her memory so clearly. Of course, it was still in his, and he remembered how he had thought that the song was perfect for Kate to sing to their child. She had loved the baby before she had held her in her arms for the first time, and Kaia was the first of what she had been waiting for all her life. Being a mother had given her the completed feeling that she had found her life's worth. Kaia wasn't only her daughter, she was her friend.
"It think so." Kaia said. "Who sung it?" She asked.
Jack rubbed his hand along her back. "When you were a baby, first born, your mother used to sing it to you when you were alone together, when she thought no one was listening." Jack explained.
"I miss Mommy." She said.
"I know." Jack said, as Kaia cuddled up to him even more sleepily. "But I'm going to bring her home to you."
