Gangsters Paradise part 21
Sam held his hand, his palms were sweaty, and he could feel his heart racing, he spoke first, not quite knowing where to start.
'ok….umm…well…it all started when I was six, mum and dad were always arguing, and Steve was only tiny so he didn't understand, after a while mum had had enough, so she left us for a few weeks, none of us knew where she'd gone, and we were left to look after ourselves, dad didn't care, he was an alcoholic, so he started hitting us, just like what he used to do to mum, and well other things happened….' he said, Sam didn't understand.
'what do you mean, 'other things happened'' she said, a single tear crept down Phil face, he quickly wiped it away, and carried on talking.
'anyway, one night he came into my room….my dad, and he…. Well he… did things to me, coz he hates me so much, I'm not the perfect son, not like Steve. I tried to fight him… I really did, but it wouldn't work, he was too strong, I couldn't stop him.' Phil broke down, and Sam just hugged him, she started to get tears in her eyes, she couldn't cry, she had to be strong for Phil. She held him close to her and she kept hearing soft cries after a while as he started to clam down. He pulled away, and Sam looked up at him as he did so. He got up and walked out of the room, he started to go upstairs, but stopped as he heard Sam follow him. He turned around to see her stood in the door way, looking up at him, she could see the hurt in his eyes, and she could tell he was trying to bottle it up inside.
'where are you going Phil?' Sam asked concerned.
'I'm just going upstairs, I wont be long.' he said with a slight smile, but inside this was killing him.
He walked onto the landing and went into the bathroom, he shut the door slightly and turned the tap on, he splashed his face with cool water, he looked into the mirror, he was ashamed of himself. How could he tell her the rest, this was only the half of it, he was so angry with himself for not just going back down their and telling her everything, but how could he, she would never trust him again.
He put the lid down on the toilet seat and just sat there, he could feel the tears coming again, he was trying so hard to be strong, he swore he would never cry over this again, but the truth was that he had cried himself to sleep most nights whilst he was growing up, and it didn't just happen the once, it happened about five times whilst his mum was away, and every time his mum and dad had a row he would beg his mum not to leave him again, and that if she did then he wanted to come with her. He was terrified of what was happening to him, why was this getting to him again, he then remembered the worst of it all, he had to go back down those stairs and face up to the fact that it was in the past, and he had Sam now to help him through it, tears slowly crept down his face again, he held his head in his hands sobbing……
Sam slowly walked up the stairs, she could he Phil's cries from where she was, she didn't know whether to leave him alone for a while, or go to him, and try to comfort him. This was hurting her too, and she couldn't bear to see him going through all this, not alone. She had been crying downstairs, as soon as Phil left the room she broke down in tears, she couldn't quite come to terms with the fact that someone would want to hurt him, and especially his own father! God knows what this was doing to Phil she thought, why would anyone want to do this to him, she kept saying over and over in her head. He was her boyfriend, and how on earth his dad had the cheek to even show up and ask for his help! Phil was really brave for standing up to his dad the way he has don't these past few days.
Sam stood outside the door, she could still hear Phil crying, but not as much as he was earlier, she slowly opened the door, he looked up at her, he tried to smile, but failed, and quickly wiped the tears away, Sam walked to Phil and put her arms around him, holding him close to her. After a while Sam took Phil's hand and led him to her bedroom, they both didn't speak, she kissed him slowly and passionately and she held him close to her again, she looked into his eyes and tears still kept falling, he slowly fell asleep in her arms……..
