Lin is taken to see some unbiased healers for an examination towards the trial.
A/N: So this chapter took a different turn, so I apologize we didn't get the sister bonding. I hope it to be in the next chapter though!
The following day after the interviews at the RCPD, Lin was taken to one of the healing clinics. Bao had strongly advised that she be looked over by a third party healer who could examine her markings without having a personal bias towards her.
Realistically, this was a hard task, as most healers in the City had been brought in or trained by Katara herself. But Himiko was able to find a small, more private clinic in the Fire Nation District that employed non-bending doctor's, a lone waterbending healer, and a firebender who trained on Bhanti Island with the Shaman there.
Lin twitched slightly in nervousness, as she was seated in just her underwear and a robe that opened from the back on top. Himiko had shared with her that it was best that there was no one with her and the healers, but if she truly needed someone, she needed to pick someone outside any influence of the events or of the case.
Right there, that meant no Kya, Katara, Istas, or even her mother. But it also meant Mai, Ty Lee, and Suki as they were all well known in the City, especially Mai in the Fire Nation District. She was basically left with either her Grandmother or her sister. Quite frankly, she didn't want either of them to have to see or hear what happened to her. In the end, she decided to go in alone. She knew that Himiko would be there as it was just an examination and not an actual healing session.
Uncle Aang had flown her over, Kya insisted on joining. "I'll wait right here for you, okay?" She had told Lin as she walked her to the waiting room. Lin had given her a shy nod and then followed the healer to the examination room, glancing back over her shoulder to Kya one last time before the door shut. She was then given a robe to change into before being left alone
A knock on the door interrupted her reverie, and soon three healers entered the room with Himiko. The tall lawyer sent her a reassuring look as she took her place by the door.
Lin swallowed at seeing the healers. They greeted her with gentle nods. First to approach was the non-bending doctor. She gave Lin a reassuring smile, that didn't actually reassure the tense earthbender. She asked many questions about Lin's health over the years as she started doing a physical.
First her limbs had been checked for marks and for reflexivity, and then her eyes, mouth and ears were checked. Lin was then asked to untie the back of the robe, which caused her to freeze up. Her eyes scanned the room, quickly focusing on the male firebending healer, who at her scared look, respectfully turned around. With extremely shaky hands, Lin untied the robe and let it fall open at the back. She instantly wrapped her arms protectively over herself and her unborn child, keeping the fabric from slipping completely off all the while wanting more than anything to just be back on the Island with her children.
The physician walked around to the other side of the bed to look at Lin's back. Lin flinched when their cold fingers touched one of the welted scars that lined her back.
"My apologies." The doctor murmured, having noticed her flinch. "This was caused by a belt, yes?" Lin just nodded and hummed in agreement. This went on for a while as the doctor examined each mark on her back. She finally addressed the largest one, which was usually mostly hidden by her chest wrappings - so it was one that even Kya wasn't aware of yet; she had glossed over how severe it had been yesterday during the interview. It was different from the others, having been a true cut versus a scarred welt. "And this one? What caused this? A knife?"
Lin squeezed her eyes shut. "No… No, that was an ice whip." She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "It… It's the oldest one. It was deep, and he… He just let me b-bleed, thinking it would stop. But it didn't. He-he ended up healing me a day later."
The appointment progressed. The other healers each took their turn quietly, only stopping here or there to quietly ask more information about some of the scars.
Eventually the male healer left, and Lin was asked if she would consent to a gynecological examination. She hesitatingly nodded her consent, unable to speak through her anxiety. Himiko came to stand by her head, offering silent support, but not touching her, and Lin appreciated the gesture despite not being able to show it.
She squeezed her eyes shut as her legs were put into the holders. She felt so exposed, and it took everything in here to not have a panic attack. They had explained that they would be able to tell if there had been trauma to the area in the past; so Lin understood, but it didn't make it any easier to handle.
"Alright Ms. Beifong. I believe we have collected all the information we need to make our reports. You may get dressed and leave when you are ready. Thank you for your time."
The doctor and healer gave the two women a bow of their heads and left the room.
"Do you need anything Ms. Beifong?" Himiko asked quietly. Lin shook her head. "Alright, I will step into the waiting room and wait for you with Master Healer Kya."
Lin didn't respond. It wasn't until the door clicked shut that she even registered that Himiko had left the room. She released a shaky breath, and then sat up. She eventually stood on unsteady legs and had to take a moment to make sure she wouldn't fall, before making her way to her clothes that were folded on the chair in the corner of the room.
Despite finally getting her clothes on, she still couldn't shake the feeling of being exposed. She pulled her coat around her tighter and worked up the courage to open the door and head into the waiting room.
She was relieved to see Kya there in the waiting room speaking with Himiko.
As soon as Kya's eyes found Lin, she was immediately across the room.
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
Lin just swallowed and looked down, unable to answer the question. She didn't startle when Kya placed her arm around her back, but she didn't melt into the touch like she was wont to do these days. After hearing Kya bid Himiko goodbye, she allowed the waterbender to guide her out into the back courtyard where Aang waited with Appa.
The ride to the Island was bitterly cold, but for once Lin was numb to the cold. She barely registered the whole ride and just followed Kya's lead when they arrived back at Air Temple Island.
"Do you want to lay down in my room? It will be quieter there." Kya offered.
Lin just nodded, eyes still cast on the ground, unable to find the energy to raise them and meet other people's gazes.
Luckily they didn't run into anyone on the way to Kya's room. Once inside, Kya went to take Lin's coat, but the earthbender shrunk into herself.
"Hey, you're okay sweetie." Kya said reassuring her, but stepping back a little to give the younger woman a little space.
The distance hurt Lin, but she also didn't want anyone touching her right now. She felt tainted and like everything she had held close to her over the years exposed for everyone to see written on her face.
"Would you like me to go get you some fresh clothes that you can relax in?" Kya asked.
Lin gave a faint nod of her head, turning slightly away.
When Kya left, Lin ventured over to the window and glanced outside. Below she could see her babies and Iroh teaming up against Bumi, Sokka, Tenzin, Suyin, and Baatar in a snowball fight. She allowed herself a moment to take in the joy on her children's faces, but it didn't alleviate the heaviness she felt. Her gaze finally settled on her sister, and she felt a pang thrum through her heart.
She couldn't help but feel jealous of the carefree expression on Suyin's face. How her green eyes were alight, and the cold causing her usually tan cheeks and nose to flush a pretty pink. The way she laughed freely, and kissed Baatar when they hid behind a wall of snow.
How she wished for a life like that.
To be free.
But instead she was stuck in her body and mind that had gone through so much. She knew she would never find herself like that. She was too damaged.
Su must have noticed her in the window, as she sent a smile and waved up at Lin. Lin froze before backing away from the window, not missing the way her sister's face fell.
This only made Lin feel guilty and tears filled her eyes. She didn't want to resent her sister. It wasn't Su's fault that her freedom was taken away. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together, as tears slipped down her cheeks.
She heard Kya enter the room behind her, but didn't turn around.
"Here Linny, I will place them on the bed okay. Do you want me to bring you anything else? Water, tea? A snack?" Lin didn't answer, and Kya took the hint. "Alright, sweetie, I will leave you to rest. I'll just be downstairs if you need me, okay?" With no response coming from Lin once more, Kya left, closing the sliding door behind her.
Lin squeezed her eyes shut as more tears fell hotly down her face. She felt her guilt rise to burn through her already reopened wounds from the last couple days.
Eventually she found enough strength to quickly undress and change into the pajamas that Kya had brought her, thankful to note that the nightgown, leggings, and thick socks would cover most of her up. She then climbed onto the bed, pulling the covers over herself as if the blankets would block out the world. She couldn't help submitting to the ache in her chest and crying into the pillow.
Surrounded by her family on this Island, and she felt as alone as she had while in the North Pole.
Hours later, Kya had popped her head in to check on Lin. She could just barely make out the earthbenders pinched face from above the blankets, as they had fallen down slightly. The waterbender knew that Lin was probably having a bad dream, but she wanted to respect her friend's boundaries. She could tell that the examination today had reopened a lot of trauma for Lin, and knew that she wanted some time alone to lick her wounds.
She closed the door, vowing to check in again soon, in case Lin's bad dreams got worse.
"Is Mama okay?"
Kya turned around to find all four children looking up at her with the same worried expression on their faces, one that was definitely inherited through their mother. Their cheeks were rosy from being outside, clothes rumpled from being under coats, and Tarlo had a leaky nose.
She offered them a reassuring smile. "Hey kiddos. Your mom is just feeling a little under the weather today." Kya winced when Tarlo went to wipe his nose with his sleeve. She caught his arm and pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, before wiping his nose.
"Can I see her?" He asked after whispering a thank you. "Mama always cuddles me when I'm sick."
Kya brushed back the curls from his face. "I think it is best we leave her alone for a little bit, okay?"
Tarlo pouted, as did Tayen.
"You know what would make her feel better?" Kya asked, wanting to redirect the children's focus.
The kids shook their heads.
"Why don't we go and make her some cards and such. I know that that will make her smile."
"I'm going to make her the best card ever!" Tayen exclaimed, loudly.
"No, me!" Tarlo loudly argued.
"Shh… Your mama is sleeping, we don't want her to wake up." The two had sheepish expressions on their faces as they glanced back at Kya. "Let's go." She said, ushering them downstairs.
Kya got the four set up with paper, crayons, and other crafting necessities, before going to grab some drinks for them all. In the kitchen she set about preparing some hot chocolate, making sure to make enough for others if they wanted some too.
"How is Lin?"
The waterbender jumped slightly, before turning to find a pair of concerned green eyes meeting hers.
Kya sighed. "She is resting right now. But I think the last two days have caused her to feel everything she had buried in order to survive."
"I saw her from outside earlier, in your window. I waved, but she disappeared." Suyin hesitated, biting her lip. "Have I done something to upset her? Does she hate me?"
Kya lowered the flame on the stove to let the milk simmer, before pulling the younger woman into her arms. "She loves you so much, Su. More than she can express right now." She pulled back a little, meeting the pistachio coloured eyes. "I do think it is hard for her to see you. That you are living a life she didn't get to live. But I firmly believe she doesn't blame you. Just give her some time, okay?"
Su nodded sadly, despite the reassurance. "I wish there was a way I could help her. I just… the last time we saw each other, I was 10… I don't know what to say to her."
"She will need her sister in the upcoming months. If you are feeling the gap between you, I guarantee that she is feeling just as awkward. She doesn't know you as an adult. She missed so much of your life. Just show you are there for her, and love her."
"Thank you Kya. Thank you for finding her and bringing my sister home." Su said, pulling Kya close once more. "I'm so glad she has you."
A/N: Apologies for the late chapter. I didn't have time to finish this one last week/weekend. I am considering moving to a bi-weekly update, perhaps I will try this out during the month of December due to the holidays, and then see if that is working come January.
So for now, I will see you in two weeks.
