Hurt - Chapter 11
Arrangements
Rated: T
Chapter Summary: Kirby comes home and finds out the truth while Donnie and Splinter are left wondering what to do.
"...April?" the anxious voice of Kirby broke out into the apartment four days after he'd left for an out of town conference.
When he walked in, he'd noticed many things - first - it was filthy. There were dirty dishes in the sink that had been there for quite some time, sodden laundry washed but never inserted in the dryer, and there was not even a dent in the groceries he'd bought the day he left. The most alarming out of all of these was the fact that April had not answered his calls after the first day since he'd been gone. Panic laden in his system, he'd rushed home a week early to find his apartment the way he'd left it. Anxiety buried deep into his gut, he'd made a beeline for his daughter's room, with heart slamming against his sternum, he swung open the door and to his relief and surprise, April lay on her bed; eyes glazed but blinking as she stared at the ceiling.
Kirby ran to her, touching her sweaty forehead and brushing back the greasy bags that clung to her skin.
"April, sweetheart, what's wrong? Why didn't you answer your phone? I was worried sick!" Kirby demanded, swallowing down the lump in his throat and trying to calm his breathing when his daughter's eyes finally met his. The normally bright blue irises were dull, the whites completely bloodshot and dark purple bags underneath was enough to know something was terribly wrong. He watched as April's eyes cleared for a moment as if she just realized he was actually there. The second they did, fresh tears filled her eyes and her lip wobbled for only a moment before she launched herself into his arms with a raspy sob; burying her face into his jacket and crying like he'd never seen her do since she was a child.
"April, please, tell me what's wrong, sweetie..." Kirby begged, arms immediately wrapped around her now incredibly thin, shaking frame; hands rubbing soothing circles on her back as she sobbed. It was apparent she hadn't eaten in days...
"R-Raph's d-d-dead, daddy..." April's sobbing voice was muffled into his now tear-soaked jacket.
Kirby's heart lurched at the words; he wasn't particularly close to the turtles that April loved, but Raphael had become a fixture at their house as of late. Coming over and watching movies or playing video games with his daughter after he'd walk her home from school on occasion. The few conversations they had personally were nice; Raphael was respectful if a bit quiet, speaking only when spoken to but with April, he was loud and boisterous; his dry humor always causing his daughter to laugh. To acknowledge the fact that same boy was dead; his first thought was disbelief - Raphael seemed to be the strongest out of the bunch and for him to die at such a young age was shocking to say the least.
"W-What happened, April?"
"It was all my fault!" she screamed into the fabric of his clothes, her small fists tightening into the brown corduroy.
"...What do you mean it was your fault?"
"R-Raph was walkin' me home a-and there was this...*whine* this guy...a-a-and I don't know! It all happened to fast! *sniffle* Before I even realized what happened, Raph was already on the ground and he was b-bleeding everywhere..." April pulled her face away from his chest and looked up at him; the grief etched so deeply into her eyes as she continued, "I couldn't stop it a-and he died in my arms, daddy! H-He just got so quiet...a-and I tried everything, but just he wouldn't wake up!...It was my fault it happened...it's because of me that Raph's dead!"
Kirby flinched when she suddenly pushed her face into his chest, short fingernails digging into his jacket as the sobs rung out throughout her room. The middle-aged man wasn't sure what to say in response to her story. His heart crumbled further as he listened to his child's cries and the fact this young man died while saving her life.
"I'm sorry, April...I'm so sorry..." he whispered into her hair, cradling the back of her head. Words failed him; he couldn't find other words to tell her to comfort her - what she told him next just twisted inside his gut further.
"Donnie and Leo hate me now... Mikey's a mess...a-and Splinter said they're gonna bury Raphael in the sewers, daddy! R-Raph's one of my best friends! He deserves so much more than that! I-I just don't know what to do, dad... I can't believe this is happening!... I just want him back...*whimper*...I miss him somuch..." his daughter sobbed into his chest and Kirby began to feel the dampness that was leaking through his jacket.
His mind was a torrent of emotions - not even fathoming what Raphael's family was going through - especially his father...
Kirby shuddered the thought of losing his April - she was all he had left in this cruel world and by April's story, it sounded as if he had to thank Raphael for that. The fact that the boy lost his life while saving his daughter filled him with all-encompassing grief; the burning of tears forming in his eyes as he cradled his daughter that much closer to his chest.
Helplessness washed over him as he thought about how he could possibly help his daughter and the family that just lost a son and brother... Just fathoming the thought of those kind mutants who saved him and his daughter multiple times having to bury one of their own in those dirty sewers wasn't right. Raphael had saved his daughter and in turn lost his own life - he did deserve much more than a tomb in those underground tunnels...but what was a simple human man to do?
It wasn't until many long minutes of listening to his beloved April's cries and his mind full of scenarios later was when he realized he could do something.
"I have an idea." he spoke softly against the side of her head and April flinched at his words, going as far to pull her face away from his chest to peer up at him with tear-stained and heavily bloodshot blue eyes.
"W-what?"
"I think I may have a place for him."
"W-What d-d-do you mean, daddy?" April sniffled, wiping hopelessly at the torrent of tears leaking from her bloodshot eyes.
"...What about Northampton?"
"Northampton?" April asked with furrowed brows and the saddest blue eyes he'd ever seen.
"I know it's been forever since we lived there but I still own the property and the most important part is it's secluded. It needs a bit of upkeep, but the land is beautiful; if he's buried there, his family can go and visit him whenever they want..."
"...dad, I dunno, I..." April mumbled, head shaking and body trembling in his arms.
"April, it's the least I can do for them...for Raphael... I owe his family...and especially him for saving my little girl..." he whispered, allowing a few stray tears to fall down his cheeks as April buried her face in his chest once again. Her soft sobs seemed to increase and all the redheaded man could do was hold his child to him and silently thank the boy who saved her life.
"But dad, Splinter told me to leave! I-I just can't go back there!" April shuttered in his arms, small hands clutching the fabric at his sides.
"I'll go with you." Kirby whispered, running a large hand aside her head to turn her face up to him. "Now, get dressed and we'll head over there."
April stared at her father for awhile until his hand pulled away. She watched with bated breath as Kirby stood to his feet and wordlessly left her room to allow her to get ready. Blankly staring at the door he vacated from, April couldn't find the strength to move; her body completely exhausted and soul shattered somewhere amidst her bowels.
Everything just hurt...
She didn't want to move, just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up; to not live in a reality where she was responsible for the death of one of her beloved turtles. Yet, every time she closed her eyes, he was all she could see; lying so unbelievably still and covered in blood. Green eyes slipping closed and as much as she screamed and begged for him to, he never woke up...
Wiping fruitlessly at her overflowing tears (she had no idea how they still kept coming when she could barely find it in her to choke down a glass of water), April stood up. Her legs protesting but after what her dad offered, she knew staying here and moping wasn't helping anybody; especially Raphael's family. Her dad offered them a precious gift and she knew she had to go; so with body weak and shaky, April did as she was told.
Donatello was at his wit's end; sitting silently on the couch, Mikey clinging to him like a lifeline. It'd been four days since Raphael's death and Leo still had yet to show back up. Things had gotten so bad that even Splinter had gone out looking for him for hours but to no avail.
Donnie was questioning if the blue-banded leader ever considered showing his face again. They still had no idea what to do about a funeral; Splinter desperately wanting Leo there to help with arrangements and figuring out just what to do, yet the leader never came home to do so. The genius terrapin had wired his lab much like you would a freezer; keeping his brother's body in a state of limbo to ward off decomposition and everything that came with it. He'd questioned embalming his older brother for further measures of preservation, but found he couldn't do it. He simply couldn't drain the rest of his brother's blood and force chemicals into his veins for his body to remain "fresh"...he just couldn't...
Mikey was having the hardest time with everything. He slept a lot and couldn't eat and whatever Donnie or Splinter forced him to, it came right back up. It was worrying enough to have to give him IV's of fluid and nutrients while he slept without his knowing. Everything was quickly falling to pieces and heading straight to hell. Donatello's days were filled with questions, anxiety, and stomach-turning grief and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take without completely losing his mind. Splinter approached him last night and told him of a somewhat clean alcove in the sewers he'd found...but none of it felt right to Donnie.
Raph had always hated living underground; he'd dealt with it but whenever the hotheaded terrapin had a chance; he'd be above it (hence his reckless behavior and sneaking out all the time). Being outside was one his greatest pleasures in life and Donnie didn't want for his brothers final resting place to be somewhere down here where it was dark, dank, disgusting, and wet...
It just didn't seem right.
That's when Splinter approached him with a different plan - cremation. Donnie quickly shot it down explaining the variables of not having a proficient machine to do so and even if they somehow managed to burn his brother's corpse, the bones, skull, and shell would still remain and to think of how traumatizing that would be to have to sift through his older brother's ashes and have so much residual left made Donnie sick just thinking about it.
All options weighed, Donatello was torn. His soul shivered in his chest as he came to terms with their only options. Looking down at Mikey, he knew breaking down wasn't an option anymore; he had to step up and take over for Leo. Being strong was not as easy as Leo or Raphael made it seem to be; there was such a hole in his heart that continued to widen as the minutes, hours, and days trickled by like sand through his fingers. They were slowly running out of time to figure it all out and as much as Donnie hated the idea, the alcove Splinter had found seemed to be the only viable option which they had to live with... A dejected sigh left the genius's mouth as he cradled the youngest brother closer.
It appeared as if there was no more choice left and he had to accept it.
Donnie was about to pry Mikey's arms off of him to lay him down on the couch when a sudden noise from the turnstiles got his attention. He swung over, praying he'd see Leo standing there (a part of him still expected to see Raphael...and it hurt like hell); instead, it was April with her father walking just a step behind her...
