Harry hated confrontation; in fact, he was so adept at avoiding it that sometimes he wondered if it was healthy. Which was, he guessed, why he was currently listening to grown adults argue. Harry had asked to be kept up to date on all reports regarding the Order. He had asked that he greenlight any Order missions, after all, Harry had to defeat Voldemort in the end. So, he should at least have a vote on how to protect the world against Voldemort.
The more he learned about the Order the more aggravated he got, however. He knew that it was being run differently from last time however he thought adults could at least get along. His anger was only fuelled by a voice in his head trying to convince him Voldemort was good. A voice that weirdly enough sounded like the mad man himself.
Harry had no clue what the Order was bickering about nor did he care, all he wanted was to be at the Manor with Ginny. Ginny kept the voice in his head at bay and the nightmares away. Ginny was safe.
As such Harry gave a note to Sirius who read it and stood up.
"Right, you lot Shut up! Harry wants to tell you something!" the order looked to Harry who for his part tried to remain calm.
I understand this is hard, you wish to defend instead of taking a back seat but the war won't be won that way.
At this, a redhead stood up, the oldest Weasley child. Harry felt his heart drop, he forgot Bill was there.
"I understand the theory behind not fighting the death eaters but what is the point of the Order if not to fight evil?" he asked. At his question a few members stirred, they too agreeing with the eldest Weasley. Harry balled his fists
It is to prevent mindless slaughter. You are all accomplished wizards and witches in your own right I will not deny you that. However, whilst Voldemort is mindful about how much magical blood is wasted his death eaters are not. It is not your duty to fight him, it is mine!
The order stilled at the conviction in his voice. Some looked in awe of Harry's boldness whilst some looked downright offended. Bill, however, sat down, appeased by the conviction in Harry's voice, in his place stood Alastor Moody.
"You are but a child Potter, you cannot defeat he who must not be named regardless of what the Prophet says, Ya can't even speak child!" At his last remark, Sirius looked like he would pounce across the table and kill Alastor. Harry, however, placed a hand on his shoulder to appease him, Harry was mute, not an invalid.
I can still communicate; I can still cast magic. My condition didn't prevent me from competing in the Triwizard Cup, nor did it prevent me from surviving capture by Voldemort for weeks after being tortured. You have all expressed concern over the fact we are not fighting the dark side. We are instead doing something much better; we are promoting equality; we are promoting safety and love above all. Do you know why people choose Voldemort's side? It is because they are ostracized by the light. You see something different and you outcast people for it. You cast aside those that practice the supposed dark arts when none of you realizes. Magic just is, there is no light or dark side to it, it is up to the casters will. By your standards I am dark, I cast my words rather than speak them, I do not use a wand and I speak parselmouth. Yet you need me and if you do not change your unrealistic ideals, you will all be puppets at Voldemort's control!
Harry sat down, feeling slightly exhausted, he hated projecting his thoughts, it drained him. The order sat in silence too stunned to reply. Sirius looked to his godson
"You okay Harry?" he asked. Harry nodded, trying to control his body. Sirius smiled at him grimly
"Go Home Harry, I'll sort these lot out" Harry gulped and nodded gratefully and slowly backed out of the room to the floo network, flooing home.
Not twenty minutes later found Harry wandering the gardens, hand in hand with Ginny. He already felt better just being in her presence as she talked about the latest Holyhead Harpies scores. It was like there wasn't a war. They walked around the flower beds, to the lake and sat down, Ginny picked up a stone and threw it across the water.
"You know Harry, I think we should just leave England to fight for themselves" she suggested. Harry laughed, he too had that thought sometimes. It would be so much easier to just let the world burn. Ginny shook her head however
"But then what would we do with our time if not saving everyone else?" she asked. At her question the dark voice entered his head again, telling him all the terrible things he would do to both the world and Ginny. He shook his head, trying to clear the thought. Ginny who noticed he had zoned out watched him for a moment before trying to skim a rock across the pond and failing. She groaned in frustration which made Harry smile. She was such a perfectionist sometimes. Harry nudged her and she looked to him
"Yes Harry?" she asked. Harry scribbled something on his notepad
I could show you but I'd have to be behind you controlling your wrist is that okay?
Ginny read the note and bit her lip, which made Harry's heart speed. It should be illegal to be that adorable. She nodded and Harry helped her up, Ginny chooses a small rock off the floor. Slowly Harry stood behind her, snaking one around her waist and the other gripped her hand. Instantly his cheeks warmed, it felt a bit too intimate but Harry was okay with it. For a few moments, he showed her the wrist movement before taking a step back and letting her do it.
When she accomplished it, she yelled out in triumph
"Harry, I did it! Did you see that!" she asked. Harry laughed, his laugh was cut short as Ginny ran into his arms, euphoric. Harry tensed at the sudden physical contact but didn't let go. Ginny, realising what she did froze as well.
"Oh I'm sorry Harry I should have asked before I hugged you like that"
"It okay!" he insisted. Truthfully it was, he was a bit shocked that she had literally jumped on him but more often than not they shared a bed, usually hugging and watching movies so hugging him was okay. Still, Harry pulled back to look at her, only to find her gazing at him with piercing eyes. Ginny bit her lip again which made Harry's brain freeze. She needed to stop doing that or he'd forget how to function.
"Harry?" she asked. Harry nodded
"We don't have to; I mean unless you want to but would it be okay if I kissed you?" she asked. Harry suddenly felt sick. He wanted to kiss Ginny, he had for years wondered what that would be like but he could never get the images of seedy old men and women doing the same thing out of his head. So, he took a step back, putting space between him and Ginny. A look of hurt flashed over Ginny's face but it went as quickly as it came. Harry suddenly felt rather stupid, he should want to kiss Ginny, they had been dating for four months and most people he knew told him kisses usually happen in the first few weeks.
When Harry had seized up Ginny grabbed his hand to ground him
"It's okay Harry, remember we need to consent to these things. I'm okay not kissing you until we're ready." Harry felt his anxiety lessen, just slightly. It seemed Ginny wasn't mad. She wasn't going to hit him or break up with him. Harry nodded and let Ginny pull him back to the lake and sat him down, she sat next to him, asking if she could lay in his lap. Harry nodded and Ginny placed her head on him. Absentmindedly harry began playing with her hair.
"Besides, when we do kiss, I want it to be special not just because we have to and we have the rest of our lives to figure it out" she then sighed contently as Harry stared out at the lake. He didn't know how to tell her that they probably didn't have forever if his nightmares were anything to go by. If the voice in his head didn't drive him crazy then the nightmares certainly would. How could he tell her that he was prophesized to die for a world he was beginning to lose faith in.
