Yeah, another chapter. I'm enjoying this story a lot. And I'm still on an updating frenzy.

Disclaimer: RENT is not mine.

Warning: Slash. Roger gets a little mushy and sappy in this chapter too.

Thank you reviewers! Reviews make me happy! (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

After RENT: Our Story

Chapter Three: Rainy Day

ROGER'S POV

It had been a beautiful funeral. White and pink flowers everywhere. Her casket of black with white satin inside. Her pink granite headstone.

The last two weeks have been awful. She didn't even last the whole month. Only two painful weeks of tears, tests and praying to a god we didn't follow. I watched her breath her last breathe, held her hand while she slipped away. I never left the hospital in those two weeks. And Mark was always at my side, like he always has been.

After she died, he didn't even leave me. He lent me a shoulder to cry on, a person to confide in. I was determined to not close myself off like I did when April killed herself.

"Watch it!" I snap out of my thoughts and look around. A homeless man is sitting below my feet, soaking wet. 'Since when has it been raining?' I apologize, give him a few bucks and continue to walk aimlessly, overwhelmed at my grief.

I knew I would miss Mimi. She was beautiful and full of life and love. Love for me, love for everything fun and wild. Even after that fateful night where I told her I wanted her to be Mark, she loved me. And she knew. She knew I only loved her as a friend, like a sister, nothing more. But I miss her so much. I did have feelings for her. I wanted to love her like she wanted. Like she needed and deserved.

I often felt bad about not loving her like I should have. The worse part is that it was the same with April.

In April I saw the same excitement and lust for live. I think she was my biggest fan. She came to all of the band's gigs. She knew all of our songs by heart. When she asked me for a drink, I gladly accepted. We started going out a lot, and I really liked her spirit. We partied almost every night, always slept together. When she offered me heroin for the first time, I had no second thoughts about taking it.

It was such a wonderful feeling. All worries and stress were gone. Nothing could have been wrong. I began to need it, I would do anything for that high. Beg, steal money, use other people's heroin and needles. After awhile, Mark found out and he tried to make me quit. But I would yell at him to leave me the hell alone. He never gave up on me.

I still remember when April was having blood work done and she found out we had AIDS. After they took the blood, Collins, Benny, Maureen, April, Mark and I went out to the Life Café for dinner. She left early to wait for the test results. When we eventually got home, it was late.

"April baby. You here?" I called. I checked Mark, Maureen's and my room, but she wasn't there.

"Maybe she went back to her place." Mark said, patting my arm reassuringly. Even then I felt the rush of feelings for him. I agreed and opened to the door to the bathroom.

That image will forever be burned into my mind. April's body in the red tub of water. Her eyes, wide and open, frightened. Her wrists turned up, slit open. The floor had red droplets leading from the sink to the tub. In the sink lay a bloody razor. And on the mirror was written that message: WE'VE GOT AIDS.

I stumbled backwards, horrified and I ran into Mark. "Hey Roger-" Mark started before he saw the bathroom. "Holy shit." He backed away as well, his hands on my shoulders, while the others surrounded us.

After that I went into withdrawal. I gave up heroin, gave up everything. Benny and Collins moved out. Soon after Maureen broke up with Mark, having found someone else, a woman. But Mark helped me out, he was always helping me. No matter his own problems.

Maybe that's why I fell for him. The quiet, helpful Mark. I wanted that, that caring factor, that "I'm always here" in the person I loved. But we said we wouldn't fall for each other. So instead, I chose April and Mimi. Wild girls with love for life.

I loved them, but I wasn't in love with them. There is a difference. I don't remember ever being in love with anyone before Mark. Love at first sight, I guess.

I laugh out loud with that thought, earning looks from the few people on the street, all huddled under umbrellas. I must look crazy. Outside in the pouring rain, no umbrella, in my tie and suit from the funeral. Hair a mess, eyes red. The rain washing away my tears. I stop and stand in the middle of the street, head thrown back and eyes closed, letting the rain clear my mind and letting it wash away my worries and fears, my sorrows for a few brief moments.

Eventually I need to go home. Everyone will worry. I sigh and head for the loft, paying attention to the street. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and pictures: April, Mimi, Mark.

I get my key out and walk up the stairs to the loft. I moved back in with Mark after Mimi was admitted to the ICU. We didn't actually move any of my stuff until yesterday though.

I open the door to the loft quietly and listen. I don't hear anyone, they must have all left. I step in and shut the door.

"ROGER!" I turn around to see Mark in his bedroom door, back in his everyday clothes. "You're soaking wet!" He walks over to me and takes my jacket off. He sighs heavily. "Go into the bathroom and take your wet stuff off before you get sick." I do so, hearing him muttering something about immune systems, AIDS and me. I feel butterflies flutter in the pit of my stomach. I strip and dry off with a couple of towels. Mark knocks and cracks open the door, handing me some jeans and a shirt, face turned away from me.

"Thanks, Mark." I slip them on and open the door all the way. He's standing there, looking at me with worried eyes. I smile, before tears fill my eyes. I stumble forward, towards him and he catches me in his arms, almost falling from my weight.

"It's okay Roger." He rubs my back while I cry, soothing me and whispering in my ear. I pull away after a few minutes and he wipes the tears from my face, smiling at me softly.

"Thanks for everything, Mark. I couldn't make it without you." He pats my shoulder.

"I'm always here for ya buddy," He smiled again, trying to cheer me up.

"Hey, do you wanna go out? Get something to eat?" I ask him and his smile gets bigger. I know I just made his day. I'm grieving and I want to go out. Don't think that's ever happened before.

"Sure." He disappears into his room, grabbing his camera no doubt. I go sit at the table, head in my hands, wishing I knew how to tell Mark that I loved him.