Everything in this chapter in italics is flashback to how Jack and Kate got together before this story. I was going to post it up as a prequel, but thought that it would be more fun for Kate to tell the story to the girls.
Angel
xxx
Chapter 49: Special
Kate sat on the edge of the shoreline, watching the sunset, as she always did. She loved the colours, and strangely, they represented freedom to her. They showed her that the world was still out there, because someone else could see the same sunset. The water came up around her ankles, and before it reached where she was sat and soaked her jeans, she took shuffles back along the sand.
Jack knew that she would be there. He had watched her for the past three days, wondering whether she would turn around and see him, or if she would remain so deep in her own thoughts that she was oblivious to her presence.
The first day, he had only seen her for a few minutes as he walked by behind her. She turned at the sound of his footsteps, and saw him walking away, his back turned to her.
The second day, he had made his excuses to the people of camp, saying that he was going for a walk, and had returned to the clearing to watch her, almost hoping for a chance to speak to her, yet knowing that he would have some explaining to do if she turned and watched him.
The third day, he had made up his mind. After two full days of thinking, he knew that something needed to be done before both of them went crazy. He started thinking about what he could do to prove it to her, to show her, that was more than words could describe…mainly because whenever he was around her she left him completely at a loss for words.
So that day, the fourth day, he stood and watched her, waiting for the perfect opportunity to present himself. However, that problem was soon solved for him, when Vincent appeared behind him, and started barking madly.
"Shh! No! Vincent! Shh!"
But it was too late, Vincent's barking had already brought Kate out of her thoughts and her attention was now focused on Jack as she turned around.
"Jack?" She asked. "What are you doing out here?"
Caught out, he surrendered, and walked over to her, Vincent following him and butting his hand along the way. The dog then ran ahead, going over to Kate excitedly who scratched behind his ears, and he lay down in the sand beside her as Jack sat down on the dog's other side, keeping the space between them.
"Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you." He said guiltily as he relaxed back on his hands.
"No problem." Kate said, looking over the ocean.
"Enjoying the view?" He asked casually, following her gaze to the beautiful sunset.
"I love sunsets." She revealed passionately. "Reminds me of freedom."
He smirked. "We sure have a lot of that now."
"When I was on the run, it was something that felt like home." She revealed, but stopping herself before she revealed too much. She turned to Jack, "You ever have something that made somewhere strange feel like home?"
"Yeah," He said, before he could stop himself, yet he managed to prevent himself from revealing that it was her that made the island feel like home.
"What was it?" She asked.
"A person." He said simply.
"Someone you loved." She realised, and he heard a bit of sadness in her voice he guessed.
"And still do." He said, keeping his eyes trained on the scarlet horizon before him.
"Oh my God!" Shannon cried excitedly. "Was it you?"
"Shannon, let her tell the story."
He met her eyes for a moment, and feared that he had just ruined everything, but instead she smiled at him. "What was she like?" She asked.
"Beautiful." He said immediately. "Intelligent…amazing…fun…good company…caring…" He smiled to himself, and then seemed to retract that former list. "…like no one else I've ever known."
"You said you still love her." Kate said, "Does she love you?"
If only he knew. It was the question he had come to get answered. "I don't know." He revealed sadly, knowing that they were okay as long as she thought he was talking about someone else. "I hope so."
Was that sadness in her eyes? There was definitely something there, and she definitely felt a little pang of pain as he said those words. She had always hoped that perhaps there was something in Jack's heart that felt for her, even if it wasn't what she wanted it to be. However, hearing that he was hoping for the love of another woman was too much to handle, and he spoke so highly of her as well. She must have been an amazing woman to earn his respect to that great an extent. She envied that woman, whoever she was, for the way that Jack seemed to worship her.
"Did you have a person?" He asked as they lapsed into silence that for once, was uncomfortable between them. Usually their no-words-needed frame of mind was sufficient for them, but today, now, sat before this sunset as they revealed perhaps the deepest contents of their minds, it was different.
"I liked to think so." Kate said with a gentle smile. "It's nice to think that there's someone you can turn to when things get bad…someone who gives you the feeling that maybe things aren't as bad as they seem." Her voice trailed of quietly towards the end, and Jack noticed that her eyes were closed. "Someone to take care of you." She added in a minute whisper.
What the hell? Was that Kate asking to be protected by someone?
"Seriously, Kate? Needing to be protected?" Shannon asked her.
"Shannon, let her tell the story."
"And here's me thinking that you wanted to take care of yourself." Jack said lightly, smiling as she opened her eyes to look at the ocean and a gentle smile of her own tugged at the corners of her lips.
"I can take care of myself." She reminded him gently. "But sometimes…even girls like me need people to look after them."
"There are no girls like you." He said, shaking his head, and she looked at him with a curious expression. "You're one of a kind, Kate."
She smiled gently, and didn't reply for a while until she turned back to the ocean. "That's nice, Jack." She said quietly, still smiling to herself as she watched the waves get closer to them, but not actually touching them.
"It's true." He nodded. "Think about it, no one on this godforsaken island is half the person you are." He threw his arm backwards, gesturing in the direction of the camp about a mile or two away. She looked at him, meeting his eyes silently. Was this Jack thinking highly of her? Twice as highly as anyone else in the camp? Was she dreaming? "If there was anyone on this place to keep me sane, it would be you."
Vincent's head nudged Kate's shoulder, startling her out of her daydreams. Was this really happening?
"I second that." She agreed with a smile. "I probably would have disappeared into the jungle and not come back months ago if it hadn't been for you."
"I'm glad that you're not running anymore." He smiled, and she nodded.
"I think I'm too tired to run anymore." She shrugged.
"Or maybe there's just more stopping you from running then there is forcing you to run." Jack suggested.
Maybe he was right. She certainly had more going for her on this island than when she was running back home. Well, it wasn't really home, more just civilisation - strangely, this island had become home to her now. She was sleeping on an exotic beach, waking up to the sound of the waves, when before she was waking up in the back seat of whatever car she had stolen last, hoping that she wasn't going to raise her head to the window and see a Marshal standing there watching her. She had friends, who trusted her, rather than a family who had betrayed her. Though these friends were swiftly becoming like the family she had always wanted; Claire had already dubbed her 'Aunty Kate' to Aaron. She wasn't held down by anything here, but perhaps the fact that she knew she could run so easily, but didn't have to was what stopped her from it.
Or maybe it was Jack.
Jack, who she had stumbled across first on the island, who had begged her to sew up a wound on his back, even though he was a doctor himself. Jack, who was always looking out for other people before himself, who was more determined to save people than anyone she had ever know. Jack, who was brave, and caring, and compassionate, and protective, and everything she had ever wanted to call her own, but couldn't. Jack, who she could talk to about anything, yet couldn't admit to him that she loved him more than anything she had ever known.
Yeah…it was Jack…without a doubt. She just couldn't bring herself to run from him and leave him behind.
"Wow!"
"Shannon, let her tell the story!"
"Yeah," She answered with a gentle nod and a smile. "Yeah, I think you're right."
Jack looked behind him, at the clearing he had just appeared from, and then back to Kate. He stood up, watching her gaze return to the ocean, and then back to him as he extended his hand towards her.
"Come with me." He told her, waiting for her to take his hand. "I want to show you something." He added.
Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his, and he helped her up from the ground. "Where are we going?" She asked as she steadied herself on her feet, with a little help from Jack, who held her arm. Jack kept his hand on her arm, and moved it to her lower back, leading her away from the shoreline and into the jungle. "You're not going to tell me, are you?" She realised slowly.
"Nope." He said with a small laugh. "That's the beauty of a surprise."
"A surprise, huh?" She asked. "Am I going to like it?"
"I hope so." Jack nodded. "Otherwise it's a bit of a waste of a day for me."
"A day?" She asked, looking at him, but he kept his eyes trained before him avoiding her eyes purposefully so that he didn't reveal anything.
"He spent a day planning you a surprise? So that's where he disappeared off to!"
"Shannon, seriously, stop talking!"
"What? I'm just saying."
They walked for about half an hour, all the while with Jack's hand on her back, making excuses to either watch her step, mind that branch, or to turn a different direction. Somewhere along the journey she wondered whether these were just excuses to keep his hand on her back, right near the hem line of her t-shirt which exposed bare skin. Occasionally his hand brushed the skin and her heart jumped at the touch, but she managed to keep herself composed.
"Jack, where are we going?" She asked again after a long silence.
Jack stopped and looked around him for a moment.
"Jack?" She asked again.
"We're here." He said, and she looked around them.
"Where?"
"Here." He said again, and pulled her by the hand into a clearing.
They were now stood back on the edge of the beach, the foliage of the forest behind them, and the crashing waves of the ocean in front of them. Kate stared around her, noticing the familiarity of the place, with a gentle frown.
"I know this place." She realised quietly, remembering the secluded area of trees she had run into long ago.
"It was the place that we first met." Jack confirmed. Of course it was, it was the same secluded part of the beach border that she had sewn up the wound on his back.
"He took you back to the place that you first met? Totally getting together!"
"Shannon, shut up, and let her tell the story!"
"Besides, we know they got together!"
Kate smiled. "I thought so." She mused, and let out a sigh as she looked around her again. "It's a beautiful place." She realised. "I guess we never really had a chance to look before."
"I have." He nodded, and she raised an eyebrow at him.
"Come here a lot?" She asked casually.
Again, he nodded. "Whenever I need to get away to think, I come here. I've been here all day."
She cocked her head slightly to one side, and he smiled. He loved it when she did that so innocently. "You have?"
"Needed to think." He shrugged. "Had to figure something out."
"Oh." She said with a slow nod. "Did you work it out?" He shook his head, and she frowned a little. "Jack?"
He looked away from her, staring at the sand between them and focusing on their clasped hands. He took up her other hand as well, holding them both between his own, and it was only then that Kate realised that they were still entwined.
"I've been here all day." He repeated. "Trying to figure out how to make this absolutely perfect. I didn't want to screw anything up, so I wanted everything to be how it should be. I wanted it to be special." He said, and she could hear the shame in his voice that came from not reaching his goal. "But I couldn't do it."
"Why not?" She asked, wondering if there was some way to help him. "What couldn't you do?"
"I couldn't make it special." He said, now clearly disappointed in himself.
"Couldn't make what special?" She asked him, tightening her hold on his hands to reassure him slightly.
"I'm not a magician, Kate. I can't make things appear out of nowhere." He sighed heavily, looking out to the water, and then finally meeting her gaze. "I can't offer anything special. I haven't got a dozen red roses, I've got no chocolates, and I've certainly got no diamonds. Just…myself."
She gave his hands another squeeze, if only to assure herself this time that she was still holding them. "Jack, what are you saying?" She asked him quietly, only just audible over the crashing waves in the sunset that was just fading into a mass of red and navy of the coming night sky.
"I'm saying that this is all I have to offer." He said determinedly. "If all I have to give is myself and everything that I have within me, then that's what I'm going to give you."
Kate replayed that in her head, realising, speechlessly, that he had said 'you'. He was talking to her. He was offering himself to her. "Me?" Was all she was able to say.
He nodded. "I wanted this to be special." He repeated again. "I wanted to bring you here, and to show you something amazing, something just as beautiful as you are, and make you realise just how special you are to me. But there's nothing here I can give you besides myself, and my heart." He looked at the sunset, but she kept staring at his eyes, admiring the same view he was, but reflected in his chocolate brown eyes instead. "At the end of the day, I'm not the big hero that everyone makes me out to be. I fail, just like everyone else does, and I'm not some kind of super hero. I'm just a man, a normal man." He turned to look at her again, and she gave him a weak smile, which he returned. "Earlier, you said that even you needed someone to take care of you, and I want to be that person, Kate. Even if I'm not the one that makes a place like this seem like I home, I want to be able to take care of you, protect you, build my world around you, and…love you."
Feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders by telling her, he let out a sigh and returned his gaze to the ground. At least that way, he wouldn't see her walk away from him. Instead of her disappearing when he felt her hands release his, he felt her hands on his face, and she raised his head so that she could look into his eyes.
"Jack, you have made this special." She told him softly. "No roses, or diamonds, or chocolates could make this better."
"I know it's not much, but it's all I have, Kate." He reminded her. "And I want you to have it all."
"You were that person." She said, and he looked at her strangely, wondering what she was talking about. "The person that made an unsafe place feel like home. It was you. It was always you." She revealed, and he smiled a bit.
"You were my person too." He said, even though she had already realised that by now. "I meant what I said, Kate. I'm not a superhero, but if you want me to, I'm willing to be your hero. Even if I am just a simple man, wondering if the most amazing woman in the world loves me as much as I love her."
"Oh. My. God. Did you kiss him?"
"Shannon!"
"Sorry."
Kate leaned forward, answering him easily by placing her lips against his. Immediately, he froze, not quite believing that Kate was really kissing him, but as he relaxed into the kiss, his hands came to rest on her hips, and hers moved from his cheeks to around his neck. After a few moments, Jack moved to deepen the kiss, and she parted her lips, allowing him the access she craved, and his arms wrapped around her waist, bringing her body flush against his.
As Kate felt Jack's tongue against her own, she let out a gentle moan against his mouth when he found a particularly sensitive spot which made her feel weak at the knees. As he heard her moan, he slipped his hand underneath her shirt, caressing the bare skin of her back. His touch was warm against the gradually chilling air of the night, and she whimpered again against him.
When they parted finally for lack of air, breathing heavily with foreheads resting against each other and arms still holding each other tightly, Kate nodded. "I do." She whispered breathlessly, and Jack gave her a smile. "I do love you." She repeated, needing to say those words to both him and herself whilst she was in his arms.
"I love you too." He whispered back, lips grazing at her ear and causing her to shudder again - this time not from the cold.
They kissed again, and again, and again, until eventually, Kate's hands came to rest on the buttons off Jack's shirt. At this point, breathing heavily, she stopped.
"What's the matter?" Jack asked her kindly.
She gulped and then looked up at him. "Should we really be doing this?" She asked him. "I mean, I want to, but…we're on an island, Jack." She reminded him. "There are more consequences here than there are usually. Just once could change everything."
He knew that she was talking about the consequences involving a baby. Having Claire give birth had opened all of their eyes up to relationships with each other, and whilst that hadn't stopped some people, it certainly was always in the back of Kate's mind. He nodded. "I think I might be able to solve that one." He told her, and reached into his back pocket, showing her a small something from inside.
"Jack, where did you-"
"Stole it from Sawyer's stash." He told her before she even finished the question. "There's a few there, he won't miss it."
Kate smiled, and reached her hands up to Jack's neck, kissing him again. "So, where were we?" She asked playfully.
Jack laughed at her quick change of heart. "I think we were about here." He said, his hands going to her back and creeping up the bottom of her shirt, lifting it over her shoulders.
"OH MY GOD!"
"SHANNON! SHUT UP!"
Kate shook her head this time. "No, feel free to go 'oh my god', that's the end of the story." She told them with a laugh.
"What?" They all asked sadly.
"We don't get to hear about the rest of it?" Shannon asked in a distraught voice.
Kate giggled to herself, with a look that suggested she was very pleased with herself. "Nope." She said simply.
"Why not?"
"You wanted to know how we got together, not what happened when we got together." She pointed out, and popped another chocolate into her mouth. "One thing's for sure though," She mused, "It was defiantly special."
A/N: So how was that for a starting point? Hopefully it didn't suck too much. I just couldn't resist adding Shannon's comments in, because I was copy and pasting snippets into a conversation with EternalConfusion, and they were pretty much her comments on it, so I just had to put them in cause she's great. And yes - the "small something" from Jack's back pocket was a condom. Clearly these ran out/Sawyer caught them stealing after a while, because eventually they had Kaia, and then Curtis, and soon to be the twins.
