I'm SO sorry I took so long to update. Sophomore year is a lot harder than Freshman and there's a lot going on. I haven't had the time until I made it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Thanks to my reviewers! I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever!

Note: I cried the whole time I wrote this. Extreme angst.

Warning: Angst, slash.

After Rent: Our Story

Chapter nine: Icy Breath of Sorrow

MARK'S POV

"Hey Maureen, it's Mark. We're at the hospital Mimi was at. Can you guys come as soon as you get the message? Thanks." I put the phone back on the receiver and painfully close my eyes. 'God I wish Collins was here.'

It'd be easier with him here. He'd know how to calm my nerves, soothe my grief. I open my eyes and look into Roger's room, chocking down escaping sobs.

"Roger?" He's sitting on the bed looking out the window, back turned to the door. He looks weaker than when Mimi was admitted. I walk into his room and climb into bed with him.

"I don't want to die." He whispers, face turned away from me. I gently run my hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. He moans softly and turns his unshaven face towards me. His moon blue eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"I don't want to lose you." We pull each other closer, his dry lips on my neck, his warm breath ghosting over my earlobe. My lips are on his forehead. "I won't leave the room."

"Thank you." I know how much he hates hospitals.

LATER

"It's so hard. I don't know how Collins handled it." I tell Maureen when she and Joanne get to the hospital. Roger's asleep in my arms like a baby. He clings to my shirt like I cling to him, never wanting to let him go.

"I told him not to go the World Trade Center." She tells us softly.

"We never could have guessed." Joanne says, squeezing Maureen's hand. They had grown amazingly close over the past few years. I don't even think Maureen's cheated for at least four.

"He died nobly." I add, thinking back to the day. Collins had died helping some old man down the stairs. They actually found his body and we buried him next to Angel. "But I don't know what to do."

"Stay here with him, I guess." Joanne suggests. "Give him support."

"Like you always do." Maureen gives my hand a squeeze. "And remember we'll be available whenever possible, Mark. Call us and we'll come right away." She adds as they leave.

I turn back to Roger and wrap my arms around his stomach, lying him down on the bed and snuggling to his chest.

"My world will die without you." I whisper into his ear before falling asleep.

DAYS LATER

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry, Mark." He says after several seconds of silence.

"For what?"

"For ruining us."

"Roger-" I try but he cuts me off.

"We could have been together for so many more years." I wipe the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs.

"I'll always love you. Doesn't matter what happens." He kisses my cheek and pulls me to him weakly.

"I wish I could make love to you one last time." I smile sadly.

"I'll never forget any of our night together."

"It's not fair!" He cries suddenly, voice louder than it has been for days. "You're going to be living in the loft for years to come." We kiss softly. "You shouldn't be without someone."

"I'll never get with anyone else."

"You always told me to get on with life, but you won't?" His accusing tone is harsh, but he softens up when he sees my face.

"You had someone to be with, someone who always loved you. I don't have anyone to lean back on. I don't have anyone to be with, not like you always had. I'll stay alone."

"You'll never be alone. I'll be there. I'll watch you." I smile at his gentle words and the soft love that glows from them.

"I know you'll be there with me." I feel tears as my vision blurs and I fall into his arms.

"I'll never leave you, just like you never left me."

"It'll be hard in the loft." We had promised to not sell it, no matter what happened.

"I'll never see the loft again." I pull away.

"Oh, Roger."

"I'll never see my guitar, your camera, our bed, our loft." His voice breaks and he begins to cry. "Never again."

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Mark? Mark?" A harsh voice wakes me up along with a calloused hand. I open my eyes and sit up next to Roger.

"Roger?" His eyes are dim and he looks odd. "Roger?" My voice is frantic as I jump up and lean over him, my hand on his forehead and my other taking his hand.

"I...I love...you, Mark. I...always have...always will."

"Roger, don't go." My vision blurs again with hot wetness as I kiss his lips, pouring every emotion into the action. Passion, sadness, love, anger. He gently moves his lips with mine, before he stops. I pull away and look down into the eyes I fell in love with.

He whispers my name with a raspy breath, before I watch in horror as his eyes close and his grip on my hand loosens. "No. No! ROGER!" I cry out and the heart monitor flat lines. Slowly I back away to the corner's chair, sobs wracking my body. My eyes close and I wrap my arms around my body as the nurse rushes in.

Next thing I know she's shaking me. "Mr. Cohen? They're taking him away." I snap up and fall towards the bed. I run a hand through his hair before I kiss his cold lips for the last time.

"I love you, Roger." I watch them take his body away before I collapse onto his bed, tears streaming from my eyes.

'He's gone.' I think. 'He's gone.'