Hurt
Rated: T
Life Goes On
Chapter Summary: The next months are long and hard and it's apparent time does not heal all wounds.
Being back at the lair after the funeral was an adjustment for everyone.
Splinter didn't want to send out his sons back into doing patrol in horrible fear that he'd lose them too. It took at least a month before any of them dared venture out; not because they wanted to but they had an obligation to uphold. Innocent lives to protect and as much as they'd love to stay in the sewers and mope about their brother's death forever; each and every one of them knew that was the last thing Raphael would want.
At first, it was nearly impossible to figure out how to do any attack; their faith shaken and missing such a vital part of their team wasn't easy. Raphael prided himself on being first one in, last one out and now, they didn't have that anymore. They all ran in blindly and many a time, set off traps that had them escaping by the skin of their teeth. They'd go home, regroup, go out again, but nothing seemed to really work.
Everything felt off and even training never seemed out pan out anymore - they were literally uneven now…
The brother's persevered though, defeating enemies with new allies.
Slash, or Spike as Raphael used to so lovingly called him, reluctantly helped them as much as he could. Telling the large mutant his once-owner was gone wasn't easy; neither of them ever thought they'd witnessed the seemingly heartless Slash fall to his knees and cry over the loss of his once owner...
Leatherhead was saddened by their loss; spending time with Splinter to try and uplift his spirits in any way he could.
The mutanimals were helpful and tried to keep patrolling in the turtle's place when grief just didn't allow the brothers to function as a team much anymore.
Leo varied between the strength of an unmovable rock to falling apart like a house made of straw; held together by floss and thrown into the eye of a F5 tornado. His training the only thing keeping him sane for the time that followed since his brother's untimely death. He strove to make up for lost time; to take care of his family and protect them in Raphael's steed. The job was not one he wanted but needed to do; to honor his brother and make sure his family had their leader back.
It was a tormenting hell he had to live with but he made due…
Donatello seemed to be the most adjusted of his brothers. Getting far too little sleep to bury himself in work to keep his mind occupied. It fell apart whenever his eye would catch the red motorcycle in the corner of his one Raphael tirelessly worked on for months. A normal presence in his lap that Donatello took for granted far too often. In these moments, he would have done anything for five more minutes in quiet serenity; the only sounds of Raphael working on that very motorcycle…but now all he had was silence.
In those moments he saw it, those painful memories all just came flooding back.
Donnie hated to do so, but he covered it and placed it in the far corner of the garage behind some long lost projects. Out of sight, out of mind didn't help for long; there were still the days he find himself calling for Raph for help in one thing or another and he froze for a long moment. It was like ripping a scar off; the new found pain accompanying something you tried to forget about resurfacing took him by surprise most of the time. He cried then; harsh hot tears falling in the quiet of his lab but he made sure to hide them from his family at all costs.
Mikey was more or less the same since the night his brother died. Quiet; withdrawn and still struggled with maintaining his weight. Losing all taste for foods he used to love; gone were the days of him in the kitchen and cooking for hours on end. Days consisted of staying in Raphael's room; sleeping, crying, and staring at the wall or a blank television.
The charismatic happy nature had been snatched from him as if it wasn't there.
Everyone around him feared that it was gone for good…
April slowly adjusted. Skipping school for nearly two months set her back a lot and she had a hard time getting readjusted. There were days she'd break down in the middle of a lecture, running out of the room and not returning the rest of the day. All she told her teachers and peers was that she tragically lost one of her best friends and that seemed to be enough to appease them. Other than that, April withdrew in on herself; only speaking when spoken to and weekends that used to be filled with watching movies, playing video games, or having dinner with the turtles boiled down to her spending them alone in her room; sleeping or watching mindless television.
The one thing that kept April going was the promise she'd made to Raphael the night before they buried him.
Needing to keep it, she found herself once a week going shopping and taking the groceries to the turtles. Donnie or Splinter would readily thank her but if Mikey or Leo were there, they were more or less quiet and just gave a nod or hand gesture before she awkwardly left without another word. Everything had changed...and April wasn't sure how to deal with it.
Going home and falling apart in her room was now a norm; the physical weight of Raphael's loss a permanent strain on her chest.
Casey put his heart and soul into his new job in Boston.
His calls and texts to the turtles or April were rare but the important thing was that he was moving on probably the best out of all of them. At least that's what he wanted them to believe. For the only reason he didn't keep in more contact was that he was forced to remember; forced to confront the fact of everything and everyone he left behind back in New York.
Nevertheless, he went back to work.
Time passed.…
Hours
Days
Months…
April continued to be there for them as she struggled to pick up the pieces of her own shattered heart.
Splinter pushed back his own pain to watch over his sons; determined to keep them safe for he dared not lose another one.
Leonardo fought on; was even there when someone he still wasn't sure how to feel about, Karai, was mutated into part snake.
Donnie went about spending hours on the anti-mutagen to change her back; mostly just to keep his mind occupied.
Mikey barely cracked a smile when he met Renet.
There were a few times Mikey seemed to be improving. Barely smiling when April would later arrive with his new favorite snack, Fruit Roll-Ups, and he'd sit with his father and brothers to watch a movie.
It was these little moments that brought them together but simultaneously hit them all the hardest. One of their eyes looking toward their deceased brother's favorite beanbag gathering dust. None of them having the heart to put it away. Thinking about how he should be here. If they listened hard enough they could even picture him saying sardonic, sarcastic comments toward the movie they were watching...until they realized they were forgetting what exactly his voice sounded like.
A bitter pill to swallow to say the least. Life a jigsaw puzzle with a few pieces missing never to be completed or nothing to fill the holes in any of them. There was a space that festered and scarred over numerous times and it was apparent it wasn't going to change...
Life went on...but time did not seem to be healing these wounds...
