Hurt - Chapter 32
Rated: T
Adjustment
Chapter Summary: Who knew the most mundane things could trigger the most painful memories?
This are two very short one-shots I loved and needed to include but they didn't fit anywhere else so I thought I'd just include them here.
Splinter's hands shook slightly; tended in his paws were their chipped plates gathered from many times dumpster diving and found on the outskirts of recycling facilities. The early years of life Splinter recalled collecting all of them meticulously as they made a home for him and his sons in the lair. Necessities and little things he took for granted as a human seemed like glorious luxuries now. How hard it had been to find plates for his family and how gingerly him and his sons had to treat them to make sure they lasted.
Almost subconsciously, he began setting the table, movements swift and familiar as he set down a plate at each spot for himself and his sons.
"Um…Sensei?" Donatello spoke, breaking the ninjitsu master out of his reverie.
Splinter froze for a moment above the table and looked down... Out of seemingly nowhere, his heart shattered.
5 place-mats, 5 plates, and 5 cups...when there was only need for four of them anymore.
Chest tightening, Splinter looked longingly at what used to be Raphael's spot. There were obvious marks from where little Spike used to claw and bite at their wooden table or where Raphael would etch a bit of art into it with his sais when he was younger.
Yoshi recalled disciplining him for that particular instance and now...the thought of it caused intense pain for now, he would give anything to see him do it again...
"I'm sorry, Sensei." a seven-year-old Raph sniffled loudly, moving his arm across his snout before standing straighter yet still refused to meet Splinter's eyes. Small head bowed and tiny fists trembling as he stood across from his angry father who was still learning to deal with his hotheaded son.
Yoshi silently recalled that moment - desperately wishing he'd handled it differently.
Willing give anything to go back; to scoop that precious boy into his arms and hold him tight...and this time, never let him go...
"Oh. Sorry. Force of habit." Splinter quietly muttered; using his vast recesses of training to keep his emotions at bay.
Paws trembling as he picked up the extra items until Raph's spot remained completely bare. He didn't move immediately, his eyes looking over the barely visible etchings in the wood before he placed the extras back into the cupboard and drawers and left the kitchen without another word.
Donnie watched in stunned silence as Splinter left the room. The genius let out a languid sigh before glancing at his hands where the silverware was placed and ready to be laid out. 5 forks, 5 spoons, and 5 butter knives…
Freezing a bit upon realizing he'd made the exact same mistake his father did.
"Yeah...force of habit..." Donnie muttered, placing the excess silverware to the side before setting the rest of the table.
Leonardo swiftly ran across the rooftop; feet quickly skirting over the harsh material under his feet. The wind biting as he jumped and landed atop the next building with hardened precision. Body a mass of muscle, blood, and flesh honed from years of meticulous training; his mind sharpened to the finest tip much like his swords…
Emotions were another matter entirely.
Annoying little inklings of regret and pain were never far from the forefront of his mind. Pinpricks of light breaking through dark clouds and were agonizing enough to want to drag him to his knees at times.
Everywhere Leonardo went, he swore there was always a flash of red in his peripheral.
Today was no different.
His mind cloudy and pained as he ran; a quick patrol to clear his head and keep himself from spending his days moping. It was one of the few things that kept him in check; kept him from completely caving into grief. Allowed him to be there for his family…
Suddenly, Leo turned a corner and he swore he saw Raphael's shadow skirt through his vision. Instead of feeding into the image, Leo ignored it. Feet moving faster as he leapt from building to building; refusing for his head to budge to the left or right. Forcing his eyes to stay straight; to not feed into his own delusions. A sudden whooshing noise filled his ear to his right and Leo could ignore it no longer.
Shifting his head to stare at the sound, he froze in his tracks.
Raphael was perched on the building over; tattered red hails flickering sporadically in the breeze, illuminating green eyes staring straight through him. There was a calmness on his face - the barest hints of a genuine smile pulling at his wide mouth. One that was rarely glimpsed in life and it shook Leonardo to his very core…
The image of seeing his dead little brother now alive - skin a rich emerald instead of ashen, eyes bright and filled with life - had his heart thumping painfully in his chest; pounding hard against his sternum as he stared at him. The more logical side of him knew it simply wasn't possible - that Raphael was indeed dead - but it all seemed far too real…
Leo's tongue was frozen to the bottom of his mouth.
Eyes burning with un-shed tears as he stared into Raphael's eyes; desperation pulling at him to speak, to go over there and hug him. Hold him close to him; feel his brother's warm scales underneath his fingertips. To tell him he loved him and missed him; that every day since his death had been a nearly unbearable hell on earth…
…to beg and plead for him to stay…
But Leo's mouth refused to move.
The need to blink was great; he barely even noticed when his body did it of his own accord but the split second they closed was enough.
The second they reopened, Raphael was gone…
Leo's head snapped this way and that hoping to catch a glimpse; that those few moments would return. That he would see Raphael alive and well…that this all was just some sick joke…His red-banded brother would be there smiling, shove at his shoulder and say, "Heh. I gotcha good, Fearless."
…but it wasn't…
Before he'd realized exactly what happened, Leo's knees hit the pavement with a harsh thud. Body shaking uncontrollably as he was hit with the dreadful reality again. Leo shook his head; trying to force his body from the ultimate breakdown. Doing his damnedest to stop from crying…but it was too late.
Leo let out a sharp cry into the night air; tears that burned the back of his eyes began trailing down his cheeks as he buried his face into his sodden hands and wept.
"RAPHAEL!" Leonardo screamed as he clawed desperately at the ground and fell completely apart.
