I'm watching Life Size, a shit movie that they somehow got Tyra Banks to star in. Lindsay Lohan is a very bad child actor. I bet Shirley Temple is, like, spinning in her grave. Poor Shirley Temple. This is my parody of... All Lily and James fics. Because they basically all suck. Some of this, in true L/J fashion, doesn't make much sense...

Lily Evans cryed as her mother hit her, her father raped her, her sister yelled insults at her, and, hell, the milkman threw protractors at her. Indeed, Lily Evans was not a happy chappy, although, throught out the beatings she never recieved and face altering scars, or bruises, which would completely and utterly alter the outcome of the fanfic, as Lily can never, ever, ever be ugly.

She simply is a phsycotic bitch who has a mental break down every time in the presence of James Potter, who is madly and deeply in love with her. Lily Evans, however, was sure he just wanted to get in her pants (which he did. He was inadvertantly a cross-dresser).

So, as Lily Evans was beaten, raped, insulted, and subject to hurled protractors, it suddenly occured to her that she had to be ready to catch her train in an hour. With all common sense evading her, she ran like hell with her large trunk, which was filled with her various pet bricks, to London, some two hours away by cab.

But, do not forget that Lily Evan is the heroine, and therefore can never do anything wrong. So running faster than a speeding cab for an hour, she got to the platform with only two seconds to spare. She threw herself at the train and, clutching to it's side, sidled in through a convieniently open door as the train began to speed off.

With a somewhat undishevelled appearance, even though she had been raped, beaten, insulted, subject to hurling protractors, ran for an hour at twice the speed of a cab and threw herself onto a speeding train she searched for a compartment. The only one with one - count 'em - one empty space was the one full of the Marauders.

So Lily came in, and suddenly had the strongest urge to snog the boy she hated since her early preteens, senseless. So she did. And they got married because they got a bit too carried away while they were snogging and yeah... Baby Harry was conceived in the same compartment he would sit in eleven years later, eating on the same table his parents shagged on.

Which is really disgusting because he put all those chocolate frogs down on the table, remember?

I bet he ingested his parents shag juices. Gross.

XoX,

Trapped Rabbit

I wrote this in Religious Education class ... wrong, Aye? Well, I never do anything in it anyways.

Sigh.

Toodeloo my Poodleloos.