Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy.

Chapter 5: Guess How Many Fingers I Have? (A 'The Ringer' reference.)

Author's Note: OK, now that I have a minor grasp of the concept of 'thinking while writing' I finally have a bit of a grasp of what to write.

However, expect a bit of tasteless humour, innuendo, and eccentricity to pop up for no reason, and at the most unexpected or expected of times. Just to let you nay-sayers know. ;)

I firmly believe that should please almost everyone. Note the word 'almost.' Only Louis Armstrong can please everyone. Because his last name is Armstrong.

And also, updates may be a little off, as this is updated at a "whenever I really feel like writing and got some inspiration from a nightmare about NES games" basis.

Today's Chapter shall be dedicated to Katmillia. Due to the KainxRydia fics that I like. And also, this will be dedicated to Konamiman. Because he's so coull. (People who've played Goonies 2 and Wai Wai World should know who he is. And how coull he is. His "I'm not gonna heal you because you hit me!" quote will go down in history as the coullest quote ever.)

And also, for Kamikaze Watermelon from a demented cartoon. I am a fan, and I would like to also kamikaze someday, and explode as well. :3

Also, for those unsure, EVERY SINGLE THING that has happened in the previous chapters can and will be regarded as canon in this story. Yep, even the trysts and orgies from when I was still in 'experimenting' mode. However, the good news is that there will be a bit a turn for the 'better'.

And for those confused, Sora in this story is NOT from Kingdom Hearts, (though I like that game, even though I don't owns it.) but is a split personality complex Rosa has.
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Tonight, in the Dev. Room!

July 16, 2006.

07/16/06

The male devs are looking up porno and smut on the computer. They are complimenting on the great literature and excellent illustrations. The female devs are talking about girl stuff, and having a burping contest, at that. I am watching TV, and Anna is making ramen.

As I wait anxiously for the Futurama/Family guy hour at midnight, Sons of Butcher has gone on TV, as I live in Canada, and S.O.B. is the equivalent of everything overrated on your TVs. Of course, this likely assumes y'all in the USA. And that S.O.B. airs in a very inconvenient hour, or is a Canada-only show. Because most people on the 'net come from USA. Or at least that's what Taboo: The Sixth Sense taught me via an emulator.

Note to Self: Always trust a time machine made in 1988 that tells your fortune, and travels through time simultaneously. And envy the country that bans that show.

Anyway, I cry out, "Oh no! Sons of Butcher is on! Give me suggestions on how to eliminate this threat!"

And then one of our dev. Team, who looks remarkably like Zangief, offers his best line. Ever.

"Quick! Change the channel!"

Then, Anna interjected with, "Nah, I've got a lazier idea."

Ultimately, we ended up blowing up the TV. We have to buy a new one, but we have to do that tomorrow. Saad.

Anyway, we got the Cecil-igos ready for packaging. We're asking the Mach Pizza guys to deliver them. If they've got a mean streak with delivering pizza 'fast,' then they should have no trouble with 3 androids.
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Meanwhile, in the land of Kaipo!

Cecil woke up in his bed that he had for the night. It was so refreshing to finally nap for a good long while. He barely got any sleep since the night before, when Edward attempted to give Cecil 'his lesson.' Cecil barely escaped violated that night, but we made sure that an event like that wouldn't happen again. (Of course, that's what commercial breaks are for.)

However, Cecil's night was a very rude one. Rydia kept on dreaming of that "STUPID BUT STRANGELY ALLURING DRAGON-MAN," and Edward was busy looking at Cecil. No, I take that back. STARING… at Cecil. Plus, Cecil played Suito Homu on the house's Famicom late that night, and freaked out around the last maze when he faced off against the hideous visages of the photo squad. Thank god for that power outage, due to the town having no electricity. Rosa was the only one who slept even remotely normally, and had developed an affinity for sneezing a lot between Chapters 4 and 5. Her personalities were changing every sneeze, and had an immense argument which lasted the entire night.

But Cecil at least slept, and that was the important thing. Even though it only started after Edward got tired of ogling Cecil, and when Rosa stopped her infernal yapping. So that left about 10 minutes. Oh well. A little bit of sleep is better than no sleep at all.

The group packed up, and set off to 'That mountain, what is it called? It's Mount Hobs.'


As soon as they arrived, Rosa asked if their team had any Fire-spell, or something along those lines.

"Does any of you have a Fire spell, or something along those lines"
"Come on! Any of ya gots one?"

Cecil and Edward shook their heads like idiots, but Rydia was crying her eyes out.

Rosa's 'nice' side kicked in, and she naturally asked, "What's is wrong, Rydia?"

And Rydia, being the loud, annoying hatemonger she speaks like, said in an obnoxious tone,

"NO I HATE THE WATER, MUMMY. EGON SPRINKLES HATE THE WATER, MUMMIKINS."

"It's Fire."

"IT'S PHIRE? IT'S MINE!"

And so, with just that little bit of inspiration, Rydia set to firing the ice off the entrance to Mount Hobs.

"PK PHIRE!"

And with that, Rydia unleashed her PK powers, as that's the type of power that was granted to her for some weird raisin.

"Eeyay!" shouted everybody. They wanted to sound like Gabby Jay from Super Punchout. Which is really quite retarded, if you were to ask me.


And so, the team continued up the mountain, fighting Kamikaze Bombs,

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Bomb crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

Muffins for those who can guess the reference. Anyway, they also fought, oddly enough, and from a different time period and universe, Kamikaze Watermelons.

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Watermelon crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

And uh…. Kamikaze… Zombies.

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Zombie crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

As you can see, Mount Hobs is a very explosive place.
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The group soon reached to top of the mountain, which was called 'Station 7.' I don't know why they don't understand that Mount Hobs and co-op camps are two different places, but I digress. On the top of the hill, they see a Karate Master annoying a giant Mother Kamikaze Watermelon. Their conversation goes something like this.

"Hi my name's Yang. Guess how many fingers I have."

"…"

"Wrong! I have 8 fingers….. drools…. And 2 thumbs! Hahahahahaha!"

Fireworks for those who can find the reference. The Mother Kamikaze Watermelon decided to do kamikaze, and charged ahead of Yang.

"Wheeeeee!"

It hit the Mach Pizza airplane where the 3 other Cecil-igos for Frieda were being delivered, and they fell into the Chocobo forest...


About a few minutes later, the three Cecil-igos came to, by being licked in the face, puppy dog style, by the Chocobos. They then engaged in long conversation.

1st one: "Weee!" (Did you see what hit us?)

2nd one: "Whoo!" (Looked like a Kamikaze Watermelon.)

Duu-duu-duu-du-du-duu!

Kamikaze Watermelon crashes into the wall.

"Wheeeeee!"

explodes.

The third one said it was pointless, but liked the watermelon, but in the very small language of the Cecil-igos, it came out as,

"W00t! Pwnage! Lol!"

The three Cecil-igos then continued their adventure by leaving the god-forsaken Chocobo forest with watermelon residue. Dancing the tango, while they're at it, I say!


Meanwhile, at Mount Hobs…

Real Cecil and co. are meeting the weird karate man who has 8 fingers and 2 thumbs. Everyone has to have 10 fingers, I say! Or do we really have 8 fingers? Come to think of it, how did we get fingers? But I guess I'll bore you all off another time, you already know I've got problems.

Anyhoo, Cecil started off their conversation with Yangy-man with this,

"Wait! We have 10 fingers!"

But Yangy-o replied with,

"Nope…! It's… 8 fingers! Even count!"

"Okay! 1, 2, 3, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." (A la the King of Siam, I say!)

Rosa, Rydia and the rest looked on in speculation, as each commented on their own.

Rosa first said up, "I think those two are going to be good pals for a long while."

Rydia then added, "IT'S HIGH TIME FOR THE SPOTLITE!"

Edward then swooned, with a breathless "LAND SAKES!" and crooned about not only having 1 muscly male on the squad, but 2! He could just die…


Hi-munk Yangy hast join-ned the purty! His Intellect isn't so hot, but who needs Intellect when you have Craws! Er… Claws! And mussels!

Rydia then popped up for a final yelling session.:1

"WHERE BE THE BLUE MAN! I WANNA THE BLUE MAN!"

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A-ha! I've added a sub-plot! An interesting one, at that, I say!

What will Cecil and co. do in Fabul? A mystic city I didn't mention in the main fic due to my abysmal laziness?
Will the Blue Man return for Rydia?
Is it just me, or is Rosa gaining control over her emotions?
Will our developers stop being such lazy jackasses and start with the programming?
Will Edward ever find true love?
Will the Three More Cecil-igos find their way to Frieda Right's house?
Will Sons of Butcher start making good episodes without more tastelessness than my failed attempts of writing?
Will Suito Homu stop giving all of us nightmares from those 8-bit zombies and clones?

Find out these answers (And a whole lot of extra crap!) in the next issues of

ZEROMUS BUSTERS!1

P.S. It took me three days to write this. And about a good long while to come up with everything, as well as making stuff along. SO BE DAYAM GRACEFUL! Rydia will say, she will.

And as you can plainly see, I'm completely unafraid of commenting on Canadian TV in public. :3