Chapter 6. The Long, Boring Battles.
Note: I apologize for the delay, but I only write when I get some inspiration, and when I have time. And let me tell you, trying to add more material to an already boring but quick-to-the-point scene is hard! Very hard! So be grateful I'm working my hardest at writing! Also, I have a life as well. There's Gamefaqs boards to post on, things to do, and Youtubes to watch. Plus, I'm working on another RPG as well, (Pokemon FireRed, to the exact.) and have less time to update. So be patient for the future, kupo?
Today's Chapter shall be dedicated to Daniel Weasly Rydell. Hmm. Sounds like a Potterfreak. I can just tell from the 'Weasly', and the 'Daniel.' Was there a character named Daniel in Harry Potter?
Today's Chapter shall also be dedicated to those people at the FFIV Advance boards at GameFaqs. Thank you all for helping me with my only reference for this forgotten gem! (The 'current gem' spots were taken from FFVII onwards. Boo Cloud! Yay Cecil!")
No one hate me.
Disclaimer: FF4 not mine.
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Tonight, in the dev. Room!
We are watching a few J-Horror movies right now. Except me. I prefer to be lazy while the others are watching The Ring. I'm reading the reviews you kind people have wasted your life writing.
"And I, with my ungodly powers, as the ALMIGHTY AUTHOR, shall bless the world with a new chapter! That's tasteless, but not too tasteless!"
thinks for a moment
"And spunky!"
And so thus, I press 'Fast-Forward' to skip that boring part before and around when the team gets to Fabul. As it's boring, uninspired, and doesn't really get to the gewd stuff.
Cecil: "We're back, Paisanos"
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Cecil and company were finally done exploring Fabul, which was by far the biggest city in the world, even if it just was a castle where the citizens lived in towers similar to apartments, only there was no privacy, as people could go up and down floors as they liked and could see the monks when they're on their break time. A miserable existence, eh?
Then, they arrived at the armour and weapon store. They, rather, sold NO armour, and a lacking amount of weapons. Fortunately, the clerk allowed Cecil to take the armour that was on display.
And finally, the stores. They sold nothing necessary, like food, drink, and toiletries, but just boring old crap like Potions and Pheonix Downs. Ultimately, no one decided to buy anything. They didn't even have at the very least… Clothes? How embarrassing that Fabul, despite its godly power, is essentially a colony of nudists in a primative setting.
Yang learned from his wife, Kagura, (Get a w00p for guessing the indirect reference.) that King Burger King wanted Yang's assistance, since he was their best fighter. Sad.
So, they went to King Burger King's throne room. Yang talked to his master.
"Hay I work at burger king."
(murderous breathing)
"Ya want fries with that?"
(murderous breathing)
Edward came up to speak with the King as well.
"Excuse me, my liege. Are you saying that we should guard Fabul from the invasion, which is indirectly what Yang said?"
(murderous breathing)
"Very well. We shall start our attack, or rather, defensive measures. Come my friends! We shall meet in the barracks for a strategy meeting now!"
Edward led Cecil and Yang to the barracks, but was stopped by Rosa. Or rather, she sneezed and turned evil again.
"Oh no ya don't! Cecil isn't falling for that again!"
Rydia joined the protest.
"I AM EGON SPRINKLES! I AM EGON SPRINKLES!"
Then, Edward gave up, but not before crying, and telling Rosa and Rydia and Yang and the rest that 'they don't understand!' and 'It's perfectly okay to be different!' before crying to his room and eating a huge bowl a peanuts.
…
I'm gonna make him allergic to peanuts.
So that he dies.
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Cecil and Yang set up at Fabul's front, preparing for attack. The forces from Baron started to charge at the front of the castle, and Cecil, Yang, and the other incompetent monks prepared to defend it.
Battle Scene Nao!
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Cecil and Yang started their desperate fight against the Baron soldiers. Cecil ran away.
"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Cecil screamed, as he wrecked another good chunk of Fabul's walls.
"YANG! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!"
However, Yang failed to heed this warning, and fought the Soldiers by himself. It was easier that way.
Yang then fought the other creatures by himself, but it seemed there was an infinite amount. He had to retreat to the Crystal room, where Cecil was keeping shelter, and where Edward was crying.
The Blue Dragoon came into the Crystal Room.
"Salutations."
Cecil came up.
"KYNE! Oh, I'm so glad to see you again! Yang was the only one fighting so far, and we were losing."
"Ready your swored."
"Isn't the W silent"
"Ready your swored, fool!"
Battle scene nao!
-
Kain jumped. Cecil took damage of 130!
"Kyne… why are you doing this? You always didn't hold back on those other times!"
Kain, taking this as an invitation to actually kill Cecil. Which was something he couldn't do at Baron, due to the inventions of 'laws', and such. So he jumped.
Cecil took damage of 4560! Cecil died! Cecil paid 1750 gil as a reward!
Cecil whited out!
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Cecil fell in pain.
"Why are ye doing this"
Then, a blue coloured wizard in a suit and purple dungarees came into the room.
Now, I haven't done a background music since Chapter 3, so we're having it be…. Uh…. Sk8r Boi. Bad for me, good for Lavigne fans, bad for everyone else. (Make that bad for everyone except 7 people.)
"Hello!" (Hello! Hello! Hello! Echos!)
Cecil was barely hanging onto life.
"Who are you?"
The wizard chuckled.
And I decided the music was far too torturous for you readers to endure. But, since I'm a vengeful Almighty Author, and the song is about twice as evil, it's staying.
"I am the dark wizard… GOLBEZ!"
"Sounds like a name ripped from the Addams family."
"SHUT UP!"
Edward and Yang stood up. Were they standing up before? I don't remember.
"Stop!" They both yelled, simultaneously.
"Shut up, dotards!"
And with that, the Dark Addams Family Fan, Golbez, fired an electric bolt at the Yangmeister, and the odd singer, and knocked both unconscious. Much to Edward's complaint, they were not together when they fell. Yang fell to the left, Eddy to the right.
"Kyne, get the Crystal, before we miss today's King Koopa's Krazy Kartoons again! Today, we're getting some fresh from 1931 today! And you know what happens if we miss them..."
Kain remembered what happened.
Flashbaque nao!
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In the flashback, Golbez is beating Kain up in the locker rooms.
SMASH. SMASH. SMASH.
Golbez's punches were quite painful, and he forced Kain to sit through such televised abortions, like Tru Confessions, which Kyne hated due to a lack of a title, and its incest overtones.
Golbez watched Kain watch a scene from the movie, in which Tru shows how much she loves her sibling by staring at him. Golbez was shouting.
"You love your siblings! You love your siblings!"
And Kain retorted with,
"No I do not! Ow! Stop it"
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Anyway, as Kain remembered his ordeal, and the ordeal of the two new additions, he heard the voice of his hopefully, future slave and/or harem girl.
"Stop!" Rosa yelled. Then, she sneezed.
"Be quiet! Don'tcha wanna get caught?"
Rydia just stared. Her Blue Man had returned for her! She ran up to him.
"BULE MAN!"
Kain just had to look at Rosa, and kick the snivelling Rydia away. Rydia then continued to snivel.
"ROSA! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO DO THIS!" Cecil burst out.
Golbez noticed the girl. "So, this wench is of value to you? How much?"
Cecil was quick to make a bargain. "Fifty dollars."
"Deal."
Golbez took Rosa away, completely 'forgetting' about the fifty dollars. Rosa simply sneezed and yelled for the brainless slobs that she called a team to help her.
"(ah) HELP!"
The brainless slobs that she called a team just stared into space.
After a few minutes, Cecil finally realized Rosa was gone. The team cried, and went to the inn to cry out their sorrows and rest from the fight. Yang offered to give the team a floating boat for tomorrow, (However, he pronounced it 'but.') that made the team happy.
Anyway, after getting a sword from King Burger King, the team went on aforementioned boat. There were a few stowaways, though.
About a good hour or so before Cecil and co. went onto the sailing device, the three Cecil-igoes smuggled on and hid in the brig. They then engaged in a strategy talking.
"Woohoo!" Cecil-igo numero uno said. He was asking what could be done.
"Wee-oh! Wee-oh!" The second one said. He meant, "I dunno."
The third one tried to come up with a plan, but since he spoke in leet speak, which normal Cecil-igoes don't understand. He actually meant that they could try to take a plane over to Frieda's house, but it only came out as,
"LOL!1!one!11"
An hour after the Cecil-igoes hid, the real Cecil, the real Rydia, and the rest came on as well. After a few offensive tones of English accent, the boat went on to sail in the sea! Yay!
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Hmm. I've left it here. As you can see, the Cecil-igoes are continuing their journey. And so are the real party.
I have not much else to say. Other than I hate Shia Laboeuf. I also hate Avril Lavigne. And there's nothing you can do about it.
