Zeromus Busters. By Partially Crazy.

Chapter 8: Killing ensues much.

Today's chappy is dedicated to Driftwood425. He was the one who made this fic famous in the FFIV Advance boards, anyway.

NOTE: Scarmiglone shall be female.

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Cecil eventually managed to wake up in the Mysidian beaches. His eyes felt like they were taped shut and his stomach felt that there was a party in it and everyone was throwing up. He had this indistinct urge to call everyone on the Blue Planet 'big fat idiots.'

But he didn't. Rather, he woke up, and found the Ceci-igos, staring at him, like he was their god or something. Cecil, having a normal childlike brain, screamed and ran off.

Cecil eventually ended up at a town filled with Black Mages and White Mages. They were all angry at him.

"How about I turn you into a toad for being mean!" "TOAD!"

"How about I give you an alluring dance, huh, sweetums?" "PIG!"

"Here, have a drink." "GAG!" "Ah-haha! The drink was filled with poison! Die, you STUUPID and GULLABLE KNIGHT!"

Cecil, scared, runs into the Mysidian City Hall area place. Which is at the center of town.

Now, it's been a while since I've had background music now. Today, it's 'Akachan wa Dokokara Kuruno' since Rub Rabbits have made that song vely addicting.. Plus, it would be good in the following montage, que?

Cecil talks to elder. They talk of stuff involving justice, etc. Elder calls in the two mages. Music shall abruptly stop. Where do babies come from?

"Palm! Porm!"

Porom burst into the room.

"What is this about pixelated women than you wanted me to see…?"

Elder started his talks.

"Bring in Palom. Where he go, Saddler?"

"Probably gone off to kill some kamikaze bombs…"

Duu-duu-duu-duu-DUU!

"Whee!"

(explodes)

"…again."

Then, Jim the Explorer popped in for no reason.

"I'm Jim the Explorer!"

Crickets: PEEP! PEEP!

Everyone just stared for a few minutes before the Elder finally stopped the unexpected cameo.

"Get out. This is for Squeenix, not Sunsoft. Besides, you already appeared earlier in the story, in your own game."

"Okay."

Jim then threw dynamite into Porom's room, making a door appear, that he went through, going to AREA 67.

Elder then started conversation again.

"Palm! Appear, or I'll call on Saddler again."

"My name is POROM. Not Saddler!"

Their crys were met with the casting of a smook spell.

"Haha! It is me! Palom! The best mage of the three!"

After getting bearings straight, Cecil, and the two mages started on their quest for great justice. Take off every zig! Their Mystery Adventure Start…
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The three eventually made it to Mount Ordeals. Or, Mt. Orjels. They were surrounded by a wall of fire. A WALL OF FIRE, DAMMIT! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

Porom then tried to think of something, but it got cut off by incessant whining.

"Oh my gawd! How are we gonna get through this wall of phire?"

Palom then actually thought of something. Porom then became incessantly whiny, so he made a smart remark to her.

"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on."

"Of course I'm keeping my pants on! Are you incest or something?"

"Ya wanna go there?"

"STOP!" A booming voice shouted. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO TO SUCH CONTREVERSAL DUDES?"

Palom was unafraid. "What?"

The Almighty Author then replied, nonchalantly, "We kill them. So don't be any stupid!"

Palom got the message, cast Blizzard on the phire wall, and continued up the mount without a peep.
-
Meanwhile, in the Golbez Lair-House-esque-thingy

Golbez is watching Cecil's trek through the mountain, along with his equally incompetent comrades.

"Mufufufu… Cecil will never be alive with his poor choice of comrades. Scarmiglone! Come For!"

The lord of the death came into the room.

"Nyesssss ssssssirrrr… Whaaaat doya waaaant…"

"Kill Cecil and bring me his head!"

"Nyesssss ssssssirrr…"

Scarmiglone disappeared. Conversation ends there.
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Cecil and pals continued to plod up the hill. They went through the first mountain door, and guess who they saw…?

Oh no! It was Tellah!

"Oh no!" Cecil screamed.

"Oh no!" The Twin Mages screamed.

"Oh no!" the reviewers screamed.

"QUICK! SOMETHING IS TO BE DONE!" The Almighty Author floated down from his omniscience and quickly attacked Tellah, replacing him with a better, new and improved one.

"AND I DUE THEE, TELLAH, 90210!"

The Almighty Author left his presence from Mount Ordeals, and the group inched closer to the newer version of Tellah. He looked just like his old self.

"Well! Come on! Golbez isn't just gonna up and kill himself."

Palom then asked a stupid question on who Golbez was, Porom scolded him, and the adventure continued.
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Cecil and co. went through the next mountain door, picking up 2 Ethers. FTW.

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Then, the gang went to the top of the mountain. They then heard this weird humming noise.

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

Porom was quick to accuse.

"Palom!"

"Sorry."

Then, the noise happened again.

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

"Palom!"

"Sorry."

And again!

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…"

"Palom!"

"It's not me this time!"

And Palom was right. Just as they finished the conversation, a hooded thing popped out in front of them!

"Sssssssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… I am to be of the killing of you all. Hand your cash in to me, then give lady for mine to whet my want for such…"

Porom then pushed her way to the front.

"No! I'll never be a slave to you! Peh!" she spit.

"O..kee…. How about you give me the night…. I'll tell Golbezzz not to kill himmmm… He shall be my…. Concubine…..

Cecil was shocked.

"I am most certainly not of the liking of undead ladies."

"Then you die-eeng shall be of suckinesssss…."

Battle scene nao!
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Scarmilgone was surrounded by 4 Revenants. Palom and Porom cast Twin, and Tellah with Cecil went offensive. Tellah cast Fire repeatedly on the enemies, and Cecil did some dirty sword-dancing with Scarmy. In the end, though, she was killed before Twin was cast, even.
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Cecil and his friends were really confident after that battle. They started to walk across the bridge again.

"CECIL!"

Cecil stopped to look at the Almighty Author. "What?"

"It's a traa….! (Static)"

Cecil simply shrugged it off. "Must have meant a track place here."

They continued across the bridge, until they sensed an evil presence behind them.

"Cecil! How dare you lack the desire to wine and dine with me! For that, you shall PAY!"

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I apologize profusely for the long delay. I only got my last ideas today. Anyway, this should hold you guys off until I release CHAPTER 9: BRAINS OVER BRAWNS. Toodels!