Arthur throws down his pen with frustration. The more he tries to distract himself with his work, the more he can't focus. Matthew's words keep floating around in his mind.
"Won't you come visit Papa? He's not doing well."
There was an undertone of fear in Matthew's voice that Arthur had ignored the first time, but now he can't stop thinking about it. Mathew had looked upset too. It wasn't like Mathew to come down to Arthur's just to pressure him. Mathew does tend to be the type to get an idea in his head and act on it, and isn't easily persuaded, but even so, this sort of action is aggressive for him.
"Mattie is asking for help!"
Alfred's rebuke plays over in his head, and Arthur suddenly feels like something might be wrong. Mathew isn't the type to ask for help. Maybe it comes from having a brother as loud and demanding as Alfred, or maybe he'd simply wanted to be praised for a job well done, but even as a child Mathew usually tried to solve things on his own instead of asking for help.
Or maybe, Arthur reflects, he'd never really learned to depend on his busy parents. Maybe he thinks he can't depend on Arthur. That thought makes his stomach sink as he realizes what he's done. Mathew had come to Arthur to ask for help, and Arthur had refused.
"Dad, please! I don't know what to do! I... I need you."
Mathew had sounded close to tears when he'd spoken. Arthur had been too angry at the thought of Francis to care. Now, he wishes he had. His heart begins to speed up.
Something is wrong.
Mathew asked him for help.
Arthur had refused.
Arthur suddenly remembers multiple times this happened before, even when Mathew was a child. He thinks that he's reason that Mathew doesn't think he can ask for help. He thinks he's a terrible father. Before Arthur can drown himself in his own self-loathing, there's a knock at the door.
It's Alfred, and he lets himself in without waiting for Arthur's approval. He doesn't wait for Arthur to acknowledge him before he starts speaking.
"Dad, I think we should go see Papa."
Alfred has a firmness in his voice that suggests he isn't making a suggestion. Arthur didn't miss the "we" in the statement either. He knows what Alfred is saying and the implications if he should refuse without Alfred saying them aloud.
"Come with me to see Dad, or I'll go alone."
Arthur adds another ultimatum on the end of the hidden message.
"And I might not come back."
There's a thousand thoughts in Arthur's head, and more than too many emotions in his heart, and he picks out three thoughts to help him decide what to do.
Alfred and Mathew want me to see Francis.
Something is wrong.
I'm worried about that idiot.
Arthur stands up and reaches into his desk drawer for his passport.
"Well then, let's go."
Alfred breaks into a beam, true and bright, and his eyes light up like he's found his hero again. Arthur scowls. He doesn't want to see Francis. He doesn't want to get hurt. He doesn't want Francis to be hurt. He does want to see Francis, just a little. He tsks at his own thoughts as Alfred books tickets.
He does still love that wanker after all, even if he wants to deny it.
