He woke up the next morning, after a good two or three hours of sleep. After she'd left he'd ended up sitting on the couch in a daze for a good hour, just thinking. When he realized sleep was going to be hard to come by he'd gone back down to the basement to try to continue working on the boat. He'd taken one look at the unfinished letters of his dead daughter's name and realized he couldn't bring himself to work on it.

He was going to have a kid again.

It hit him hard the more he realized what that meant. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he and Jenny were going to be parents together. He would have never seen it coming. Maybe years ago when they were in an actual relationship. He had wondered if she hadn't left him what would have happened. Would they have gotten married? Had any kids? Or would they have fizzled out no matter what?

He had felt his bitter, angry feelings rise up again towards her as he thought about it.

And when he was done seeping in bitterness, a realization hit him hard—it all didn't matter now. Whether he or she liked it or not, she was now pregnant. Unless something happened to change that, she was going to give birth to a baby—their baby.

His feelings for her had been so up and down and confusing ever since he'd left for Mexico. No—ever since she'd come on as Director. Before that, he'd just been angry and bitter for six years, hoping he'd never see her again. But then she had turned and faced him, and the minute she'd said "Hello, Jethro", he'd been hooked again. Seeing her, hearing her, being near her. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed her until then.

They'd been so hot and cold ever since that he never was sure what to think. In the past six months alone, he'd gone from thinking about her all the time in Mexico, to crossing the physical boundary and being confused, to trying to hate her and move on.

He never imagined he would be a parent again. He'd refused to have kids with his ex-wives, and made it clear before he married any of them that he never wanted any. He didn't want to chance ever burying another child of his ever again—he knew he wouldn't make it out alive a second time.

This time, he was 23 years older than he was when Kelly was born. He couldn't believe Jenny had gotten pregnant. It would have made sense back in the Paris days…but now?

He'd finally gone back up to the couch and gotten some shut-eye, knowing it was going to be light soon and he'd have to get up for work again. He'd found the little sleep he did get disturbed by thoughts of his little girl, his Kelly, laughing and playing, alive again.

The first thing he did when he made it to the office was march up to her office, only to find out she was busy in MTAC. He'd gone back down to the bullpen to go over things with his team, before heading stubbornly back up to MTAC. He'd found himself locked out, needing to wait to be buzzed in. He couldn't help but wonder if she was avoiding him now. When the door unlocked and let him in he shook his head.

"Change the locks on me?" he asked as he headed towards the redhead.

"Threat level orange, remember? We're on lockdown."

He glanced at the MTAC screen curiously before turning back to her.

"We gotta talk," he said.

She glanced over at the techs before looking at him.

"Not now," she whispered. "Not while we're in the office."

"Jen."

"Jethro, no. It has to wait until after work. Or at least when we're alone in my office."

He grit his teeth.

"Do you have any good news for me on your case?" she asked, changing the subject.

"All I've got is 300 wasted man-hours. We're lookin' in the wrong direction."

"Well, I might be able to point you in the right one. Danielle?"

He looked up to the screen as pictures came up. She held out a folder to him.

"This just came from the CIA regarding the golf course bombing."

"A suspected homegrown terrorist cell?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he headed to the screen to get a closer look. "Suspected? By who?"

"A CIA informant," she answered, standing up to go stand beside him.

"Why are we just hearing about this now?" he asked, raising his voice as he threw his arms out.

"Unfortunately, probably the same reason why we didn't hear about those flying lessons until after 9/11. I've informed Army CID as well. Colonel Mann will meet you on-site."

He looked away in annoyance, not sure he was up to all this. The woman standing beside him was pregnant with his kid, he'd had barely any sleep, and now he had to face the woman who he'd been contemplating sleeping with. Joy.

"Hey," she said softly, reaching out a hand and grasping his arm. She lowered her voice even more so they couldn't be heard. "If you come by my office later tonight, we can talk."

He let out a breath and looked at her, giving a nod before he charged off to get his team and go.


When he'd returned from Sharif's store with Hollis he left her talking in the bullpen with his team and ran out to get some food. He'd been distracted all day.

He hadn't been able to completely refrain from acting like he had been with Hollis. He would find himself almost flirting with her, only to remember why he probably shouldn't. He wasn't even sure what he and Jenny were now. Did this pregnancy automatically put them in a relationship? Or did she not want to be in one anyway? What the hell were they? They may have slept together a couple months ago and gotten a pregnancy out of it, but they'd been cold ever since.

He held the big bag with Chinese in one arm and balanced the two coffees in his other hand as he went back into the bullpen. He realized three coffees would have been better, but he only had so many hands. She always stole his when she was desperate anyways.

Hollis was looking at the screen by his desk, while Ziva and McGee were both asleep at their desks. DiNozzo was nowhere to be seen, probably clowning around in Abby's lab.

"When did you leave?" she asked as he came in. He just smirked and put the stuff down on his desk. He handed one of the coffees to her and dug out the food he had gotten for her and deposited it on the desk. He picked the bag with the rest of the stuff up and grabbed his coffee, noticing her raise an eyebrow at him as she sat down by his desk.

"I'm confused," she said.

"Got ya some food, since you're stayin' to help."

"I got that," she said with a chuckle. "Are you eating elsewhere?"

He gave a silent nod in reply.

"Oh," she said, disappointment tinging her voice. "Well, thank you, for the food."

"No problem," he said, turning around to leave, feeling a bit like a bastard. "If McGee snores you're welcome to smack 'im on the back of the head," he called behind him. He started up the stairs, feeling Hollis's eyes on him as he headed into Jenny's office.

He moved the bag more into the crook of his arm to grab the cup of coffee with the same hand, so he could have a free hand to open the door. As soon as he entered her office he felt her eyes follow him as he walked over to her couch. He deposited the food down on the coffee table and took all the takeout containers out of the bag.

"It's been a while since you've come into my office with food," she said, smiling as she stood up to go over to him. He'd done it twice before, early this year. She'd thought then that they may be brewing something again. But then things cooled down. She was taken hostage, and he'd been in his coma shortly after. Then he left.

Timing never had been their strong suit.

"Is this meal going to cost me anything?" she joked, remembering the favors the other meals came with.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, I expect sex," he answered sarcastically. Of course it wasn't going to cost her anything. Women were so dramatic.

She raised an eyebrow. "It's dangerous to joke around about things that you don't mean with someone as hormonal as me. I may have taken you up on that."

He froze, the look on his face was priceless. She smirked at him. It had been so long since they'd had flirty, calm banter.

He couldn't help but notice the way her gray sweater vest hugged her breasts, feeling like they may have gotten bigger. He could see a slight amount of cleavage from the unbuttoned buttons of her white dress shirt underneath. He was starting to wish he hadn't mentioned sex, because suddenly he found himself only thinking about sex with her. It had been two months, after all, and that last time had reminded him just what they'd been missing since Paris. He felt like he'd been going through some sort of withdrawal period since.

"So, you wanted to talk?" she asked, opening up the cartons of food to see what he'd brought.

He tore his eyes away and cleared his throat, grabbing the chopsticks and handing her a pair before he broke his apart.

"We got things to figure out," he said.

"Things?"

He stared at her in disbelief, motioning to her stomach.

She scoffed. "It's not like it's happening tomorrow. We have months to figure things out." She took a bite of food, completely disinterested in the topic.

"Still got stuff," he said in annoyance, grabbing a carton to eat.

"All right. Like what?" she asked as she chewed.

He shrugged, not really wanting to voice his main question. He hated having these kinds of conversations. It wasn't one he had planned to have with her. He thought they were done for good ages ago.

She glared at the way he just shrugged. Leave it to him to come in here to talk and then not actually talk. They ate in silence for a minute before she couldn't take it anymore.

"Spit it out before it chokes you."

He felt annoyed by the tone of her voice, shoving away his actual question and turning to something else that had been bothering him instead.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?" he demanded.

Her eyes widened at his sudden change in demeanor, and she scoffed.

"That's what you want to talk about so badly? It doesn't even matter."

"The hell it doesn't," he snapped.

"It was three weeks, Jethro! What difference does three weeks make?"

"Three weeks I coulda known and wrapped my head around it."

"I'm the one who needed those three weeks," she snapped back. "I needed time to think. I had to figure out what was best for me."

"Yeah, best for you," he snorted, looking away. "Always 'bout you."

He realized how low cutting his words were, especially when he looked back at her stricken face.

"Thank you for the thrilling conversation, Agent Gibbs," she said, putting her food down and standing up, looking anywhere but at him. She couldn't afford to lose her cool. She was too tired, and she was more than sick of crying. "I have to get back to work," she said, dismissing him and biting her tongue as she turned away to go back to her desk.

He clenched his jaw, knowing he'd taken it too far. He didn't even know why he was picking a fight with her. He'd come to ask what exactly they were, what she wanted out of all of this. He rubbed his head and got up.

"Jen—"

"Just…don't, Jethro," she interrupted him, holding her hand up at him as she looked away.

He advanced towards her anyway.

"Jen, I didn't mean—"

"It's-it's fine." She took a breath and folded her arms. "You had a valid question. I should've taken you into consideration too."

He sighed and walked up to her, resting his hand on one of her folded elbows until she looked at him.

"Didn't mean to be a bastard. Came here to talk abou—"

A knock sounded on her door, and he closed his eyes in frustration at the interruption.

"Come in," she yelled, distancing herself from him as she went to stand behind her desk.

Tony popped his head in, raising an eyebrow at the sight of them, clearly both tense.

"Oh, I, uh..."

"What?" Jethro snapped.

"It's Sharif, boss," he said seriously.

Jethro nodded his head and followed Tony out the door, glancing back before he shut it, only for her to avoid his gaze completely.


Jenny normally had more patience and stamina for these types of events, but now she just felt exhausted and hot. The dress suit she had chosen hadn't been a great choice either. She'd chosen it because she knew the gray wool blazer was a bit looser, and even though she wasn't showing at all things felt slightly tighter than they used to and it was making her paranoid. But the material was thick and warm, far too uncomfortable for a day like today.

She clapped with everyone else as the retiring Secretary of Defense walked in, inwardly debating how much longer she'd need to be here. She listened politely to the people talking to her, keeping her arms folded tight across her stomach.

"Director!"

Ziva's panicked shout had her looking to the agent in an instant, her heart skipping a beat. Ziva was running full speed towards her, and she barely had time to brace herself before Ziva was wrapping her arms around her and tackling her hard to the ground.

She landed on her side, her arm keeping her head from smacking into the concrete. Despite the adrenaline rushing through her body, she could feel the force of the impact would most likely leave some bruising. Then, she realized with a pang that she had landed partially on her abdomen.

She groaned as she and Ziva pushed themselves up with their hands to look behind them. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized a body had fallen onto the table she'd been by, the body now laying almost exactly where she had been standing. She could have been killed.


"Gibbs," he answered his phone, hearing Tony on the other end.

"Boss, we've got a body at the ceremony. Marine. Apparent suicide. Seems like he may have jumped off one of the balconies up above, nearly landed on the Director. She wants the full team here to process the scene."

"What do you mean 'nearly landed on the Director'? She okay?" he shot out.

"She's fine. Ziva tackled her to safety."

"Tackled?" he repeated, feeling some protective panic rise. Normally he wouldn't have cared too much, in fact, the thought probably would have made him laugh. She'd been in much worse situations. But she'd never been pregnant in any of those situations.

"She get checked out?" he demanded.

The other agent was silent for a few seconds, clearly confused.

"She's fine, boss," Tony insisted, sounding bewildered, "both her and Ziva said they're not injured. She's just been directing the case and clearing people out. The whole thing's been handled pretty smoothly—"

He flipped his phone shut, feeling irritated. Of course she would stubbornly insist she was fine.

"Grab your gear," he shouted to McGee.

When they'd reached the hotel where the event was being held he muttered under his breath about the traffic as they all grabbed the necessities out of the back of the truck. He walked inside at a quick pace and was directed to the location, his eyes scanning around quickly for the redhead. He spotted her a little ways off as they reached the terrace and he made a beeline to her, seeing her notice them and head their direction.

"Morning Gibbs, McGee," she greeted as they reached each other, a pen and notepad in hand.

He took in how fatigued she looked, looking for any signs in her face that she was in pain.

"Director Shepard," he returned, scanning her body up and down quickly. "You feelin' okay?" he asked before she could start talking.

"I'm feeling fine," she responded, staring at him hard.

"Heard you took a fall," he retorted.

"I'm fine," she insisted, glaring a little. "Our gatecrasher was a marine," she began, changing the subject. "Sergeant Brian Wright. The hotel was in lockdown and he wasn't a registered guest. He took a dive from up there somewhere," she said as she looked up. He kept his eyes glued to her, annoyed that she wasn't taking being tackled onto concrete while she was pregnant more seriously. "SecDef staff are worried that it was an attempt on the life of their boss."

"Are we worried?" he asked, asking about more than just the possible attempt. She gave him a look, picking up on his double question.

"If it was an assassination attempt, he's a lousy assassin. He used his body as a weapon and missed by 75 feet."

"Yeah, and nearly crushed you," he shot out, glaring at her. He ignored the nervous look McGee was giving him.

"Ducky's doing preliminaries," she evaded. "I've got Tony liaising between Metro and hotel management. And we have a witness. Andy Nelson. Ziva's with him."

He barely kept himself from doing an eye roll, wishing she would spare some focus on the matter that in his eyes was a little more critical right now.

"He's an aide to a congressman," she continued. "Nelson claims he was attacked by the deceased on the sixth floor just before the incident." She looked up above again.

"You believe him?" Gibbs asked.

"He works for a politician. What do you think?" she quipped, looking back at him.

He smirked, taking her usual quick sarcastic tongue to be a good sign.

"I'm officially handing over," she said, handing the notepad to him. "I've got my own fires to put out. This happened in our backyard, it's making a lot of people nervous. I'd appreciate a quick result on this one." She looked between them both before walking away.

He flung the notepad into McGee's hands and gave him a quick order on what to do before he walked after Jenny. He was always amazed how fast she could walk in those damn heels.

"Jen," he growled when he reached her.

"I told you, I'm fine," she spat out as she continued to walk.

"In your condition, being tackled on concrete isn't 'fine'. You need to be checked out."

"My 'condition'," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "My arm and hip took the most impact. For the last time, I'm fine."

He grabbed her arm and stopped her, making her face him. "Not you 'm worried 'bout right now. Won't hurt to get a check-up."

"Jethro—"

"Better safe than sorry."

"How sorry could we really be? It's not like this whole thing was planned. If something were to go wrong, then it's meant to be," she threw out.

She turned away from him with angry tears glistening in her eyes as she walked away, leaving him standing like a statue behind her.


Jethro listened on the other line as Jenny talked to a Chief. They'd found a body in the hotel that they believed to be linked to the other case, and Jenny had Jethro listening silently on a three-way call as she battled for jurisdiction with this new case.

He was trying to ignore her outburst from a couple of hours ago and just focus on the case at hand. If she insisted she was fine and insisted that she didn't care if anything wrong happened anyway, then that was on her. He just hoped to God she hadn't really meant her words. If something went wrong and she just brushed it off as being "meant to be", when she could have at least tried to get checked out…he wasn't sure he could look past that.

Then again, part of him felt guilt flood through him when he realized he was being a hypocrite—because he probably wouldn't actually be that sad if the whole pregnancy thing didn't work out either at this point. It was still so new and not fully real, and he wasn't sure what his feelings on Jenny even were. He felt confused about the whole thing. Plus, they'd barely been on speaking terms.

He wasn't surprised when Jenny so easily managed to get jurisdiction without too much nail pulling. She was good at the politics game. The minute the Chief hung up she spoke to just him over the phone.

"You get all that, Jethro?"

"Got it."

"Metro police will want to see results."

"Add them to the list."

"It's a long list. And it's getting longer," she said impatiently, making him roll his eyes.

"Workin' on it," he snapped, about to flip his phone shut in irritation before her voice stopped him.

"And Jethro?"

"What?" he demanded.

Her long pause was making him more irritated.

"I set up an appointment with my doctor. Tomorrow morning."

He stayed silent.

"You're welcome to come to the appointment…if you want, that is."

He was thrown off guard, his face shifting from annoyed to surprised. He could hear the hesitance in her voice. He reminded himself that she could have not even set it up or invited him in the first place, so he decided to accept the olive branch. "I'd like that."

"Okay," she breathed out, sounding relieved.

"Thanks, Jen."

With that he flipped his phone shut, even more determined to have this case wrapped as soon as possible.


It wasn't long after that phone call that he was in the lab with Abby and McGee.

"We need a..."

"An infrared microspectroscopy unit," McGee finished Abby's sentence. "It's the only thing that gets down to the nano level."

"Okay, get one," Jethro replied.

"They cost about a hundred grand," McGee said.

"Yeah, so?" Jethro questioned.

"So it's not in the budget."

He turned around to see Jenny standing there.

"Maybe next year," she said.

"She needs one now," he replied, flinging his arm out.

"Sorry," she replied, as if chastising a child, facing his stare with an intense one of her own.

He was almost annoyed that his own stare was doing nothing to her, but he also felt an odd sense of pride. She was always the one who could face him down, even on her first day as his probie. He knew it was part of the reason that they'd had such an intense relationship after that. She got him, even if it was annoying as hell sometimes.

"I could haggle," Abby said, breaking the uncomfortable silence of him and Jenny trying to stare each other down. "My uncle Horace, he was a great haggler. They used to call him Horace the Haggler."

He watched as Jenny fixed Abby with a silent stare, clearly saying no. He could tell deep down she was amused by Abby's antics.

"Or I could borrow one," Abby tried.

Jenny gave her a slight nod.

"I'll try and borrow one," Abby muttered.

Her computer began to beep and Jethro leaned forward to look at the screen as Abby pulled her results up. "It's the fingerprint from the key card," Abby said. The result was the decorated Marine who had fallen.

"It's not good. It puts him in the dead girl's room," McGee said.

"Sorry, Jethro," Jenny said behind them all.

"Find out who owns that," Jethro said, pointing to evidence on one of Abby's screens.

"Come on," he said, turning around and grabbing Jenny's upper arm.

"Don't start," she said as he wheeled them out of the room. "Do you know how many people want money from me?"

"Did I say anything?" he protested.

She let out an annoyed sigh and he remained silent, waiting until they walked in the elevator and were safely enclosed before talking. He flipped the switch when they were between floors and turned to face her.

"You're really going to argue about the budget in here with me?" she said, glaring at him. "I told you—"

"I don't give a damn about the budget," he snapped. "Wanna make sure you're still feelin' okay."

She looked at him in surprise. "I'm feeling fine."

"You're not in pain anywhere?"

"My arm and hip feel a bit bruised, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Everything else feels normal?"

"Jethro, I'm sure everything is fine," she insisted, looking a bit annoyed.

He clenched his jaw, knowing she just wanted him to drop it. "What time's the appointment?"

"Seven in the morning," she replied, leaning over and flipping the switch, her body brushing across his and distracting him.

His eyes roamed her from head to toe and back up as the elevator whirred.

"I could take a look at your bruises, if ya want," he said quietly, eyeing her.

The elevator came to a stop and her head turned to him as she fixed him with a knowing smirk.

"Looking for an excuse to get my clothes off?"

The ding sounded and the doors opened, his eyes darting down to her lips before they went back to her eyes. He couldn't help the way his own lip quirked back up at her. She smiled, turning away and stepping out of the elevator.

He swallowed as he watched her walk out.


She was pleasantly surprised when the case had actually wrapped up before the night was over. She was proud of Jethro and his team. She was not surprised when Jethro called her that night to inform her he would be picking her up and taking her to the appointment in the morning, hanging up before she could even respond. The line between him being endearing and being plain annoying and chauvinistic was a pretty blurry one.

She woke up that morning, feeling downright tired. She just wanted to sleep in. She wanted to relax. She wanted her body to quit trying to exact revenge on her just because she'd gotten knocked up. She didn't understand why any woman would want to be pregnant—it was hell, and she still had a hell of a long way to go. She wished she could just feel normal again.

He was as prompt as she expected, his knock echoing through her hall at 6:20. She smirked, knowing he probably would have preferred to just barge in. But, because she was smart, she kept her door very securely locked, unlike him.

"Jen," he greeted as she opened the door, surprised to see her looking so casual in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Jethro."

"Everythin' okay?"

"Yes, and I'm sure this appointment is useless. I feel as fine as I ever have the last few weeks."

"Ya never know," he said with a shrug. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, following him out of the door and locking it before she headed to his truck with him.

They rode over in silence, and she wondered what he would do if something had gone wrong with the pregnancy. She'd assumed if she had miscarried she would be bleeding, and therefore assumed the baby was just fine. Then she'd looked online last night, only to discover that you could miscarry and not have symptoms for a few days. She wondered how Jethro would feel if she had miscarried. Could he actually care that much when he'd only known about it for over a week and they didn't even plan it?

She wasn't sure she would be too sad if she did. The only thing that had made her feel attached to this pregnancy was knowing it had resulted from her and Jethro. Other than that, she wasn't sure she honestly cared that much. She still didn't want a baby, and her future was much less complicated without one, especially considering the circumstances it had started out in.

When they'd reached the hospital, she had to go through the usual paperwork while they sat and waited in the waiting room. It was a relief when the nurse had finally called her through and she could finally get this over with. The nurse first had her stand on a scale and took her weight. Jenny was grateful that Jethro was standing a ways off and that the nurse was blocking his view.

Then they were taken to the room, where she sat on the exam chair while Jethro sat on a chair in the corner. He watched as the nurse took her blood pressure and went over the reason for her visit and scanned through her paperwork. The nurse went to get the OB/GYN while they waited.

She glanced at Jethro as they waited, not sure how he was feeling. He was always quiet, but today he was unusually so. He hadn't said a word since they'd left her house. She couldn't decipher what his emotions were on his guarded face.

The door opened again and her doctor walked in, giving her a smile as the doctor applied hand sanitizer. "Jenny, how are you today?" the woman asked as she walked over.

"I'm doing just fine. Thank you for seeing me on short notice, Doctor Landis. How are you?"

"I'm great, thank you. And this is?" the doctor questioned, turning and smiling at Jethro.

"The father," Jenny supplied, as Jethro stood up to shake the doctor's hand.

"Jethro Gibbs," he greeted.

"Doctor Christine Landis. It's nice to meet you."

She turned back to Jenny and walked right up to her on the exam chair, looking at her paperwork. "So, you're just over ten weeks along. How have you been feeling?"

"The way they told me I may feel," she said with a laugh, her doctor chuckling.

"I hear you took a fall yesterday and wanted to get checked out and make sure things are still going okay?"

"I had to be tackled to safety by one of my agents," she replied, seeing the concern and surprise that shot through the doctor's face. "I landed on my side. My hip and arm took the brunt of the impact, but just in case..."

"It's a wise choice. I would have recommended getting checked out as well, as soon as possible."

Jenny didn't miss the superior glance Jethro shot her way.

"If you are comfortable with lifting up your shirt, I can do a quick check of your abdominal area. I'll be feeling around the area with my hands, just a routine check."

Jenny took a quick glance at Jethro before she lifted her shirt up. She wasn't sure why she felt weird about him seeing her stomach. He'd seen the whole show countless times before. She tried to reason it wasn't because of the tiniest hint of a bump that she could actually see now.

"Which side did you land on?" the doctor asked.

"My left side."

The doctor glanced down and Jenny felt as her fingers prodded around the area a little bit. "There is some slight bruising here. Has it been bothering you at all?"

"No."

"Any abdominal pain?"

"No."

"All right, great. Now I'm going to feel around more here. Let me know if any of this hurts," the doctor said. Jenny felt as her fingers prodded a little more firmly around, pressing in on some spots. "You haven't been experiencing any spotting or anything unusual?"

"No, unless you count the fatigue and morning sickness," she replied, making the doctor chuckle.

"Nothing seems wrong or out of the ordinary to me. I'd like to do an abdominal ultrasound real quick to make sure, if you're fine with that. Just to cross all the t's and dot the i's."

Jenny listened as the doctor explained the procedure, feeling nervous for some reason. Perhaps because she knew it would make things more real. She shushed the part of her brain that argued it was because she was actually worried something had gone wrong and Jethro would be angry. The doctor looked at her when she was done explaining, asking if she wanted to do it, and Jenny felt herself hesitate. Why on earth was she feeling at all opposed to such a simple thing?

"I—Jethro?" she asked, looking to him. She wasn't even sure why she was asking him. It was her appointment. Her insurance and money.

"Probably a good idea," he responded.

She nodded at him and then looked at the doctor, giving her confirmation.

"Okay, I'll grab the supplies I need, I'll be back in a jiffy. Lay back and get comfortable." Before the doctor left she glanced at Jethro. "You can move closer if you want to see."

He looked nervous and uncomfortable, but he moved over and stood beside Jenny after the doctor left. She lay back and took a breath. "I told you I was fine," she muttered.

He looked down at her, seeing the anxiety in her eyes. "Nervous?"

"I don't know," she said quietly.

He reached out, taking her hand in his, rubbing his thumb comfortingly across the back of her hand. She stared at their hands, surprised by the affectionate gesture. She looked up and smiled at him, a smile he didn't see since he seemed to be memorizing every detail of the room.

It only took a couple of minutes before the doctor returned with a nurse, who was rolling in a machine with a monitor. They watched as the women set up everything. The doctor held up a device in her hand. "This is the transducer wand. After I apply the gel on your abdomen, I'll be moving this around to detect the baby." Jenny nodded. "We'll be adjusting the exam chair if tht is all right, so you can lay back. After that, I'll need you to lift your shirt up again, and unbutton your pants and lower them slightly. This gel will feel cold and a bit sticky, it may be uncomfortable."

The nurse adjusted the exam chair and Jenny laid back, extracting her hand from Jethro's and feeling her nerves heighten. She lifted her shirt up and unbuttoned and tugged her pants down slightly. "Here goes the gel," the doctor warned. Jenny let out a breath as the doctor squirted the cold gel on her stomach. It felt foreign on her stomach, and she felt the urge to wipe it off. Jethro was watching with interest, and she tried to shake off the exposed feeling she still had.

"I'm going to move this around a little bit. I'll be using some pressure. Let me know if it hurts," the doctor said, lowering the handheld down and sliding it around in the gel. Jenny looked down to see the wand on her lower belly pressing in.

"There's the baby," the doctor said after a few silent seconds, pointing to the monitor. "If you look, you can see it moving around. It looks good, I'm not seeing any abnormalities."

Jenny felt her breath catch as she looked at the screen, seeing the fuzzy black and white blob. She knew what it would be like from movies and pictures and stuff, but it felt extremely different actually experiencing it. She instinctively reached for Jethro's hand, and then a loud echoing sound came from the machine.

"And there's the heartbeat," Doctor Landis said cheerfully. "You're lucky. At this stage the handheld doesn't always pick it up."

Jenny wasn't even sure she was breathing now, hearing that quick pulsing sound. Jethro squeezed her hand tightly and she felt tears she hadn't expected fill her eyes as the sound echoed around. She looked through the tears at that tiny blob, feeling a wave of unexpected affection.

Jethro listened to the sound of his child living, feeling his emotions teeter. He wasn't sure what he expected, but he certainly hadn't expected to feel this way. He thought he had stopped living when Kelly died, felt like his heart had stopped beating alongside her and Shannon. Now, he was listening to the sound of life in this baby, and he could feel something stirring inside him that he hadn't felt in years.

He felt Jenny's hand squeeze his, realizing that he'd been squeezing hers far too tightly. He loosened his grip and looked down to give her a silent apology, seeing that she was mesmerized by the screen and had tears rolling down her cheeks.

He felt a rush of gratitude for her, a rush of affection. He tapped her hand with his thumb, getting her attention and giving her a big smile, which she returned with a watery one of her own.


They got back into his truck and started the drive back to her house. She clutched the sonogram photo in her hands and stared at it, still amazed by the whole ordeal.

"Thanks for gettin' checked out, lettin' me go with you."

"Thanks for going," she replied. "I didn't realize they'd do an ultrasound. I'm glad you could be there for it. It wouldn't have been the same without you."

"Glad it's healthy," he commented, still hearing the echo of it's heartbeat in his head.

"I am too," she whispered.

She hadn't cared. She didn't want to care. She could have miscarried and she wasn't sure she would have felt almost any remorse. Hell, she'd considered abortion. And now, now she felt something she didn't understand.

Seeing and hearing it made things different. She didn't know why or how, but it just did. She felt more responsibility to it. She also felt more overwhelmed. It really did make it all more real, and she still wasn't sure she was ready to accept it all as reality. She glanced at Jethro, wondering how he was feeling. She couldn't help but feel more connected to him too. She really didn't understand why looking at a picture of some alien looking blob and hearing it's heartbeat could make such a difference. It seemed ridiculous. It seemed cheesy. Yet here she was.

The ridiculousness of it irritated her. It was illogical.

He couldn't explain how he was feeling. His daughter was weighing heavily on his mind. He'd look at Jenny and realize how different she was than Shannon. He'd question what they'd gotten themselves into. Jenny had always been attractive to him, he'd always liked her, but now those feelings were different. Stronger.

She was carrying his child, and that made a difference.

When they got to her house, he walked her to her door and waited as she unlocked it. After they walked in she turned to him, taking in his expression.

"Jethro, are you okay?"

He shrugged, attempting a half-hearted smile as he brushed it off. "Are you?" he asked, turning it on her.

She shrugged, smirking lightly. "You've barely said a word all day," she pointed out. "I just wanted to make sure you're not…overwhelmed." She was positive his family—his Kelly—was on his mind.

He gave another shrug, the smile he was attempting not matching the sadness she could see present in his eyes. "Know you didn't want this, Jen."

"You didn't either."

They were silent for a few seconds, each processing.

"I guess we can be overwhelmed together," she said with a light laugh, looking at him uncertainly, still not sure what he was thinking.

She felt his hand reach out and grab hers, pulling her closer. She felt her breathing pause in anticipation, his face getting close to hers—he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, his nose lingering there for a few seconds.

"Gotta get to the office, 'fore my team does anything stupid," he said as he pulled apart.

She tried to ignore the disappointment that he didn't actually kiss her like she thought he was going to for a mad second. But she could tell his head wasn't in a great space right now. "Yeah, that's a good idea. My security detail should be here soon and I need to change.

He nodded.

"Here," she said, grabbing her purse and pulling out one of the sonogram photos and offering it to him. "You should have one." He took it, and she saw that familiar sadness of his flash through his eyes as he looked at it.

He folded it carefully and pulled out his wallet, tucking the scan by the other much more faded photo that he kept in there. He closed his wallet reverently, rubbing his thumb across the leather before he tucked it back in his pocket. "Thanks, Jen."

She nodded, biting her lip nervously. "I'll see you soon," she said, giving his hand a squeeze, still unsure what kind of territory they were in with each other.

He grunted in agreement and turned around, heading out the door. As soon as he got into his truck, he took a deep breath. He'd never been to an appointment like that before. He'd never heard the sound of his own baby's heartbeat through a monitor before. He'd missed some of Shannon's pregnancy, and then missed the majority of Kelly's infancy. He'd missed the appointments, the birth, her first steps…practically everything. He was always gone when it mattered.

He wished he could go back in time and change things, be involved in those moments. Wished he could see them again. Hear them again. Remember things they had said. His eyebrows furrowed.

But now, he had an opportunity to be there for all the moments he missed. Not for his Kelly, but for this baby. It may not have been what he had planned, but he was sure as hell going to be there for the important stuff this time. He knew now how short life could be.

He saw the light where he knew her room was turn on. He tried to shake away the images that popped into his head of her changing, as well as shake off the urge he felt to go up there and lose himself in her. His feelings on her were all over the place. He wanted to be with her, and at the same time he was terrified of breaking her. Terrified of hurting both of them.

He sighed and started his truck, pulling away from the curb and heading in the direction of the office, ready to bury himself in work and distract himself from his conflicting thoughts.