It isn't right to blame the child, Gilbert knows this, but he also knows that the one he still thinks of as a child is not a child any longer. He's a young man and should have known better. Mistakes can be deadly in a situation like this, and it's the fear this knowledge brings that terrifies Gilbert and makes his words harsher as he speaks.
"How long has he been like this?"
Gilbert needs to know how bad it is, how deep Francis has fallen. The young man flinches at Gilbert's answer, and his eyes slide away as he answers. That in itself is enough to answer his question. Gilbert clicks his tongue in frustration. He's irritated, because he's sure if he had arrived earlier, if him and Antonio could have helped sooner, Francis never would have gotten this bad.
He's frustrated because not only Francis, but even his son, a picture image of his dad when he was younger, didn't call for help. He's frustrated because he thinks if he visited more often, he wouldn't have had to be told. He's irritated because he thinks it's his fault too, and Gilbert knows he shouldn't think this way. His words come out harsher than he means, his voice always sounds sharper when he's nervous.
"And you just left him like that? Why didn't you call us? We could have helped!"
It's hard to not be irritated when he knows that Mathew knew Francis was depressed and did nothing. He knows Mathew has his number, he uses it sometimes to text the boy to pick up Francis if they have a little too much fun on a night out and Francis gets too drunk. If not from Francis, he should have heard from Mathew, not Alfred who had to get Antonio's number from his dad.
It makes Gilbert wonder if Mathew thinks he's unreliable. He knows he likes to joke a lot and play pranks childishly, but Gilbert's a full grown adult and at the end of the day he knows when to be serious and when to joke. He raised his own little brother, for goodness sake, and he thinks he did a really good job too. Gilbert hopes his brother will know to call his friends and not try to deal with it alone if Gilbert ever falls into depression.
The thought that his younger brother might be in Matthew's shoes causes Gilbert to soften, especially as he hears Matthew's whispered apology, and sees the broken light in the boy's eyes. It reminds Gilbert that Mathew is really just a child, despite his age, he's only a child dealing with a depressed parent. He's not like Gilbert, he hasn't dealt with it before and doesn't know the right things to do. He's scared and alone and needs guidance, not just a scolding. Gilbert tries to soothe the boy.
"Hey, it's not your fault."
Its obvious that Mathew doesn't believe him, and Gilbert wants to curse the him from a few moments ago that scolded before comforting. Mathew doesn't argue, but Gilbert can tell he isn't getting through to the boy and he tries to explain.
" You're still a chil -"
Gilbert realises that Mathew might not take well to being called a child and quickly changes his words.
"Ah, no, I mean, you're not alone. If something happens its fine to rely on us older people."
He thinks his little brother would laugh if he knew Gilbert called himself "older." Mathew doesn't laugh, only looks guiltily at the ground. Gilbert isn't sure what he should say to comfort the boy, and he doesn't get the chance. His phone buzzes and he slips it out.
"It's Tony."
Tony is watching Francis. It sounds wrong to think of it like that, but it's true. Gilbert remembers back in college and what had happened when Francis was left alone. Gilbert had known Francis was depressed back then, but he hadn't understood. He won't make the same mistake again. The text from Antonio is only two words but they say more than enough, and Gilbert's heart is pounding.
"Come quickly ."
He curses before he can stop himself but he doesn't have time to care. He barely manages to tell the boy to stay there, before he takes off running. It won't do Mathew any good to see Francis in this state, and it certainly will makes things worse for Francis if he does.
He has one thought on his mind as he takes the steps two at a time.
"Francis, please be okay."
