a/n: i hate to say it, but this is the last chapter (excluding the epilouge). i guess i'll save the sappiness until then. so, spike's gonna go do, whatever it is he had to do. there's a lot of spike/faye here, more than any other chapter, i'm sure, but isn't it about time the get to spend time together? which leads me to this disclaimer: caution, there is lemony content in this chapter. is it wholly necessary? yes? (probably not). but shouldn't there be some happy sex? i think so. so go read it, and just think of it as art. oh, and faye gets to be the talkative one, for once.

ps - sorry for the delay. it's been a hectic week.

19. Like A VCR
Spike had left Jet with the task of cleaning up because he figured he had something more important to do. Knocking lightly on Faye's door, he waited for her to tell him to enter, then slowly slinked into her room.

"Hey," he coolly called out.

"Hey, yourself," she smiled at him.

Walking over and sitting on her bed with her, Spike pulled Faye in for a light kiss. Releasing her sooner than she would have liked, he then kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable as he reclined onto her pillows.

"That was a really nice thing you did for us," Faye told him as she lay down next to him.

"Well, if you tell anyone that I did something nice for someone, I'll deny it," he responded.

"You just can't stand to be kind, can you?"

"It was never my strong suit."

Scooting herself into Spike's arms, Faye rested her forehead on his chest and breathed in his scent. Ever since they had gotten back together (if they were ever really apart to begin with), they had spent their nights like this: in each other's arms. No outrageous make out sessions, no hanky panky (much to Spike's chagrin), but just enjoying the warmth that each other gave out.

It was difficult to believe that the two of them could be so content in such a simple moment, but the truth of the matter was, they were as close to heaven as they would ever be in those moments. There were no expectations and no disappointments, just two bodies finding comfort in each other.

Spike leaned his head down and kissed Faye's hair as his hand absently stroked her back. The dim lighting in the room, which seemed to be the normal source of lighting for just about anything in his life, added to the easy ambience of the room.

"I know I've said it before," Spike said softly, "but I really am so sorry for what I've done to you…the whole cheating and everything."

"That's the only thing you're apologizing for?" Faye joked as she poked him in his side.

"You know what I mean."

"I've already told you that I forgive you, so you can really stop apologizing, my dear Gorgio."

"I know," he began, "but I just don't see how you could forgive me for that. For any of the things that I've put you throw, but especially that."

"Did you love them?" Faye pointedly asked him.

"What! No! Christ, no," he sputtered as he sat up.

"Then there you have it: it wasn't about love," she said., sitting up as well "Even though you gave your body to someone else, you didn't give them your heart. From what you say, that belonged to me. And with that logic, I can forgive you. I don't know what you gained, or thought you gained from any of that, but it's over and done, and let's just forget about it.

"If you had loved them, then there would be a problem. A big problem. Like a bullet wound from my Glock kind of problem. But with them, you were only going through the motions. Don't try to understand my compassion for you, God knows I don't get it, just be happy that I forgave you."

"Thank you for that," Spike smiled at her, fully genuine in his respone.

"Any time."

"And thank you for proving to me that I'm, well…that I'm worth it, too."

"You sound like a L'oreal commercial," Faye quipped.

"A what?" Spike asked, not getting the reference.

"Nevermind," she passed.

"Okay grandma," Spike teased, earning himself a punch in the arm.

"As I was saying," Faye said with slight irritation. "I don't know why you didn't know that yourself, but I'm glad you finally figured it out, lunkhead."

Rolling his eyes at her, Spike poked her back and watched as she smiled.

"Seriously, though," he began, "For a while, there, I was sure that I was lower than dirt, and that I didn't deserve one good thing in my life. I though that you were too good for me…"

"Which I am."

"And I didn't think it was fair for you to be with me. I'm glad you're so damn stubborn, though. Without you, I don't think I would have made it through all of this."

"Well, you had Jet and Ed, even if I wasn't there," Faye pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's not you. I don't plan to spend the rest of my life with Jet…at least not that way. And Ed…I can still only take so much of that girl."

"I know what you mean," Faye agreed.

"I've put myself through a whole lotta shit over the past, what? Almost two years? And for some crazy reason, you've stuck with me. You're the reason I'm still here. You pulled me out of my ruts on more than one occasion."

"I was glad to do it."

"Now, as corny and cliche as it sounds, and as much as I hate to admit that I have a soft spot for you, I only hope that I can be half as good to you, as you are to me."

"I doubt you could ever keep up with my level of kindness," she smirked at him, "seeing as though you've already exhausted your nice reserve with that party."

"Well who died and went and made you queen of Niceville?"

"You're a real ass sometimes, you know that Spiegel?"

"It's a point of personal pride, thank you very much."

The two broke into healthy laughter then. They basked in the happy sounds that flowed from one another and found much comfort in what had been said. Soon the laughter receded and they were left with the subtle sounds of their breathing, which was more than enough to sustain them. Silence settled in again, and they both sighed in content unison.

"Faye?" Spike questioned a few minutes later, breaking their silence.

"Yeah?" She answered as she looked over at him.

"I got a question for you."

"Okay..."

"What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" He asked after a few seconds.

He wasn't explicitly proposing to her right then, he had actually heard what Jet said, but he wanted to see what her reaction would be, just in case. Her response, however, wasn't what he expected. She was laughing. A very hearty, tear inducing laughter. Spike drew his lips into a tight line, not too pleased with her reply.

"I guess that's a 'no', then," he said with a bit of an edge.

"What?" Faye asked through receding chuckles. "Oh, no, it's not that, it's just…you would never ask me to marry you!"

She barely finished her sentence before she launched into another laughing fit. Waiting for her to get it all out, Spike scooted away from her. Faye's giggles quickly subsided, then, as she noticed his change in demeanor.

"Christ, Spike…you're serious, aren't you?"

"Of course I'm not," he said quite sarcastically.

"Oh…I…I'm sorry," she whispered. "But you have to understand why I would think you were joking, right?"

"Obviously," he continued on with the sarcasm. "Since my love for you is fake and all."

"Don't get your panties in a knot," She said as scooted over and leaned her back against his. "But…you really meant that?"

"Yes, Faye, I meant it," he answered with a sigh and truth back in his voice.

"And you want to know what I'd say?"

"I think your outburst said it all."

"No, Spike, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Faye?" He asked her, not sure if he wanted her response.

"Well, I mean…I'd be absolutely flattered if you, uh…asked me to marry you. Really, I would be…but if you asked me now, I'd have to tell you 'no'."

Faye felt him stiffen behind her and for a moment, she thought he was going to move away from her and/or really through a fit, but he didn't say a word. He didn't even move.

"But it's not like I'd decline because I don't love you, God no. Quite frankly, and just between you and me, I love you with everything I am. And if push came to shove, I'd be very happy to spend the rest of my life with you. But marriage? That's a huge step, and I know I'm not ready for it. You're not ready for it, either.

"I mean, in a perfect world, you and I would be parents and married already (if we didn't want a bastard child an all), and our lives would be nothing like they are. But this world isn't perfect, and neither are we. But I love you like the princess loves her prince. This is no fairy tale, by any stretch of the word, and there's probably no sunset for us to ride off into.

"I'll always be with you, though, because when I'm with you, well…I'm home. I don't question why I was put in cryo anymore, because of you. I was in that accident, I was 'freeze-dried' as you put it, all for a reason. I'm pretty sure that reason is you. After all, someone's gotta put up with your shit.

"Marriage would just screw things up for us right now. For some weird reason, that type of commitment really messes with people, and I don't want to be another statistic. And anyway, there are plenty of lifelong couples that love each other and are totally committed, but aren't married. I'm not saying that you and I will never walk down that aisle, but I just don't think we're ready for it, yet. Besides, weddings cost a fortune, and we're still basically broke.

"And I think we need to just…take it slow for a while. When I think back on things, we have definitely been in some whirlwind relationship, and I would like it if we could just calm down for a while, you know? But don't ever think that I'm saying 'no' right now, because I don't love you. If that were the case, then I would have left you to Bunny Boo. You…you're my everything, Spike, whether you like it or not, and I'm not going to let you go for anything. So if you don't like it, tough; you'd better start learninig how to deal."

Upon hearing her stop, Spike let out a long sigh and cracked a light smile. As always, Jet was right, but he should have figured it out, too. They did need to slow down and just take life as it came. What harm could that do, anyway? Feeling her kiss that spot above his shoulder, even through his shirt, Spike turned around and pulled Faye back into his arms. He kissed her forehead in return, and thanked her in that action.

"I guess you're right, Faye," he conceded.

"Of course I am," she preened.

"We're, uh…I guess we're kinda like a VCR, huh? We've spent so much time in fast-forward, maybe it's time that we just live in play for a while."

"You got that from Jet, didn't you?" Faye said more than asked.

"Are Jetisms that easy to pick out?

"You bet your sweet ass they are."

"Hn. And speaking of 'sweet ass', we've been on good behavior for a little while, now…"

"Some longer than others," Faye pointed out.

"So…are you and I gonna…you know…any time soon?"

"Well, cowboy, if you give me a good reason, then I might be willing to indulge you."

Capturing her face in his hands, then, Spike gave Faye one of his mind-blowing kisses as he pulled out all the stops, trying to give her a good reason. With expert precision and memorized ease, he deepened the kiss and slowly rolled his tongue along hers. He tangled fingers in her violet hair and rested his other hand on her thigh, grateful that she was wearing shorts.

Reluctantly leaving her all too inviting mouth, Spike trailed increasingly hot kisses along her jaw line and down the pulse in her neck. Small sounds of what seemed to be her willingness to indulge escaped Faye's slightly parted lips. Running her hands through Spike's mop of green, she pulled him closer to her.

He then made his way back up her slender neck and back the way he came. He made a detour at her mouth, though, and headed for her ear. Using his teeth, which was a dirty trick he used to "entice" Faye, he lightly grabbed hold of her lobe and gave it a little nip. As he heard her try and stymie an appreciative moan, he released her ear and whispered to her.

"So, am I giving you a good enough reason?" He asked as he hand went higher on her thigh. "Or should I stop right now?"

"No!" She all but yelled. "Don't stop now, lunkhead. If you do, I'll make you regret it."

"Yes ma'am. But if I knew it was this easy to get to you, I would have done this a long time ago."

His comment was rewarded by a sharp tug of his hair, but he didn't mind at the moment. Eager to claim his woman once more, Spike grabbed the edges of the t-shirt she wore and easily slipped it over her head. Once again, he was rewarded with her bare breast. Thank God she slept braless. Running a warm, calloused hand over her newly exposed flesh, he felt her shiver under his touch and smiled into the kiss he had placed upon her.

Feeling Faye's fingers expertly undo the buttons on his shirt, Spike allowed her to slip the old, yellow shirt from his body. She then proceeded to remove his restrictive undershirt, and then touched him, too.

More than ready to get to the main event, Spike pushed Faye down onto the bed and removed her shorts and remaining under garments in one fell swoop. He took a moment to admire her now nude body in the dull lightning, taking note of the new scars that now marred her skin. Scars that had been put there because of him. In a sick way, he preferred that, as it marked her as forever his.

Moving his body over hers, he kissed her lips again. As he ran his hands softly over her heated flesh, her slight moans were turning into purrs of excitement. Deciding to indulge her more, to try and figure her out again, Spike abandoned her lips altogether and headed down her body.

He lavished kisses on her collar bone, feeling the dent from her freshly fused bones under his lips. He then continued down and lapped lazily at one of her pert nipples, while his fingers worked the other. Underneath him, Faye was beginning to buck and with every bit of contact that her hips made with his, another jolt of electricity bolted from Spike's loins. To say he wanted her was an understatement. By now, he needed her.

Turning to the other breast, intent of spending an equal amount of time on it, Spike encircled her other nipple with his expert tongue and let his other hand trail down her stomach. After a few minutes more, he headed further down, once again adorning her cesarean scar with somber kisses, letting their grief mingle together for a few seconds.

As Faye brushed her hands through his hair again, Spike came out of his reverie and continued with his task. Licking lightly at her navel and hearing her giggle, he then bypassed her most wanton region and took hold of her silky leg. Giving her foot a quick massage, he watched her face and saw that his actions were a delightful surprise. Taking her other foot in hand, he repeated the motions.

Once completed with that task, Spike then placed a kiss at her ankle, then another a few inches up and so on until he got to the top of her thigh. Then he returned to the ankle on the other leg and repeated his trail up. By now, Faye was becoming very frustrated with his avoidance techniques and all but begged him to stop teasing her.

Sitting up, Spike ignored her mewls and freed himself of his pants and green-stripped boxers. He then laid his body on top of hers and settled himself between her inviting legs. Kissing her once again, Spike slowly slid into her and smirked at her gasp. Almost instinctually, Faye's legs wrapped around Spike's waist, urging him to go faster, deeper; harder.

Her moans and cries elevated to a near fever pitch as he continued to thrust himself into her. Though her eyes were heavily lidded with the pleasure that they were creating, her sparkling green eyes locked onto his bright, chocolate and russet ones, and they smiled gratefully at one another.

A few more thrusts was all it took to push them over the edge into blinding bliss and they lay, sweaty and satisfied in each others arms for several minutes more. As their breath finally began to regulate once more, Spike pulled out of Faye and flopped on his side. Pulling her to him and laying a possessive kiss on her forehead, the lovers sighed in contented release.

"I love you, ya know," Spike whispered to her.

"Yeah, I had a feeling you did," she smiled back to him.

"I got another question for you, though," he said as he nuzzled her neck.

"What are you going to ask me, now?" She said in mock frustration.

"I was just wondering why you always kiss my shoulder. It's the same spot every time, too."

"Oh, that," she giggled, sounding almost like her former self. "Well, you have the cutest little mole just above your shoulder blade, and every time I see it, I just have to kiss it. Maybe I do it for luck, I dunno. You don't have a Buddha belly to rub, so I gotta get my luck somewhere."

Chuckling at her little-girl explanations, Spike pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. He then settled in, ready to get some sleep.

"Damn," Spike exclaimed a few minutes later, as he quickly sat up.

"What's wrong?" Faye asked, worry on her face.

He didn't answer, but searched for his pants, instead. He found them and fished in the pocket and pulled out a little box. Clutching it in his hand, Spike went over to Faye's dresser in all his naked glory, and rambled through the jewelry box he found there. Seemingly seeing what he was looking for, he concealed his actions, as he had his back towards Faye.

Turning back a few seconds later, he walked back over to the bed and sat down. He held out a fist to her and motioned for her to open her hand. Complying, she held out her palm and watched as a silver chain dropped into it.

"You said you wouldn't marry me right now," Spike said to her, "and that's okay. But maybe you can wear this around your neck instead. Kinda like a promise or something."

Faye looked into her hand and picked up the chain. As it dangled in her fingers, she caught sight of a hoop in the middle and pulled it towards her. To her amazement, it was a ring. A beautiful silver and diamond ring.

"It's real, though I know it's not much, I mean, it's only like a fourth of a carat, but it was all I could afford right now. I would much rather give you a fancier ring, anyway, if I was asking you to marry me and all."

Faye stared at the ring, characteristic tears welling up in her eyes. Her look of stun turned to an enthusiastic smile and she leaped happily into his arms.

"Christ, it's beautiful, Spike. I absolutely love it!"

Smiling back at her and relieved that she liked it, he took the chain from her and put it around her neck. Letting the ring rest on her exposed chest, he looked back up at her and returned her loving smile. Kissing her again with every emotion he was capable of, pouring out of him and into her, Spike knew that she was his forever.

Separating from the kiss and laying back down, Faye clicked off the light and they settled in to sleep. Huddled so close with her cowboy, the man she would walk through Hell for, things felt so ridiculously right. The quite that enveloped the sleeping Bebop in those moments was a sound that echoed the calm that came after the storm.

Kind of like a natural disaster, that's how the Bebop existed. At first, things were calm, but everyone knew there was trouble slowly brewing. Then, disaster would strike and everyone would be left in confusion, trying desperately to pick their lives back up. And then, after some grieving, people would begin to pick up the pieces and put things back together. And then a year or so later, everything would be back to some semblance of normality, some form of regularity.

Though the terror of the disaster would never be forgotten, the survivors would be stronger for it. Out of the tragedy, beauty would spring forth, and continue to propel life forward. Yeah…that was a lot like the Bebop. Tragic, yet beautiful. Like a work from Shakespeare, the crew of this ship was poetry in motion.


so...that's that. kinda bittersweet, eh? and i apologize again for any ooc-ness, but once again, i think we all have to understand why. so yeah, there's just that epilouge left. who knew things would be over so soon. well...until then, i guess. i'll save the weepiness for then. as always, thanks for stopping by and until next time!