Blinding Lights
She isn't quite sure how to calm the tumultuous beat of her heart as she stands in line beside him, feeling the warmth of his body floats towards her as he stands with his arms folded over his chest. He's been mostly quiet all night, keeping his thoughts to himself. But throughout the evening, even through his silence, Tifa has noticed that he hasn't kept his eyes to himself, his gaze constantly wandering to find hers or to pass over her body.
It's hard for Tifa to contain the excitement she's feeling at the moment - for the last two hours, she's been spending time with Cloud, walking side by side with him through the Squares of the Gold Saucer. They stop to play games and to sample confections and fried treats, the music and the lights a kaleidoscope of bright sounds and colors all around them. And now, they are standing in line at the Gondola, waiting on their turn for one of the cars to carry them high into the night sky.
Tifa has been nervous all night. She's the one who initiated this encounter - Cloud had given them all a little bit of downtime, the next day promising to be filled with new trials. While Aerith and Yuffie used it as an excuse to explore the attractions of the Saucer, Tifa could only sit on her bed, twirling her fingers over one another as she worked up her nerves to ask him to spend some time alone with her.
It was an easy enough thing to follow up on - they'd already agreed to one night out together, there just hadn't been a good opportunity to make it happen. So when she showed up outside of his room tonight, her hair freshly brushed and her arms free of all of its heavy armor and gloves, Cloud had looked her up and down before he readily agreed.
And now she stands there at his side, the queue moving slowly along. She notices there are mostly couples here, and it makes the thrum inside of her heart buzz a little louder. She curls her fingers up at her sides, trying to weave away some of the nervous tension that is wound up inside of her.
Tifa's been thinking bout her relationship with Cloud over and over again since the moment she found him at the train station in the rain. It would be an understatement for her to say that she was in love with him - she's been holding on to those feelings since she was thirteen, and his reappearance only kindled them from something innocent and sweet to something fiery and consuming. He occupies all of her thoughts, all of the time - trapped in daydreams of his touch or his hug or maybe even a kiss, of his hands on her body or the warmth of his breath as he whispers in her ear. They are caught up in the sounds of his voice - that soft, sweet cadence that brushes her by when he asks her if she's okay, the firm, no-nonsense direction of his tone when he issues a directive to her from across the battlefield. They are lost in the whirlpool of his blue-green eyes, of those viridian sparks that singe and burn every time his gaze circles back with hers.
While she still hides the burdens of her past under a cloak of silence, Tifa knows that Cloud is dealing with his own demons - none of which she understands at all. But somehow, he is always stable for her. He is always right at her side when she needs him, and whenever her faith or her hope or her strength wavers, he always knows exactly what to say or what to do to keep her from collapsing.
The entire evening, Cloud hasn't been more than a couple of inches away from her. Even though he doesn't say much as they weave their way through the Squares, Tifa feels like something special is burning between them. She didn't use the word 'date' when she asked him out, but it feels like that is what this might be. The prospect excites her to her core, but she is too nervous and too unsure to venture forth and test those waters by reaching for his hand.
Tifa admits that she doesn't know how Cloud really feels about her. He's sweet, she knows, and he's attentive. He seems to genuinely care about her feelings, and he's always so protective, making sure that she's safe. But she isn't sure if that's quite enough to read anything further from, or if that means that the bond they share is anything more exceptional than the friendship they cultivated in childhood. And Cloud looks out for everyone - it's his duty as the leader of this party.
Still, when Tifa left her room earlier that evening, she resolved to herself that she was going to try to close this gap between them. The uncertainty that seesaws in their relationship, between his gestures that hover just a little bit past friendship and the way that her own feelings just can't seem to be quelled, the longer that this journey goes on the more Tifa knows she needs to get it off of her chest.
Yet the evening is almost over and she has yet to say anything to him at all, going through the motions quietly as they enjoy each other's company and she repeats over and over again in her head what she might actually say.
"Right this way, please - I'll take your tickets."
Tifa is so caught up in her thoughts that she hasn't realized that they are next in the queue, standing near the edge of the tracks as Cloud hands over their tickets. She blinks, and then his hand is on her arm, and the heat of it instantly reminds her that they are both without gloves or armor and she feels as if he is suddenly scalding her.
"Come on," he says softly as the usher moves the line along, helping her to step onto the gondola that is waiting for them.
The gondola is a tight fit - two wooden benches facing a tight space across from one another under a steel canopy and wide-open windows that invite the night air. It sways slightly against the cables that keep it suspended in the sky as they step aboard, and Tifa feels her heart lurch between her throat and her stomach.
She has never been terribly appreciative of heights. She is reminded of the time she had fallen from a mountain's cliff face, and although that day is still foggy in her memories, the damage that it did has never fully left her psych. As soon as she is inside, she reaches for one of the benches and quickly sits, trying to ground herself.
"You okay?" Cloud asks her, finding the seat across from her, his eyes attached to her face. She looks up to see the pensive stare he wears, and it's completely transparent to her that he's seen how she wavered and he's concerned.
"I'm fine," she lies, trying to swallow her nerves back. "It's just - haven't been up high like this before." They are suspended nearly fifteen hundred feet above the sand below the Saucer - Tifa remembers reading that in one of the theme park's brochures. She tries not to think too much about it.
"Don't look down," Cloud tells her, then sits back on the bench across from her, his eyes still on her face. "Promise, once we get moving, you'll feel a little calmer."
For some reason, the self-assuredness behind his words helps quiet her anxiety, and she drops her palms to either side of her thighs on the bench, squeezing the wood as the gondola slowly makes its way across the ropes and deeper into the night sky above the attractions below.
Cloud leans forward over his knees, clasping his hands together as he turns to look out of the window. Tifa does the same, directing her attention that way as her heart beats even faster, this time not because of the heights but because of his proximity. With the way that he's leaned over in this tiny cabin, his knees are only inches from hers, and Tifa finds herself distracted by how the lights of the Saucer shine rainbows on his golden hair. She turns to admire the profile of his face, smooth, angular lines that slope and curve as he keeps his stare focused on the world beyond, glittering fireworks lighting up the sky.
Cloud has always been pretty, Tifa thinks, but even as a young girl with a steadily blooming crush, she'd never been able to imagine what he'd look like as a man. These last few weeks have imprinted her with an unforgettable realization that he is no longer that fresh-faced boy with starlit blue eyes that glittered at her under a ribbon of Tanabata. He is taller and lined with lean, sinewy muscles, his face still beautiful and boyish but carved from a perfect stone of masculinity. His eyes are still blue but they glow now, sparked with hints of emerald green that shine when he's angry or when adrenaline flows through his veins.
She's wading through these thoughts when she realizes that Cloud is staring at her face now, that's he's turned away from the window. Tifa turns to him, and seeing his attention so contemplatively attached to her, her cheeks instantly begin to heat up again.
"Cloud," she says in an attempt to distract herself, hoping that the quivering of her voice isn't betraying how her entire body is electrified by his presence and his stare. "Isn't it pretty?"
Cloud doesn't take his eyes from her face, even though she's trying to focus his attention on the sky and the blaze of fireworks beyond. He leans closer, and Tifa sees the green rim of mako pulse around his pupils.
"Yeah," he replies over a breath, his gaze fixated on her. "Beautiful."
Tifa instantly feels her heart roll over inside her, her face burning, lips trapped between her teeth. His voice is too low and his words crawl over her with a wave of heat that makes her thighs press together and her hands tighten their grip on the bench. He's still staring directly at her and Tifa knows that he isn't talking about the fireworks.
"Cloud…"
She isn't sure what she is trying to say or what thoughts she wants to get out. He's hovering even closer, seemingly trying to kill the few short inches of space that exist between them as the gondola gently rocks back and forth in the wind. She wants to tell him that his words make her heart soar, that every time he is this close to her, she feels like a part of her soul that was dead and buried is being revived. She wants to tell him that she's worried about him and that she wants him to be okay, that he's the most important person in her world and that she wants him to be more than just her friend.
She wants him to be her boyfriend. Wants him to hold her tight the way he did in the garden, but every night, the way boyfriends hold their girlfriends. She wants him to kiss her and run his fingers through her hair, wants to hold his hand and feel his palm wrapped around her waist. She wants to sit in his lap with her arm laced around his neck and her head on his shoulder, wants to share a bed with him, cuddling under the sheets. She longs to spend every waking moment with him, at his side with his attention focused on her and only her.
The way that it is now, she thinks, his ultramarine eyes smoldering as he leans in even closer.
Tifa feels her mouth drop open. He is so close that she can hear his breathing even though the fireworks are crashing like cymbals outside. She can see every pale freckle in his skin and every whisper of blonde in his eyebrows and lashes, can see the cuts of jade carved into his irises. He is so close and his sentiment has infected her so deeply that she can't unspool herself from the impulsivity that is rising through her, and she realizes that this is her moment to take what she wants.
"Cloud, I want to tell you something," she whispers, and her cheeks flush even further at the realization of what she is about to do, her insides liquifying.
"Yeah?" Cloud immediately responds, his voice full of interest. He sits up a little, and his eyes are precise on her face, completely focused on her.
Tifa vacillates. She's never done anything like this before and she's kept her feelings locked away so tightly these past few weeks for a reason. Rejection is her greatest fear; she's dealt with a lifetime of being discarded and left alone these past five years. She can't fathom being cast aside by the only person left on earth who truly knows her, can't handle the fallout of ruining what they have so shakily built. She wonders if she isn't making a huge mistake by attempting to cross this line, and she hesitates.
"I…" Tifa shakes her head, trying to figure out how to preclude this. Everything sounds so stupid and awful in her head. Whatever makes her think this is a good idea?
"I'm not sure how to -"
She is cut off the by the sharp static of an electrical current that runs through the entire Saucer, a wave of energy that snaps across the gondola's ropeways and bursts into the sky with a powerful blast. There is a scream of metal above her as the gondola halts and then sways, leaving them frozen and suspended in the air where they sit. The lights that surround them all flicker and buzz, and then, everything is shrouded in darkness, a gentle hum of generators dying away into the night.
A few fireworks go off, but then, they too die, and silence reigns with the blackness that surrounds them. Tifa's words are forgotten as a fist curls around her heart, and she hears a few shouts from other guests in the distance, but everything is too far and blunted for her to decipher.
"Power went out," Cloud is softly saying across from her. "Looks like a power surge. Something probably burned out one of the mako generators."
His explanation is mechanical and precise, and Tifa admits that his ability to so nonchalantly reach into this efficient bank of knowledge is somewhat of a turn on for her. But the darkness is too enveloping when the fireworks fade, and with the way the wind is pushing their gondola back and forth where it is stilted, Tifa's heart is beating out of rhythm and she's clutching the bench again.
She wants to respond to Cloud's reasonable explanation but finds that she can't. Fear is covering her and finding its way into her spine, and she closes her eyes, inhaling a deep breath to ground herself. It's just a power outage and there is nothing to fear. They just have to sit there and wait for a few minutes and then everything will be okay.
"Tifa?"
Tifa opens her eyes at the sound of his voice, glancing across the slim space between them. His eyes are glowing subtly in the darkness, giving off the only light that she can see and bouncing off the pale crests of his cheeks. They are haunting, and they tear Tifa for just a moment out of her panic. She finds herself getting lost in them.
"I -" she stutters.
"Are you afraid of heights, Tifa?" Cloud asks. His voice has lowered even further and he's scooted closer to her, and now, his hand has come to rest on her wrist. It wraps around it, his skin somehow soft but rough and firm at the very same time. Warmth floats into her flesh, setting her heartbeat to a new pace, and Tifa feels the pad of his fingers bend into her pulse point.
"A little," she admits, unable to keep her thoughts or her feelings to herself when he's imploring her so softly, that gentleness that she's realized has become reserved for her and her alone seeping out at her from hazy, radiant blue eyes.
Her eyes have begun to adjust to the darkness, and she sees the way he nods in understanding, cocking his head to one side. He leans forward again, and, still holding her wrist, slides off of the bench and makes his way to the floor, sitting with his back to the wall under one of the windows.
"Come here," he whispers to her softly, gently pulling her wrist.
Tifa swallows, unable to calm the torrent of her heartbeat. It's still hard to see, but she can just barely see the outline of his form where he sits. His knees are propped up and open, and he's inviting her into the space between his thighs.
He pulls on her again when she hesitates.
Her body may be on fire and her heart may be on the verge of stopping, but Tifa can't help but obey Cloud's silent command. She lets him guide her, crouching to her knees in front of him. Their eyes meet and Tifa can get a better look at his face now, the stars and moonlight from the heavens shining in through the window above his head. He offers a small but reassuring smile, a look she has seen him wear every time he's silently asked her to trust him.
She allows his hands to lead the way, and they guide her to face away from him, her back to his chest. Cloud pulls her into him, pressing their bodies together, and before she can even fully grasp what is happening, she realizes that he is holding her, his arms wrapped around her and his legs a fortress on either side of her body.
"Sitting on the floor," Cloud calmly explains, his breath whipping past her ear, "Will help you from feeling unsteady from the height. "Just…try to take deep breaths, Tifa. You're shaking. Everything is okay. I'm right here."
As if to emphasize, he squeezes her gently. She hadn't even realized how badly her anxiety was affecting her, but like always, he seems to know her even better than she knows herself.
His arms are fully wrapped around her upper body, one hand resting below her shoulder, just above her breast, the other flat on her belly. Cloud has held her a few times before but never quite so intimately or so purposefully - nor with so much initiative - and Tifa wonders if he has felt the same things she's been feeling these past couple of weeks.
There is something about the way that he holds her - he is strong yet gentle, as if she can feel the power beneath those muscles that could crush her into dust if he wanted. But he handles her with care, even if sometimes his hugs may be a little too tight.
She complained once about that but she will never complain again, and she leans back, letting herself become wrapped up in him. His body is hard but his skin is warm and soft, and he smells nice, masculine and clean, like a rainforest after a storm. Her body is melting, too many sensations falling over her at once, especially when he lowers his face by her shoulder and their cheeks brush together.
"Is this better?" he asks her, his voice a quiet rumble that she can barely decipher over the sound of her own heartbeat.
She stretches her legs out in front of her, getting comfortable as she settles back against him. She's nervous and she's not exactly thrilled to be thousands of feet above ground during a blackout, but Cloud's body so close to hers weaves tranquility through her bones.
"Yes… Thank you, Cloud."
"Sure," he whispers in response. He seems to fold himself even closer around her, and Tifa is distinctly aware of the way that she fits against his body. She's noticed the way that she could meld into his chest when they would hug face to face, but this… this is different. She feels like his arms are swallowing her whole, surrounded by nothing but him, the heaviness of his breathing and the warmth of his skin, the strength that lies beneath and he way that his entire body seems committed to protecting hers.
She really, really wants him to be her boyfriend.
She closes her eyes again and lets her daydreaming fall to that space, enjoying the feel of his arms around her while she has it. She wants to be able to drown in this feeling any time that she wants, not His promise has become a curse in that way; she never knows if his affection is out of duty or out of desire.
"Tifa," her name is a wispy melody on his tongue, and Tifa feels a shiver crawl down her spine when his breath drifts through the hair at her throat. "What did you want to tell me a few minutes ago?"
Tifa swallows, considering the confession she was on the verge of sharing with him. Her heart is racing, and she knows that Cloud can feel the strum of it through her back, colliding into his own chest. It only beats faster at his question, and Tifa is grateful for the darkness, providing cover for words she is so terrified to say out loud.
"I… it's nothing, really," she manages.
Cloud pulls his hand away from the flat expanse of her belly and seeks out her hand. He weaves his fingers through hers, curling them together in a loose but affectionate hold. His fingertips brush the underside of her palm, and it sends a small shockwave through her body, coursing along her nerves and crashing into the most sensitive, unacknowledged parts of her body to the point that she wants to squirm where she sits.
"Tifa… I really want to know," he pushes. "I - it seemed like you were going to say something important. Please… tell me?"
Tifa feels as if her entire chest is caving in. His voice is low and soft and there is something knowing and pleading behind his words as if he has been just as caught up in her feelings as she is. He can't possibly know where her thoughts have been headed, can he?
She shivers, hesitating again, hearing nothing but the gusts of wind and her own heartbeat.
"Cloud…" She whimpers, and then she covers her face with her hands, mortified and afraid, but desperate to let it out all the same.
Cloud tightens his grip on her hand and gives her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. She tries to breathe but the air seems to be beyond her grasp. She is torn in a cyclone of emotions, one direction pulling her back into herself to hide her secrets, the other urging her to let them spill forth.
Before she can properly decide how she wants to react, she feels Cloud take her chin, guiding her to look at him over her shoulder. His eyes are bright, and his lips are turned down in a familiar pout, a look he's given her before whenever he found himself pleading with her for something. It absolutely ruins her, and if she weren't already sitting, it surely would have brought her to her knees.
"You know you can talk to me," he reminds her, his lips blood kissed and boyishly resplendent, and she is suddenly overtaken by the urge to kiss them.
She averts her eyes instead, shaking her head back and forth. She shifts slightly in his hold so that she can lay her cheek against his chest. His sweater is soft and his body is firm and warm, and his arms tighten around her, letting her know he's there for her in any way she needs him.
She breathes in his scent, and it gives her a little bit of strength. There is something about this closeness they are sharing that is beginning to shave away some of her earlier doubts. She goes over the script she's crafted and rehearsed in her head, trying to find the best way to say what she's holding on to.
"I…" she pauses, closing her eyes and forcing herself through her fears. "We've been friends so long, Cloud, and that makes this really hard."
Cloud stiffens and shifts behind her a bit, tilting his face closer to hers, clearly intrigued by what she has to say. His hold on her doesn't waver, though, in fact, it seems that he is pulling her in even tighter.
"Makes what hard?" he asks in a whisper.
Tifa swallows the hard lump of anxiety that has grown into tumbleweed in her throat. She lets a beat pass between them, trying to find the gentlest way to let her feelings escape, searching for a way that won't create too many ripples in the water of their friendship.
"I… I'm just really glad you're here, Cloud. I'm glad you're back."
Cloud relaxes a little but he shifts behind her again, lowering his face by her shoulder. She nearly leaps out of her skin when she feels the side of his face nuzzle her bare skin there, the point of his nose digging into her flesh.
"You've already told me that once before," he whispers into her skin. "That really what you took me out on this date tonight to tell me?"
Tifa's heart which has been hammering away in her chest suddenly stops. There's a teasing edge to his words, and then, his lips brush over that heated space above her tank top's strap and Tifa realizes something terrifying.
He knows.
She closes her eyes and wants to weep. If she had been scared and embarrassed before, she is now beside herself with fear and teetering into complete humiliation. Feeling flames melt away her cheeks, she wants to cover her face with her hands but her body is suddenly frozen and numb and she has no idea what to do, completely unprepared for this situation and wishing she had never stopped by his room in the first place.
He called it a date.
"Well?" he prompts her when she is still sitting there, mute between his legs. "What's on your mind, Tifa?"
His voice is too soft and Tifa just feels herself falling apart from the inside out. He gives her another encouraging squeeze, and Tifa breathes out a deep sigh and tilts her head back, letting it hit his shoulder.
Okay, she thinks. You can do this. You're here now, and this might be your only chance.
"I meant…" she picks up, her voice shaky in the quiet, still night air. "I really like being with you, Cloud."
Cloud lets go of her hand at that, returning it to the front of her body. He uses both to pull her back into him, and they wander, the warmth of his palms crossing over the front of her body and finding the crease of her waist.
"Yeah?" he huffs in her ear, and his breath leaves a trail that sends flames through her hair and over her throat. "Like this?"
She's squirming against him again, and all it does is alert her to the fact that he's steel behind her, pressing into the soft flesh of her bottom beneath her skirt.
Oh shit.
"Y-yes," she admits, her trepidation quickly being replaced by desperate longing. That Cloud so evidently wants her too is only heightening her own sensitivity to her desires, and suddenly she no longer cares about their frozen gondola or the frightening darkness that surrounds them. She is hot and oversensitive and feverish for him, the heat of his body and the sweetness of his words setting her alight.
Cloud is getting eager because his hands are traveling and to Tifa's great surprise, he starts to press the softest of kisses into her hair, her cheek, and her shoulder, showering her with affection. Her nipples are stiff and Tifa realizes with a fair degree of mortification that she is growing slick between her legs. It isn't the first time it's happened around him, of course - but it is the first time it's happened when she's been so close to him and his hands are all over her.
Those hands are seeking but he isn't so bold as to touch her anywhere other than her tummy, her waist, her shoulders. He's purposefully avoiding those sacred, feminine parts of her body, the parts that are now aching for him and making her wish she had confessed weeks ago.
"We're friends," he whispers gently, his thumb toying at the hem of her tank top, just above her ribcage. "That won't ever change. But Tifa… we don't have to only be friends."
His thumb slides under the band of elastic that's holding her breasts in place, and Tifa expels a soft breath, disbelieving what she is hearing.
"I could be your boyfriend," Cloud continues, and the words are more breath than sound, landing right against her earlobe.
Tifa is sure she is turning into a puddle. She feels herself disintegrate as if every atom in her body is splintering off one by one and bonding itself to him where he sits behind him. Her thoughts are in a daze, and she cannot fathom that this boy who she's quietly been in love with for so long, who has always been so distant and still seems like he is leagues away from her, is telling her he wants to be her boyfriend.
Maybe she died and went to heaven when the lights of the Gold Saucer went out.
Cloud is breathing softly behind her, waiting for her to reply. He is still holding her tight, and he is warm and solid and the most stabilizing force she's ever felt. But she can feel a subtle trembling course through his body and she knows that maybe, despite his boldness, he is just as nervous about what is happening here as she is.
It forces her to focus, and she brings her arms up and her hands find his forearms where they are crisscrossed over her body in his embrace. She squeezes them gently and leans back, letting herself sink into his hold.
"I would like that," she finally replies. "I would really like that, a lot."
She feels Cloud smile against her cheek, and then he is nuzzling her all across her shoulder and her neck, giggles bubbling from her throat. Her words have eased any insecurities he may have been carrying because his hands are moving again and his lips are finding her skin.
"You know what boyfriends do for their girlfriends, Tifa?" he asks her after a moment, two fingers now toying with the hem of her top.
"No," she replies, even though she's imagined it a hundred different ways. "I've never had one before."
Cloud laughs so lightly behind her that Tifa almost isn't even sure of the sound, but his arms squeeze her tighter in response. He kisses her cheek, lets a trail of them find their way to her throat, setting her on fire.
"They take care of them," he breathes into her skin. "Keep them safe. Make them feel good."
His lips are fire, finding her shoulder and then walking back to her throat. His words set off something wild in her, and Tifa aches between her thighs, wanting so badly for him to make her feel good.
"Oh," she breathes out, unable to form a more suitable response.
Cloud lifts a hand to her hair, combing his fingers through it before he brushes the heavy long wave of it completely out of the way, gathering it into his fist. It makes more room between their bodies, no longer a silk barrier between them as he tosses it over her shoulder. He pulls her flush against him then, both hands returning to her waist.
"Want me to make you feel good, Tifa?" he asks her.
His voice is even lower than before and it sends goosebumps all across her skin. The breeze blows by and Tifa feels the sting of the chill, and she presses her body even closer to his warmth, shifting slightly so that she can look up at him.
She can imagine a hundred different ways she should interpret that question, and all of them leave her lit up inside, her core clenching at every thought. But Cloud is nuzzling her again, his lips trailing her jaw.
"Y-yes," she answers timidly, unsure of what she is really agreeing to. But it is Cloud and she trusts him and she wants everything she can get from him, will take anything he's willing to give her.
Especially if he is her boyfriend.
"Can I kiss you?" is his response.
The fact that he asks only reduces her to an even bigger pool of liquid, and she turns in closer so that she can face him better. Her shoulder is to the firm wall of his pecs, and she can feel their ripples and lines beneath his sweater.
"I would like that," she tells him, offering him a smile, unable to resist the urge to be coquettish with him when he is so smooth like this.
Cloud smirks victoriously in reply, and then he leans forward, one arm caging her between his thigh and the bench to their left as he grips the lip of it in his hand. She is still centered between his thighs, but now she is trapped under him, nothing surrounding her but the warmth of his body and the darkness of the night and the searing blue-green glow of his eyes.
She's trying to process all of the multiple assaults on her senses as he crowds her, but she sees his eyes close in front of her, and then, his lips are on hers. They are warm and soft, the softest thing she thinks she's ever felt in her life. She leans back against the heat of the inside of his thigh and drops one hand to the top of it, the other reaching up to grasp his wrist where he's still holding on to the bench beside her head.
Tifa has never been kissed before. She's never given boys the time of day, no matter how hard they pursued her with their advances. Romance has never really been on her mind, not since she's been in Midgar. She's always kept that part of herself hidden away, saving it for someone special.
And now she has him, and he's hovering over her fifteen hundred feet above ground with his lips pressed to hers.
Despite his willingness to push them past this boundary, Cloud is a shy kisser. He nips and pecks and presses, but he doesn't demand too much, at least not at first. Butterflies roll through Tifa's stomach when she feels his bare hand clamp around her waist, transmitting more of its warmth, and his tongue slides between her lips.
Tifa parts them, feeling her body electrify in response to him. She badly wants more, and she can't stop herself from reaching an arm up and around his neck, anchoring herself to him. She moans lightly into his mouth when his tongue brushes against her lip, and the sounds seem to do something to him because he is kissing her with a little more fervor and wildness then.
"You taste so good," he whispers, pulling away from her slightly and opening his eyes again.
Tifa hears herself whimper. She's embarrassed now because her nipples are so hard that they hurt and she is wet wet wet between her thighs. She'd give anything for him to touch her there. But she knows she can't say that, so she just stares up at him, her lips swollen and damp from his kisses, her eyes transfixed by that oasis of blue that shines over her.
"You're a good kisser," she tells him, compelled to return the compliment.
Cloud is smirking at her again, his eyes passing over her body before they journey back to her face. "And just how much experience are you judging me against?" he asks.
His voice is light and teasing, but Tifa sees the flames behind his eyes and knows that his question is serious. She holds his gaze for a moment, licking her lips as she looks up at him.
"None," she answers him quietly. "You're the first boy who's ever kissed me."
Cloud's eyebrows go up a little at this, but he holds his smirk. His eyes wander again, and Tifa can feel the way that he's drinking her in. She thinks she can see his thoughts pass through his eyes, and finally, he settles on one.
"I guess you're in luck," he tells her softly. "You're the first girl I've ever kissed."
Tifa feels her face flush and her entire body is flooded with heat, and she wonders if Cloud would ever lie to her about something like this. She finds it too hard to believe that a man who looks like him and carries the charm that he does, a SOLDIER, hasn't kissed any girls before. But even though his expression is smug, it is earnest, and she knows that he is telling the truth.
"I'm glad," she murmurs, pressing her body closer to his in a silent plea to keep their connection going.
Cloud hears her because his hands start wandering and he is soon holding her against him again, this time letting his hand fall to the front of her body while the other keeps her cradled close. He nudges her head to one side and his lips attack the side of her throat, eagerly spilling kisses and gentle sucks to it. Tifa can't help but moan, and when the gondola sways, she feels its lurch. But she is past caring, sinking deep into the feeling of being with Cloud this way.
His hand squeezes her waist and returns to her ribcage, finding the band of elastic below her breasts. He thumbs it, then raises his palm to cup one breast in hand. He squeezes its softness gently, and his lips find her cheek when he brushes his thumb over her nipple.
"Is this okay?" he asks her softly, breath rushing across the tender strip of flesh just below her jawline.
Tifa shivers, and it's not because the wind blows by again. Cloud's hands on her body make her feel as if thunderstorms are living in her body, raging with their electricity and their winds and rain through every limb. Her head is swimming, and she's squirming again, disbelieving that even the most listless of touches could bring such feelings out of her.
"Yes," she hears herself whine in reply.
Cloud is motivated by her response because his hands are everywhere again. They both pin the back of her body to the front of his again, and they are quickly rolling her tank top and her bra up over her breasts. She gasps out loud when her skin greets the cool night air, her nipples stiffening even further, but Cloud quickly covers them both with his palms, rubbing circles into her skin.
"You're so soft," he whispers into her ear. "Every part of you feels so nice…"
Cloud is usually a man of limited words, so she has never imagined him as an intimate talker. But the more heated things grow between them, Tifa realizes, the more it seems he has to say.
His words make her flush, and all she can do is moan in response to him, shifting in his hold that is so warm and secure.
His hands are squeezing the fullness of her breasts and his lips are trailing her throat, forcing Tifa to tip her head back against his shoulder and squirm. Achingly, she whimpers and moans, eager for his hands to grow more demanding as they search. Clever fingers roll over each of her nipples, pinching hard and sending the throb straight to the warmth of her core. She parts her thighs, pressing each of them up against Cloud's, bending her legs at the knees.
"You want more?" he asks her, breath escaping through his teeth as he nips lightly at the tight space below her earlobe. She shifts and twirls her hips eagerly, feeling his erection press into the curve of her rear.
"Mhm," she moans, only able to imagine it the way she has in a hundred of her daydreams.
Cloud seems to understand the needy longing in her wordless response because he starts leaving kisses and sucks in a stripe along her throat. One hand keeps its attention focused on her breast, but the other slides and lowers, fingers dancing lightly down the dip in the center of her abdomen.
"Your body is amazing…" Cloud mumbles through another kiss, and the praise just unfolds her, Tifa arching her back and praying that he moves that hand a little lower. He does, but he takes his time, hand splaying out across the soft leather of her skirt before he reaches for its hem and folds it up towards her waist, leaving her exposed. She'd forgone her shorts that night - there were no battles to be fought and now she realizes her foresight may have been quite intentional. She feels the shift of the desert winds hit her flesh and the soft heat of her panties, Cloud's hand making a conscious grip of her thigh.
Tifa can't stop the way her moans fall out of her, everything growing despairingly hot inside of her. She's puffing out breaths and her back has formed an impossible arch, Cloud fighting her by pressing her body back against his. It creates a wild, insatiable push and pull between them, and there is not enough space in this gondola for Tifa to spread herself out properly for the access she wants to give him.
Cloud growls a guttural sound across her shoulder, following up with a bite, his fingers drawing absent patterns into her inner thigh. He is so close to the ache of her arousal that she closes her eyes and stretches her entire body out against him, one hand reaching behind her so she can grab a tuft of his soft yellow hair and pull him in over her shoulder for a kiss.
Cloud laughs softly against her lips and Tifa cannot imagine what is funny, she is so stunted through a blaze of steadily rising pleasure. But he indulges her and they kiss and kiss, and Tifa never wants to stop. All of her dreams are coming true and she has almost forgotten where they are sitting at the moment.
Those deft, languid fingers drift inward from her thigh, finding the clothed space of the heat between her legs. Tifa tries to widen her thighs even further, banging her knees against the benches on either side. Cloud laughs almost inaudibly again at this, more hot breath than sound against her mouth.
"How long have you been wanting this?" he asks her earnestly, but the tenor of his voice plunges her deeper into lust. Tifa has been a sucker for the sound of his voice since the first time she heard it after he woke up at the train station, but this particular cadence sends her places that are unimaginable, sexy, and scorching. Her lips tremble against his and she rolls her hips again, desperate for his hands to stroke her.
"Since I found you again," she whispers needily to him, devouring his mouth with another hot kiss. Despite her lack of experience, Cloud wrestles something forlorn and provocative out of her, and while she cannot believe the way she is behaving, she is powerless to stop herself.
Cloud holds all the power, she realizes, and the thought of this just ignites her further, her passion for him entering a dangerous territory. She can feel his smirk against her lips, and he praises her response by drawing a slow line over the wet heat of her underwear, bottom to top.
"Me too," he growls into her ear.
Tifa nearly collapses from the searing pleasure. She's never been touched there before - never been touched in such erotic ways ever, in fact - and it sends signals of wildness straight to her brain. She snaps her eyes shut again and moans into Cloud's mouth, and he swallows the sound with another rough kiss.
"Cloud, oh, oh," she whines, clawing at his scalp with one hand and his forearm with the other.
"Shh," he scolds her gently, his mouth moving to her cheek. "You like this, Tifa?"
"Please," is the only way she can respond.
He seems to appreciate her quiet begging, because his thumb is rubbing at her hidden spot, flicking through thin fabric while his longer fingers dig into her thighs. He pinches her nipple again, rolling it between two fingers, and the dual sensations make her so open for him that she wants to cry, wants to do anything for this man if only he would make her feel the pleasure she is so desperate for.
He rubs and presses hard, and as Tifa rewards him with barely contained whimpers and tiny little cries, Cloud slides her panties to the side. Tifa presses each of her booted feet against the benches, trying to spread herself even more to him. Cloud notices her struggle and he hooks his arm under her right thigh, stretching it back and snaking his hand under her bottom, his fingers finding their way back to the slick heat of her pussy.
"Better?" he asks her with another kiss to her collarbone.
Tifa tries to respond, but Cloud's index and middle fingers are caressing her slit, parting her folds. She hears his breath hitch as he strokes, his fingers exploring and becoming drenched as he realizes how that part of her body is reacting. He nuzzles his face against her skin again and breathes heavily across the nape of her neck.
"You're really wet, Tifa," he tells her, his voice soft but filled with fascination.
Tifa doesn't know what to say to that, because she is presently melting, turning boneless as Cloud's fingers find her clit and begin to rub that tender spot. The way that she desperately breathes and whines in response encourages him, because he keeps his attention there and rubs faster, pressing and drawing circles against her wet skin. She feels her body tighten, every nerve ending sliced open with shards of glass as he drives her closer and closer to a place she's never been but badly needs to find.
"Cloud, I -"
His name is a quiet hymn on her lips and Cloud responds to it by giving her even more of what she needs. His thumb attaches itself to her clit and his middle finger slides forward, slipping past the clenching rim of her opening right inside of her. Tifa coos a deep sigh at that first-ever sensation of gentle penetration, arching her back again and scraping open the flesh of his arm with her nails.
She locks her walls on his finger like a vice, and Cloud grunts and pushes it forward, digging and pressing. Her vision fills with stars and she cries, kicking one foot out in front of her while the other dangles above with the way he holds her spread open.
"So tight," Cloud croons into her ear, and he presses into a spot inside of her that unravels her, the sounds she makes incoherent as he sets a rhythm with the motion of his hand.
She is climbing fast and hard, and Cloud's heavy breathing and grunts of satisfaction behind her only make her that much hotter. He gives her nipple another twist and then rolls the flat of his palm across both of them, his thumb still stroking her nub and his finger still poking that disastrous little spot inside of her. He is harder than mythril behind her and the sensation of his firm length against her bottom awakens her to the realization that an even more fulfilling part of his body could be touching that part of her right now.
"Cloud," she whimpers, turning back to him, her vision blurred by the lust that's infecting her blood. Her sense of judgment may not be totally sound with what she is about to say, but her feelings and her desires are eclipsing her normally logical senses. This may be the only time they get to go on a date with so much ahead of them on this journey, and Tifa, for once, wants to live in the moment. She wants to experience everything and anything that she can with Cloud, this boy who has quietly lived in her heart for so many years and who has awakened the low-burning embers of her soul with a fiery eruption of passion these last few weeks.
She maneuvers so that she can turn a little in his arms and face him, lowering her leg from where he's kept it propped up. His finger is still buried inside of her but he's stopped manipulating her body, is now focusing his attention on her face and what he has to say. His eyes are low-lidded and his face is flushed, and Tifa knows that he is just as worked up as she is, maybe even more so, but he's holding himself back just to please her and the thought of this ruins her.
She has to have him, now.
"Yeah?" he rasps, catching her eyes in the moonlight.
Tifa bites her lip and looks away shyly, trying to find her nerves. Her thoughts are twirling in a thousand directions, her cheeks warm and her fingertips numb.
"I want more," she whispers.
Cloud eyes widen only slightly but that infectious glow pulses, lighting up like fireflies are fluttering within. She watches as he carefully licks his lips, and his hand slides away from her sex, leaving her empty as he holds her by the waist.
"Tifa," he breathes in a very measured tone. "You have to tell me exactly what that means."
Tifa can see that Cloud is struggling, and the prospect of helping him unleash his fevered tension as badly as she needs her own alleviated solidifies her decision and bolsters her confidence. She pulls away from him, turning to get onto her knees as she faces him and crawls closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I want you inside of me," she purrs against the base of his throat.
Cloud rumbles a response that has no coherency, his hands traveling up her back. They find their way into her hair, and he gently pulls her head back so that she can face him again.
"Here?" he practically growls, his eyes wilder than ever. "I can take you back to my room, Tifa… we should do it the right way, on a bed… you deserve -"
Tifa silences him by kissing him. Cloud is such a romantic and a gentleman under that frosty and stern exterior, and the thought of it only further incinerates her bones and sets loose brushfires of desire inside her. It is his turn to moan into her mouth, taken aback by her brazenness.
"I want it now," she clarifies when she breaks away from him. "We can do it again in your room but I need you right now."
She has never been more frantic and distraught for anything, the despairing need for release beginning to fog and mystify her thinking. Cloud rubs the center of her back as he stares back at her with blue eyes that are wild, and he gives her a little nod, his gaze sweeping over her again as if to make sure she's truly okay.
"You sure?"
His tone tells her it's the last time he's going to ask.
"I'm sure," she readily agrees.
Cloud breathes out a sigh and closes his eyes as if he is summoning something. Tifa isn't quite sure what it is, but Cloud is wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up, pushing his way to his feet and swiftly finding a seat on the gondola's bench.
Tifa feels the sway of her insides, and she can't avoid the impulse to look back out the window when they are no longer on the floor. The night is still black and the lights are still out, the moon and stars above the desert sands the only streamers of light. Her acute fears lace inside of her, and with the thrum of pleasure still bleating inside of her nerves, she is suddenly trapped in a frenzy of feelings and sensations. Cloud notices the way that her body tenses and he holds her tight, shifting her into his lap with her legs on either side of him as he spreads his knees.
"Try to relax," he tells her. "Just hold on to me. You don't have to do anything but hold me."
"Okay, she whispers, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face against the inside of his throat.
"I've never done this before," Cloud admits shakily, and she doesn't know why he sounds so embarrassed. She can't imagine him saying anything else that would make her happier than this.
Well, maybe a few things.
"Me either," she confesses, and Cloud kisses her cheek, rubs her back. Then his hand is back between her legs where her panties are still swiped out of his way, and he is rubbing her again, lining his fingers with the sopping slickness of her folds.
She purrs, his touch so welcome, pure divinity that she can never get enough of. He nudges her face gently with his, encouraging her to look at him so he can kiss her again. It only makes the way he toys with her so much sweeter, because he treats her with such love and such care.
Tifa tries to help by finding the buckles of his belts, sloppily opening them with her fingers while he sucks at her bottom lip and her tongue dances across his. His hips shift and jerk under hers when she finds his cock, and she is stunned when she frees it from his shorts, feeling its length and its thickness.
He is big, and now she is scared.
Cloud knows her so well because he senses her hesitation and his hand falls over her where she is holding him. He takes his length out of her hand and kisses her softly.
"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, "So I'm gonna try to go slow. Let's hope the lights don't come on any time soon."
Tifa laughs lightly at that, and it helps ease the tautness that is woven through her entire form.
Cloud smirks and kisses his smile into her cheek, gently pumping his cock in hand before he rubs the head of it against her clit. Tifa gasps and holds him tighter around his shoulders, widening her thighs over him as the sizzling sensations race up through her body where their touch connects. She feels the split of his flesh kissing her most sensitive, tiniest little spot, and as stars fill her vision, she wonders how something she had once been too mortified to even think about could make her feel like she was alive, like she was finally unveiling her truest self.
"Feels… so good," Cloud grouses, his breath disrupting her hair.
Tifa moans in agreement and Cloud lowers his tip to her opening, gently pushing inside. He moves slowly, and they are both concentrating so hard that they grow still and silent, holding their breaths. Tifa can hear nothing but the light whistle of the wind and her heartbeat and Cloud's raspy pants, and she closes her eyes and focuses on what is happening in that sacred place she'd been keep guarded for so long, waiting for someone special.
Waiting for him.
He presses into her slowly, stretching her, her wetness guiding each inch. She is on the lookout for an onset of pain, stories she's heard women in the slums trade coming to mind. But the horror she is expecting never comes. All she can feel is a stretch and a pull, and while it is slightly disruptive and a little bit uncomfortable, it is the kind of discomfort that just takes some getting used to. It is like the ache of a new yoga position or the increase of weights when training, and Tifa doesn't mind this test of her body at all, in fact, she welcomes it.
She slides her feet against the wall of the bench, trying to open up further. Cloud is still taking his time and he looks so concerned. Tifa kisses him messily, clawing her fingers into his hair.
"You feel so good," she praises him this time, and she is desperate to sink herself completely on his cock, wanting to feel him touch that part of her that his finger had found before. This already feels amazing, but her imagination runs wild at that prospect. "Please, Cloud. You're so big and this feels soooo good. I want all of you."
Cloud growls and tips his head back, then pulls down on her hips with both hands. He jerks up at her at the same time, and the dual movements result in a wicked thrust that has him touching her deep. Tifa can't stop the wail that she lets out, and she realizes that she may have bitten off more than she can chew.
"Shhhhh," Cloud chastises her softly against her ear, then kisses her hard on the mouth.
Tifa whimpers in response, her walls contracting over him. She is so full that all she can see are spots and all she can feel is him, his hands on her hips and his body firm against hers, his hard masculinity filling a part of her where she now wants him to live. She shimmies her hips a little, wanting to feel more, but Cloud steadies her her with his hands gripping her bottom.
"Let me take care of you," he tells her. "You just hold on and enjoy the ride."
Tifa does exactly what he tells her. She realizes at that precise moment that Cloud controls things when they are like this and she is more than happy to listen to his every command. He controls things the same way he does when they are in battle, and this thought only makes her wilder, her pussy clenching and dripping over him as he makes her crazed with lust.
One palm rests against her clit while he begins to grind up inside of her, his hand at her hip holding her flush to him. He is scraping deep and pleasure is running wires from both points of connection, spinning together inside of her and hitting her brain as if it is an open minefield. She scrapes at his shoulders, tearing new cuts into them.
"Oh, Cloud - oh…"
She can't quite make out anything beyond that, his thrusts up into her growing wilder, his eyes brighter than she's ever seen. Her own meet his, and she can see the explosive desire and concentration in his gaze. She whines and keens even louder, no longer worried about who might hear. Cloud's expression is untamed and almost savage, and when Tifa leans in to kiss him, hoping it will soften him, it has the opposite effect.
Abruptly, he rises to his feet, carrying her with him and keeping them connected. He carefully lowers Tifa to the bench, sliding one knee atop it while the other foot is firmly planted to the floor. His pants slide past his hips and he drags his shirt up to his chin in an effort to cool himself off, but all it does is expose the precise sculpture of his torso that is lined with sweat. Tifa thinks she's stopped breathing.
"Fuck," Cloud swears, and while his vulgarity is nothing new to her, the way that it escapes his lips this time betrays the way that she is making him feel and she loves it.
She can't enjoy that thought for too long though because Cloud is holding one of her legs up high by her ankle, plunging himself into her. His strokes are long and deep, and he has found that place inside of her that throws her straight into the abyss. She cries his name out, arching her back and turning her face from side to side.
"Cloud!"
He covers her mouth with one hand but says nothing, just fucks her into oblivion while she stares up at him, her weepy moans muffled by his palm. His eyes are hazed over, but he is focused, and Tifa doesn't even know what is happening when soon she is coming and coming hard.
"Tifa…"
She clenches his cock, trying to hold it inside of her as she sobs. She rides her orgasm over his final thrusts, and just before he comes, Cloud pulls out of her and leaves his mess all over the floor. Tifa thinks nothing of this, can only see a stark white canvas blur her vision, can only feel the ripples of euphoria disintegrate through every cell in her body. She has never experienced anything like this before and she is shattered, unsure of how she will ever be able to pull herself back together again.
Mercifully, she has him. Cloud groans, blinking through his own river of bliss, and he pulls away from her slowly. He expels a breath, then fixes his pants, finding a seat on the bench as he reaches for her.
Tifa realizes that her limbs have been reduced to ash, and so she is grateful for the way that he pulls her body in close to his, lowering her legs and fixing her skirt. When she is sitting upright again, he wraps his arms around her body and hugs her.
Hard.
Tifa lets him hold her, and she wraps her arms around his waist, hugging him back. She drops her head to his chest, and Cloud is squeezing her and nuzzling his face into her hair.
"That was so good, Tifa," he rumbles after a moment. "I… was it okay for you too?"
Tifa shivers just thinking about it. Already, in the back of her mind, she is devising a scheme to get this to happen again and soon, maybe as soon as when they return to the hotel tonight. "So good, Cloud," she answers him. "The best."
"I really wanted our first time to be special," he is confessing to her. "You should have had a bed and flowers, some wine, something nice…"
"Really?" Tifa is surprised. "You really thought about all that?"
"Of course," he mutters nonchalantly, and now he is carding his fingers through her hair. "I've thought about it for a long time. You deserve the best, Tifa."
"That was the best," she reminds him, kissing his cheek.
Cloud chuckles bashfully, and they stay there on the bench, holding each other silently for long moments while the afterglow of their love clings to them. Tifa can feel the way the breeze chills the sweat in her skin, but it doesn't matter to her, not when Cloud is holding her so tight after he just made her feel a level of ecstasy she has only visited in her darkest dreams.
They hold onto each other for so long that they forget their present circumstances and are both almost alarmed when the power in the Gold Saucer returns. Generators snap and hum, and the gondola shifts as lights all around them come back to life. The fireworks begin again, and after sitting in the dark for so long, all of the lights around them are blinding.
Cloud holds Tifa with an arm around her waist as the gondola gets moving again, and she relaxes in his hold. This time, she isn't afraid to peer beyond the window at the sights below. She realizes she is no longer quite so afraid of heights.
She has her boyfriend, after all, and he always makes sure she's okay.
