Title: Family Portrait

Author: BlazeorFade

Rating: T

Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.

Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.

Sam Winchester-2

Jack is a sarcastic smart ass who dances around the truth as much as she can sometimes and yet so brutally honest at other times. I swear there were times when she was telling us about what happened to her where I just wanted to ask her to stop. But that would have been selfish and I've been accused of being a selfish bastard enough already. So I listened, I wasn't sure if it was alright to hug her or anything, somehow the revelation made her seem stronger and more fragile at the same time. I didn't know if it was okay to touch her after that though. But then Dean, Dean of all people, wrapped his arms around her and it kind of shocked me out of that line of thinking.

Jack gave me a few more memories of Jess that weren't burning and pain. Second hand memories, but that doesn't matter. Just knowing that she was okay makes me feel better. I'll never forgive myself but I think I might be able to live with some this unending guilt. I'll always be grateful for that.

After the rescue Jack stopped sleeping in separate rooms. Now we have a cot brought up from the motel management when we can or we figure something else out. Its a tight squeeze but a better arrangement. Don't know how long we'll do that for. Maybe Jack will want to go back to the other way when she's all healed up. Till then though she doesn't leave me or Dean's sight for more than a few minutes. As you can guess this ends up in our fair share of arguments but since Jack has gotten more protective over us as well, it usually ends in half hearted name calling.

Dad got an edited account of what happened in Oklahoma. He doesn't know it was Jack's ex or about her past. That stays between us. I feel like I dropped the ball, not knowing just how bad things must've been. Dean noticed more than me.

Jack has a side she doesn't show often. She likes to read. I couldn't believe it either. Its hard to imagine her sitting still long enough to read a book. But now that I've seen that she doesn't sit still even for that it makes more sense to me. Mostly adventure books and horror, Dean laughs about it. As if we don't have enough of those in our lives. I always wonder what it might have been like for her and Dean if things were different, if they would have gone to college and things like that if we weren't hunters. That's even harder to imagine.

Jack reads those letters at least once a week. I asked why once. Didn't it hurt? She said she didn't want to forget him. She's let her guard down enough to feel comfortable reading them in the backseat when we're driving instead of locking herself away to do it. Its a self preservation technique, keeping those close. If I had something of Jess's to keep close at all times I would.

Jack's one of the toughest people I've ever met and coming from a guy who grew up around Demon hunters and the like, that's saying something. The things that sucker punch her are the human things. The fucked up shit that had nothing to do with the supernatural and everything to do with feelings and vulnerability. How can I protect her form those kind of things? The answer is simple. I can't and it frustrates the living hell out of me.

Jack doesn't like being touched by most people. After awhile that changes a little. Letting me check her stitches, wrestling around with Dean, sings of affection and trust that take the place of hugs and words. Trust is such a huge issue, I feel like its one step forward and two steps back gaining it. I know she knows I'll be there in a fight, always backing her up but when its that 'real' stuff….damn.

"Sam, your thinking too much, its making my head hurt." Jack says when I walk out onto the porch of the place we've been laying low in.

"Haha." I say and she scoots over so I can sit down on the steps next to her.

"Wanna take a break from training today?" Jack asks. Yes I do, I'm exhausted and the lessons take a lot out of me.

"If you want." I say shrugging. She rolls her eyes.

"How do you find out about your ability?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. Yes those are teeth marks on my knees from where I swallowed my foot and the rest of my leg. Jack tenses up. Its too soon, I think, she told us the worst of her past and its too soon to ask her to dredge up memories again.

"I was taken from my uncle when I was around five. Did I ever tell you that?" Jack says.

"No." I answer, think I would have remembered that.

"Yeah it was hit or miss the first few years with him and someone made the phone call. They placed me with a family and they were nice enough but they weren't mine." Jack continued. "Anyway I got in a fight with one of the other foster kids and the foster mother said something about it being my poor upbringing to blame. I got so mad and it just happened. Nothing big but the curtains caught on fire. A couple days later I was back home."

"Were you scared?" I ask.

"Yeah." Jack says.

"How did you find out about yours, I know you moved a dresser or something but why did you need to?" Jack asks.

"Dean was in trouble and it just came out." I answer. No other explanation needed. She knows. "When I needed it awhile back it wouldn't work. And Dean almost died." This last part I can't meet her eyes when I say it.

"I hated it when he first died. I thought if it couldn't have helped him then what good was it?" Jack confided.

"How'd you get over that?" I ask eagerly.

"I helped my friends with it." She smiles and I know she means me and Dean as well as her friends in Birmingham.

"Help me inside." She says getting to her still sensitive feet. I wrap an arm around her waist and help her inside. And she lets me.

-Fin