Part Two: Shadow Man

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Chapter Eleven: Promising Kiss

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She woke up that morning with no warmth in her bed, and she sat up, confused as she slowly rubbed the sleep from her eyes. When she could clearly see her surroundings, she noticed that there was an envelope on her bed and her name was written on it in what was obviously made by Shade's hand. She grabbed it over, turned it over so that she could open it, and her fingers hesitantly tore at the paper, afraid to see what was inside. To her relief, it was nothing more than a simple note and she unfolded the paper so she could read it:

My Dearest Sam, I write this for you so that when you wake, you shall know that I did not leave you out of my own free will. I am so sorry, but no matter how hard I try, I still cannot be in the daylight. However, I am still in your dreams, with you as soon as the sun sets, and even though I cannot be around in those lonely afternoons, I think of you every single minute, every second. I swear that someday I'll be there when you open your eyes and the first thing you see is me, but for now, while you're still deciding, I have to retreat and leave you alone in the mornings. So, we can't have any fun before school, no breakfast, and no daily shower. I miss you, I think of you always, and eagerly await to be with you again. –Shade

She held that note, stared at it, memorized the ink, the way it flowed across the page, pressed it close to her heart. She closed her eyes and remembered how that man held her last night, how he had whispered to her almost desperately how much he loved her and that she was the only thing that kept him living. She was the only person for him in this world and was all he needed. It was the absolute truth and she knew that there were no lies around him. He didn't hide things from her. He didn't hide his love for her and he also didn't hide his hate for Danny Fenton. And still…it wasn't feeling like enough any more. Not enough, and she crushed that letter she held so close to her heart until it was nothing but a small ball. Crushing it wasn't enough for her, and instead she began to tear it apart, slowly at first, and then faster and faster until there wasn't anything left to rip apart. The note lay in ruins in front of her on the bed and she felt so cold again inside.

She knew whom she belonged with now. It didn't hurt anymore. She didn't feel so indecisive, and it made her feel so free.

She took in a deep breath and went to her bathroom.

She had been with him that night, slept throughout the whole day, woke up Sunday night to him again, and then slept until Monday morning. Danny must have been recovering from his injuries. She was happy that he never came for her. That meant he was safe. That meant he wasn't getting hurt. Thank God and so she wouldn't see him today either, she wouldn't let him get hurt anymore.

The light switch flicked on and the harsh light was a welcoming pick-me-up, a safer alternative than instantly addicting coffee; a little more awake now, she shed her pajamas and turned on the water so it was warm and steam filled the room. She stepped in and hissed as the water hit her sore spots: hickeys on her neck, back, some bruises here and there, and that cut on her wrist. She figured it would have healed by now, just one little cut, but it hadn't. It was still as red and bright as ever, and it hurt like hell. Why was that? Was it doing this because she wanted it to serve as a reminder of the horrible person that she was?

Once again, in all her years as the female social outcast of Casper High, she was thinking too damn much.

She sank down to the floor of the tub and let the water pitter patter against her skin. She made it even hotter and it was scalding on her back now, but she didn't care; after a while, after her skin pruned and the water ran cold, she turned off the shower and got out, wrapping the biggest towel she could find around her and putting her hair away in one too. She looked at her clock, saw that it read eight in the morning and decided at that moment that she'd be late for first period, but that didn't really matter since she was skipping school anyways. She decided to play hooky that day and didn't give a damn; as soon as she had dried off, she went back to the bathroom to take another shower. They calmed her and she loved them like there was no tomorrow, and since she had so much time on her hands, she would take as many as she wanted to until she couldn't anymore, or tired of them, whichever came first. So, she grabbed the bar of soap, the one with all the micro beads in it, and scrubbed at her skin as hard as she could until it was raw. She did not care about it and enjoyed the pain it brought. She liked the intensity of it, for it made her feel more alive, more invigorated.

The water ran cold again.

She quit her shower and grabbed another fluffy towel and dried herself off, making sure she got every part of her body. She then put on her favorite robe, although she wouldn't admit it to anyone because it was large, soft, floor length, and she practically drowned in it since it was twice her size, if not three times. However, it was her favorite because it was large and downy. It wrapped her in warmth and she felt safe from that, as if nothing could break the goodness that could only come from fresh laundry that was warm and soft to the touch where a person could bury their face in the fabric and inhale its sweet, fresh scent.

Somewhat content with being clean and warm, she flopped down on her bed. Sighing heavily, she stared up at her ceiling, crawling with the posters of Brandon Lee, fire-breathing dragons, so many dark things that were all humorous at the same time. The few others that had come over who weren't Danny (Tucker didn't count in this instance) found themselves deeply disturbed. They tended to think she was psychotic, borderline on maniacal killer. However, she and Danny had always found some degree of comfort in them. They had been part of her decorum for years to the point where they had probably molded into the paint. She liked them that way.

Danny liked them too.

They were a part of her.

The small smile that had started immediately disappeared. She had thought of Danny again. Her day off and she thought of him, but of course she knew she had some major thinking to do. It was like looking through the shoebox full of pictures. She had to take it off the shelf, run her fingers through it, and sort it, piece by piece. It might take a while, but she had to do it. What had happened last night showed she just couldn't sit back and have one man in the real world and one in her dreams. It wasn't fair, to all three of them, it just wasn't fair and not saying anything would make it hurt so much. It hurt bad enough…no…she had to decide. That's what she'd do.

And so, the memories began to flow through her. She went back to the beginning, because she felt it was the best way. She let her mind wander to the day she first met Danny.

She was five again. She wore a pink dress and hated it with all her might. She didn't know why but she wanted to wear black instead. She was tiny, and the playground was enormous. She was innocent and ever so lonely because the children avoided her. Even at such a young age she was different and she was reduced to sitting alone under a tree at the edge of the playground. She wasn't even allowed on the sandy ground and it made her angry and glare at most every child that passed her way.

Then she heard an indignant shout and looked to see a boy being pushed onto the ground by two others who were much larger…and much dumber. She jumped up and ran to the defense of the little boy, yelling at the two boys, kicking them in the shins with her little tennis shoes, and they got angry but had been raised to not hit girls and walked off with a little bruising. She bent down, helping the boy up with messy jet-black hair and asked if he was okay. She was answered with a beautiful smile and a pair of the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen in her entire life.

They had hit it off instantly, and later on that day saved another boy who had been dumped into the garbage can and revealed himself to be Tucker. She found out that day she could be herself. They had fun and it was great. Of course, they met time and time again after that and even to this day, she would meet with the boys under that tree at the edge of the park.

It was a happy memory. It was a fond memory.

But then there was…"You're mine Sam, you're mine." His voice was deep, insistent. Something was holding her, pushing her into the bed. She tried to move, but only met resistance, the force pushing on her harder now. "I'll take you as my own. He can't have you." She met Shade in her nightmares. He had plagued her for nights on end, scared her half to death, raped her (in her mind) and humiliated her. That was horrible. It made her go crazy, destroy herself. Shade made her feel dark, terrified and that was her first idea of him.

Danny was happy.

Shade was frightening.

She turned onto her side and grabbed her pillows. Her bed was loaded with them. It was a girlish side in her. She happened to have a "thing" for them and collected them with a mild obsession, and since it was the only thing her parents could remember to get her on their numerous trips, she had plenty of them and they weren't even that frilly. Thank God for Oriental flair. She liked to pile them around her, burrow into them, and get lost in the puffiness that only a pillow could offer.

"But I wanted to do it," he replied. He gently took her over to the wall so that her back was pressed up against it and he pushed himself up against her body, treating her as if she were made of glass. "I love you and I wanted to show my love with a simple…rose." The last word came out as a sigh for him as he leaned down so that his lips were just touching hers. The gasp from him leaped down her throat and into her stomach where it seemed to start her body on fire, and she couldn't take it. The rose fell to the ground, completely forgotten as she closed the last centimeter between them and crushed herself against him.

Passion.

"My Sam," he whispered hotly. "Let me be with you for once. None of this violent shit." The music was gone, the twirling round and round replaced with standing still. His mouth was inches from her skin, drinking in her scent, sending Goosebumps down her arms. She gulped down the lump forming in her throat. Tears pricked at her eyes because of the decision she knew she'd make. "Be with me one time and I'll show you what I really am." He held her hands in his. Why was this so hard? How could she deny him when he had confessed that he loved her? She knew he did even though he was violent, possessive, and very obsessive. She knew that he was dangerous but her soul called out to him. What was this ache she felt deep in her heart? "And if you still hate me, I'll disappear. I can't be without you. It's as simple as that."

Lust.

"Just you…" Her stomach, just a few quick kisses there. A draw in of breath from her...And then, he tore her fingerless gloves off of her, his intention all along, and it was too late to realize what he was looking for when he found it. And there it was, the angry mark, marring the perfect, white skin. The moment was gone instantly, any feelings of passion dashed away, now replaced with fear, sadness, confusion. "It was true," he whispered. She felt shame course through her. "Oh Sam…why did you do such a terrible thing to yourself? Why?"

Sorrow.

A sigh. "I guess I win, but…it was so easy." He opted for a sexy pout instead of a sexy sly grin. "You're not as much fun as Sam. Now Sam…" There were suddenly bindings around Danny. It looked like regular chains, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't phase out of them or break them apart. He was helpless and who knew what the hell was going to happen to Sam. Shade moved over to Sam, who tried to punch him, but he swooped inside the attack so that his face was mere inches from hers, his arm pinning her left one to her side and had it wrapped around her waist. His other hand grabbed her wrist that had been part of the punch. His eyes widened and then half closed suggestively. "Kitty is lots of fun, lots and lots of fun." She turned her face away from him, disgusted. He turned back to Danny. "She's so very flexible and her skin…it's so soft, but I think you already knew that."

Terror.

"You wanted to be fucked by him, didn't you? Didn't you?" At that point, he began to tear at her top, push her skirt up to her waist, his lips on hers, that dominating, obsessed, hunger in them. And she tried not to look, but she knew he phased out of his jumpsuit, had her phased out of her clothes as well, not wanting to struggle with undressing her anymore, and he was panting hard. He whispered in her ear excitedly, "Well, he can't have you, cause I'm gonna fuck you first. Then he won't want you, and then I can have you all to myself, fuck you all I want." After saying that he would-

Rape.

He lovingly ruffled her hair and grinned. "That sounds good to me." He turned the TV on and flipped through the channels, the strange imprint in his DNA controlling him. It was impossible for him to stay at one channel for more then a few minutes. At least, that was until he would find some viewing pleasure that could capture his attention. He stopped at SciFi, softly placing the remote control on the edge of the couch. Of course it was stupid: Ghost Hunters. "I wonder if I should have them come here. That might be fun."

Simplicity.

The memories crawled through her. She looked back at all the past events, especially the ones from this week, the ones that included Shade and Danny. She sorted through her feelings for them, sorted through those memories: good, bad, and painful. So many memories, so many feelings... It was all there for her, and she looked at it all. Scents, touch, sounds… She wandered through them all with the knowledge that she was safe, that they were merely memories and they couldn't harm her, even the ones that made her heart wrench and her breath catch…

He kissed her softly, pouring himself into it, and she gave herself to him. She pulled him to her and he embraced her. The soft kisses gave way to soft touches, and then gave way to a harder kiss that left them both breathless. The soft touches became desperate tugs and pulls at clothing, ripping them off, but it didn't matter anymore because they would never wear them again anyways. Such passion that had been held back was now out. Sam had resisted because she had thought him a rapist, an evil creature, but the more she met him, the more it was increasingly clear that there was no black and white, only gray. The more she met him the more she realized that he wasn't so easy to deny. And now, there was no resistance. Both were giving themselves completely in both body and soul. It would be no other way.

She blinked and slowly withdrew herself from it all. There was the hurt yes, but there was also a fondness laced throughout many of them. Of course, the ones that had kindness were the ones that only included…

Danny.

Shade had good times in there, but it was all lust, all passion, all sex, in one form or another.

Danny was caring.

Kind.

Clumsy.

Loving.

She sat up suddenly because the answer that had been there all along. It had been so obvious and she had been so blind! She let that sin that darkness get in her way. She let it blind her and lead her astray just like its purpose had been. She was not supposed to yield to the temptation but she did, oh boy she did. She fell into it, rolled in it, and swallowed it whole. God she was an idiot, a hormonally challenged idiot, and the worse part of that was it was the guy's job to have the sexual problems. The realization of it all hit her like a train and—damn it! Idiot! She was an idiot! Fool! Moron! She didn't look, ever! She never really thought about it, let her body do the talking for her. She was a whore, a slut, and now she was ashamed of herself.

"Save me," she whispered, burying her face into her hands. "Danny. I want you to protect me now. Please come."

Her knight in shining, ectoplasmic armor…

"I love you."

Blue-eyed prince…

Her Danny. Danny Fenton.

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"Dude. What are you so bent up over?" Tucker leaned over and nudged Danny, frowning in concern. He remembered on Saturday that Danny and Sam had been inseparable. In fact, the whole student body of Casper High knew it and the young man had gotten catcalls and whistles for his daring moves. Dash hadn't shoved him into a locker, but shook his hand and told him that the boy had guts for touching a girl like that. So then why wasn't the guy happier? "I saw you and Sam leave before the dance was over. I thought you two might have gotten it on. What gives?" He pointed to the empty seat. "Did you do bad?"

"We didn't do anything," he muttered and let his head fall on his desk. He regretted the motion and sat up again, wincing at the sharp pain that hit his abdomen. He had walked home Saturday night, dirty and beaten. He had taken the long way home, giving Sam' home a wide berth. He had made it back at about one in the morning and spent all of Sunday in his bed sulking and playing video games, refusing to answer the phone or even leave, except for a bathroom break. Come Monday, his parents busted down his door- literally –and demanded that he had to go to school. He knew that Sam wouldn't be in school today and he was right. "It was bad Tucker, very bad."

"Well this sucks." Tucker crossed his arms. "The one time I have good stuff happening in my life and your guys' is about to fall apart."

Danny grinned. "Well what happened? You can't leave me hanging."

"Two words." There was a satisfied smirk now. "Fake-out make-out, well, there wasn't really any faking but there was plenty of making!" He laughed. "Awesome. Right? Valerie and I are going to the movies again on Friday and she's going to eat some lunch with me today."

"That's great!" They slapped hands. The carefree mood disappeared when Danny replied with, "But I'm afraid it'll just be the two of you today. I've…"

"It's no problem. I understand man. You've got to do your thing." He pulled out his PDA. "And I've got to do mine. Heh heh."

"Thanks Tuck." Danny put his hand on Tucker's shoulder. The bell rang, excusing them from first period and giving the halfa five minutes to get out of Casper High. "You're a really good friend and you deserve a good girl." They did their secret handshake, the one that involved fists bumping and waggling their fingers. "I'm happy for ya."

"I would be too if you just went and got the girl. Now go!" Danny did, looking around the empty hallway once before going invisible and walking out the doors with no one the wiser. "Good luck. You're gonna need it."

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He still couldn't change and fly, so he was reduced to running as fast as he could because he had acted like Mr. Depression and walked to school instead of driving or getting a ride from Jazz. So he ran to her house now and tried to ignore the throbbing pain that was in his gut. Lucky for him, Sam's place was only five blocks away. He wanted to get to her, to see her again, to hold her in his arms like he had done, to hear her speak his name again with that lopsided grin. He ached to bury his head in that small part where her neck and shoulder met and inhale her fragrant scent. He longed to taste every inch of her flesh, to feel it beneath his hands, to care for every bit of her, physically and soulfully.

There it was!

Her mansion of a home loomed up ahead. It gave him his second wind and he sprinted the short distance until he reached her door and then stopped, breathing heavily from the exertion. When he had regained his composure, he rang the doorbell. He knew that today there would be no butler that answered, no grandmother that would come on her scooter. Sunday and Monday were a day off for them and Sam actually dismissed them until Wednesday for she felt that they had no need to take care of a normally empty house. Only when Mr. and Mrs. Manson came back did the butler, maid, and chef take on their regular schedule again.

No one came down.

He rang the doorbell again, somewhat impatient this time. Sam should be up. She shouldn't be with…with…

Him.

He didn't feel like waiting anymore. He didn't want to see her come down in nothing but a sheet with her hair mussed from sleep and sex. He wouldn't take it, and summoning all of his strength, he turned intangible and flew straight up so that he would reach her balcony. He landed softly but knew that he did not need to do such a thing, for the curtains were closed and the lights off. He slid through the doors and the curtains, entering her bedroom to where it was cool and quiet. There was no music playing, no movie presentation, and best of all, no Shade. He gave a sigh of relief, and there was a movement at the bed.

"Who's there?" She sat up, a look of surprise and slight fear on her face. She saw there was no one and Danny didn't move, actually couldn't move because he was stunned. If Sam had been a visionary goddess for the Halloween Extravaganza, she truly was one at the moment. No make up adorned her and her raven hair, still slightly damp and curling around her delicate face, striking against her ivory skin. Her amethyst eyes were so very dark at the moment, glittering in the little light there was. Her robe hid her lithe body at the moment, but it made her seem so very small and fragile, and it made him want to reach out and protect her, to save her from all things scary. "I'm hallucinating again." She stood up, rubbing her eyes. "Time for another shower…" She undid the sash of her robe as she walked back to the bathroom and her milky white shoulders were exposed. "I wonder if I used all the hot water."

He couldn't stop himself anymore. He let his body come back into contact with the world, hit feet settling firmly on the floor. She had her back turned to him now and he closed the precious distance between them and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to him. She let out a gasp of shock and only relaxed when he whispered into her ear, "Sam." She turned around, staring at him in disbelief, as if he shouldn't exist. More importantly, he shouldn't have been there. They both knew it, but he couldn't stay away. "I missed you so much. I could never stop thinking of you, even if an obsessed psychotic guy who came from me. I just…wanted to be close to you." On the last few words he buried his face into her hair, inhaling her scent. He drew in a breath, for suddenly he wanted to cry. "Sam. My Sam."

"Don't do this Danny. He'll come back tonight. He'll know we were together. Then what will we do? What will happen?" She turned around, her arms circling around him, doing anything possible to get her body closer to his. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to be with him. "You skipped school. You don't like to ditch."

"Yeah, well I didn't feel very good, so I decided to get out. I can't concentrate anyways." His thumb stroked her cheek and she closed her eyes, amazed that such a simple thing could bring an enormous amount of comfort. "I have something important to tell you, but I need you to tell me something first."

His hand cupped her face now and she leaned into it, memorizing the texture, the way the palm curved, how it smelt faintly of a wooden number two pencil and aftershave. "Anything, Danny, anything. I've done so many terrible things, and to you of all people! The last I can do is tell you something."

"Who do you choose?"

Her eyes snapped open. "You mean you or Shade, right?"

"Of course. What else do I mean? Sam, it's sort of the focus point of our lives right now!"

"I know. Just making sure."

"Just stalling."

"No. I'll tell. I swear. I know, okay?" She grabbed his hand with her own, tracing the lines along his skin. "I said I'd tell you anything. It's the least I can do. I'll owe you for a long time, a very long time."

"Who is it?"

Twilight looked up at clear skies, the pure ocean. Love, lust, passion, caring, adoration, affection…it was all there. It was all in their eyes. They felt it for each other. Her calmness met his liveliness and they mingled, feeling content.

"You. It's you. Always was, always will be. I loved you when I met you. I'll never stop loving you."

He kissed her, the gentlest brushing of lips, and it was fireworks for her, but they never increased it. They were happy with being like this, barely touching, kissing so nicely. It was wonderful and they both knew it.

They were meant for each other.

And then they broke from the kiss, coming back for air; he hugged her.

"I think I know how to get rid of him."

"What?"

"I know how to make him go away for good, but I need you."

"Whatever you want, Danny, whatever you want. I promise I'll help." She gave another lopsided grin. "Say the word and I'm there."

He kissed her forehead. "That's my girl."

It was starting to end. All the suffering was going to go away. It was finally happening.

Finally.

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End Chapter

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Author's Notes: Well, this is a bit longer than the last one. Goody! So, writer's block ended because I sort of…heh…cheated. I think we all know what I'm talking about. wink, wink, nudge, nudge Okay, so what about this chapter? I hope it was okay. Come one people! I need some reviews. Please? Pretty please? Anyways, I'm going to run into a bind here soon because I'm not too sure what to do, so I want you people to tell me. Would you like another eight chapters, or do we sort of want to end it and see what the aftermath is? I would like everyone to tell me. I need to know or else I can't start up on the next chapter. It's up to you, the reader, to decide! As always, we know that I love the comments…and the criticism. Can't live without either of them and getting reviews is just like a birthday for me! Presents! They're presents! Thanks to all you faithful readers. Questions? Send them in the form of a PM. Okay. That's it! I'm in a good mood. Until next time. Ciao.

P.S. Sorry for the spacing mistakes. My Internet was being a jerk again.