With the last days of summer comes the preparations for the arrival of Otabek's older brothers. Yuri would be remiss to say he isn't worried about meeting them. He knows next to nothing about them save their names; the eldest is named after his father but goes by Khan, while the younger of the pair is Nazim. He knows they'll be here any day now, two or three according to Otabek, and Yuri is trying his best not to panic about it.
Part of him worries that they won't like him; of course he is. Yuri is first and foremost a prince, it would be horrifically shameful for them to dislike him, especially given that they're family. More than that, however, he worries about them finding something wrong in his marriage. Some misstep Yuri hasn't even thought of that will ruin either his relationship or even his life. What if they report back to King Hakan and the man is displeased?
"Something the matter?" Seung-Gil asks as he lays out Yuri's clothes for the day.
"Why do you always assume something is wrong?" Yuri groans, slumping in his seat.
"Well you aren't having sex with your husband so I think it's a fair assumption."
Yuri balks at the brazen statement, "You-… How do you know-… What!?"
"I know it because I am the one who strips your bed." He rolls his eyes. "And need I remind you that I was a field nurse? I was well aware of his lordship's habits during the days of the war and I know that if you were satisfying him you'd need at least a little bit of help. In the beginning anyway."
"In the… Seung-Gil, what are you… Are you saying I don't-"
"I'm saying you don't have sex and I assume that means you're pent up. Yes, that is what I'm saying."
"Never! Never in my life have I been spoken to in such a manner!"
"And perhaps that's why you struggle to please your husband. You northern folk refuse to talk about your intimacy as if it's something to be ashamed of instead of a part of life."
"The… Fuck you!"
"Clearly you won't." Seung-Gil gives him a smirk.
Yuri feels the heat of embarrassment and anger so fervently he feels he may faint. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I think a better question is, what's wrong with you?"
"I just…" Yuri deflates. "I haven't thought about it… I haven't… Why am I telling you this, you'll just be a brute about it anyway."
"I'm your attendant, your highness, and I can help you if you ask for it."
"Did… did you mean to imply that my husband had… whomever he pleased?" Yuri asks, his voice smaller than he had hoped it would be.
"Not whomever he pleased, he paid for such services and handsomely I might add."
"And you… treated him for… diseases?" Yuri cringes at the thought.
"Heavens no, I treated those who serviced him." Seung-Gil rolls his eyes. "From what I heard it is quite the package and he didn't always use it wisely."
"I hate this conversation," Yuri groans.
"We can finish it, if you'd prefer." Seung-Gil gives a blasé shrug of the shoulders.
"I just needed to voice that." Yuri shudders.
"I don't see what you're so worked up over, your highness. Part of your duty entails sex, need I remind you. That's how children come into the world."
"I am well aware of that, Seung." Yuri rolls his eyes.
"Then what's the matter?"
Yuri doesn't want to admit that he still feels shame and guilt over their first time. The embarrassment washes over him in a terrible wave that makes him want to gag.
"It hurt…" Yuri says softly, worrying his lip between his teeth.
"Ah." Seung-Gil nods. "I have something of a numbing cream if you'd prefer not to feel anything at all, but I don't recommend that. It can rub off on your husband and then neither of you would have any feeling throughout which would be terribly awkward. Besides, I don't think you should want to feel nothing... I have a recipe for a lubricant I'll whip up for you."
"Not-… not yet." Yuri's voice is still far too meek for his liking. "Thank you."
"Tell me when you'd like it, your highness. And do try not to be so bashful, it's seen as childish here."
Seung-Gil helps him dress and then leaves him with his thoughts. Of course, Yuri has always known that sex is a requirement of his station, especially because of his boneheaded older brother. Children have always been in the cards for him and thus so too has intimacy. It's just that… it's so odd for Yuri to think of himself as a sexual creature.
He thinks (with a shudder) about his brother, Phichit, and Chris; all of whom have been intimate before marriage and all of whom seem to be careless about it. He's not sure he wants to be careless per say, but he does want to have sex with his husband… but how can he rightly proposition such a thing after the way he treated Otabek the first time around? Will Otabek even want to have him? His lordship despised the way he went about the affair as much as Yuri did…
This whole line of thinking has him red in the face as he wanders down to the library. He chastises himself and bemoans Seung-Gil's insistence at riling him up over such matters. He hasn't the time for that.
"There you are." Otabek approaches him with a smile and pecks his forehead. "I was hoping you might post these letters for me later today if you're going into town."
Yuri finds he cannot look his husband in the eye. "Ah… yes, I'll be leaving momentarily."
"Is something the matter?" Otabek asks with a tilt of the head.
"No, certainly not."
"And are you lying to me?"
"Oh yes, I am," Yuri admits with a laugh. "Forgive me, I'm a bit more nervous than I anticipated… for the arrival of your brothers."
Otabek smirks at him, "Don't worry about them, you've faced worse things. They're harmless."
"One of them will be king someday," Yuri chuckles nervously.
"If my father releases the crown from his cold dead clutches." Otabek rolls his eyes before placing a hand on Yuri's cheek. "Don't fret, dear, Khan and Nazim are pleasant company. And if they are not, I will deal with them."
Yuri chances a glance up at Otabek but all he can think about is the man before him leaning in for a kiss. His hands trailing down his neck and-
"I should be going." Yuri steps back. "I will see you at dinner tonight."
"Of course."
The prince rushes down towards the servants' quarters to summon Leo to accompany him. The valet looks to be waiting eagerly for their walk. Yuri has half a mind to ask him about… his lordship's habits but refrains from doing so. Instead, he notes something that takes his mind off the topic, however briefly.
"I see you're still writing to Guang," Yuri says with a half-smile.
"I am, your highness. He's excellent company."
"You must be excited to see him again, with the upcoming wedding for my brother in the new year."
"I might say the same of you. He asks me about you sometimes, I'm glad to see that your friendship is maintained."
"I am pleased that he has been allowed to stay on in the palace and that my moving here has not caused him disruption. Perhaps now he might indulge a bit more. Without me as his charge he must have more time on his hands."
"For a hobby, you mean?"
"Hm, something like that." Yuri attempts to tease but it seems that the jest goes right over Leo's head. "Tell me, Leo. Do you know much about Otabek's brothers?"
"The Crown Prince and Lord Nazim? Oh, we have had very little in the way of interaction. I would know them on sight but not by character." Leo scrambles to answer the question.
"What have you heard then?"
"Well, the Crown Prince has been said to be kind if a bit… waifish. But that is probably his majesty merely projecting the idea onto him as they are not such similar people. Lord Nazim is flippant to be sure, he's well-traveled and a bit of diplomat. From what I've heard, they're both good people and his lordship likes them well enough to be excited about their visit."
"Has Otabek said as much?" Yuri asks with a chuckle.
"Indeed," Leo agrees. "He is especially excited to show you off to them. His words, of course."
"Show me off? The pale puny thing he calls a husband?" Yuri snorts.
Leo seems to choke on his own breath, "Is… is that what you think of yourself, your highness?"
"I'm not an idiot Leo, I know what people say about me."
"Which is?"
"That I'm brash and quick to anger. That I'm scrawny and… I believe the precise wording was vapid, selfish, and only worth loving because of my name."
The valet balks at him, "Oh, your highness, that's… none of those things are true!"
"It seems that you're at least right about one such item on the list. My name has changed since that accusation was flung at me."
"You don't believe those things, do you?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Yuri asks. Leo pulls his highness to stop on their trek; his expression lends itself to disbelief.
"Please believe me when I say you are none of those things. You are, in fact, the very opposite of these accusations."
"I haven't a weak constitution; I can handle criticism, I assure you."
"But those insults are not criticisms, they're cruelties and baseless to boot."
"As much as I appreciate the ardency of your words, I do not need them. I know my place and I know where I stand. That's really the beginning and end of it."
"Your-"
"We are done with this conversation," the prince says strictly, resuming his pace towards the village.
"Of… Of course, your highness."
The pair walk in silence towards the village and conclude their business promptly. By the time they've returned to the estate, Yuri has very nearly forgotten the conversation he and Seung-Gil had earlier in the day. Now, however, he has more pressing matters to attend to as it seems Nazim and Khan will be arriving in the next few hours.
The staff is all in a tizzy trying to get the house in order and that energy is infectious. His highness is quick to change and steady himself at the entrance of the estate. His shoulders rolled back and gaze up towards the distance where a small fleet of riders can be seen inching their way towards the estate.
"Ready?" His lordship asks, startling Yuri as he approaches.
"Of course, are you?"
"Indeed." Otabek nods.
The lingering moment of awkwardness is quickly abandoned as the group of riders approach. Yuri paints a pleasant smile on his face as the group come to a stop. Otabek approaches the two men who immediately bring him into an aggressive sort of hug. The prince watches the three of them pull away, laughing at something as they fall into a conversation.
Yuri stands back with the staff, watching intently as the brothers catch up. For a moment, a swell of jealousy warms his chest; there's a longing and a desperation that Yuri doesn't want to acknowledge. That would mean admitting that he misses Viktor and Mr. Katsuki, and Yuri would rather choke on his hurt than say such a thing.
"Yuri, come." Otabek beckons him forward; the prince nods, releasing the emotion with a breath. "These are my brothers, Khan and Nazim."
The three brothers all share similarly strong features, although Yuri would say that Nazim looks much closer to Aysel than his brothers. They're tall, their eyes are the same shape and color, the most obvious tell of their relation, however, is their smile. The teasing edge of their quirked lips and the wrinkles by their eyes are nearly identical.
"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Yuri bows customarily to them.
"Very formal all things considered," Nazim chuckles. "Father has definitely gotten to you."
"And we're sorry for it." Khan looks a bit embarrassed by the notion. "I hope you've been making yourself comfortable in Astana."
"I've been enjoying my time here, yes." Yuri nods as the group enter the estate, "And I do hope that your journey went well."
"It did indeed, the journey was smooth and for once we didn't have to meet a grueling deadline," Khan chuckles. "Your lord husband has probably already told you such tales of our father's impossible standards. One such standard is making treks in far less time than should be humanly possible."
"That's how I got engaged," Yuri teases.
"Married," Otabek corrects with a chuckle.
"I heard! Only a week to travel from the coast to the north is unbelievable," Nazim laughs.
"It was closer to ten days in reality, but it was still a trial," Otabek elaborates.
"Hush brother, I'm trying to make you look much more incredible to your husband," Nazim teases.
"We should also mention his prowess on the battlefield!" Khan supplements.
"And his-"
"Stop," Otabek sighs.
"I see you're a big supporter of your brother's cause," Yuri laughs behind his hand.
"Indeed, we are. You make a handsome couple and you're very much the type of person he finds himself drawn to." Nazim smiles.
"Oh?"
"Stop it Nazim!" Otabek blushes as he shoves his brother.
"He's always been drawn to blondes," Khan snickers. "And I'm sure you're lovely in all other regards as well."
"I'm being bombarded with mockery," Otabek groans.
"Nothing of the sort! We're trying to help, dear brother." Khan drapes himself over Otabek's shoulders.
"Need I remind you that we're already married?" His Lordship tries to wiggle out of his brother's hold.
"Blissfully so? If not, that is our aim! Your happiness is our sole intention!" Nazim joins in the pile and Yuri can't help but laugh again.
"You're making me look foolish." Otabek finally breaks away from the embrace.
"Should I spare your pride, or will you manage on your own?" Yuri asks.
"A knight in shining armor of your very own Beka! How lucky you are." Nazim smirks.
"Perhaps the pair of you would like to wash up before dinner?"
"Seeing as you reek of travel and discontent," Otabek adds with a pout.
"Now, now, you can save your barbs for supper." Yuri puts a hand on his husband's shoulder. Otabek seems to melt under his touch and Yuri has the distinct urge to kiss his cheek. He refrains, however; something about kissing his husband in front of his brothers (who are already teasing him mercilessly) makes his stomach drop just the slightest bit.
"Hm… interesting," Khan muses thoughtfully as Yuri breaks out of his trance.
"I will show you to your rooms," Yuri offers lamely, stepping away from Otabek who is now blushing fiercely.
"Unless you've other matters to attend to," Nazim teases.
"Certainly not." Yuri feigns ignorance as he brushes past his husband. "Shall we?"
"Your highness, I've heard you're something of an artist. I'd be interested to hear more about that." Khan sidles up to Yuri as the prince guides them through the estate.
They make pleasant conversation and Yuri receives something in the range of twelve apologies regarding Hakan. It seems his majesty's temperament is a bit of a legendary problem in their family. He also (expertly) manages to skirt past any untoward comments and leaves them to their own devices.
As dinner gets underway, Yuri finds that he enjoys playing host. It feels natural to him; his lessons on at least this matter are still applicable. The three brothers tease and taunt one another, and Yuri finds he doesn't mind it when the trio have a moment of reflection on their shared experience. It allows the prince to… admire the fine lines of his husband's jaw and the way his cheeks flush when he laughs.
There's a warmth settling in his gut as he imagines kissing Otabek's cheeks, how warm they'd be against his lips. His mouth dries at the thought of where else he'd like to kiss his husband. He finds it's difficult to concentrate with his mind so thoroughly in the gutter. He feels foolish and crass for it, but ever since Seung-Gil put the thought in his head it's all he can think about.
Part of him feels perverse for such thoughts, the other relishes the idea of intimacy with his husband. He wants to be held and given even the slightest indication that marital relations are as everyone else seems to believe them to be.
When they retire for the evening, Yuri takes in slow methodical breaths. He's certain Otabek is talking, he's talking more than he ever has before, cluing his husband into all of the inside jokes that Khan and Nazim referenced over dinner.
Taking a moment of unbridled courage, Yuri approaches his husband, putting each hand on either shoulder of the taller man and kissing his jaw. He lingers there until Otabek pulls back, looking at his husband with intense curiosity.
"Yuri?"
"Hm? Yuri barely breathes as he steals himself once more.
"What are you doing?" He asks softly.
Yuri responds by lifting himself to the tips of his toes to kiss Otabek's lips. This time, he holds his breath as he curls a hand behind his lordship's neck.
Otabek pulls away again, his thumb trailing his husband's jaw, "What's this about?"
"You'll laugh." Yuri claims.
"I'm certain I won't." Otabek wears a smile that betrays the truth of that statement.
"I've been… wanting to kiss you all day," Yuri admits with a blush. "Am I not entitled to do so? You are my husband."
"Indeed I am… but you… you haven't…" Otabek wears a similar shade of red on his cheeks.
"Have I embarrassed you?" Yuri teases.
"No, of course not," Otabek claims. Yuri presses his body closer to his husband's as he leans up for another kiss. It's softer and less fumbling than the previous, they linger there almost as if they're uncertain of each other. Then, Yuri pushes a hand flat against Otabek's chest, tugging at the fabric of his night shirt.
His lordship is quick to grab the prince's hand, "Yuri-"
"What?"
"Why are you doing this? Did my brothers say something to you?" Yuri doesn't know how to respond to that, but Otabek seems to take it as confirmation. "I will deal with them-"
"Why do you avoid me?" Yuri allows the sentiment to boil out of him. "Why do you immediately assume that this is anything other than my own interest?"
Otabek blinks silently at him, "I-…"
"Because we've been married for nearing four months now. I don't see why we can't… or shouldn't…" Yuri blushes instead of saying the words.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Yuri, I… I'm not…"
"Are you not attracted to me?" Yuri asks, shriveling in on himself at the thought.
"No! It isn't that!" Otabek looks down at the floor, clearly flustered by the turn in conversation.
"Then… then what is it? Why don't you… want me?"
"That isn't… You act as if… As if our first night together never happened." Otabek squeezes his eyes shut.
"I try to yes," Yuri scoffs.
"And you still want me after that? Yuri, I hurt you." Otabek cringes as he speaks, clearly still viscerally upset by the whole ordeal.
Yuri looks equally taken aback by the statement, "I am well now, I've healed plenty."
"That's not what I mean." Otabek's voice is small and almost cowardly in a way.
"What do you mean then?"
"I mean that I hurt you… I-… I assaulted you-"
"You did no such thing." Yuri shrugs off the comment.
"Didn't I?" Otabek asks tersely.
"I told you to do it, I won't… I don't…"
"Even so, I acted recklessly and I hurt you. I made the decision to… to do what I did and that is not your fault." Otabek's voice cracks and Yuri looks up to see the crystalline shine of tears just on the ends of his lashes. "I never… you didn't want to speak on it and I… I only want to respect your wishes from now on. I'm sorry, Yuri… I'm so sorry for it."
"Otabek." Yuri sighs as he reaches towards his husband but Otabek jerks away in response. "I was not… I was not aware that you felt that night was at all your fault."
"How could it not be?" Otabek asks, his teeth and fists clenched tightly. "I won't ever forgive myself for those transgressions I've committed against you. I don't expect you to forgive me either-"
"There's nothing to forgive." Yuri tells him.
"You don't believe that, you cannot possibly believe that!" Otabek shakes his head, the frustration within him is aimless as tears spill down his cheeks. "Not when I caused you such distress and made you so-so-so-"
"Otabek, breathe."
"Why aren't you angry?" Otabek asks, his eyes are desperate and his cheeks are flushed with something like rage. "After everything I- you should be furious with me."
"Well I'm not! I am not angry and you should be duly grateful for it." Yuri responds hotly.
"I deserve your ire, I deserve for you to-"
"Otabek listen to me!" Yuri grabs his face and holds his gaze firmly. "I am not angry with you."
"But-"
"Don't speak." Yuri scolds him swiftly before continuing, "You are angry at yourself for what you have done and you are looking for punishment from me because that's all you've known. Whenever you were wrong before you were met with violence and cruelty… I pity you for that. But you won't find such punishment from me."
"You-"
"You were forged in a fire, Otabek. Your father raised you to be a warrior and to live each day as if it were a fight. You were taught to thrive off of rage and that anger is the only way to learn from your mistakes. Anger got you in trouble, it won't fix what was broken." Yuri's voice is sharp but the harshness fades into… perhaps kindness is too gentle a word. It's a firm scolding, from someone who cares, from someone who only wants the best for their charge.
Otabek closes his eyes, the previous outrage within him ebbs away as the tears continue to leak down his cheeks. "I-… I know you're right… I don't know… I don't know how to be anything other than this."
"I never asked for that. Just as I never asked you to tell me how I should feel about what happened that night. Do not decide for me what I should think or feel, I've had enough of that for one lifetime."
"I'm sorry." Otabek hides his face in his hands.
"I know you are; I have forgiven you already. Why does not matter and I do not owe you or anyone an explanation as to why. All that I want from you is the assurance that you will not hurt me like that again." Yuri's hands go to Otabek's shoulders and squeezes them tightly.
"I promise you… I will never hurt you again."
"You mustn't let anger be your first response when something goes awry. It's not a useful emotion and that's a lesson I too had to learn… I will help you through it but you cannot let your initial fury guide you. You are in control not your temper."
Otabek nods at that, his eyes seem clearer now, less clouded by that vicious hold his temperament has over him.
"And you must believe me when I say that I do still want you. That I do expect to have you again at some point and when it does it will not be as duty bound as that first coupling we had. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand." Otabek wipes his eyes.
"One more thing you must promise me." Yuri bites his lip, unable to stop himself from insinuating the last request in his mind.
"Anything."
Yuri nods, "You will… You will make me understand why those fools in love speak so highly of it." Yuri can barely stand the heat in his face.
Otabek chuckles through his tears, "I promise."
"Good." Yuri rises to peck Otabek's cheeks, "Let's get to bed then, we have a day of hosting your brothers ahead of us."
Otabek groans, "I forgot they're still here."
"Unsurprising really." Yuri chuckles, lingering for a moment still before finishing his preparations for bed.
In a moment of silent synchronization, the couple climb into bed and Yuri finds himself leaning in closer to Otabek's figure. His lordship returns the sentiment by curling up to his husband. Even if the bed becomes warm far too quickly for Yuri's liking, he appreciates the closeness.
When morning comes, the couple takes his lordship's brothers on a tour of the grounds and the village. Otabek takes charge of the majority of the visit, although Nazim is quite humorous with his asides to Yuri and Khan is nothing if not grateful for their time away from the capital.
The prince is given many a warning about the eventuality of going to the capital himself. How the staff are sterner and that everyone walks on eggshells because of Hakan. Otabek responds, as always, with a reminder that he will handle his father.
"Indeed, father will be the least of your worries," Khan says with a laugh that last evening of their trip. "What with the news we bring from the front and his obsession with my husband, he'll be more than occupied."
The informal parlor has a dusky glow to it as the group share a round of post dinner drinks. Yuri stands by the window watching the stars appear in the darkening sky. Otabek lounges on the couch beside Khan while Nazim bounces his leg in the armchair across from them.
"And do you like being married, your highness?" Yuri asks.
"I find it to be a… fine thing, I suppose. I'm not quite smitten and I do not loathe him. Which seems to be a good compromise in my opinion," Khan chuckles.
"It seems that the wedding bug has been busy biting everyone in society. Which is why I'm fleeing to the east as soon as I'm able," Nazim snorts.
"Father couldn't force you into a marriage if he had you bound, gagged, and beaten." Otabek smirks over his drink.
"Mother is the one I find myself more weary of, if we're to speak honestly. He's gotten spoiled with two new sons and his first grandchild all in the same year." Nazim shudders with a laugh.
"Oh, poor you, falling out of line with mother's antics, what a travesty," Khan coos at his brother.
"All is right in the world," Otabek teases.
"Marriage and I would not agree, I guarantee it." Nazim assures them, "Though I am pleased for the happy couples, and the couples that are simply at peace with their arrangements."
Khan swats a lazy hand at him. "What of the couples that can't keep their hands off each other?"
"To them, I send my deepest condolences- I mean congratulations for the children that we'll meet next year," Nazim laughs again.
"And who might you have in mind for that?" Otabek asks, his tone still humored but his gaze challenging.
"He's talking about the infamous lovers from Ceylon of course," Khan says with a shrug.
"Indeed I am! I thought Astana was progressive in their ideals about marital relations, but if the rumors about the king are to be believed… Well, I might even blush," Nazim snickers childishly.
"You met his majesty did you not?" Khan asks. "Did he give any indication to the validity of such rumors?"
Otabek looks taken aback so Yuri answers, "I believe his husband would be more… inclined to speak on such matters."
"Really? I find it hard to believe the crown prince is even half as brazen as his husband," Nazim says.
"They were certainly made for each other in that case." Yuri offers a coquettish smirk.
"Incredible," Nazim whistles.
"And you are quite familiar with his majesty, are you not, your highness? I heard that the couple attended your wedding." Khan interjects.
"If you asked his majesty, he would say something to the effect of our being family only short of blood relation." Yuri rolls his eyes. "And then he would likely make an inappropriate aside about relationships that would make me scowl at him."
"Ah, then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, your highness, but he is your brother. Sorry to say so," Nazim laughs.
"That would surely go to his head," Yuri chuckles.
"I must admit I am disappointed to have not attended any of the weddings we've been so blessed to have this year. King Christophe, my own brother, and how could I forget, even JJ got married this year! I never thought I'd see the day," Nazim says.
Yuri bites back the first insult that comes to his mind as the brothers continue their conversation.
"I know! The prick finally settled down; there really is hope for you yet," Khan chuckles, lifting his glass to Nazim.
"Hope for us all seeing as he is happily settled if his letters are anything to go by." Otabek nudges his brother.
"What was the event like?" Nazim asks. Yuri is about to answer, seeing as his cousin was the one marrying that absolute cad. Instead, Otabek responds with a laugh.
"Quick, sloppy, and to the point," he says. "Very much in line with him."
"You went to JJ's wedding?" Yuri asks, his tone harsh as his mind reels in complete shock. The brothers look at him sharply, confusion evident in all of their eyes.
"Well… yes?" Otabek narrows his gaze, chuckling nervously, "He is my best friend, he came to our wedding as well, if you will recall."
"He's your friend!?"
"Oh, I see, because Sir Georgi is your cousin," Khan comes to realize with a laugh. "Perhaps you just missed each other at the occasion. How romantic."
Yuri scoffs, "I was not invited to the event, though perhaps that was for the best. All things considered."
"And what matters are we considering?" Otabek implores him.
"Well besides the fact that I was previously engaged to him; I was the one that forced the arrangement, seeing as I walked in on them in the midst of intimacy."
Otabek gapes at him, "You were-"
"Say it isn't so! You and JJ? Engaged?" Khan practically spits out his drink.
"I was indeed, and I was with his mother when I witnessed the pair of them committing the act. Our entourage was composed of myself, his parents, and my father so that I could sign the engagement agreement and there they were. In the library no less."
"The gall! The scandal! The… The hilarity!" Nazim slaps the arm rest as he cackles.
"I assure you, it was not so amusing at the time." Yuri cracks a smile at their response. "As it turns out, he'd been nothing short of cruel to me the week of our involvement, simply because he was carrying on a dalliance with my cousin. Truly a sequence of events ripped out of a poorly written novel."
"I thought I heard a rumor about your brother talking down to JJ; I had assumed it was an exaggeration. As his lordship is wont to do," Nazim laughs.
"I was shocked that they came to our wedding," Yuri admits. "Though, I suppose if he is Otabek's friend…"
"How unfortunate," Khan chuckles.
"JJ is his best friend since childhood, the pair of them were always causing such trouble. Seeing as JJ was a ward of our father during the years of the war… And now it seems they're even more tightly bonded," Nazim laughs. "Did you harbor any feelings for him?"
"Plenty. I harbored resentment, disgust, exasperation, indignation; I could go on but I think I've painted enough of a picture," Yuri says, more humored by the thought than anything.
"I'm certain he deserved some of your wrath, but he isn't so bad a man as you have apparently encountered," Nazim says.
"Indeed, JJ's bark is much worse than his bite, I hope he did not offend you too deeply," Khan snickers.
"Well, considering he nearly snapped my wrist I would say the offense still lingers," Yuri chuckles.
"He did what?" Otabek's low, stern voice cuts through the joviality of the conversation.
Yuri's blood runs cold as his husband stares him down. "You didn't know?"
"What did he do to you?" Otabek stands from his seat and stalks towards his husband.
"He was… He was foolish, Otabek, there's nothing more to say about it." Yuri attempts to assuage his husband's reaction.
"Did he hurt you?"
"I saw him fuck my cousin when we were meant to be engaged, of course that hurt. But that's in the past now."
"Did he hurt you?" Otabek asks again, his voice is even but there's something uneasy about his gaze. The Altin rage is simmering just beneath the surface and Yuri is left wondering if Otabek will remain in control of his instincts.
"I'm alright." Yuri reaches up to put a hand on Otabek's cheek. "What's gotten into you?"
Otabek steps away from Yuri's hand, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought you knew."
"And you didn't think to say anything when he came to our wedding?" Otabek gives something of a growl as he asks.
"I assumed my father invited them to be courteous!"
"They sat on my side of the church!" Otabek snaps, though he winces as he does so.
"I thought they were rightfully ashamed of themselves!" Yuri stamps his foot. "I don't know why you're being so outrageous. JJ is a fool and a worthless idiot; you have nothing to be upset about."
Otabek lets out a long sigh, it's almost sounds like a hiss or the whistle of a boiling kettle, then before the rage persists, he leaves; Yuri is too stunned to move at first.
Nazim's low whistle is the first to break the tension. "Well, that's my baby brother."
"Nazim," Khan sighs.
"Sorry about him; when he gets riled up he's just like our father. And he would kick my ass if he heard me say it." Nazim tips his glass to Yuri. "Although, I'm surprised he didn't yell."
"You're not helping," Khan sighs. "I'm very sorry, your highness."
"I'll go talk to him, please enjoy the rest of your evening." Yuri exits the parlor and stops the nearest servant to ask after his husband's whereabouts.
Being directed towards his lordship's office, Yuri is quick to enter without knocking.
"Otabek." Yuri pushes into the room and holds back a sigh when he sees Otabek furiously writing. "Darling, what are you doing?"
His lordship does not look up from his desk, "Working."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Perhaps I am looking to be distracted." Otabek responds sharply.
Yuri pinches the bridge of his nose as he sighs, "Otabek-"
"Are you upset with me for attempting to keep myself under control? When all I want to do is march an army half-way across the continent to beat JJ's ass for what he's done? Leaving out the fact that you lied to me." Otabek casts a forceful glance up towards Yuri.
"I thought you knew, and it never came up." Yuri shrugs.
"You were previously engaged, and you never told me." Otabek narrows his gaze at his husband. "You kept a whole engagement from me."
"We were never officially engaged."
"You were spoken for. My best friend was going to marry you."
"And he said nothing to you, I take it," Yuri says boldly. "Because if he did, you would have surely recognized the pale pathetic thing he had been previously entangled with."
"Why would you say that?" Otabek stands from his desk, looking more concerned than angry.
"He said those things of me, he called me all manner of horrible things. He was cruel and uncouth, he told me I was vain and vapid and selfish and that he had absolutely no intention of remaining faithful to me! Forgive me for not wanting to speak on it, but I've reason enough to neglect the memory. And both your mother and father mentioned my previous engagement to me, so I assumed you knew as well. I was humiliated enough at the time I felt it didn't bear repeating."
"Yuri-"
"I'm sorry that you found out this way, but no one is at fault for it… And in any case, for you to be so upset will help no one," Yuri insists.
Otabek says nothing further; the pair of them merely look at each other for a breath, and then two. Finally, Otabek rounds his desk and towers over his husband. Surprise of all surprises, a hand cradles Yuri's cheek and the pair of them kiss. Yuri is winded by the thought of it, the air in his lungs is taken by the man before him. Shocked and startled into a continued silence, Yuri merely lifts his gaze to that of his husband's.
His lordship keeps his eyes closed as he speaks, "You mustn't lie to me anymore, Yuri."
"I won't," Yuri promises, raising his hand to hold Otabek's wrist. He can feel Otabek's pulse beneath his fingertips and it soothes him greatly. Even if he vehemently disagrees with the assertion that he's lied about his previous engagement…
"I suppose we are cut from the same cloth after all," Otabek concedes when he opens his eyes.
"Nobility are like that. Keeping secrets and their tongues tied up in knots so as to not spill the secrets of the world."
"Have you such secrets?" Otabek asks softly.
"Indeed, I do," Yuri chuckles.
"And they are?"
Yuri hesitates, looking deep into the warmth of his husband's eyes. He knows what he should say, he knows he should mention King Hakan's threats, but he can't bring himself to. Not when there have been so many revelations in the past few days. Now isn't the time so instead he stutters out an incoherent thought.
"I think that… I think that you are my very best friend." His voice trails off as he comes to realize that the sentiment is more honest than he had expected. "I just… I have realized that I had no friends before meeting you and it sounds quite sad to say it aloud, yet it remains true. I had my attendant but he was obviously working for me… I had my brother, my tutor, and their friends were like brothers to me in some ways, but they were not friends of my choosing… It makes me sad to think about it."
Otabek looks pensive at that that, "I'm sorry."
"I was lonely before, it took Vitya's leaving for me to realize it… I was lonely and you-… You are so kind to me and I trust you more than I have ever had the opportunity to trust another. And I'm not easy to get along with nor am I pleasant to be around, really."
"Why do you say such things? You don't really believe such cruelties to be true, do you?" Otabek asks.
"What else am I supposed to believe?" Yuri returns the question, "I have only ever been a pawn or a problem."
"You are neither of those things."
"To you." Yuri says.
"To more than just me."
"You are the only one who acts like I am worthy of anything more than a passing glance." Yuri tells him. "Even if I am uncertain that I deserve such kindness I am grateful for it."
Otabek cups Yuri's cheek in response, "Oh, Yuri… You have… You are worthy of so much more than that."
"I… I used to lash out, you know. When I was young I would act out because I craved attention of any kind… My tutor changed that for a time, but he too disregarded me… I was never… enough. I-… I suppose I never will be."
"It pains me to hear of your suffering, my darling one… I am sorry that you have spent so long being fed wicked lies such as these. You are everything to me. You see me, you help me and you do not cower in fear… You have poured so much of yourself into others you must have forgotten that their success makes you shine as well. I wish I had more words to opine on your perfection but I suppose… I suppose I must instead spend that time showing you how dear you are to me."
Yuri nods, "I'd like that."
"I won't tell you how you should feel, you have been clear in that regard. I just hope that you might open yourself up to seeing more… to seeing yourself in a better light."
Yuri takes Otabek's hand from his cheek and presses a kiss into his lordship's open hand. "Thank you for your softness… Nazim was quite impressed at your lack of yelling."
Otabek snorts, "Well, I have a wonderful teacher rehabilitating my furious inclinations."
"Come to bed with me. It's late and… and we will be seeing your brothers off in the morning."
Otabek winces at the thought. "Yes, sir."
Yuri takes his husband's hand then and guides him to their chambers. They lay entwined in one another's arms, Otabek's body growing too warm too quickly and Yuri's hair splaying awkwardly around them.
As the prince watches his husband fall asleep, he thinks about how devoted and sweet his lordship is. Deserving or not, Yuri relishes in having this man to himself, to bask in him and his eternal strength. Yuri feels the thumping beat of his heart and embarrassment overcomes him. It is too soon to name the feeling love and how odd is it to fall in love with one's husband?
He cannot bring himself to regret his confession of friendship, nor can he fight the flutter of his heartbeat when he remembers Otabek's tender proclamations. His lordship thinks so well of Yuri and it makes the prince smile as he further recalls their conversation. Perhaps this friendship is not perfect, but it is something he cherishes. What a wonderful thing to behold, what a wonderful thought to pass into the world of dreams on.
In a bed too warm, surrounded by something that might be love, Yuri resolves that he would very much like to stay here. Forever.
Every season will turn til the world is upside down; rivers overflow then go underground
But in the eye of the storm, in the safety of this house; We lay hand in hand while the world turns wrong.
