Title: Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder
Chapter 1
Slash/Mature: Don't like, don't read.
Summary: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or is it just a line we hear but never feel.
All mistakes are mine, this has not been proofed.
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He was standing at the sink washing the last plate when he heard the front door open and close.
"You forget something Mac?" Gibbs placed the plate in the dish rack on the counter, picked up the dish towel and dried his hands as he turned around. He knew the surprise registered on his face, a reaction he couldn't prevent himself from having when he saw the man standing there. It had been months since he'd seen the man's face other than in a picture and years since they had physically occupied the same space. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Gibbs forced the surprise from his face as he threw the dishcloth on the counter.
"Surprise." A Cheshire grin spread across his face, his green eyes sparkled as he stared at the older man.
"You do love a dramatic entrance. " Gibbs snickered as made his way towards the younger man. He paused standing just a few steps in front of the smiling man. Gibbs looked him up and down then gentle patted the man's cheek. "You look good."
"So do you."
There was a momentary awkward silence, until the younger man opened his arms and quickly threw them around Gibbs.
Gibbs' arms wrapped around the younger man tightly. "It's good to see you Tony." Stepping back, Gibbs smiled. "Ziva and Tali?"
"Having a mother daughter week together." Tony smiled. "So thought it was a perfect time to visit." Looking around the small house, Tony took in the surroundings. The living room door had led directly into one large room that included the living room and kitchen. A living room that had a couch against the far left wall, a coffee table in front of it, a recliner off to the right hand side facing the wood burning fire stove. The wood burning fire stove created a slight separation between the living room and kitchen areas. Off to the left he could see a hallway but couldn't see how many doors might be down there. From the outside he could tell it was a small ranch home probably one or two bedrooms. "Heard you sold the house back in D.C."
Gibbs nodded.
"So you bought this?"
"No, but-" Gibbs shrugged. "It's an option in the future."
"It's great." Tony again glanced around that awkwardness still between them.
"Coffee."
"God yes." Tony groaned dropping his duffel bag by the door as Gibbs made his way back to the kitchen. "Oh and black." He said towards the kitchen as he dropped down into the recliner. "Don't worry, I already checked on a room at the hotel."
"Why would I worry?"
Tony jumped as he looked up at the man standing beside the chair holding out a cup of coffee. "Um I just didn't want you to think I was just going to show up on your door unannounced and ask to stay."
Gibbs sat down on the end of the couch closest to Tony. "D.C., here-" He took a sip of his coffee. "You're always welcome."
Tony's stared down at the coffee cup. "Thanks." Taking a quick sip he cleared his throat. "It's beautiful up here and everyone seems super friendly."
"They are." Gibbs watched as Tony took another long swig of the coffee. "Black"
Tony's brow furrowed then realized Gibbs was referring to the coffee. "Yeah, things change."
"That they do." Gibbs knew that all too well. "Mother and daughter week?"
"Yeah." Tony nodded. "Tali has turned into a young woman that wants to have her nails done, hair done, the works."
Gibbs chuckled. "And what going for a manicure with dad isn't cool?"
"Oh no, we go." Tony grinned, but it quickly faded as he shook his head. "She's growing up so fast. Seems like only yesterday she was this little girl climbing into my lap asking me to read her a story."
"With kids time just seems to fly by."
"Yeah it does."
Gibbs could see the melancholy in Tony's stare. "How's Ziva handling it all?"
"Fine." Tony took another sip of coffee. "So who's Mac?"
Gibbs' brow furrowed slightly at the subject change. "A friend that owns the house."
"It's a great house." Tony said as he stood up sitting his coffee mug on the table before walking around the living room and looking into the kitchen. He glanced over at Gibbs. "It's very you."
"What stoic?" Gibbs smirked.
"No." Tony rolled his eyes at the comment he'd made years ago. "Welcoming, you feel safe here." Tony's eyes met steely blue for a moment then quickly looked away. "You still don't lock the door."
"I lock the door at night before I go to bed, does that make you feel better?"
Tony sighed. "A little."
Gibbs looked at Tony there was real concern and relief in the younger man's voice. Standing up, Gibbs walked passed Tony and towards the door, grabbing his coat from the row of hooks next to the door. "Let's get you something to eat."
Tony's brow furrowed. "What?"
Rolling his eyes, Gibbs slipped his coat on. "Your stomachs been growling almost since you walked in." He tipped his chin towards Tony. "Come on."
Glancing at his watch, Tony looked back up at Gibbs. It was already after eleven. "Is anything open?"
"Charlie's."
"Diner."
Gibbs shook his head.
"Ah bar."
"Get your coat on." Gibbs snickered to himself when Tony practically ran to the door. Somethings never changed, the man could always eat.
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Tony had almost finished his burger and was just putting a forkful of fries in his mouth when Gibbs chuckled.
"No meal on the plane?" Gibbs watched as Tony looked up at him and forced a smile.
"Slept most of the way." Tony took a long swig of his beer.
"Kids will wear you out."
"Yeah." Tony stabbed another fork full of fries and stuck them in his mouth.
"Sure it helps having Ziva there again." Gibbs saw Tony force himself to swallow the bite of food in his mouth looking as if it was physically painful to do so.
"It's funny it use to be the early morning when Tali would come running in the bedroom, jump on the bed wanting breakfast." Tony shook his head. "Now it is late nights and early morning spending twenty minutes just trying to get her out of bed."
Gibbs nodded hearing more from what Tony didn't say then the words that were spoken.
Tony popped the last bite of his burger in his mouth and took the last swig of his beer. "I'll go take care of this."
"Already taken care of." Gibbs pushed his chair back and stood up. "I have a tab."
"I can get it, you didn't eat and-" Tony glance at the glass of Bourbon on the table that had barely been touched. "I think you took one sip of that drink."
Grabbing the glass from the table, Gibbs downed the drink and sat the glass back down.
"Okay, point taken." Tony stood up. "Thanks."
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"Nice bar." Tony stepped into the house behind Gibbs and hung his jacket on a hook next to the older man's. "You sure you're okay with me staying."
Gibbs stopped in mid step as he was heading towards the kitchen. Turning around he took a deep breath. "So you going to tell me what's going on or is going to be like back in the day…you say you're fine and it takes two days before you finally break down and tell me what's wrong?" He watched as Tony's Adam's apple went up and down. When Tony didn't respond Gibbs shrugged. "I don't care either way. I just wanna know if I should make coffee or just pretend like I don't know anything is wrong, go to bed, and let you lay out here on the couch and toss and turn all night."
"Do you know, did she call you?" There was a slight tinge of anger in Tony's voice.
"Ziva didn't call me. She hasn't talk to me since she left D.C. for Paris." Gibbs knew exactly who the she was referring to.
"Don't feel bad I see her every day and she barely talks to me."
Gibbs knew the next question Tony was about to ask. "I know because every time I bring up Ziva you change the subject and I can see the pain in your eyes every time I say her name."
"Yeah." Tony sighed.
Gibbs made his way in the kitchen, quickly started the coffee and returned to the living room. He sat down on the far right side of the couch. A moment later, Tony walked over and dropped heavily down on the left side of the couch.
"Everything's different, I'm different, she's different and nothing works between us." There was long pause as Tony took a deep breath. "She came back and there was nothing there anymore…maybe there never was." He dropped his head back on the couch. "We were living in this surreal fantasy and now in the real world we don't exist anymore."
"It takes time you both went through a lot."
"I knew after a week, I think she did too, she just refused to admit it." Tony sank deeper into the couch. "The apartment next to ours came open and Ziva moved in there. It kept everyone close, but Ziva had her space, which seemed to be what she needed." Tony sighed. "We tried couples therapy, family therapy, it didn't help. She didn't want to talk and when she did, it was entirely my fault. I tried for months, not for us but for Tali…and that made it worse."
"Tali saw through all the bullshit." Gibbs knew how intuitive kids where when it comes to what is going on around them, especially when it comes to their parents.
"She knew weeks after Ziva got back, plus she was dealing with her own feels about her mom." Tony sighed. "As much as Tali wanted to just embrace her mom and accept everything, she had all this resentment and anger at her for being gone, for missing out on so much of her life and for walking back in and just expecting everything to be perfectly fine."
"Did counseling help?" Gibbs asked getting up and heading to the kitchen.
"A little, there were moments, brief glimpses of them getting along, talking, actually laughing together, but they were just barely a blimp in time."
Gibbs returned a few moments later with two coffee cups. He held a mug out to Tony. Taking it, Tony took a quick sip.
"You're talking in past tense." Gibbs said as he sat back down.
Tony nodded. "Ziva's going to leave, go back to Israel… it's just a matter of when."
"Will she try to take Tali?"
"No." Tony shook his head. "She sees how much Tali is hurting with everything and in spite of everything that's happened; she's a good mother and only wants what is best for Tali. And she knows forcing her to leave the only home she's known isn't what's best." Leaning forward Tony put his elbows on his knees, cup of coffee clutched in his hands. "Ziva knows she's broken, knows that being on the run did something to her and she has to fix it…she just doesn't know how and feels leaving, going back to Israel to sort things out is what may help."
"And this mother daughter week, is it a good idea for them to be alone together so long if they have that much tension between them."
Tony glanced over at Gibbs. "Senior's there he seems to be a good buffer for them…and he knows to call if things get really bad."
"So this is a last ditch effort?"
Tony nodded as he stared down into the dark liquid in his cup. "Yet it's not going to work. I knew it the moment I was saying goodbye to Tali. She came up and hugged me, looked me straight in the eyes with complete honesty and said…I know why you're doing this and it's not going to change anything, she's still going to leave, because she knows that's what's best for all of us." Tony could see Tali's face as if she were standing before him saying the words again. He fought back the tears by clearing his throat. "She wasn't angry or bitter, it was just the way it was." He put the coffee cup on the table and leaned back. "Why can't adults see things so clearly?"
"We're too jaded."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you still love her?"
"I love her for being my friend all these years, I love her for being the mother of my child, I love her for knowing and understanding what is best for Tali." With that Tony stopped.
"And that's not what I asked." Gibbs felt the green eyes suddenly gaze over at him and in those emerald pools he saw the answer even before Tony spoke.
"I love her for the things she is and has been to me, but I'm not in love with her. I honestly don't think I ever was." Finally having spoken the truth out loud, he felt part of the weight he'd been carrying lifted from his shoulders. The rest of the weight he carried wouldn't be as easy to let go of.
Gibbs went to stand up and patted Tony's knee. "Then you'll get through this and come out a better man from it." Making his way into the kitchen he poured himself another cup of coffee. A moment later, Tony was standing next to him.
"Thank you." Tony leaned against the counter beside Gibbs.
Gibbs shrugged as he put the coffee pot back and took a swig of coffee.
"Really for putting up with me, listening, not judging me and just being my friend…and everything I needed right now." Tony watched as the steel blue eyes met his.
"I'm always here for you, whatever you need."
"Even with thousands of miles and an ocean between us, I always knew I could pick up the phone or just show up and you'd be there for me." Tony turned sideways.
"Did you really think that would change when you left?" Gibbs sat down his coffee cup and mirrored Tony's position.
"Yeah, I did."
"Friendships change, but distance and time don't make a friendship any less important or less meaningful." Gibbs noticed Tony's eyes dilate, saw the younger man's Adam's apple bob up and down, saw the sense of determination in the depth of green.
"I always thought that line about absence makes the heart grow fonder was just some BS an author wrote to sell books." Tony leaned forward slightly. "Until this moment." Without fear or hesitation, he capture Gibbs' lips tasting the lingering hint of coffee as his arm snaked around the older man's waist bringing their bodies together. He felt the lips against his respond, so warm so soft as he let his tongue slip across Gibbs' lips and savor the true flavor of coffee with a trace of bourbon. It was an intoxicating and arousing flavor. When he felt the arm suddenly embrace him and press their bodies closer together, he arched his back grinding his pelvis and growing erection against Gibbs…and that's when he felt the hand suddenly knot in his hair and jerk his head back. Their eyes locked and he watched as Gibbs' eyes darted back and forth, searching, questioning, and demanding an answer to a question unasked. Tony never spoke telling Gibbs everything with one look. A look that said I want this, I need this, I need you.
When Gibbs didn't move, didn't step away Tony took it as acceptance. Breaking free of Gibbs' grasp on his hair, Tony again seized Gibbs' lips this time devouring the man. His hands slipped between them as he tore at the button and zipper on Gibbs' jeans. Shoving his hands inside the now open jeans, his hand cupped Gibbs' cock and squeezed. Tony swallowed the low groan that fell from Gibbs' lips. He didn't want Gibbs to think, didn't want either of them to have time to think. Don't think about what this means for either of them, why they were both letting it happen or the ramifications that it would lead to. Tony just wanted it, needed it, and he just wanted Gibbs to feel that too.
Grabbing the button on Gibbs' jeans, Tony pulled them across the floor and towards the hall way never breaking the connection between them. When they reached the first open door, Gibbs jerked Tony tightly against him and hauled their bodies across the threshold and towards the foot of the bed. When the back of his legs made contact with the mattress, Gibbs stopped. Their lips parted, blue eyes met green, and for a brief moment both man seemed to think the other was about to stop. Instead without a word between them they were suddenly ripping each other's clothes off, both of them desperate for skin against skin. With clothes scattered at their feet, Gibbs dropped down onto the bed, pulling Tony into his lap as his lips descended to Tony's neck, nibbling and biting at the soft flesh.
Tony groaned as he rubbed back and forth over the hard cock beneath him eliciting a low guttural growl from the lips against his neck. Two strong hands suddenly latched on to Tony's ass cheeks as Gibbs forcible held him in place to stop the action. "Fuck." Fell in a hiss from Tony's lips as Gibbs' sank his teeth into his throat biting then sucking at his jugular. Gibbs' hands squeezed and clawed at Tony's ass, unwillingly creating that friction between them again. Gibbs' bit down harder on Tony's neck trying desperately to suppress the growl that rose from deep within him. His aching cock thrust up against Tony as the need threatened to take over.
As the growl reverberated against Tony's throat it made his entire body tremble. "Fuck me, please fuck me." The words had barely left his lips when he was thrown down onto the bed and he was staring up into lust filled eyes of the man above him. Never breaking their gaze, Tony took Gibbs' hand and sucked in two fingers, licking and sucking until they were moist. Then the hand was pulled away and a moment later he felt the hand between his already spread legs then a pressure as one finger slowly slipped inside. He licked his lips as a finger slowly worked in and out over and over before the second finger was added.
Scissoring his fingers back and forth, Gibbs watched as Tony chewed at his bottom lip moaning as the tight muscle loosened. Tony's hand caressed up Gibbs' arm and clutched at the older man's bicep as he started to push back against the fingers inside him. Gibbs was mesmerized by the sight before him, the naked man under him enjoying every moment and displaying his eagerness for more. And Gibbs wanted more, wanted to give in to the desire that had suddenly consumed him. Removing his fingers, he reached across the prone body and into the night stand beside the bed quickly finding what he wanted. He opened the lube and squeezed some onto his hand, quickly rubbing it over his hard cock.
Bending his knees, Tony watched as Gibbs' slipped between his legs, then leaned forward, place his left hand on the bed next to Tony as the other guided his cock. Tony felt the pressure against his sphincter and took a deep breath then slowly blew it out as the head of Gibbs' cock breached him. He hissed as he clutched at the bed sheets his eyes closed and his head went back.
Gibbs' hand caressed up Tony's ribcage, then across his shoulder until his fingers brushed against the younger man's cheek. Slowly, Tony's eyelids fluttered open and looked up at Gibbs.
Tony had never seen that look in Gibbs' eyes, the lust, the desire, the overwhelming need and he wanted to remember it. Remember it was there because he had created those feelings in the older man. Letting his hands explore down Gibbs' body, when he reached Gibbs' hips, his eyes locked onto dilated blue, reached back, grabbed Gibbs' hips, and jerked the man forward. Both men let out some animalistic cry as Tony impaled himself on Gibbs' cock. Gibbs' body fell forward his face next to Tony's as his left hand fisted into the bedsheet and his right hand latched onto Tony's hip.
Tony felt the pleasurable pain course through him as his body trembled, calmed then trembled again as Gibbs tried to remain still. Gradually, he felt his body settle as it grew accustom to the intrusion. His hands clawed up Gibbs' back feeling the muscles contract under his touch. When he reached Gibbs' shoulders, his fingers scratched downward again on either sign of Gibbs' spine until his fingers reached Gibbs' butt cheeks and again jerked Gibbs forward.
"Fuck" It came out as a groan as Gibbs' finger tips dug into Tony's hip as he tried to hold on to the last few shreds of sanity he possessed.
"Please."
The word was barely a whisper, but it shattered the last few pieces of control Gibbs had been holding on to and he suddenly pulled almost completely out of Tony then slammed back in. When he felt the body under him arch up and the hands clutch at the sides of his body, he gave in. His sanity and control obliterated, he took Tony with all the desire, lust, and unbridled need that had taken hold. Over and over he hammered into the younger man with an inhuman strength. It was all instinctive, taking the man with every ounce of his being because subconsciously he knew, knew this may be one and only time. If it was he wanted to sear everything about this moment into his very core.
Tony's mouth fell open as his eyes rolled back in his head, his own sanity faded away. There was nothing except the man above him, the scent of the sweat from their bodies, the melody of the animalist sounds they created from within each other, the connection of their bodies through hands, lips, and the cock inside him. He was already teetering on the edge and when Gibbs' hand started stroking his cock, he begged for release. "Make me come, oh god yes!" He felt the lips against his ear, heard the whispered words. Come for me. Not a command, but a desperate plea to fell the release of your lover. The world around Tony exploded into a rainbow of colors then went white as he surrendered.
Gibbs felt the warm release run between his fingers, then Tony tighten around him as the younger man's body convulsed beneath him. His own body responded plunging into Tony he followed the younger man into the abyss.
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Tony shifted slightly then realized there was more than just a blanket around him. Feeling the warmth of the body against his back he snuggled deeper against the heat and the arm around his waist tightened drawing him even closer. He felt not only the warmth, but a safety in the arms and he sighed contently. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so safe with someone. Then he felt the hard cock against him an images of earlier flashed through his mind. His eyes shot open staring out into an unfamiliar darkness. Alaska, the house, Gibbs' bedroom, Gibbs!. For a moment panic set in. Oh God Gibbs. The arm around him tightened again and he felt the lips brush a kiss against his shoulder.
The tender gesture somehow soothed the panic inside Tony and he allowed himself to believe that everything was going to be fine. Settling back against the body behind him, the desire rose as the hard cock pressed against his ass. Rubbing back against it, Tony purred as he wrapped his hand around his own cock slowly stroking it until it was hard.
"God, I wish I could see you stroking your cock." The words whispered in Tony's ear made him jump as Gibbs' hand splay out across his chest.
"I can't help it feeling your hard cock against my ass makes me horny." Tony groaned as the hand on his chested slid down and soft fingers played in the hairs above his cock.
"Tell me you want me to fuck you again."
"Fuck me over and over again. Please." Tony gasped as before the words had completely left his mouth, Gibbs' cock was shoved inside him.
"Is that what you are begging for?"
Tony couldn't speak as he tried to fill his lungs with air.
"My cock filling you up." Gibbs jabbed upwards feeling Tony push back. "You want it so bad." Gibbs' dropped kisses across Tony's shoulder then up his neck to the shell of his ear. "Fuck yourself on my cock; show me how bad you want it." A low growl dripped from Gibbs' lips as Tony did exactly that, slamming back onto Gibbs' cock, then slowly drawing forward, then slamming back again. "Fuck yes." Enjoying the sensation, Gibbs let his eyes close and his lips fall to Tony's shoulder, that's when he realized he still felt another motion. Reaching down, Gibbs' hand squeezed Tony's balls the body trembled against him.
"You like having your balls played with."
Again Tony couldn't speak as the need to come was becoming overwhelming.
Gibbs' fingertips racked across Tony's balls then squeezed gently. "Having your cock sucked, your balls played with and a couple fingers deep inside your ass."
Tony grabbed Gibbs' hand and brought it to his chest squeezing it tightly.
"You wanna make it last." Gibbs knew that ploy, needing to stop that additional sensation. Slowly he just gently rocked his hips keeping a slight movement of his cock inside the younger man and he heard the whimper Tony tried to suppress. He knew exactly what to say to push Tony towards the edge. "I know you jacked off in my bed." He felt the body against him tense. "When you slept in my bed, in my home…I saw you…I watched you." The body against his started to tremble. "I watched you come, heard you whimper my name. I knew and I watched."
The scream filled the air, echoing in the depths of the room as Tony came hard and fast, then crumbled back against Gibbs. Closing his eyes Gibbs let Tony's body tighten around him then started another steady rhythm of taking the younger man building his own release. He felt the grip on his hand loose and Tony take a hold of his finger.
Tony ran Gibbs' finger through the come on his stomach and brought it to his lips. He flicked his tongue out licking the tip of Gibbs' finger before sucking it into his mouth.
A groan dripped from Gibbs' lips as the erotic sensation caused his cock to twitch. Even in the dark it was erotic. "I want to taste you."
Tony completely let go of Gibbs' hand and using his own finger ran it through the come and offered it to Gibbs. He felt the finger sucked in between the lips and all the come licked from his finger.
"Taste so good, coming from such a bad boy." Gibbs hissed as he started to pound into Tony again.
"Oh you have no ideal." Tony purred as Gibbs' arm tightened around his waist and the older man made short quick jabs into him.
Gibbs' eyes closed as imaging of all the possible kinks and fetishes Tony had raced through his mind and before he could stop it he came.
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Tony stretched and rolled over reaching out and finding an empty bed next to him. His eyes shot open and he took a deep breath inhaling the strong scent of coffee filling the air. Rolling onto his back he stared up at the ceiling trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever may come when he left the safety of the bed. It was now the reality of daylight and so many things could happen.
He groaned. Great his bag was in the living room and he didn't want to put his clothes back on without a shower. Well, sheet it is. Wrapping the sheet around his body, he held it closed as he slowly walked down the hall and into the living room.
Gibbs was sitting on the couch, newspaper and cup of coffee in hand. He glanced up. "I put towels in the bathroom for you."
"Thanks." Tony scurried over and grabbed his bag by the door before disappearing back down the hall to the bathroom.
Once he heard the shower turn on, Gibbs tossed the paper on the coffee table and sat down his mug. He ran his hands down his face and leaned back on the couch, dropping his head back and staring up at the ceiling. What the hell now? He gave in last night without any thought of the aftermath. He gave in because he could see the desperate need in Tony's eyes, the need for someone to understand, to care, to make him feel something other than the regret and anger; someone to give into it all with him and as much as Gibbs allowed himself to surrender to that need, he now had to face the consequences of his actions. Lost in thought, he didn't hear the water shut off and when he looked up he was staring at the man he'd been thinking about.
"I have coffee but not much food in the house." Gibbs stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. "Hum, we could head over to The Outpost, grab a bite."
"The Outpost, a diner." Tony had never seen Gibbs look so nervous.
"Yeah." Gibbs shoved his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. "Good food, great pie."
"Everything sounds good right now. Sex always-" Tony stopped before he finished the sentence, wishing he could take back the few words of it he had said.
"Makes you hungry." Gibbs chuckled. "I remember."
"Right." Tony was so far removed from the man he had been at NCIS that it bothered him when he was reminded of the reputation he once had. "I don't say that phrase very often anymore."
"Kids take priority especially as a single parent."
"They do." Tony cleared his throat. "So let's go get some breakfast." Tony pointed at Gibbs. "And breakfast is on me."
Involuntarily, Gibbs' eyebrow went up.
Tony's eyes went wide at the double meaning. "I meant I'll buy, not literally that it's on me, I didn't mean to sound-"
Gibbs shook his head as he walked by the flustered Tony. "You're buying, I'm driving."
