Title: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Chapter 2
Slash/Mature: Don't like, don't read.
Summary: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or is it just a line we hear but never feel.
All mistakes are mine, this has not been proofed.
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"This is great." Tony groaned as he shoved another forkful of the omelet in his mouth. "And huge."
Gibbs chuckled to himself as he sipped his coffee. He forgot how much Tony liked food.
Another bite and Tony was done.
"This one does like his food." The waitress grinned at Gibbs as she approached the table then looked over at Tony. "May I take that plate or you gonna lick it clean?"
"Sorry. Just really hungry."
"I can see that." She said picking up the plate. "I usually get like that when I'm pregnant or after a night of knocking boots." She looked him up and down. "And I'm pretty sure you're not pregnant."
Gibbs couldn't help but laugh.
"You let him hook up with one of the Anton girls over at Charlie's?" She glared at Gibbs. "You know those girls are nothing but trouble."
"Anton girls?" Tony's eyebrow went up. "He didn't mention them or introduce me."
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"Well stay away from them." She swatted Tony's arm.
"Don't worry, I'm not looking."
"Good." She glanced back and forth between the two of them. "How about a piece of pie?"
"Two to go." Gibbs nodded.
"Great, on your tab."
"No." Tony held up his hand. "It's on-I'm paying."
She pulled a receipt bill from her pocket, added the two pieces of pie, and handed it to Tony.
He pulled out his wallet, handed her a couple bills and the receipt. "Keep the change."
"Thanks." She smiled and gave him a wink.
"I think I need to worry about you more than the Anton girls." Gibbs mumbled under his breath as he took a swig of his coffee.
"I heard that." She smacked his arm as she turned to Tony. "And I'm happily married." She tipped her head towards the kitchen and the cook. "Thirty years."
"Congrats." Tony smiled.
"You two have a nice day. Pie will be up by the register for you."
"Thanks, Marta." Gibbs nodded.
"Yeah thanks Marta." Tony added as she walked away and he smiled at Gibbs. "Always make friends with the waitress. That really should have been a rule."
"No rules, just life. The people here are good people."
"No rules?" Tony looked at him surprised. "Gave those up with the job?"
"Something like that."
"So do you think this is it, the place you spend the rest of your life."
Gibbs leaned back in the booth. He shrugged. "Maybe I don't know."
"But not D.C., you sold the house."
"I didn't sell it because of the location." Gibbs paused. "I sold it because of the history."
Tony cocked his head and looked at Gibbs. "You really are letting them go, coming to peace with it all."
"I think so." Gibbs smirked. "Shocked, surprised-"
"Grateful." Tony saw the confusion on Gibbs' face. "All any of us ever wanted was for you to finally come to peace with it. Not just Shannon and Kelly, but all of it, everything. And if coming here did that, gave you that peace, then I'm grateful."
Gibbs swallowed hard holding back the emotion.
"So how about we grab that pie and head back." Tony grinned. "I know it's only a few minutes, but I'm thinking I'll want that pie by the time we get home."
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Walking into the kitchen, Gibbs put the two togo containers in the fridge and when he closed the door. Tony was standing before him.
"Hey I told you I'd want that pie by the time we got home."
Leaning back against the closed refrigerator door, Gibbs' hand shot out and grabbed the side of the younger man's neck and jerked him forward their lips almost touching, but there was hesitation.
"If you want me you can have me. You don't have to ask, or question it, or even talk about it."
Gibbs' felt the breathe catch in his throat at the offer laid out before him. The problem was he did question it, all of it, and he wanted to talk about it but he couldn't bring himself to open his damn mouth and ask. Instead he just gave into the desire, crushing their lips together as he gladly took the man that offered himself up. Spinning them around, he shoved Tony against the refrigerator. Starting to undo Tony's pants his fingers brushed against the soft hairs above Tony's cock. Ripping his lips from Tony's, he stared into those haunting green eyes as he pushed the jeans down over Tony's hips and they pooled on the floor. Without breaking eye contact, Gibbs dropped to his knees staring up at the younger man. Unceremoniously, Gibbs sucked in the head of Tony's cock and strong hands locked onto his shoulders as Tony's body quivered.
Tony groaned as Gibbs treated the head of his cock like a lollipop, sucking and licking the tender head until Tony felt like he was about to come. Then it stopped and he felt the strong hand stroking his cock, it lasted only a brief moment, then his cock was swallowed to the base bathed in the warm moister of Gibbs' mouth. "FUCK!" The word came out as a strangled scream as Gibbs deep throated his cock. Tony's whole body was shaking, his knees felt as if they would give out, and he was doing everything possible to keep himself from coming. He wanted it to last wanted the amazing feeling to never end, but as Gibbs' assault continued Tony felt the control slipping away and the world start to close in around him. Seconds, minutes, he wasn't sure how long he held on, but his body finally won out and every muscle in his body tensed as he came. He struggled to stay standing as hands grabbed his hips helping to keep him upright. Warm lips stayed locked around his cock, as Gibbs' tongue licked over his cock head. His body shook as an aftershock raced through him and finally his cock slipped from Gibbs' mouth. A moment later he was held against Gibbs' solid form as his body slowly settled.
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"I can't believe the water stayed warm that entire time." Tony laughed as he buttoned his jeans.
"Big water heater." Gibbs said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Somehow they ended up in the shower together, Tony sucking his cock until he thought he would pass out. "There's beer in the fridge." Tony didn't seem interested in coffee. Gibbs smirked. "Or is it time to feed you again."
Tony couldn't help but smile. "Soon. Seriously, do you have any food in-"
"Jethro are you home." The melodic female voice rang out. "Hi." She said as she stepped inside and saw the two men standing in the kitchen. "You must be Tony." Walking over she extended her hand and he shook it. "Sorry small town word travels fast when there's another attractive man in a ten mile radius."
"Right, nice to meet you-"
"Makenzie, Mac to everyone except my mother."
Tony's eyes went wide. "You're Mac." He turned and looked at Gibbs. The woman was gorgeous. At least five eight or five nine, an hour glass figure, jet black hair twisted up in a clip on her head, and deep almost black eyes.
"Ah Jethro must have spoken of me, but forgot to use a pronoun." Mac grinned.
"Yes he did." Tony's look turned to a glare, but it faded as he turned and spoke to Mac. "This is a great place."
"The house or the city?"
"Both."
"Ah are we going to temp you to move here?" She smiled excitedly. "I have a couple other properties available not far from here."
"Oh, I am-"
"Tony has a daughter, back in Paris." Gibbs explained trying to get Tony out of the situation.
"Ah a daughter, but no wife?" She grinned.
"No wife."
"Your daughter would love it here. We have amazing schools, beautiful outdoor activities and the women outnumber the men, rare in Alaska."
"Did you come here because you thought you were going to sell a property?" Gibbs balked.
She took a deep breath. "Sorry, sometimes the realtor in me just takes over."
"It's okay, but FYI not looking to move." Tony stressed, he knew how realtors could be.
"Well you can always come for a visit."
Tony nodded.
"And back to your snarky question." She turned to Gibbs with a twinkle in her eyes. "I stopped to give you this." She held out a set of keys.
"Thanks." He nodded as he took them and shoved them in his pocket.
"Did you actually buy food so the poor man won't starve?" She rolled her eyes. "Or just planning to eat at The Outpost the whole time he's here." She turned from Gibbs and looked at Tony. "We do have other places to eat in this town, no matter what he tells you."
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"Take the man to the grocery store. It would be nice for you to have something other than coffee and beer in the house."
Tony couldn't help it he laughed.
Gibbs glared at him. "What?"
Tony shrugged. "Some things never change."
"He was like this in D.C." Mac's eyebrow went up.
Tony nodded. "Only addition to that menu was the bottle of bourbon in the basement."
"Jethro really." She groaned.
"We'll go to the grocery in a little bit." Gibbs said with an eye roll.
"Promise?" She pointed her finger at him.
He nodded.
"If he doesn't take you, call me I'll pick you up and we'll go." She pulled out a business card and handed it to Tony.
"He always keeps a promise." Tony glanced at Gibbs.
"That I do agree with." Mac nodded. "Tony it was so nice to meet you."
"You too." Tony smiled.
"And Jethro." She walked over and kissed his cheek. "Dinner one night after your friend leaves."
He nodded.
With a quick smile at Tony, she turned and left.
Gibbs waited, knew it was coming as soon as they heard the door shut.
"Really, Mac. You didn't think to tell me she was a gorgeous woman."
"Didn't think it mattered." Gibbs leaned back against the counter.
"It doesn't I guess, I just mean, never crossed your mind?"
"That she's a beautiful woman. "Of course."
"Not interested?" Damn it Tony thought to himself, shut your mouth and stop asking questions.
"No."
"Was she?" When Gibbs rolled his eyes, Tony shook his head. "Of course she was. I'm sure you walked in with those steel blue eyes sparkling, that crooked little half smile, and that John Wayne swagger. How could she not want you?"
"Is that why you wanted me?"
"What, no, I mean it, I just." Tony let out a long breath.
"Never mind." Gibbs put his empty coffee cup in the sink. "We'll head over to the grocery store so you don't starve." He was about to take a step when Tony spoke.
"You never saw me jacking off in your bed." Tony had known the minute Gibbs said it that it was a lie. "No."
"You were trying to get me to admit that I'd done it?" It was something in the way Gibbs said it. It was said more in the moment to arouse and question.
"Yeah." Gibbs turned around and looked at the other man.
"Why?" Tony couldn't understand why admitting that would mean anything. When he looked into the steel blue eyes it suddenly hit him. "You were trying to find out if I wanted you back then."
"Did you?" It was something Gibbs honestly wanted to know.
"Yes." Tony paused. "And yes, I jacked off in your bed thinking about you."
"You were never afraid I would walk in?"
"You would have assumed I was just jacking off to the latest women I was dating, you might have been upset, but it wouldn't have changed anything between us."
"You never gave me any reason to think otherwise." Gibbs had watched Tony chase everything in a shirt at NCIS, at crime scenes, at seminars, and on and on and on. So no Tony wanting a man or him in particular had never crossed his mind.
"I know. I just"- Tony sighed. "We have to talk about this don't we?"
"Eventually, unless you're just going to pick up and leave when the week is up and act like it never happened."
"I wouldn't do that to you." Tony was saddened that the thought had even crossed Gibbs' mind.
"Good to know." Gibbs truly didn't know what Tony was thinking or feeling about any of this. Other than he at least knew Tony had some amount of desire or attraction to him earlier on in their friendship.
Tony walked into the living room and dropped down into the chair knowing Gibbs would follow.
Gibbs sat down at the end of the couch. An awkward silence fell and Gibbs finally leaned forward. "I knew what you needed last night, why you needed me, and I accepted it without thinking if there was a deeper reason or what the ramifications for us might be."
"That's exactly what I wanted you to do. I just wanted us to be in that moment together and not think."
"And we did that, but in the kitchen earlier, what you said."
Tony remembered. It had come out before he realized the depth of the words and how Gibbs would take them. If you want me you can have me. You don't have to ask, or question it, or even talk about it.
"That was not just said in the heat of the moment, you meant it." Gibbs sighed. "Just wondering if that's just for the week you're here or after you leave can I show up in Paris and have you."
"Is that would it would take to finally get you to come to Paris?"
"If you had wanted me to come to Paris you would have asked." Gibbs shook his head, his frustration growing. "I need some context here Tony."
"Context?" Tony chuckled. "Who are you and what did you do with Gibbs?"
"Tony." Gibbs sighed, the anger starting to bubble through the frustration.
"I mean seriously, you wanting to talk, and the context behind-"
"Damn it Tony." Gibbs snapped. "I'm not your fucking boss anymore. Hell I'm not the same person anymore. What I am is the man you've had sex with in most of the rooms of this house and I need some answers so I know what the hell is going on here."
The outburst caused Tony to jump and he immediately regretted the lackadaisical attitude he was taking. Truth was he always hid behind the humor it made the final rejection easier.
Having waited for a response for what seemed like a reasonable time, Gibbs finally just shook his head. "Fine, you don't want to talk about this I can't force you." He stood up and made his way towards the door. "Let's go grab the groceries."
"Do you want me to leave?"
Gibbs could feel the aching sadness in the words. Tony already believed that the answer would be yes, but that answer never crossed Gibbs' mind. "No." Truth was the thought of Tony leaving right now made Gibbs physically ill. Reaching to grab his coat, the next sentence stopped Gibbs cold.
"I'm in love with you, have been for a very long time."
Gibbs' hand that was about to pluck his coat from the wall hook froze in midair. The words like a fist to the chest made the air rush from his lungs and his stomach muscles contract.
"I thought at first it was just a sexual attraction. People have fantasies about their bosses all the time. You spent more time with people at work, than most spouses, especially at our job." He paused. "Plus there always seemed to be this thing between us, some chemistry that I couldn't explain." Tony shrugged. "At least that's how I felt, but I figured it was one side and I just tried to push it away." He blew out a long slow breath. "And once I realized it more than just sexual attract, that I was in love with you, I buried it so deep…deep enough to make sure you never, ever knew how I felt."
Gibbs turned around; saw Tony leaning forward elbows on his knees, hands laced so tightly together his knuckles were turning white.
"Some days I felt like I failed at hiding it and that you knew but never said anything. I figured you didn't want to hurt me." Tony finally unclenched his hands and ran his them down his face. "I never once thought about telling you in all those years… until Orli showed up Tali." Tony chuckled shaking his head. "I immediately felt like I needed to explain everything to you, like I betrayed you, us. Not because of rule twelve, but because I was in love you."
Gibbs couldn't speak, couldn't move, just stood there glued to the spot staring at the man that was telling him things he never expected to hear.
"I thought Paris would make it better and for a while it did. I was focused on Tali, just figuring out how to be a father. Then I called you." Tony felt the knot in the pit of his stomach at the thought of that first conversation the two of them had after he'd been in Paris a few months. "And all those feelings I told myself I'd eradicated from even the depth of my soul flooded right back the moment I heard your voice." He swallowed hard, fighting back the emotion as his eyes closed. "It was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt…like the blood in my veins had become tiny needles that were slowly ripping me apart from the inside out. I thought I was going to throw up, that's why I ended the call so quickly."
Gibbs' eyes closed knowing the exact pain Tony had experience. He'd experienced it twice in his life and both times it had almost completely destroyed him.
"I remember racing to the bathroom to throw up and spending the rest of the day trying to convince myself I must have a bug and the way I was feeling really had nothing to do with you or the feelings that had suddenly consumed me again." Tony groaned. "You can only tell yourself that for so long when it happens every time someone mentions your name, sends a picture of you, you call…or the worst…hearing you almost died again." The tears fell without consent and his head dropped down.
The tears finally broke the spell Gibbs had been under and he walked over sitting down on the end of the coffee table, putting himself directly in front of Tony. He put his finger under Tony's chin and gently brought the younger man's head up. Their eyes met and Tony tried to swallow the emotion.
"That's why I stopped calling, avoided your calls, I just couldn't take the pain." Tony took a few slow deep breathes forcing the tears to recede. "As soon as I walked in and saw you, I knew coming here was a mistake. I thought I could um, come here and be with my friend." Tony shook his head. "The moment you turned around it all came rushing back, but this time you were different and something inside me believed you'd give in." He slowly let the air leave his lungs. "Even if it was only for a few days part of me thought that would be enough, that it would somehow make all those feelings easier to deal with when I left." Reaching out his hand caressed Gibbs' cheek. "I was wrong…" The next few words came out laced with fear. "Because now I can't imagine ever being without you again." Having said all of this, these were his feelings, his wants, and he had no idea how Gibbs' felt about any of it. Even now setting here staring into the steely blue eyes he couldn't get a sense of what the man was feeling. The uncertainty of it all suddenly sent a wave of dread through him as he realized, he didn't want to hear Gibbs response to any of it. All Tony wanted right now was the comfort of Gibbs' body, to feel that want and need from the man again before possible losing him.
Leaning forward, Tony's forehead touched Gibbs as his hands cupped the older man's face. Taking a long slow breath, Tony pushed down the fear and embraced the desire he had for the man. "Right now I don't want to hear how you feel. I don't want to know if this is going to end tomorrow, at the end of the week, or if we have a future together…I don't even want to know if you love me. I just want you, the man I've loved for decades…our bodies skin to skin, you taking me until the rest of the world disappears and there is nothing but you and me." His lips brushed against Gibbs' gently at first, part of him afraid the older man would stop him. Instead he felt the lips respond and suddenly he was being jerked to his feet. Then hands were tugging and tearing at his clothes trying desperately to remove the barriers of fabric between them. Even as Gibbs started moving them towards the bedroom, clothes were being strewed throughout the living room as they both fought to feel skin against skin. When they crossed the threshold to the bedroom, they were both naked, hands exploring each other's bodies, fingers clawing across flesh as if trying to claw their way inside each other.
As they fell onto the bed, Gibbs rolled onto his back tugging Tony with him forcing the younger man to straddle his hips. Gibbs' hands caressed up Tony's back, feeling the taunt muscles under his fingertips and the needful purr against his lips as Tony's entire body responded to the touch. His hips rocked up involuntarily shoving his cock against Tony and the younger man started rubbing back and forth over the hard cock beneath him. Gibbs' lips broke away, his head going back, his eyes closed momentarily as the action caused the need to grow and a low groan to drip from his lips. The next few moments were a blur it happened so fast, a noise, a wet hand quickly stroking his cock, then the now familiar sensation of the snug warmth of the younger man. His eyes shot open as he clutched at Tony's hips, his eyes locking on the halo of green eyes around blackened eyes.
Tony's hands went flat against Gibbs' chest as he ignored the obvious plea of the older man and quickly started to rise and fall over the cock inside him. The grip on his hips tightened and he felt the fingertips piercing into his flesh, not trying to stop him, but jerking him down harder with each downward move. It was this insane pace that caused Tony's legs to start to shake and his muscles ache. He didn't know how long it lasted, time had lost all meaning, he only knew his legs gave out and he clawed at Gibbs' chest to keep himself upright. Strong arms suddenly engulfed him as Gibbs sat up pressing their bodies together allowing Tony's muscles to slowly relax.
Gibbs' lips brushed against Tony's neck tasting the saltiness of the younger man's skin and licking his lips savoring the flavor. Kissing his was across Tony's shoulder, his fingertips crisscrossed over Tony's back sending shivers through the man as goosebumps covered the dewy flesh. He felt the body against his shiver and he took that moment to deliberately rock his hips upward gently moving his cock inside Tony.
Tony let out a needful moan as again his body shivered. His oversensitive flesh aware of every piece of his body Gibbs touched and tasted. As the warm lips slowly kissed back across his shoulder, the touch gradually disappeared, and he instantly knew… he felt the gaze, that stare countless times throughout his life, but for the first time ever he was truly terrified to open his eyes and met it. Gibbs could say everything or nothing just with his eyes and Tony was terrified to see what those eyes might tell him. He knew there was want and need, but was there something deeper and if there was would Gibbs' even let him see it. Tony's forehead rested against Gibbs, unable to bring himself to face that stare. And like Gibbs constantly seemed to be doing since this started between them, he accepted it. Tony's hands cupped Gibbs' face as the older man gradually started rocking his hips creating an agonizingly slow pace.
Gibbs' closed his eyes, again accepting that this was what Tony needed. That connection, the pure desire that obviously existed between them and right now Tony couldn't and wouldn't accept more than that. Anything Gibbs' tried to say or do right now would only be seen as sentiments expressed in the heat of the moment. The time would come, after the physical desire and need was quenched, Gibbs would say everything he needed to say, and it would change everything between them. Gibbs allowed his own need to consume him, felt his hip movements quicken as he crushed their bodies together. The hands that had been on his face now snaked around his neck and fisted in his hair as Tony wordlessly begged for more. Thrusting his hips upward, Gibbs let go, let go of words still unspoken between them, the emotions unexpressed, and the worry about what it all would bring. As Tony had asked for earlier, the world faded away and there was nothing but the two of them…bodies joined, skin to skin, Gibbs felt the hard cock against his stomach, the friction of their bodies crushed against each other causing Tony's breathing to become erratic and moans to escape the younger man's lips. Over and over he jabbed into the man above him, the world slowly starting to splinter around him. Then he heard the scream echo in the room and reverberated throughout his body as the warm fluid splashed against his stomach. That was all it took for the remaining sliver of control to break and Gibbs came screaming Tony's name.
