The thing about almost dying is that you tend to get a valid appreciation for being alive. Nearly dying twice should persuade you to commit to better life choices such as switching to Buddhism and vegetarianism. Sadly, you don't get such choices when you're a demigod. Or at least, near death experiences are an occupational hazard. I wasn't even surprised when I woke up and immediately recognised the surroundings of the Andromeda. Though sadly, I wasn't in a bed. I was locked in the brig. Clearly Luke was seriously pissed off at me. Someone must have been placed to guard me because the moment I started groaning, there was a sound of shuffling feet and a bang of a door. Luke would probably be here soon. My head ached like crazy, making me tentatively rub it as I sat up and carefully moved to see if anything felt broken. Nope. Just achy. At least they'd deigned to treat my injuries. Now I tried to get a fix on where we were, and as the coordinates flashed in my head, I sighed. Far out at sea. I wondered if the others made it out alright. I still had no idea what had been going on, but I'm pretty sure a goddess and a Titan were involved.

So knowing that I was probably in a whole lot of trouble I rested my head back against the wall of my cell where I could feel the ocean rising behind me. Somehow I could almost feel its emotion, my still slightly dazed state allowing it to creep into my senses before I'd hastily shoved it away, rejecting any connection to the sea. I would never allow myself to feel anything for the ocean, or accept any strength or power I might get from it. After all, I'd been struck by lightning when I was a kid and dad hadn't protected me. Why would I accept any of his heritage now? Bitterness laced my tongue and I frowned deeply as a shiver settled over me, feeling cold and empty until I began to realise that I felt like I was being swallowed by a void. Only too late did I attempt to push the feeling away, meaning that there was no escape and before I knew it, I heard Kronos whispering to me. You have meddled in my plans, foolish half-blood, and now he will suffer for it. Initially I thought of Percy, but I got the feeling that he wasn't the one Kronos meant. My mind then turned to Luke, and I panicked. Yes. I warned him that should he fail, he would pay the price, and you helped him towards defeat. How does that make you feel?

You're lying, I didn't mean to hurt Luke, I just wanted to save Percy. He was dying! He would have been crushed under the sky. I couldn't leave him like that. All the same, now he will suffer, and you are to blame. It is not too late. Join me. I can grant you everything you desire. The temptation was almost too much, it burned and twisted within me as I wrestled with my conscious as the empty laughter of the Titan Lord filled my head until gradually it faded away. I heard footsteps approaching and I quickly opened my eyes as they came closer. I knew Luke was there instinctively, staggering to my feet and going forwards until I reached the bars of the hold that had been outfitted just for people like me. Traitors. "Luke." He hissed at me and I flinched, but I didn't stop. "I'm sorry, Luke. I didn't know, I didn't know that there was a price to pay if you failed, I just felt Percy in danger and I just…"

"Quiet." His voice was terrifying. I clamped my mouth shut. I could hear his ragged breathing, angry and hurt as he glowered at me with unrestrained fire and fury. "I trusted you."

"You knew all along I would protect Percy, I never said I would let him die!"

"It was his own fault, he did not have to take the sky from Artemis, he could have left her there to rot and surrendered to me. I wouldn't have hurt him. I would have brought him to you, I would have pleaded with Lord Kronos to let him live just for you!" Desperately wanting to sob and cry it took everything I had to hold myself together as I wrapped my hands around the bars and tried to think clearly, but my thoughts were scattering so wildly in my head I could barely grasp at a single one. Never before had I been so afraid of Luke, but right now I was certain he was going to strangle me where I stood and choke the life out of me with his bare hands. "It's all your fault. Now we must go the other path since the first has failed. That was my last chance, and now I…he will…" Despite his rage, I could also hear the fear in his voice and I managed to scrape together my voice in order to nervously whisper.

"Luke, what's going to happen to you?" He glowered at me with such a searing intensity I felt my own skin burn.

"It doesn't matter now." Suddenly I heard the clang of keys entering a lock before they were turned, door swinging open to remove the barrier that stood between Luke and I. "You are summoned by Lord Kronos. Now you will answer for your actions." Another cold wave of dread came over me and I started to tremble, gasping fearfully as I pleaded with Luke not to do this. His iron grip took me by the arm and led me forwards. So it seems I will be experiencing death a third time, though this will be final, if all things go poorly. Amaryllis was gone, Luke had taken it away from me and I was flanked on all sides by guards who sounded like they were wearing full Greek armour and carrying spears, ready to skewer me if I so much as twitched suspiciously. Outside the ocean raged, causing even this great ship to rock and waver as all the force of the ocean was thrown against it in a bid to send it to the bottom of the ocean which caused me to think bitterly. Thanks dad, sure. Sink the boat with your daughter still on board. He probably didn't care if I drowned or not anymore. This only made the walk to the admiralty suite worse, because either way it seemed like I was going to die. The gods really had abandoned us. No one was coming to save me, and I was helpless to save myself.

Reaching the door I stiffened but Luke forced me to continue going, though there was almost a tremble to his grip. I couldn't tell if it was for fear or concern, or both, and for what I hadn't a clue. Kronos? Most likely. Me? Not so much. With nowhere to go, I was pushed through the door and made to face the casket of Kronos. Immediately I sensed his presence, causing a natural whimper to rise from my throat as I struggled weakly, suddenly feeling lethargic and as if I had aged a hundred years until all I wanted to do was curl up and never again move. Kronos beckoned me closer and I had no choice but to obey, the sinister voice crooning in a manner that could have been mistaken for softness were it not for the hollowness of its tone and complete lack of emotion and empathy. When my head suddenly felt it had been split open by an axe, I screamed and dropped to the floor, writhing and lashing out as I begged for him to stop the nightmares that blazed through my mind in sickening displays of all the things I feared only they seemed a thousand times worse for the vivid detail and realism they bore. If Luke had had to endure this for night after night…I had no idea how he was still sane.

I could feel the fabric of my sanity starting to rip as if it were made from woven cloth, the threads pulling and snapping as the screams of tortured souls filled me, the sensation of agony and pain from every part of my body being cut into a thousand pieces whilst my eyes seemingly burst from their sockets. The taste of ash and blood filled my mouth, choking me, and the chaotic bombardment of sensations only deepened the suffering. I have no idea how long I writhed and convulsed upon that floor with shattering screams, sometimes growing silent from exhaustion before starting again, but all the while the spectators were forced to watch as a warning of what would happen to them should they think to betray Lord Kronos, who was now steadily growing stronger. Such was my punishment, it struck a fear in me that did not ever fade from my mind. Just as the last threads of my sanity were about to break, Kronos released me and I fell motionless upon the floor, sobbing and weeping with the taste of salt in my mouth from my own sweat. I swear it tasted glorious compared to the taste of ash, smoke and blood. You have been warned, cursed child. Do not intervene again. You are lucky there may be use of you yet, thus I shall allow you to live. For now. I was so relieved to hear this, I almost thanked Kronos for his mercy and grovelled before him, but a thread of my pride remained and it kept me from saying anything.

Since my punishment was over I was free to go but I couldn't move a single finger of my body, let alone get up and walk away. I felt like my body had died but my soul had not yet left, trapped inside this lifeless husk. Someone came to me and gathered me up, lifting me from the ground. It was Luke. He carried me as I continued to cry and shake, unable to even lift my arms to hug him to me though he probably would have thrown me off him if I tried. Still, he seemed a little more tentative than before, and I thought that since he had also experienced Kronos's torture, perhaps he was now feeling more empathetic than angry. The further away from the casket he took me the better I felt, though only by the minutest of margins. I'd even prefer to be tossed into the sea than go through that again, and outside I could hear and feel the savage waves now roaring, stronger and harder than ever. Luke backed up through a door and carried me inside. This wasn't my old cabin. I'm fairly certain it was his. Between blacking out and waking up, he had carried me over to the bed and set me down, saying stuff to me and what I did catch sounded angry, telling me this was all my fault and that I should have known this was coming. I cried harder.

Some part of Luke seemed to have reawakened, because instead of lashing out, shouting or simply abandoning me, he came back and lay down on the bed with me with his arms curling around my body to draw me against his chest, where I sobbed and sobbed until his shirt was soaked with my tears. This was the most I had ever cried, even compared to my first year discovering I was a demigod. Hours passed with Luke hugging me, even stroking my hair a bit until the numbness in my body started to fade and life seemed to breathe itself back into me, everything becoming only a torturous memory as I then began to gasp out how sorry I was, fervently and repeatedly, trying to tell Luke that I truly didn't know, and that if I had I would have done things differently. I'd have taken Percy away somewhere, I would have helped Luke succeed, I'd have done anything if it meant he would be safe. "Ssh, Lily. I know. I know. It's okay now, the first time is always the worst. I'll pass eventually." There he was, my Luke. Soft and gentle and warm and so kind. I wriggled my arms free and clung to him, nor caring about anything because I was just so desperate for something solid to cling to, someone to draw comfort from I might even have clung to Polyphemus if he was the only one around. My sobs quietened into sniffling and little cries, then into tiny mewls, then I was quiet. I couldn't believe that Luke had suffered through that repeatedly and was still standing. No wonder he sounded bedraggled and hoarse most days. He'd even lost weight, I could feel how slim he was compared to what he used to be.

"I'll…I'll fix this. I'll find a way to make this right, Luke."

"You can't fix this Lily, there's no stopping it now." Refusing to accept this, I pleaded with Luke to tell me what Kronos had planned, telling him that I would take the punishment for him, that I would even throw the casket into the ocean and go with it to make sure it fell to the darkest depths even if it meant I drowned along with it. No matter what I offered or suggested, Luke would calmly tell me it was impossible whilst stroking my hair and sometimes my face, wiping away any new tears that appeared.

"This is my fault. I mess up everything…everyone's right. I am cursed. You should throw me to the crows, let the monsters eat me, I affect everyone I'm ever around…" This was Kronos's power still working upon me, making me feel hollow and see nothing but the worst in myself as my thoughts turned to despair and emptiness, but just as I was reaching the edge that would throw me over to become a mindless slave to his will, an empty body with no longer a spark of life to maintain my free will, it was Luke who pulled me back.

"Maybe you are cursed, Lily, but no matter what you will always be a blessing to me." My mouth dropped as I jerked sharply, twisting myself in order to stare at him even with these sightless eyes. His finger began to trace my jaw, looking at me in quiet contemplation. "You don't value yourself enough, Lils. When you're around, you set a spark in people that they don't even realise they have. You started one in me when we first met, I came back to life when you were around, because no matter what you refused to give up despite every obstacle in your path. Your passion for life is infectious, you refuse to bow your head to anyone, and no matter what you never let yourself be constrained by low expectations. You shatter them. Lily…you're beautiful, in a way that would make Aphrodite herself jealous." Instinctively I gasped, because in the back of my mind I knew Aphrodite would not take kindly to such a comparison, but I couldn't deny that hearing such nice things about me was incredibly uplifting. It was practically a kick in the teeth to the Siren song. I stared at Luke for a good long while before gradually sitting up, finding that I could move freely again.

"I…I appreciate that, Luke, I really do…but there's a lot more to me than just being obstinate and wilful." I said before then telling him all about listening to the Sirens when I'd passed their island with Annabeth and Percy, though I didn't mention their names. "There practically wasn't a bad word in the dictionary they didn't say about me, and I knew it was all true. I'm not a good person, Luke, at least I'm not good like a hero. I'm not selfless and fearless and all that. It hurt to hear the truth, but at least now I can't deny it. They showed me things too, my deepest desires and selfish wishes, and my fatal flaw that will probably be my downfall." Luke listened quietly, letting me get it all off my chest and suddenly, I felt a thousand times lighter, inexplicable as it was. "My fatal flaw is denying my true self. My heritage. That's what they told me."

"You know, I'm pretty sure we covered not revealing weaknesses to the enemy in training." I was so shocked that Luke made a joke that I laughed without meaning too, staring at him incredulously. Then I smiled, because I was just so glad that he was talking to me in his soft voice again.

"You're not my enemy, Luke."

"We might be, if you don't choose a side."

"Can't I just be on my own side? Maybe you should join me." He made a sound then, almost one of amusement but didn't agree. I guess it was too late now for him to change sides, he probably thought that the others would never take him back, would never trust him again, but I knew better. Percy had this incorrigible habit of being too nice to people and Annabeth would probably cry and run up to Luke in order to hug him if he went back and apologised, all changed and back to his old self. I felt lucky, because it was only me who saw these brief glimpses of the real Luke, whereas Percy and the others had only seen him under the influence of Kronos. Feeling brave, I slowly reached out to Luke, letting my hand move through empty space before my fingers then came in contact with his chest as he lay flat on the bed. I heard his head shift on the pillow, looking towards me as I let my hand come to rest against his sternum. "I am on your side, Luke." Whispering to him so quietly, I could barely hear my own voice, frightened that someone might overhear us. "Just yours. No one else's. I know I messed up before, but I swear I'll try not to again. I'll stand by you, but don't expect me to bow and serve him. Even if it comes to it, and it's just you and me against every monster, every Titan and every god…I won't run. You can rely on me. I swear on the River Styx." His hands shot out and grasped hold of me, a silent warning that such an oath could not be retracted, but it was already done and there was nothing he could do about it.

My words seemed to chase away the last of his resentment towards me, however, because next thing I knew he was crushing me in another embrace. We sorrowed together, because only we could know what the other had felt and gone through at the hand of Kronos, only we who shared in the same loathing and distrust of the gods. Now we only had each other to rely on, because all other friends and allies were far away and out of reach. "Let's run away." I heard him whisper lightly in my ear, feeling his lips brush against me. "Together. We'll run and never come back."

"Okay." I agreed immediately, and this seemed to shock Luke again because he let me go in order to look at my face only to see that I was deadly serious. If he wanted to run, then I'd run with him. I'd call for the Queen and we'd disappear into the oceans. I'd find a way to hide us somewhere safe away from everyone else, out of reach of gods and Titans, and Luke would protect me in turn. It was a stupidly unrealistic plan, but I didn't care. I'd do it even for the briefest chance at freedom and to pull Luke away from this, but even as he seemed to dwell on the idea and start to think that we could make it, his shoulders sagged and the light that had briefly flickered within him faded away. He looked to me sadly, knowing that it was just a pipedream, that we would be hunted down and killed no matter where we went, with enemies on both sides. We were cornered, so I exhaled deeply then brought my head to rest upon his shoulder as his arm slipped around me once more and held me close, my one and only shield upon this entire ship. Outside, the storm continued to rage.