All right, yes, I am fully aware of my many mistakes in my past chapter. I am so sorry. I feel like an idiot.

Any who, Oh, it's all Johnathan Larson's with the title from Aida.

December 24th 10:42 pm EST

Mark left again. For Maureen, Maureen's dumb protest. He'll never get over her. He'll never see how awful she is to him. She'll never accept losing him as a worker for her. He deserves better. But, what makes me so much better? I'd probably fuck it up somehow anyways.

But it doesn't stop me from wanting him even more.

Maybe once he meets Joanne he'll realize it's over with them. Mark will come to his senses. He'll let go of Maureen. He'll realize I've been waiting for him to notice me, me as more then just his washed up, loser, former junkie roommate. More than just a friend.

Yea, that's likely.

I pick up my guitar and pluck a few strings trying to remember the old melody I always had had memorized. Plucking a few strings I had found the tune from many years ago.

Still strumming on the untuned instrument there was a light tap on the window. Mimi. Damn it. She opened the latch from the fire escape with ease and climbed in the loft.

December 24th 11:07 pm EST

"Mark? You still going to Maureen's protest?" I ask.

"'Course. You want to come?" he said tightening his scarf around hid neck.

"Yea, I was thinking about it." I pause for awhile thinking if this is what I really wanted to do. Mark seems delighted I want to leave, but know I don't think I can. I was going to find Mimi, apologize. Kicking her out like that was pretty awful of me. Maybe invite her to come along. Nothing more though. I couldn't be with her, and think of mark at the same time. It would kill me knowing she wasn't the one. "I was thinking about finding the girl from downstairs. Seeing if she wanted to come too…"

"Great. Common, we should get going." He said and handed me my jacket.

"Yea, alright." I say and reluctantly pull on my jacket and exit the loft door.

December 24th 11:15 pm EST

"She said, "Would you light my candle?" And she put on a pout. And she wanted you. To take her out tonight?" He asked, walking down Avenue A.

"Right." I sighed.

"She got you out!"

" She was more than ok, but I just couldn't then. I just got mad, so I made her leave." I explained.

"I thought you said she was kind of nice?" I questioned.

"Ugh, let's just forget and go to the show." I scanned the street once more. My attention was brought to a bunch of junkies huddled around a dealer. I sigh. "There,' I point to the cloud of druggies. "The one in the leopard coat."

" Whoa! You turned her down?" He looked at me incredulously. I shrugged. I can still tell him. Forgot this stupid Mimi thing for now. Before she spots me. It's not the perfect the time, it's not even a good time. But it good enough for me.

"Mark, can we-" I started.

"Go over she's done." He said, and pushed me toward her direction.

I looked over shoulder and saw Mark giving me an encouraging smile. Damn it, if I didn't love him I'd kill him right now. When I turned around Mimi was right in front of me. "Uh, hey."

"Hey." She said quickly.

"Look, I'm really sorry about the way-"

"Just forget it." She said hastily.

"Well, could I make it up to you… or something?"

"How?"

"Dinner, after this protest thing."

"Sure." She said, and smiled shyly.

"Here come meet my friend mark, he'll be there tonight as well." I said leading her over to where Mark had watching us on the sidewalk.

"Mark, this is Mimi, she'll be joining us tonight." They exchanged greetings and shook hands.

" Common, let's go to the lot, where Maureen's performing." Mark said and we continued down the street to the lot.

"So… who's Maureen?"

" My Ex. But, I'm over her." Mark said and blushed. Yea, you're over her. You only think about her every other second. God, what am I doing with this? I thought I wasn't going to do anything Mimi, and here I am her hand 'accidentally' brushing with mine every other second. She finally tried to grab it. I pulled immediately away. Mark gave me a wide-eyed look.

"Please, not yet." I say. I can't do it in front of mark. Knowing I want to rip my hand from her grip more than anything.

Her eyes fluttered a little. "Is that a warning?" She asked in a bubbly way. I looked the other way and rolled my eyes. I looked at mark walking slightly in front of us alone. I would give anything to run up with him and hold his hand.

I looked at Mimi, she was a sweet girl. But, she wasn't Mark. She'll never be like him, or as important as him. Though, maybe if mark and I weren't meant to be, I'll have to settle with her.

I look at Mark one more time. I should tell you…