"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." NIETZCHE, Friedrich


January 21st, 1800

The Kingdom of Lindblum

...

...Yeah, Alexandria sure is pretty. Maybe one day aunt Emma and I will visit it...

...The beach? It's kinda hot in there. Better hot at summer than cold at winter...

...Carriages? I'd look like a jerk near those fancy carriages...

...That man sneezing over there, eugh. I already feel sick near these people...

...Boss didn't paid me. Not as much as I expected. See, that's what you earn after hours of hard work, almost nothing. Oh well...

...Oh, my back! It hurts so much. And I'm not even 20...

...Lord! Gimme patience, or I'll bite this guy's elbow...

...I'll teach my daughter how to ride a Chocobo. Anything for Marlene...

...Go to the market to buy some pickles. Right, pickles. The kids love it...

...I'd rather walk on my feet than inside these air cables ever again! Heat is insufferable!...

...Everyone looks so sad. Well, they should be! As if they understood my pain. The pain of my people...

...Whoa! Lindblum is amazing from here! Mom was right. Is that the sun? Never saw it back at home. I miss home, my friends...

...I hate my young brother, but he's all that I have. He and mom. Look at him smiling. I wish I could smile...

...A friend of mine told me what happened at Burmecia. Never in my soldier life I have heard of such atrocities...

...Did someone!? I can't believe it. 'Alright, whose pervert hand is this? Oh, is it yours, sir? Because it was on my butt!' Hmph! I wish I had the courage to say it loud...

...Why did I offer to help all those poor mices? I don't have Mary's saintly patience to attend those souls at church...

...I never saw a burmecian that close. I was told they breath fire out of their mouths as a kid...

...Gosh, I hate these rats. Everywhere I go and I see some of 'em hanging 'round, stealing our food, our jobs, my wife...

...Did those alexandrians killed that many people? Family people? Man, war gets dirtier every day...

...I wish I could help all the homeless. If I had gil enough...

...Is he smoking? Right after sneezing!? God, I wanna get out of here...

These are the thoughts of the many minds within a single Air Cab moving from the Theather to the Business District. Many are aware of what's going on around the world outside Lindblum. A few of them are shocked, baffled, about to cry in public with no hiding place, while a few others are living their lifes as usual, with their carreers, relationships, goals, anything outside chaos.

Neverthless, the burmecian diaspora affected everyone's lifes. A massive exodus of such proportions has not been presented since the people who lived at the plains covered in Mist moved to the highest plateaus. It happened ages ago, those times filled of conflicts between tribes, brother against brother, species against species. Some things never change, as history repeats itself...

— Lindblum has became an island for the wealthy – said a teenager burmecian to his friend, enjoying of his first mug of beer, paid with a shoemaker's wage – the cost of living increased, the demand for food increased too, everything increased from day to night. Except my... gosh, I don't even have a girlfriend.

— Don't worry, Kain. Things will improve over time. It might be hard now, but the future will be better.

— Whose future? They even stole that from us. As if taking our friends and family's lifes were not enough for those damned alexandrians – Kain has no other friend than Redwind. Redwind and the mug, two unbreakable friendships.

— My condolences for your parents – Redwind used to be a Dragoon Knight before it all fall apart. He still carries on of its javelin as a sort of memento, or in case someone gets behind to steal his wallet, the most precious thing in a jungle like Lindblum – you really liked them.

— My old man and I went fishing every weekend. I didn't liked to eat fish that much, but each day we got a different one. I looked at those as a kid and dad was like 'see? This is fish' and I was left openmouthed every time. The scales, the fins, the ability to breathe underwater... There was a time of my life, you may not believe me, but if you asked me whose animal I wanted to be, I'd say fish.

— And I would like to be a parrot, sonny – said Bobo, owner of The Doom Pub. He liked to engage in random guest's talks – or any bird that can fly. YOu know, to be free of this misery, to find a partner for the entire life...

— Me too, Bobo – Redwind said, before taking a sip of white wine – the furthest I could reach of the skies was by jumping ver tall.

— Oh, so you're a Dragoon Knight?

— Used to be. I could dispose, or even sell all this equipment if I wanted, but I'm keeping it anyway. Might be useful, who knows?

— Yes, who knows – Bobo tried his best to cheer the mood of the locals and outsiders. Despite the smile at face, the place resonates of a kind of sadness disguised by alcoholic grimaces – like, you know whose chair you're sitting, right? When a guest of mine is memorable, I do remember them for the rest of my life.

— Does that include men too? – a man yelled from distance, his voice filled of rotten barnacle scent.

— Oh, shut up! – there were times Bobo reached his limit, like now. He's mostly docile with clients like Redwind, though – anyway, another Dragoon Knight sitted on this very chair. She was a pretty lady, if not the toughest one I have ever seem. Like my grandma.

— And how was she?

— White-haired, tall, wore red, had green eyes...

— No way! – Redwind spilled his wine after hearing it. He began to poke Kain's shoulders – hey Kain, look! I am sitting on same chair as Freya's!

— Who?

— Freya Crescent. She was here! – Redwind pointed to his chair, all excited.

— Yeah. Her butt sit there, so what? – as for Kain, nothing was a surprise enough for his – wait,did you two?-

— Not really. She ain't my type, but we studied together at the same training school – between sips of wine, Redwing told his past story – Sir Fratley was my teacher. Me and Freya and... there are not many Dragoons, but I'd say a hundred candidates. Ten were chosen as the best. I was one of them.

— Sir Fratley?

— Yes. He was my tutor before he left. I didn't missed him as much as Freya, though.

— Why not?

— I don't know, Kain. I mean, Fratley taught a lot to his apprentices, most the knowledge I borrow of this world and what I am to the world came from that guy. He was sympathetic, but a kind of asshole at times. When it came to training, he really put us to sweat and bleed at same time, like the world turned to hell and we were there to pour the flames.

— Guess not everyone is perfect – said Kain, losing equilibrium – tell me more... more about this Fratley. I heard he left, why?

— I was fine with his decision of leaving Burmecia – Redwind felt he was up the clouds, but he knew he had to come down once again – it came out of nowhere, but it matched with his principles. Fratley wanted to make a difference not just by telling people that things are the way they are, but that they also change. Not by themselves, of course not. We are the ones who promote change, he used to say. No matter the fear, anxiety or any negatives felt by the moment, things change, it's how it's meant to be.

— Yes, things change – Kain could not deny it, though that didn't meant he agreed with such – and this Freya? Where does she fit in all of this?

— Well, Fratley never grew a close bond to any of his students. He was more of a reserved guy outside duty. I wonder what Freya saw on him, something more than his speeches...

— Oh, so she had a forbidden crush on him?

— More than that. I really have no idea what she saw on that skinny.

— For someone who says that lady ain't your type, you sure have no idea – am I feeling jealous? Redwind thought, in regards to what Kain said. He can't event trust himself at the moment. Speaking of what was said...

— Haven't I told you this before? About Freya and all this stuff?

— Honestly, I want to forget everything that happened and let it be a dream – Kain said, after taking his last mug – alright, let's get going. This time you pay, right?

— Can you walk? – asked Redwind, leaving his gil on the table.

— I am fine. I am fine... – dazzled like a ballet dancer on training, Kain could barely walk on his own.

— Whatever – fortunately, Redwind was at his side to share of a friend's shoulder – good evening.

— Everyone's welcome at my pub – Bobo said, cleaning a glass bottle as Kain and Redwind leave by the front door.

Lindblum surely looks different from Burmecia in aesthetic, culture, history and influence. Seeing a few familiar faces do not change very much the status quo of the most powerful nation on Gaia for two bored teenagers. While the majority of the local population has been receptive to the burmecian refugees, a few do not agree with the assimilation of different worlds as permanent instead of temporary.

— What are you looking at!? Am I a freak for you? – Kain comes across one of those kind of people – look at the mirror and ask yourself if you're all your wig tell ya!

— That was a bit harsh, don't you think? – Redwind does not want to engage in any fights. Not on his actual state of mind.

— You saw the way that ugly fat looked at me. She... she gave me the eyes. The ones that say 'hey look, a filthy rodent, a black pest'!

— Yeah, I saw it. How do you think I feel when people look at me and judge who I am by having this face? – anger briefly overcame the whole of Redwind's body, like he was asking for a fight. He denied the destructive impulse.

— We're shitty at making good impressions, are not we? – Kain clenched his fist, then opened it after taking a breath – so, where are we going to?

— I'll see my mom – Redwind said, looking at the skies as he heard the church's bells.

— Whose flowers? – Kain came near a flower store, guided by their strong scent.

— Hyacinths. She likes those.

— Right. I'll pay this time – Kain felt his head was about to explode. No matter, he offered the flower girl some of his gil and bought a a vase of yellow hyacinth.

— You sure you can handle this? – Redwind is still worried about his friend's equilibrium.

— Sure. It's not that heavy.

— Okay... – Kain's stubborness usually got much of himself, though Redwing appreciated his willingness to help – we're in the Industrial District. Mom's at the Business one. Not too far away from here...

The two young burmecians enter inside an Air Cab. Afternoon, rush hour, and the Cab is filled of all kinds of people and scents. Coal workers, airship engineers, laywers and all kinds of odors, the strongest of them coming from the seats soaked by beggar's sweat is to make anyone puke. Kain feels he's still inside the pub, like he went to that place once and his soul never left. At least the sunsets are beautiful, though Redwind. Ever since he was a child he heard about this thing called sun and how it kept everyone warm and alive. He wonders to himself how could he have lived so long under the rain.

Still, the burmecians live at the shadows. Of tenants, shelters, human's benevolence... Redwind heard a lot about Burmecia's glory days, how it once was one of the greatest empires around Gaia, birthplace of warriors and legends that reverberate to this day. The once Dragoon Knight can't ignore the view he had a while ago of an old warehouse, filled of all kinds of burmecian weaponry of centuries. Those pointy, sharpt javelins hanging around the empty room, covered in dust, all put together in a row like tombstones in a graveyard, is that the only legacy left for the new generation?

Burmecia... a graveyard for a race of people who destroyed each other over pride and arrogance.

— Whew... Finally! – Kain has been holding all the air within his lungs before the Cab door opened – I'll never ride a Cab with lot of people ever again!

— I'm still getting used to rush hour – Redwind said, looking at the other passengers leaving the Cab – hope I'm not late for visits.

Lindblum's church is currently going throught renovations. There used to be a beautiful mosaic and a majestic golden organ inside, no news of repairs until now. The Regency invested a lot on new technologies for the population's benefit, to make life easier and out of worries. With science, men is closer of God everday, as Cid Fabool IX stated. Nations have their ego, just like individuals.

Meanwhile, the church has became a new home for many of the injured and invalidated burmecian families. There they live, supplied with food and health, away from fear and humiliation of being defeated and, in rare exceptions, killed.

— Excuse me, but I'd like to talk with the prettiest girl around town. That is, if she's not tired of receiving any fans already! – Redwind brought a bit of mood to a kind of soulless place. He then finds his mom laying upon a wooden seat.

— Oh, thank you, Eugene...

— Mother, please. not in front of others – embarassed, Redwind ignores the feeling of shame. He's glad that his mother is alive and smelling flowers.

— How are you doing, Mrs. Ifalna? – Kain is also glad of seeing a familiar face, as well as bringing flowers to the living ones.

— I am fine – Ifalna said, as she turned over to the yellow hyacinths. They reminded her of home, the rain, childhood... a single flower evoked so many feelings and sensations – thank you very much. Kain, Eugene...

— Mother... – Redwind tried his best to hide away his flushed face – how many times do I have to tell you my name is Red-

— And I say it's Eugene – Ifalna smiled, after noticing the red on her son.

— Come on. Eugene is such an old name for my age.

— It was your grandfather's name

— I know. I miss him too – Redwind took a sit near his mother. He looked more at her bandaged legs than he used to at those green eyes.

— Tonight we'll be having chicken soup.

— I see – there is a kind of decay around the church, on everyone's sight, but at least their stomaches won't be empty, thought Redwind – and your legs?

— They're healing. Today I tried to walk on my own.

— Really? And how it went?

— It hurted a bit, but I walked three squares without help.

— Three squares? I can't believe it. This way, you'll find yourself surrounded by those noble lads

— Oh, I'm flattered! – Eugene... I mean, Redwind, he could not stop caring about his mother. TO think one day she could walk like any person, as easy as breathing, and then an entire house collapses and crushes those underneath.

— Hope you get better soon, mom. My little warrior! – Redwind moved his hand slowly and gently rubbed Ifalna's head. He may have hide the flushness of face, but the tears were set free for anyone to see – a miracle she could make it...

— Indeed. Truly a miracle – Kain said, looking around for a familiar. He found no one, but Redwind's family.

— Emergency! – a burmecian woman yelled, pulling the front door of the church. A wounded rat child lied in her arms – oh, Redwind! Glad to see you.

— Me too, Erina – Redwind felt happy by seeing someone he knew, though there was no time for receptions whatsoever – what happened?

— I found this kid near an alley, and they... my God, what they did to the little – Erina's voice was rigged by anxiety and fright.

— Who did this? – Kain felt revolted. He was left out of words – kid's been beat up bad. He can't even speak right.

— Don't worry, they'll take care of you – Redwind said, as he gave the boy to the nurse's care. He felt confident that the boy would be safe – other than nasty shiners, he'll be alright.

— Thank you, Red – Erina said, following a tight hug on Redwind – I don't know what's happening. It's as if the world's gone crazy and is about to fall out of our shoulders

— Then I'll hold it for you – anything to make Erina feel better, thought Redwind.

— Whose ill mind have done that? – Kain felt upset, more than ever.

— And why? – Redwind was shocked by the brutality. The burmecians at church were all shocked. A few were not surprised at all...

— Why? Is there even a WHY? – Kain believed that there was no reason, or any justification for such violence.

— I saw. I saw everything – Erina said, as she cried on Redwind's shoulder – see, I was walking at the market to buy some oranges. Just as I took my wallet, the kid... he stole an apple, other folks saw it too and they followed him, cornered him and they... they got mad at him for nothing, nothing but steal a single apple...

— Humans – said Kain, in contempt – adults did this. Human adults.

— Red, I'm no heroine. I... I don't know what's wrong with me – Erina spoke softly, between sobs.

— Calm down, Erina – Redwind and his friend took a seat. They could not stand on their feet, not after witnessing what they just saw.

— For a moment, I felt the energy, pure evil energy flowing throught me... I saw myself punching that boy too...

— But you did not. Instead, you brought him here. That was very kind of you.

— I know. But I didn't rushed right in, I watched a while. I... I found it interesting, like I was enjoying it! And that's so wrong, my... I had to force myself to go in and stop it, but then it was over... they were hitting him and they left, like it was nothing else... nothing else, Red.

— We all have dark thoughts. The important is that you conquered yours, you did save him... he's safe in here – Redwind said, holding Erina's hands. Something in his voice softened her breath and soothed her heartbeat – I still don't get it. Why would they do this? Just a single apple, that's not right. I see no reason...

— RAT! Rat is the only reason they need to beat the crap out of us! – Kain shouted, with the intensity of a volcano erupting – just like what they did at BUrmecia! They didn't cared if we had families or friends or children, that didn't mattered at all! As long as we live under these worthless, pathetic, miserable rat skins, they need no other reason to keep exterminating us!

— Chill out, Kain – Redwind felt pissed as well, though not as much as his friend.

— Because of people like that, who do not feel like telling the difference between punching a kid to a rat, our species were almost driven near extinction, don't you see it!? That's the only reason they need and will ever need, GODDAMNIT! – silence follows the words of rage. Kain took a moment to realize what he just said and left the church, without looking at anyone's faces.

— Won't you follow him? – Erina asked to Redwind. They haven't saw Kain that nervous before.

— He can take care of himself. We don't need to worry about Kain.

— But what he said about humans and burmecians... that had an effect on me.

— He was not feeling right. In fact, none of us are – Redwind said, not sure of what to do next. The future seemed far more distance and out of light – let's just forget what happened, shall we? The boy is going to be fine. I promise. If I had knowledge of any advanced healing skills, I could help everyone...

— Was that your friend, Eugene? – Ifalna heard everything, like many around – or was he possessed by a demon?

— I really don't know, mom. Kain... he never felt alright with all the moving – Redwind came near his mother, together of Erina.

— I see. As hard as it may be, I too was young like you and Kain.

— You are not that old, mom – in a way, Ifalna looked so young for her son

— Oh, don't be silly... Red – young but with an old lady's charisma – is that how they call you? That's weird. Imagine calling someone Green, or Blue. Thinking about it, Blue is a good name. What was I saying? Yes, I was young, I too have commited my mistakes, all of them had consequences.

— You mean... – Redwind didn't liked the way his mother staring at him, with a smile – you telling me that I was born...

— Life works in mysterious ways, that's what she mean – said Erina.

— You're right. Whenever you see a trouble, think about an opportunity that comes after. I didn't liked to take care of my brothers, much at least Eugene here. He didn't wore any pants until he was two.

— Mother! – Redwind flushed again, as his mother and Erina giggled – you truly are the master of awkwardness.

— Oh well... it's good to share of a laugh a while and another. It distracts me from the pain below – Ifalna looked at her legs and wondered when she could walk freely again. It's a dream close of coming true.

— So yeah, trouble, opportunity, mistakes, consequences... get to the point, mom.

— Young people do commit mistakes, my dear. They suffer a lot of pressure, they are forced to grown up a bit, to be independent, all these things that were not there before as kids. In the end, they end up feeling like they need to become someone or else life is boring and frustating, which isn't. Yes, it's hard to be young, but it's the best age of all. That Kain, he must have perceived what he said was not right and left right away without saying a thing. Very wise, for a young fool like him. I remember, those long and lazy nights I've spent with the man who would be your father. I wish you could have met him before war, son.

— It seems war never ends, mom – Redwind looked around, seeing the many victims of a needlessy conflict – I'm still adapting to all this stuff, everything is so fresh and new here at Lindblum. Maybe one day, when you get better, I'll take you to a walk. You, me, Kain, I hope... Erina.

— Me? – Erina asked, surprised by the mention of her name.

— Oh, did I said your name? Well, uh... why not? This if you'd like to go to a walk with me. Oh, not me! I mean, me, of course, but mom and Kain too – Redwind felt embarassed, this time not by his mother's doing.

— I see what's happening here...

— What? Mom? No! Nothing is happening, I swear! – Redwind began to sweat nervously – I just thought about the possibility of inviting Erina to a walk.

— Whose walk?

— Well, the one we're together. By together, I mean you and Kain, when he gets alright. When you get alright. When Erina... she's perfect. Not perfect that way! Perfect as fine, oh God...

— My son is, like you say, a sucker when it comes to talk about his feelings – Ifalna knew what happened with her son happened with her as well. The youth never changes, she thought.

— Am I, mom? I could tell right now how I feel, but it feels so... so weird. I mean, Erina came in here with an injured boy, poor thing...

— I... I am fine – the boy barely moved his jaw, but he was able to say something

— You can speak? – Redwind felt a warmth on his heart – hey, little buddy. You'll be fine, we are good people. What's your name?

— ...Marco.

— Everything will be okay from now on, Marco – Redwind said, putting aside the wounds to see a strong boy – what do you like? I'll see if I can give it to you, or anything.

— ...Ice cream... – Marco smiled.

— You like ice cream? Me too! Best thing Lindblum has ever invented – Redwind has made a new friend – I'll get some ice cream from you, pal.

— You do well with kids – said Erina, feeling fine that she saved a life.

— Do I? They say a Dragoon should behave well in front of people, specially kids. They are the future. But I'm no more a Dragoon, you see...

— Why not? You're still wearing the coat, the helmet, the javelin... you are, indeed, a Dragoon.

— Well, to begin, I'm outside duty. I haven't been training in years, so I kinda forgot everything. Like when your muscles are so stiff and strong, but you relax for a while and you're skinny and bare-bones again. If I see a beast in front of me, all I do is run like hell.

— Still, you do well with kids. It's not for everyone.

— What else could I do? Tell Marco that it was his fault that he got injured? Nah, that would be mean to his. You don't treat kids that way, that's a sin.

— I like that in you. Your willingness to help another without getting nothing back in exchange. Nothing but being aware that the person you're helping is fine – Erina said, coming closer of Redwind.

— I wonder how Kain is doing. Maybe he'll be fine by tomorrow – Redwind felt unconfortable with that kind of closure. He felt a lot of things that had nothing to do with another, so many confusing thoughts and sweat all over his skin – so, about that walk I mentioned earlier... would you, eh, like to... you know, take a walk with me? Mom and Kain included, of course.

— ...I have a boyfriend – Erina answered, to which Redwind sighed.

— Do you? That's fine...

— Yes, I do. And I'm looking right at him.

— WHAT!? Oh my – it took a while for Redwind to realize he has been hit by the arrow. How it hurts! How it feels good! How I wanna... – and that's the part where I faint in front of everyone, but that would not be realistic, don't you think?

— Heh he... you are an undeniable weirdo, Eugene – how he hated to be called that way, but something in Erina's voice... she could say anything to Redwind and he would feel fine, up the clouds – see you later.

— Later – Redwind waved to Erina, who left by the front door. He felt lonely...

— I see you've made two friends. A boy and a girl – at least he had his mother's company. And a bowl of chicken soup too.

— Was she fooling me? Like, what the hell... that was so sudden.

— Not for me. You and Erina were friends since you two were children. Remember? You two made castles out of mud.

— Yeah, mud castles – Redwind recalls his childhood spent with friends, the first girl being Erina – I didn't liked girls that much. Mom, why are you smirking?

— There was one day you made a castle, and you wanted to win from Erina, she really had a talent by making those. Oh, yes... you ran out of mud, so you had to make a castle out of poo.

— Really, mom... – Redwind didn't find it funny at all, but his mother laughed in a shy way that always made him smirk – was I that desperate to prove myself my mud castles were better than Erina's?

— As it seems – Ifalna appreciated of a chicken's soup, gossip and to talk with her son. To have all of these together is a bless – my how much you two have changed. Have you noticed?

— I did. Something in Erina... as a kid, I do liked her company, though I didn't liked how she sounded smarter and responsible than I did. Yet, we were still playing mud castles, jumping rope, doing kid's stuff. Now that I saw her grown up now and then... – Redwind took a deep breath, trying to focuse his million thoughts in a coherent way – I look at Erina and something happens with my head, I can't describe it without feeling awkward and emotional, which I'm not. Her scent mixes with my senses. That short hair grew into a long ponytail, she wears different clothes, she has different eyes, different voice, different... how do I say?

— Bends?

— Mom!...Yes, you're right. A lot has changed on Erina. Nothing to do with her breasts.

— They all have to do with, my son.

— I can't believe we're having this conversation... – constrained, Redwind wishes he could change topics – a lot has changed. Never liked to take bath, but Erina makes me want to. Something in the way she looks at me, I don't know, it's weird.

— Was Erina the only girl who mixed with your head this way? – Ifalna listens to her son, with the understanding of all he has been throught.

— Well, no... yes... I don't know. I thought Andrea and I felt the same, but we didn't. There was Hilda too, she was, how do I say? Too wild for me. I can't imagine how would it be to present her to you, mom. As a matter of fact, Freya and I... no, we never had a thing, or a chance with one another. She was too tough for me, and I too... goofy for her.

— I understand. Erina must be the one.

— Is she? What if she isn't, mom?

— What do you mean?

— I.. I felt this before. It's like I tell myself to do this, do that without actually feeling myself. Like this talk, or Erina coming to me and I trying to comfort her. What was that? Why did I holded her hand, or let her cry on my shoulder?

— Is there anything wrong with what you said? – Ifalna felt Redwind's confusion as if it was her own – truly a gentleman, your father would be proud.

— Yes, that's right. I want to make Erina feel better, sure I want! She doesn't deserve to suffer like that. No one does. And our people... we have suffered enough, have we? – every time Redwind looked around, all he saw was pain and suffering, wondering whether it was over or not.

— Kain... – said Ifalna, following a huge gap of silence broken by moans – a lot of harm can be done without noticing.

— Yes, Kain. I'll talk to him tomorrow. He didn't meant to say such things, did he? Kain's like a brother to me. A brother I never had... I too don't want to see him hurt – Redwind said, before drinking all the chicken syrup – my, that's delicious! I should thank the cooker for making it.

— Thank her for me – said Ifalna, satisfied with such heavenly dinner.

— I will, mom – In company of her son, of all best things.

There was a time when all in my mind was love, thought Redwind. Now I find that most of the time, love's not enough. Not in itself.