A/n Hello, again. I have not updated in a little while (or have I?...), so here is the latest chapter of erm... what's the story called? Ah yes, 'No Place Like Home'.

Enjoy :D

Also thank you to my reviewer(s). Keep reviewing or I'll sic the mafia on you. I say this only because I love you.


In my room

I am never coming out. Nevernevernever!

1 minute later

"Gee, you in there?" This from Mrs Johnson.

"Go away," I moped. Never coming out. NevereverEVER!

1 minute later

Although it would be pretty cool to be Georgia Johnson…

Shut UP brain, shutupthinking!

5 minutes later

I am v. tired of sulking. I think I may sneak to the kitchen in search of something to eat.

In the kitchen

Unfortunately, "Something-To-Eat" consists of a piece of bread, as Mutti has so kindly forgotten that, yes, her eldest daughter Gee does indeed need food to survive.

Then came the evil thought, 'you're not her REAL daughter."

I feel a bit blubby now. I think I may call Jas now to see if my depressednosity can reach a world record.

Talking to Jas

"Well, if they seem so fantastic, why don't you go with them? It would take your mind off Robbie and Masimo and Dave – err… no, not that last one, but-"

I cut in quickly, "well, if they're so fantastic, why don't YOU go with them?" Best to keep my silent decision to myself…

"They're not my parents," she said stupidly, and if she had been in the room, I would've given her a severe duffing up.

"That's not my point, o-Jas-of-the-bewildered-knickers. I don't WANT to go with them. I don't even know these people, and they try to TAKE me? Now? WHY?"

"This is all nice," Jas said huffily, "but I have better things to do."

"Oh dear," I said, in a fake therapist voice, "you're going to blow off friendship for slug hunting with Tom? Not looking too good for your mental health-"

And she slammed the phone down.

1 minute later

She, not me.

Jas of the selfish knick-nacks.

3 thoughtful minutes later

Some friends I have.

Lesbian Adoption Monastery Headquarters (phwoar – what a tongue-twister!)

"Gee, open up."

"Mrs Johnson, you seem nice, but I would appreciate it highly if you would LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I have ice cream…"

Pause

"Really?"

In the lounge room (Mr and Mrs Johnson's)

"You see, Gee, I couldn't keep you, what, with my father breathing down my neck. So I sent you to my closest friend."

Huh? "But I know all of Mut- Connie's closest friends."

"Yes, but that was at the time. And she raised you to be so ladylike," Mrs- Biological Mutti said, just as I was literally licking the bowl clean. That encouraged me to stop.

"Well, biological Mutti, I would very much like to stay, but with a bit of luck my real Mutti is cooking tea. Ciao-"

Now Mrs Johnson was all blubby. "Gee, it would break my heart if you left…"

Oh great. This lady was just as klingon clingy as Libbs… who I will most likely never see again. Sigh.

"Perhaps you would like to see your new bedroom? Connie's already put your suitcases in there." Smileysmileysmiley. Damn my biological Mutti. How dare she be happy when I feel like I just landed in a puddle of liquefied dog doodey!

1 minute later

Was it just me, or as I was leaving, did I hear Mrs- Mutti say, "yes!"?

In my new Lesbian Adoption Monastery Headquarters Thingummy

Rearranging personal items so the room doesn't look so drab. Well maybe my new Mutti will give me a pocket money consisting of more than a couple of squids?

1 minute later

Oh God, Buddha, our Lord Sandra… horrible thought. What if my new Mutti takes me shopping? With her actually being there? IU think I may need a lie-down on my… brand new king-sized bed? How did I miss this?

3 minutes later

Okay, done lying down. If I think for too long, I may come across the point that I am the suckiest Buddhist in the history of sucky Buddhist… people…

5 minutes later

Pawing through clothes when I found Jas's halter top. The one she had been looking for. Oh well. It was clearly designed for someone who actually HAS nungas.

1 minute later

Feeling guilty… what if Jas reads my diary?

Then, Oh, she can't, as she will never be allowed in this roomy. I will take her into the guest roomy, which is unfortunately girly, just like hers.

1 smiley minute later

But on the bright side… maybe she'll think she's been a good influence and stop trying so hard?


A/N Being a New Zealander, I am a needy creature, and thus I need you to reeeeeead and REVIEW! It would make my daaaaaaaaay!