"Artemis?"

He looked up at his mother at the dinner table expectantly.

"I've decided to move you to a different private school. BUT, before you jump down my throat, let me tell you that this academy has one of the best educations to offer for young adults in Ireland. I'm sure you will make lots of friends, and grow to love it there, unlike the school you are attending now." Mrs. Fowl told him.

Inside, Artemis was furious, but he calmly asked, "May I enquire as to which school I will be attending?"

"Ireland's Academy for Young Adults."

When dinner was done, Artemis went right up to his room to research this school. The first thing he noticed was that this school was for boys and girls. Artemis should've been expecting this though. The number of times his mother tried to introduce him to the stuck up stupid girls at different balls, he simply turned away. "You're fifteen years old Artemis! You should WANT to meet girls!" His mother would say to him.

Girls were definitely below him, unlike other bumbling teenagers his age. He didn't need a girl to exchange saliva with. In fact, the idea didn't really appeal to him at all. His hormones were perfectly fine without some girl in a bikini to mess him up. With that final thought, he turned off the light and went to bed.

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Artemis woke up with his mom shrieking that it was time to get ready for the plane to take him to his new school. For the first time in his life, he wanted to bury his head in his pillow and go back to sleep.

Grudgingly, he finally got up, and changed into his Armani suit. Just as he was reaching for his hair gel, his mother came into his room and snatched it from his hands. She then proceeded to throw it out of his window. He looked at her flabbergasted, but then composed himself, remembering that it wouldn't do to look like a moron.

"Artemis, you do NOT need hair gel. You are a fifteen year old boy! You shouldn't care what your hair looks like!"

"Mother!" he said angrily. "I agreed to go to the damned school of yours, and I can't even look the way a proper person should look!"

"Language Artemis!"

Merlin! Artemis thought to himself. I, Artemis Fowl just cursed. In front of my MOTHER. What has gotten into me?

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Ireland's Academy for Young Adults turned out to have a gorgeous campus. Artemis stepped out of the limo to notice something he wasn't expecting at all. There were no uniforms required. This didn't faze him at all, he had his suits and such, but he would have to put up with boys looking like morons and girls trying too hard with their skimpy outfits and make up. And with the looks of things, there was no dress code either, as a group of girls walked by with tank tops and belly shirts. His eyes snapped immediately back to his mother, looking at her like she was insane. She smiled to herself.

Enraged at his mother for choosing such a horrible school, he followed her and Butler to the main office to get him signed in.

"And this Artemis, is your key to your room. Don't lose it!" The principle said to him kindly.

Artemis merely said to him with a cold look, "I will not lose it, unlike the rest of the immature students who go to this academy."

His room wasn't nearly as big as the one at home, nor was his bed. It did, though, have an adequate amount of computers and other items needed for research. Butler, who was standing next to him, began to speak.

"Artemis, your mother and I have to leave soon, so say your goodbyes."

He looked up at Butler with a look of agitation on his face. "You're not staying with me? Who will I talk to in this god forsaken place?"

Butler looked amused. "Your roommate perhaps?"

"I have a roommate? You have got to be kidding me!"

"No, I'm not. That's what the other bed is for."

"I should…unpack my suits before they get wrinkled I suppose…" he said with a somewhat dejected tone in his voice.

Artemis unzipped his custom made suitcase, and with a horrified look on his face, took one step back. "What are THOSE supposed to be?"

"Your clothes," Butler responded. "Your mother decided you don't dress like a teenager, so while you were asleep, she switched your suits with those clothes. And she'll fire me if I switch them back, so don't bother asking."

Having nothing else to do, he angrily unpacked his T-shirts, and polos from American Eagle and Abercrombie, two brands he swore he would never wear. Khaki pants, JEANS, Adidas sneakers, boxers. He couldn't believe the nerve of her mother when he pulled out a baseball hat. The day he wore that…he would have lost his mind.

He stayed cooped up in his room until bedtime, when he changed, turned off the light and tried to fall asleep. He heard his roommate sneak in around midnight, which definitely wasn't allowed, and finally fell asleep, pissed off about this entire situation. He dreamed about different ways he could possibly get out of this school.

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this is the first chapter...artemis will meet the girl next chapter, have no fear. review!