Clarke and Niylah
Chapter Two
THREE WEEKS LATER:
Niylah was kneeling next to the deer hide she had staked to the ground, scrapping off all the left-over membrane, muscle, and fat, enjoying the repetitive motions of her blade. She had prepared so many hides in her life, that she could allow her mind to wander while completing her task. Today she was remembering a moment she spent with Madi on board the Eligius IV, before Madi had left the ship for Sanctum. They were sharing a meal of algae, something Niylah hoped to never have to eat again, when Madi reached across the table. "Here, I want you to have this back," she said, opening her hand to reveal the black panther Niylah had carved as a remembrance of the night she and Clarke had spent together. That day, when Clarke came into her trading post, pulling the dead cat behind her, was the day Niylah's heart opened to the possibility of more…more than one night here and there. Oh, she had been under no delusions that Clarke could be her more. She'd heard the rumors that the Commander treated Clarke differently than anyone else. The betrayal at Mt Weather aside, that she treated Clarke as special. And, she could tell that Clarke had not been totally present with her that first time, but still…for her, it was an awakening. She made sure not to ever share that with Clarke, and in fact, told Clarke she wasn't asking for more than a moment, but Clarke was the catalyst for the belief in possibilities.
Niylah smiled at Madi. "I thought this lost to me," she whispered.
"I found it in our tent. Clarke must have dropped it, but I remember her telling me about hunting the cat, and about her friendship with you, and how you protected her from the Ice Nation when she was in hiding." Niylah reached out and gingerly took the carving from Madi. "Thank you, Heda," she said softly as memories of that night came flooding back. Madi smiled at her. "I'm being told to tell you to have patience. She doesn't see it yet, but she will." Niylah looked at her in confusion. "Being told? See what?" Madi just smiled at her and left the table.
Niylah unconsciously smiled at the memory, after all this time she was still confused by Madi's statement.
"I have to say, I didn't think scaping a deer hide would be cause for smiling." Niylah was startled out of her memory by the alto tone of Clarke's voice. "Oh…um, I was just thinking about…uh…Miller and the spider." Niylah smiled up at Clarke, hoping she believed her.
Clarke looked into Niylah's eyes, and knew she was holding something back, but not wanting to put her on the spot if she didn't want to share what she was really smiling about. Instead, Clarke smiled back. "Yeah, that was funny."
At that moment, Raven yelled for Clarke on the other side of the camp. "Hey Captain Clarke, beam yourself over here, would ya?!" Looking back down, Clarke smiled at Niylah, "see you later?" For her part, Niylah knew those three words were used by the Skaikru to end a conversation but couldn't help wish Clarke really did want to see her later. "Sure," she responded before continuing with her scraping.
LATER THAT NIGHT:
It was late, and the D7 (short for Double Seven), which is what they had started calling themselves after Raven (of course) used it one day to encompass the whole group, were all sound asleep around the different campfires after a particularly hard day of physical work. It started with some whimpers, then came the thrashing. Some members of the group were woken by the noise, saddened that they could do nothing to help their friend conquer her demons. There was a moment of stillness, then Clarke screamed, "Niylah!" at the top of her lungs, causing everyone to wake with a start. Niylah instantly jumped to her feet and ran across the camp to where Clarke was still thrashing around. Kneeling beside the woman she cared so much for, she reached out and laid her hand on Clarke's shoulder. "Clarke," she said softly. "It's okay…you are safe." "Niylah?" Clarke whispered in confusion as she reached out for the other woman, grabbing onto her shirt, and pulling her down in desperation. "Please," she whimpered. "I'm here," Niylah said as she lowered herself alongside of Clarke, covering both of them in furs, then gently taking her in her arms. "I'm right here." Clarke burrowed her face into Niylah's chest, and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, mumbling, "thank you."
Niylah, continued to cradle Clarke in her arms, while softly stroking her hair, helping the blonde drift off into a deep and blissfully dreamless sleep.
THE NEXT MORNING:
In her semi-conscious state, Clarke felt warmth radiating from her body…and as she slowly became more conscious, she realized that some of that warmth was coming from a body that she was completely wrapped around. Confused, she opened her eyes, only to have a blurry vision of what she believed to be a woman's cleavage, peaking out of a buckskin shirt. "What the…?" she murmured as she quickly pulled away, only to have Niylah's body come into sharp focus before her. "What the…?" she repeated.
Clarke's abrupt movement woke Niylah, who in turn smiled as she opened her eyes and saw Clarke next to her. "Good morning, did you sleep better?"
"Better?" Clarke asked. She looked around, and seeing that all their friends were still sleeping, she looked back down at the woman lying next to her. "Niylah, what are you doing here?" she asked, clearly having no recollection of the night before, or her frantic call out to Niylah.
"You don't remember," Niylah said with a hint of disappointment. "You were having a nightmare and screamed my name. I came to help calm you."
Embarrassed that her nightmare had put her into such a vulnerable state, and that she didn't even remember calling to Niylah, or that they'd slept entwined in each other's arms, Clarke moved further away, only to feel guilty when she saw the disappointment and hurt in Niylah's eyes. It was the same look she saw that night at the trading post, when Niylah wanted to talk about Mt Weather, and Clarke shut the conversation down by asking Niylah not to talk at all.
It wasn't that she didn't love the feeling of having Niylah next to her, she did, and had been hoping for a moment like this. Well, not just like this. Not because Niylah felt she needed to comfort her to get her through a nightmare. She wanted more than that, but still struggled with all she had done before they ended up here, and what she did or did not deserve because of her actions. And Niylah next to her every night topped the list of what she wanted, but she was also on the list of who she didn't feel she deserved. Not yet at least.
Seeing Clarke's embarrassment, and that she wasn't comfortable with her in her bed, Niylah pushed herself up, and standing over Clarke, she gave her soft smile. "Glad I could help with the nightmare….see you later." Turning, she walked back over to her own furs, grabbed her water bottle, and strode quickly for the woods, desperately wanting to get out of sight of the eyes she could feel boring into her back.
"Shit…diplomatic as always," Clarke muttered as she reached for her furs, already missing the warmth and safety Niylah had so willingly provided.
