BONUS 2 - OMAKE - QnA N°1


"But what are their thoughts about that?!"

Your special show with character interviews!

Presenter: Hello everyone, dear viewers! Today we welcome on our set the characters appearing in the fanfiction "Trapped". Hijikata-san, Okita-san, thank you both for coming to our set to answer our questions.

Hijikata: It's only natural. We couldn't say no, especially if the audience can discover new facets of the Shinsengumi.

Sougo: Zzzzzz.

Presenter: I see we've already lost one of our guests, but that's okay, we'll start with you, Hijikata-san.

Hijikata-san, you are the demonic Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi, and as such, you are feared by many of our guests because of your intelligence.

Hijikata: Well... I guess so. They must be intimidated...

Gintoki, shouting from backstage: That's mostly because your breath stinks, you dirty smoker!

Hijikata: Shut up, you fucking perm-head! You say that because you know that in terms of intelligence, you're not even close to me!

Gintoki: I don't need to be close to you to have a high opinion of myself! And your breath is really bad! Look, even the presenter holds her breath when you talk!

Presenter: ...

Sougo: ZZZZZZ.

Hijikata: ...

Presenter: ... Anyway... Hijikata-san, what do you think about the fact that we hardly see you in this fanfiction?

Hijikata: That's bullshit! The Shinsengumi should have had a lot more screen time than that! Instead, we got about ten chapters about two brats who can't stand each other!

Sougo: zzzzzzZZZZZ

Presenter: It seems you don't like the fact that you only appeared for 2 chapters...

Hijikata: 3 chapters! 3 !

Sougo: zzzzZZZ

Shimaru: (Z).

Presenter: It seems like this is a difficult topic to talk about. It also seems that our set turns into a daycare center at nap time. I apologize for the inconvenience.

Hijikata: Those idiots can't even stay awake.

Presenter: ... I see... It seems there's still tension in the Shinsengumi.

Gintoki, from backstage: So much tension that even the Shogun's underwear being stretched to the limit is a joke compared to that!

Hijikata: Shut up, you perm-head!

Kagura, from backstage: You shut up Mayora! Don't talk to Gin-chan like that or I'll make you eat your cigarettes out of your ass!

Sougo: ... Z...

Shimaru: (Z).

Hijikata: Huh?! Are you threatening me? Do you think I'm afraid of you?!

Presenter: Let's take this opportunity to invite the rest of our guests to our stage. Sakata-san, Kagura-san, Glasses-san, Gorilla-san, and Her-san.

Hijikata: Her-san? Who the hell is that again?

Presenter: Not knowing the name of Kagura's second personality, we decided to call it that. Is that okay with you, Her-san?

Her: ...

Sougo: zzzzzzzz.

Presenter: She's very happy that we found a name for her, however temporary.

Hijikata: Because she was smiling there? She had absolutely no expression!

Kagura: Do you have a problem with that, you jerk? Do you want me to show you how to smile forever?

Hijikata: Oi! I've been threatened since the moment I set foot in the studio! What's the matter with you freaks?!

Gintoki: He really thinks he's sane, doesn't he... It's sad... to be struck with senility at such a young age...

Glasses: shine

Shinpachi: ...

Sougo: zzzzzzz.

Presenter: This brings me to my next question: Sakata-san, in this story we can see your very protective behavior towards Kagura-san. What do you think of the readers who see you as a DadToki?

Gintoki: Me? A dad?

Hijikata: That has absolutely nothing to do with the previous questions.

Glasses: Shine

Shinpachi: ...

Presenter: ...

Gintoki, pointing to Kagura: ...Being the father of that kid? NEVER!

Kagura, crying: GIN-CHAN! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!

Hijikata: Consider yourself lucky, kid. This guy is a real parasite of the society. Having him as a father, even an adoptive one, would do you a disservice!

Kagura: Shut up HijiGramps! I'm trying to have a serious discussion with my adoptive father here!

Hijikata: Your adoptive father just took off after seeing the weather lady walking behind the camera!

Kagura, running out of the set: GIN-CHAN! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

Sougo: ... zzzzz...

Glasses: shine

Shinpachi, getting up to leave: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to miss the replay of Otsuu-chan's anniversary concert.

He leaves the set after Kagura and Gintoki, leaving only his glasses on one of the chairs next to Sougo, Hijikata, Kondo, and Her.

Presenter: It looks like we'll have to postpone our questions about the Yorozuya. Let's continue our interview with Commander Gorilla.

Kondo: I am waiting for your questions! Ask me anything you want! ASK ME!

Presenter: ...

Kondo: Ask. ME.

Kondo finds himself completely ignored as a real gorilla is brought onto the set, dragged on a table with wheels. The presenter walks up to him and hands him a microphone.

Presenter: Do you miss the forest, Gorilla-san?

Gorilla: uho. Uho uho.

Presenter: I see... But what do you think about the inflation of banana prices in recent months?

Kondo: ASK ME!

Gorilla: Uho uho uho.

Presenter: This is indeed quite problematic. Do you also think you represent your position in the best possible way?

Hijikata: What's with the ridiculously focused and researched questions?

Sougo: ...zzzZZZZzzz...zzz.

Kondo: ANYTHING! ASK ME ANYTHING!

Gorilla: uho.

Her : throws a banana to the gorilla

Glasses: shine

Presenter: Thank you for your time. Let's move on to Okita-san. Okita-san?

Sougo: ... zzzz...?

Presenter: Okita-san, it seems in this story that you are opening up a little bit more about your feelings, especially towards Kagura-san.

Sougo: ...zz... zzzzzz...

Presenter: Ah, your answer is "no comment"? I see, you're trying to maintain an aura of mystery around your character.

Hijikata: How did you figure that out ?

Kondo: ASK...ME... ANY...THING...

Glasses: shine

Presenter: We'll now move on to questions from the readers!

Presenter: The next question comes from LadyDragonne: "Is the appearance of Kagura's second personality a reference to her costume in the second movie Gintama: Be Forever Yorozuya?"

We'll let "Her" answer that question!

Her: ... Err; no. I'm just wearing a plain white Qipao dress with my hair loose. I think white is convenient to wash with bleach, especially when there are red stains on it.

Presenter: Red stains?

Her: ...

Hijikata: She'd better keep her mouth shut if she doesn't want to end up in jail.

Presenter: It looks like we won't know any more about that, viewers.

Hijikata: Tch!

Presenter: Let's go to a question from PleaseDon'tTellMyNickname... Quite a peculiar name... Here's their question: "I think Kagura as a kid was really cute! I wanted to hug her! Did Sougo think so too?!"

Sougo: zzzzzz.

Presenter: Ah, I understand. The Captain of the First Shinsengumi Division says that, for reasons of invasion of privacy, he refuses to make any comment regarding this scene. He would also like no questions to be asked about the content of his thoughts. throws a pile of papers on the ground

Hijikata: Because you can understand all this with one snore? And don't throw away the questions of the readers!

Presenter: Let's go to the next question, which comes from LadyDragonne again: "Why are the cherry trees represented with red flowers in Kagura's dream?" Ah, that's an interesting question. Unfortunately, the main person involved has already left the set. Maybe "She" can still enlighten us about this. She?

Her: ...

Presenter: You're the one living in this subconscious all the time, aren't you?

Her: ... Red is the only color I can see... Everything that looks beautiful is covered in blood to me.

Presenter: wah... That's... A little disturbing, I must say...

Her, looking at the presenter and Hijikata with an evil eye: ... I see people... They don't know they are already dead. ( 1)

Hijikata: Is it me or does that sound like a threat?

Sougo: zzzzzz...

Hijikata, murmuring: It really was a threat...

Presenter: Let's move on to a new question from Kabuki_Queen: "I really loved the scene where Kagura gets tossed into the storm, and then Sougo! XD But if I understood correctly, both Kagura and Sougo heard each other's thoughts?!"

Sougo:... zzzz...

Presenter: The main person still doesn't seem to want to answer. The subject is indeed one of the taboo subjects not to be discussed, sorry.

Her: ... If you don't mind my asking...?

Presenter: Yes, Her-san?

Her: ... Only Kagura could hear Sougo's thoughts, not the other way around. A foolish human doesn't have enough willpower to pull off a stunt like that.

Sougo: zz...zzzzZZZZZZZ!

Her: What did you say?!

Presenter: Oh, I see... Your relationship is quite tense...

Hijikata: Put on subtitles at least, damn it! We're barely understanding half the conversation here!

Kondo: ASK ME! ANYTHING!

Presenter: What is he saying? All I hear is "uho"...

Hijikata: BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND A REAL GORILLA, BUT NOT OUR GORILLA?!

Presenter: Forgive me, I'm having trouble with the country slang...

Hijikata: Is it me, or did we just get called country bumpkins here?

Presenter: Let's move on to the next question, which comes from TakaGinLover... Oh, this one is directly addressed to the author! Author-san? Are you here?

Author: ...

Hijikata: The fourth wall is still taking a beating... sigh

Presenter: Here's the question for you: "I love your stories, and it's really great how you manage to capture both Sorachi's humor, and his characters! What's your secret to having such a great imagination?!"

Author: disembodied voice coming from the ceiling Um, it's often been pointed out to me that I have a very "anime" writing style, but also that I stick a lot to the original personality of the characters... As for the humor, I love the silly and totally stupid jokes that Sorachi-sensei can come out with. And for the coherence with the original work, I am an otaku, first of all. So I have a compulsive obsession with the series, and because of that, I notice a lot of details that people don't necessarily see?

Hijikata: I see, you're like Tosshi, but real?

Author: Embarrassed That's a bit that, yes. I'm the kind of person who grabs every bit of information about the series, and collects a lot of stuff, too. I'm pretty obsessed with Japanese animation and its derivatives, like manga or light novels, and since I'm pretty emotional when I write, I always come across as a bit of a freak to other fans. But the good thing about Gintama is that everyone (in the fanbase) is a little crazy, so I don't feel so alone.

Presenter: I see, so you're always looking for information, while analyzing the manga and the anime every time you reread it?

Author: That's right. The other day I even debated for 30 minutes about the architecture of the Yorozuya agency with a friend who is also a fan of the series. With the reference material of the animators, we found out for example that the anime kept only one interior structure, while the manga has at least two, maybe three different room layouts for the Yorozuya's floor.

Presenter: It is indeed quite detailed.

Author: But I really like to find out things like that. It's like a hidden bonus in plain sight?

Hijikata: It does make sense. You can read the same book several times and not necessarily notice some details...

Presenter: Okay, let's move on to the next question! It's still for the author, and comes from Hinatasuma: "I like this story, but I'm more interested in the ending of Echoes Of Destruction. When will the series resume?"

Author: Ah, that... Hahah... Hahahaha... It'll pick up, don't worry. I'd just like to finish revising the last chapters, and translate everything into English, so everyone can follow the story at the same time... I know it's already been 7 years this year since the story was published, with quite a few gaps, but I'm not giving up hope of finishing it before the end of this year. I'd find it rather symbolic, considering the 7-year timeskip that happens in the story itself.

Hijikata: In that case, move your ass.

Kondo: Ask me anything!

Presenter: I see, thank you again for your intervention, Author-san. I'll let you get back to your writing, and to the future translation of this bonus.

Author: My work here is done.

Hijikata: You didn't do anything, you moron! (2)

Presenter: We'll end our show with a question from LadyDragonne: "Hello! I really love seeing the interactions between Hijikata-san and Okita-san! I just have a question about a little detail: Okita-san, you said in chapter 16 that you had to try to kill Hijikata before and after the evening meal, but if you have already planned the second attempt, you already know that the first one is going to fail, right?"

Sougo, waking up: yes, I have already planned another attempt. The key to defeating the enemy is to always plan several moves ahead.

Hijikata: That's mostly because I'm able to dodge everything you've thrown at me so far!

Sougo: Tch! Right. Cockroaches are really fast and tough... Those black bastards...

Hijikata *vein appearing on his forehead*: OI! Who are you calling a cockroach, you bastard!

Yamazaki *arriving with a badminton racket in his hand*: Captain Okita! Do you also have trouble getting them out of your room?

Hijikata: You, I'll make you go into orbit like your shuttlecock!

Sougo *sighs*: As you can see, I'm having a hard time getting them out of my whole life, yes.

Sougo *draws bazooka*: ahlala... We'll have to call in an exterminator, the black vermin are multiplying!

BOOM

Presenter: We'll be back after a short commercial break.


A few minutes later.


Presenter: Dear viewers, we are back to finish this segment of our show. We have to hurry, though, or we'll overshoot the time slot for your brand new drama, "What's Wrong With My Vending Machine?" (3).

Sougo: *Sougo watches the ambulance leave* Well, who would have thought, my first pre-dinner attempt worked. And because of that, all he preparations I did for the next attempt, were for nothing?

Kondo, a big sign in his hand with his name written on it: ASK... ME... ANY... THING!

Sougo: *Sigh* He's good, though, that Hijibaka. Even when he's going my way, he pisses me off. It's almost like art at that level.

Presenter: Okita-san, if I may ask you a question, do you think you'll ever get your way?

Sougo: You mean killing Hijibaka and becoming Vice Commander in stead of the Vice Commander? (4)

Presenter: No, I meant marrying Kagura-san...

Sougo: ...

Presenter: Ah, I'm told in my earpiece that we're suddenly having technical problems that prevent us from continuing this program any further. What a pity!

Sougo: ...

Presenter: I... I hope you all have a good night watching your show!


[END]


Comprehension notes:

(1) "I see people, they don't know they are already dead": reference to the movie The Sixth Sense, where one of the characters says "I see people, they don't know they are dead".

(2) Reference to a meme from Sailor Moon.

(3) "what's wrong with my vending machine": parody of the Korean drama: "what's wrong with secretary Kim?"

(4) quasi-obligatory reference to Iznogood, who wants to be kalif in stead of the kalif.


Author's note: Thanks again to everyone for your support on this story, and sorry for the time it took to get these two bonuses published. Having to articulate a dialogue around questions was a bit tricky, and to be honest, I've been very busy these last few months, especially with the publication of my original light novel stories on Neovel and Webnovel, as well as the translation of the third and last Gintama movie into French... My health wasn't that great too, and things got dragged out in the end. I'm planning to release all remaining English chapters of EOD before the end of the year though!

Thanks again for your support, and see you soon for new stories!