Erm…I have a beginning of a fanfic and I need some feed back for it…umm…I don't know if I need a disclaimer or not but…I'm gonna put it in anyway… I don't own Kingdom Hearts! Anyway this fanfic was built on KH3 speculations and a past fanfiction I wrote AGES upon AGES ago…so I hope you like it. I don't mean to sound pushy…but I only accept constructive criticism. I'm not \trying to be pushy but seriously, I don't…I'm not trying to be a biznatch… Anyway on to the story…
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"Come here, Ayxi." A young woman emerged from the shadows, and bowed to the armor-clad man before her.
"Yes, master?" She acknowledged with reverence. Her master couldn't help but catch her dark undertone.
"It is time for you to repay your dept, slave." Ayxi winced at her scathing moniker. "Look here." A small portal opened up in front of her. Two boys and a girl sat near a oddly shaped tree. They looked over at the shimmering ocean as the sun set on the horizon. They were smiling and talking. Ayxi found herself hypnotized by the golden paradise those three were so lucky to share. She slowly reached out to it image entranced by it's spellbinding arua, but an electrifying jolt of pain thrust her back into reality.
"What is that place?" She asked breathlessly. Her eyes shined with wonder. She was hungry for a taste of what they had.
"It is a place called Destiny Islands and it will soon be a threshold into darkness…"
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A pair of shining black eyes stared into his. A young girl was laughing. She was jubilantly hysterical with an overwhelming joy. She spun around in a circle in the gleaming sunlight.
"Sora, I feel…joy!" The girl exclaimed. Tears of happiness filled her eyes. "It's wonderful!" More laughs echoed in his mind but they were lost to the sound of Riku's concerned voice.
"Sora? Sora!"
"What?" Sora snapped back to reality. The black eyes of the young girl were replaced by Riku's piercing green eyes.
"Are you okay? You zoned out on us…"
"Huh? Oh sorry…I just…" Sora thought about the girl. "Nevermind…"
"You sure?" Kairi inquired.
"Yeah I'm sure."
"Okay well, c'mon it's getting late…" Kairi said with a smile.
"Yeah let's get going." Riku said. With that, Sora and Kairi hoped off the Paopu Tree. Sora stumbled a little when his feet touched the ground. He felt dizzy for a few seconds but he quickly regained his composure. He shook it off.
"Hey Sora, come on!" Riku prodded. His voice seemed far off.
"Alright!" Sora shouted back but he suddenly choked. He went into a small coughing fit. Am I getting sick? He glanced at his hand and found it to be dripping with blood. He struggled to find his voice. "Riku! Kairi!" He tried to call for them once more but the same dizziness overcame him. The last thing he saw was the sand rushing to meet him.
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The Infirmary was busy as usual. Nurses and doctors rushed about in an organized frenzy. Kairi watched them as she wrung her hands raw with worry. Her mind was reeling with possibilities. She even thought about the worst case scenario. What if Sora was dead or dying? The myriad scenarios made her head spin. Riku placed a hand over hers. He offered her a reassuring smile but Kairi only managed a small half smile in return. To be honest, Riku was just as worried as Kairi maybe even more. He had heard Sora call his name with such urgency he almost describe it as fear. He had turned around just in time to see Sora fall to the ground. He spotted a doctor walking up to them. He had on a "poker face" as Sora would call it.
"Friends of Sora?" He asked. Kairi and Riku stood.
"Yes Sir."
"Well, he seems okay. As far as we can see there is nothing wrong with him." The doctor said calmly.
"But what about the blood and everything?" Kairi blurted.
"Well…there was nothing on the test. No internal bleeding. Nothing. He just won't wake up…"
"What do you mean?" Riku interrogated.
"He simply won't wake up. That it. He's almost comatose…"
"He's in a COMA!" Kairi shrieked. But the Doctor just smiled politely and shook his head.
"No he isn't. Chances are he'll be awake tomorrow if not late tonight." He said with a smile. "You can see him if you want."
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A black clad figure loomed over the sleeping boy. Her black eyes gazed over him. She wanted to touch him but she wasn't sure.
"Sora…" she whispered. She heard a gasp behind her. A silver haired boy stood at the doorway prepared to fight. A girl hid behind him with a scared look on her face. She looked at them.
"Who the hell are you?" Riku interrogated. The girl just blinked cluelessly.
"I'm Iya." She said back. "Who are you?" Her voice was innocent and curious but Riku didn't let his guard down.
"We're his friends."
"Oh…all right…" Iya thought for a minute. "Is your name Riku?"
"Yes…" Iya nodded and started out the room. She looked at Riku and whisper in his ear.
"He talks about you in his sleep."
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Umm…that's it…
