SNIFF I WISH I OWNED HARPER.
A/N: HEY PPLZ THIS IS MY FIRST ANDROMEDA FANFIC, SO GO EASY.
ORIGINAL CREW, AND YES TRANCE IS STILL PURPLE. I'M A SUCKER FOR PURPLE TRANCE; SHE'S CUTER, AND THE TAIL ROCKS!
SUMMARY: DYLAN AND THE ANDROMEDA CREW ARE STRANDED WHEN THEY CRASH LAND ON AN UNINHABITED DESERT PLANET. CAN THEY FIX THE SHIP BEFORE THE HEAT KILLS THEM…
TRANCE/HARPER PAIRINGS IMPLIED. (TRARPER) BCUZ I THINK TRANCE AND HARPER GO GOOD TOGETHER
STRANDED
CHAPTER ONE:
PURPLE GIRLS LOVE TO PLAY PRACTICAL JOKES…
Seamus Harper was bored. He was never bored. There was always something to do on a vast and complicated ship such as Andromeda, but today-nothing.
He just sat in his beloved machine shop, with his legs crossed and perched on the top of a table, taking long sips of his favorite drink Sparky Cola andliterally twiddling his thumbs.
Finally giving up this useless and irritating activity, he slammed down the rest of his beverage, crunched the can and tossed it perfectly into the nearby rubbish outlet.
"Yes! Seamus Zalazne Harper scores again!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and punching the air.
Seamus did a little victory dance and then left the machine shop to its boring misery.
"I wonder what my little sparkly princess is up to today," he thought, suddenly deciding it would be fun to try to play with the ship's medic, Trance Gemini. Purple, cute, interestingly naïve, with an insatiable curiosity, Trance was a mystery.
An enigma.Wrapped up in a riddle with a tail in the middle.
Seamus loved riddles. He also loved the fact that Trance was hard to aggravate, if not impossible, which meant he could babble on about anyone and anything to Trance, for hours on end, and she'd listen and smile and laugh.
Trance was his best friend.
He found the medic, quietly cooing to all the strange plants that she had picked up over the past few months, in the hydroponics bay. The room had a lovely view, if you call stars, stars and more stars, 24/7, 365 days a year, lovely.
To Seamus, they were just stars, the same, day in and day out. It was good when there was a plasma storm about, it meant change, but other than that, he spent most of his time and efforts tinkering with Rommie, or listening to heavy rock music in one of the machine shops, while he invented a way to make Andromeda faster; smarter; stronger.
"Hi Harper!" Trance practically squeaked, her tail flinging about happily.
Wonder what it would be like to… Seamus immediately squeezed the thought from his mind.
How could he think something like that?
"Hi Trance! How's my purple princess today?" he asked, giving her a quick hug.
She giggled. She loved this human custom; it left her feeling warm and fuzzy, especially if Seamus gave the hugs.
"I'm good, I'm just talking to my flowers. You haven't met Cubie yet, have you?"
Harper shook his head and gave her one of his trademark grins; the cheeky smile that lit up his sky blue eyes.
Trance giggled again, and snatched his hand, dragging him to the centre of the room where a large purple and yellow vine plant sat.
"Whoa," was all that Seamus could say.
"Seamus, meet Cubie, Cubie this is Seamus."
Much to the engineer's surprise, the plant wrapped a vine around his hand and shook it, much as a human would greet another.
"Holy crap," he muttered, as the plant uncoiled its 'limb' and tucked it away.
"Cool hey?" Trance said, and Seamus silently agreed.
"I'm bored," Seamus finally said, feeling like a whining child.
Trance thought for a moment, then her dark brown eyes lit up, sparkling mischievously.
"I know something fun we can do," she said softly, making sure Rommie's holographic form was nowhere about.
She stood on her tiptoes and whispered something in Seamus's ear. As she spoke, a gigantic grin spread across the engineer's face, and then he looked upon her.
"I can't believe I didn't think of it before!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "But I had no idea you were into that sorta stuff!"
"Oh you didn't know?" she began with a wink, before continuing. "Purple girls love to play practical jokes,"
OoOoOoOoO
VICTIM NUMBER ONE:
REV BEM:
Seamus crept through the ship's interior, along side Trance, hoping to get the attention of Andromeda.
Harper was going to ask the avatar to help. He knew she probably would seeing as he programmed practical jokes into her system, without the knowledge of the captain, and he hadn't taken advantage of it until now.
As if his prayers had been answered, the robot stepped out in front of the two and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot.
"What are you two up too?" she demanded. "I've been monitoring you for the last thirty minutes and you've been acting very strangely,"
Seamus and Trance looked at Rommie and grinned.
"What,"
"Rommie, we need a favor." Seamus said. He told her of her idea and she shook her head.
"Oh no, not me. Just because you're bored. Not going to happen,"
"Aww c'mon Rom-doll, please? For Trance and me. Pretty please?" Seamus begged.
She caved. The urge to play tricks on her crew was overwhelming.
She had no doubt that Seamus had something to with it, so she went along, sending messages to herself to play false images on the view screens.
"So who's up first?" Seamus asked.
The three stood in silence for a minute and then decided that the first victim, would be their resident Magog, Reverend Behemian, a once vicious killing machine turned to living a life of peace and light. He would be hardest.
They put their brains to work and came up with a simple idea.
Trance would go to rev, crying, (she had amazing acting talents,) telling him that there was a ghost in hydroponics, and she was terrified. He would tell her over and over that there was no such thing and go in to prove it, that's when he would get the scare of a lifetime. Harper fiddled with Rommie's holographic form so it looked exactly like the abyss, a shadow, the one that the Magog feared, but followed.
Every thing was set.
Harper and Rommie crouched in wait, out of sight in amongst all the strange plants, while Trance worked her magic.
She ran into Rev Bem's room, where he sat in meditation, with tears running down her face, putting on the most frightened face she could muster. She clutched her purple tail in her hands and sobbed.
"Trance, what is the matter?" Rev Bem asked, opening a beady eye.
"T-t-there's a g-ghost in Hydroponics, it so scary," she stammered through amazingly conjured, false tears. This was going to be fun.
"Don't be silly Trance, there's no such things as ghosts," he said softly as he stood up to comfort his friend.
Trance pouted. "I can prove it! I'll make you believe me, you'll see!" she said, still crying. She grabbed him by the hand and dragged him three decks to where Seamus and Rommie where waiting.
The signal came and the image appeared, bending and twisting as if doing a complicated dance. It gave a believable screech and walked forward. The magog hissed and stood in front of Trance. Then the hologram tripped, and Trance fell onto the floor in a fit of giggles.
"What's going on?" he asked, confused. Seamus walked out of the shadows, clutching he side in silent laughter and waving a small disc in the air. He had filmed it.
"I should have known," Rev Bem growled and slunk out of the room.
"The look on your face was priceless Rev!" Seamus called after him.
Trance was still on the floor giggling uncontrollably.
"One down," Rommie began. "And three to go,"
OoOoOoOoO
The next three jokes were played well, and the three delinquents had massive amounts of fun.
Seamus always had fun with Trance. Always.
Tyr Anasazi was another difficult victim, as Neitzscheans generally were. They were vicious and impossible to scare.
So they had to go a different direction.
Tyr was in human words, a fitness buff. He was strong, and liked to work out a lot, so naturally, Tyr was in the gym when they asked Rommie of his location. They set up the view screen in one of the empty machine shops and played around with the artificial gravity. It was an amusing spectacle, but after a while, they decided to cut him a break and move on to victim four and five: Beka Valentine and Dylan Hunt
She was the captain of the Eureka Maru, and Seamus saw her as an older sister. She cared alt for her crew and her ship, so they centralized the joke on her two loves. Dylan was the same. Two birds with one stone. Trance and Harper strapped themselves in the old freighter and flew out of the hanger bay doors. They didn't get very far before the screen before them split in two, revealing the faces of Captain Dylan Hunt and Captain Beka Valentine.
"Where the hell do you think you too are going with my ship?" Beka screeched.
Seamus didn't answer.
As planned, Rommie appeared and suggested that they open fire, a warning shot, to get their attention. Dylan nodded an affirmative. Beka wasn't so agreeable.
"You are not open firing on my ship!" She protested, but the fire was shot. As the shot hit the Maru, Seamus and Trance dropped a mine, and fired upon it, causing a massive explosion, which masked their slipstream portal. Before they entered the portal they dropped all the cargo and disappeared, giving the illusion that the Maru had been destroyed.
The command deck was silent, everyone was to shocked to talk, that was until the Maru reappeared and entered the hanger bay. The captain and Beka ran to the hanger bay, to see that Trance and Seamus where laughing hysterically.
"Geez you are all so gullible!"
Dylan and Beka looked at each other. There was only one thing to do.
Revenge…
There u have chapter one people! Review please and I hope you liked it!
ps: the whole story isn't just happy practical jokes. just wanted to tell u.
