Vol. 5
Ch.9
When A Heart is On Lockdown Can It Still Be Freed
With a growl, Odasaku hung up on Ango, not wanting to waste a second more. "We'll get him back," Dazai said, reassuring Odasaku though he felt the words were an empty promise. If that kid had crossed a line, Dazai knew that there was no coming back from that.
"Let's go," Odasaku said, without missing a beat.
Dazai always found Odasaku's more stubborn nature to be almost endearing. Dazai smiled. He'd get that boy back for Odasaku, consequences be damned.
Dazai found himself spinning, it felt like. He found himself falling to the floor and felt arms catching him. Odasaku's muffled voice was yelling something, but what? Dazai felt like weights were being pressed on his lungs and chest. The memories of the next few months continued to flood into him—-most a blur like drowning in a fast rushing river.
"Dazai," Odasaku yelled, and Dazai grit his teeth. They were inside what appeared to be a large abandoned school building of some sort. This looked to be a gym. Dazai looked at the large scoreboard screen behind Kōsuke.
Kōsuke definitely had changed. He wore a simple black outfit with a dark purple coat, and military boots. His hair had grown a little, but what really made him feel more alarming was the half mask he wore over his left eye.
Dazai's eyes flashed, as he dodged what appeared to be a blast of ice headed right for himself! Rolling to the left, it was clear that Kōsuke was intending to attack him, specifically. Dazai's eyes narrowed. If he could touch the brat he'd be able to knock him out and end this headache! It had been hard enough finding the kid, but now they had to deal with his pre-teen angst too? Jeez, Dazai honestly wondered if he'd been this bad when he was 9. Eh, he had gone on to join the Mafia at 14 and kill a bunch of people so maybe he wasn't one to talk.
"I told you…." Kōsuke said, voice shaking with anger. "If you don't leave, I'll have to kill you!"
Odasaku grit his teeth, not willing to point the guns he'd brought with himself at his own kid. "Kōsuke, we can still talk!" He yelled. "Please!"
"Shut up," Kōsuke loudly snarled, eyes ablaze with an odd silver glow. "Shut up! Shut up!" He made a fist and Odasaku barely dodged the icicle barrage that came next.
"Shit!" Dazai cursed, gritting his teeth. He and Odasaku had decided to take care of Kōsuke alone, since they didn't want Ango-goody-two-shoes to be tipped off by them personally. They couldn't speak for if he had found out through the ADA or the girl, Alu though.
Still, as Dazai's mind raced to figure out how he could get to that boy, he saw movement from the corner of his eye.
Odasaku just sprinted towards Kōsuke, and Dazai found himself yelling in horror, "Odasaku! Don't!"
Kōsuke's eyes flashed and without warning, he found himself tackled by Odasaku, directly. They tumbled as Kōsuke let out a noise of utter surprise and bewilderment. Odasaku just kept hugging him. "Get off!" Kōsuke yelled, and for just a brief moment, he hesitated in attacking Odasaku.
Dazai took that moment to sprint like a gazelle towards them. If Odasaku could render the kid immobile, even if just for a moment— but suddenly Odasaku was flung back, his chest covered in ice. He fell backwards with a cry, and Dazai changed direction—immediately. He quickly knelt near Odasaku, who groaned, and Dazai's eyes widened. Odasaku's entire left shoulder and arm were turning slowly iced, from the inside out, like he was turning into an ice sculpture.
"Ugh," Odasaku grunted in pain, but he still, regardless of his injuries, attempted to get up again. Dazai tried to put a hand on his arm to get him to stay put but Odasaku stubbornly resisted. "Don't…" he rasped.
Dazai felt his heart sink. Odasaku was pointlessly running towards this kid like somehow this was the best solution. Dazai quieted. In a dry sense, he wondered if a hero figure—perhaps Alu— would show up to miraculously solve the predicament they were in with the power of her anime logic but at the same time, this was reality.
Reality involved hard choices.
Dazai squared his jaw. He didn't want to become an enemy in Odasaku's eye. But at this point, what choice did they have? What choice did he have? That boy, Kōsuke, was going to kill Odasaku.
"Dazai?" Odasaku yelped suddenly, feeling the wind knocked out of him as Dazai pinned him down, silent. "Hey—"
"It's okay, if you hate me," Dazai said, monotonously.
Odasaku wanted to ask what the hell Dazai was talking about when he felt himself pass out from Dazai's swift blow to his neck. Odasaku slumped like a rag doll, and Dazai just carefully laid his friend's head down on the floor. He got to his feet, and turned to face the boy who up to this point, was just observing.
"Grab him and go," Kōsuke snapped, bossily.
Dazai was peeved.
Did this brat truly not understand the extent that Odasaku had worried about him? Dazai really couldn't understand Odasaku's attachment to others. It was a pain in the ass as far as Dazai was concerned. Dazai grit his teeth, angry that this boy was walking all over Odasaku's genuine concern for his well-being.
Dazai's gaze was cold and hard, it honestly felt like he was slipping back into his old Mafia ways. It hadn't been that long since he'd left and frankly, he found more comfort in being cold and calculating rather than -heart on the sleeve- like Odasaku clearly was. He smiled, coldly at the boy. Whatever 'parental' bug Odasaku had for this boy, Dazai didn't share. If this boy was going to be like a weed, strangling Odasaku's chance at happiness, then Dazai would eliminate this boy, himself.
He pulled on one of Odasaku's guns, casually, straightening up. Kōsuke gazed at him. His eyes narrowed. "Odasaku won't like it if you hurt me," he said, with a small taunting tone.
Dazai wondered if this kid was intentionally trying to get him to shoot him. His eyes narrowed at the boy. Honestly, this was a tactic he'd probably use himself but to only throw his enemy off guard of what he was really plotting. It was clear this boy was trying to act tough but he lacked Ryou's spine. This boy was clearly terrified of Dazai.
Dazai stared at him, a small sneer of his own, curling on his pale lips. He was going to enjoy making this boy, regret ever messing with him. He raised the gun and then pointed it at the boy.
If he shot the boy, then the problem would be solved, simple as that.
Bang.
The sound of gunfire erupted from the loaded gun, and Kōsuke's eyes flashed, as he used ice to shield himself and dodge out of the way. "You missed," he said, glaring at Dazai.
Dazai recalled something he and Alu had discussed a while ago. The timeline felt blurry still, the influx of all these months having gone by so quickly making Dazai's head spin. But, he remembered they had been by the beach. It was late afternoon, the sun was going down, and they were alone as the ocean breathed near them.
"If that boy can't be saved, do you have the resolve to do what it takes?" Dazai found himself asking her, casually like someone asking about the weather or if fruitcake was considered a real dessert or an abomination imitating one.
"There's always a way," She stated, gazing at him, her hands in her pockets.
Dazai sighed. "That may work in some cases but you've seen what he's capable of," he said, serious, gazing at her, right back.
They both had a point they were trying to prove to the other. Dazai just unfortunately knew that he had more people in his corner that agreed with him than with Alu at this time. Alu just smiled. Dazai felt a little unsettled. The way she smiled didn't look like someone who was confident they could be proven right. It was the smile of someone who was going to believe in their own resolve even if it was wrong in the end. "I know," she stated. "But I believe everyone has choices that they can choose to make."
"Choices are a luxury not available to everyone," Dazai countered. "It's clear he's been manipulated if he's refusing to come back and be reasoned with."
"That's what I'm saying," Alu said with a huff. "His choices are being decided for him, but only to a certain extent…" she gazed at the crashing waves on the shoreline. "In the end, the choices you make, are still yours in the end…"
"Unless of course, you're being manipulated," Dazai mused out loud. "I mean, there are ability users that can puppet others," he pointed out.
Alu frowned, gazing at him. "What? You think he's being puppeteered?"
"I didn't say he was," Dazai shrugged, "but I know of an ability user-a dangerous one… who has been known to make people do his dirty work for him… and while his whereabouts are unknown, that's not my actual point. I'm asking you, what would you do if this boy wasn't being puppetted? If he was choosing to actively make these choices on his own? If he didn't have an excuse, Alu, could you still vouch for his character?"
Alu was quiet. "We are a sum of the choices we make in this life," she said finally. "I can't say for certain what I would be able to do but I won't stop believing in the boy's ability to make his own choice, himself." She glared at Dazai, her fist clenched by her side.
Thinking back on that moment again, in this current moment, Dazai had no idea where her childish optimism came from. She had stated there's always a choice, while Dazai countered that choices were a luxury that weren't always available to all. But, despite that, Dazai couldn't deny that the girl had sparked something in himself from that debate. It was a bit like Kunikida with his hilarious book of outrageous ideals—-but silly and unrealistic as they felt to Dazai….
That girl had an odd way of making him want to believe in those ideals of Kunikida and herself, just a little.
Dazai smiled a Cheshire Cat grin, "Did I?"
Suddenly, the groaning and creaking of wires snapping above them made Kōsuke look up with alarm. The giant scoreboard was tumbling right towards Kōsuke!
Silver hair whipped in front of Dazai, Kōsuke made a noise of alarm as he tried to use his ice to encase himself from an oncoming blow, but in the end, the ice shattered and he was met face to face with rose-gold tinted eyes. She caught him in her arms, and pulled the boy to safety, as the scoreboard smashed to the ground.
"That's enough from you both!" Alu's ethereal voice filled the whole room. Dazai pursed his lips. And yet, he felt oddly relieved. He wouldn't have to bend to reality's harsh will because of her. Dazai was starting to sense a pattern. He was a critic, a cynic on life, but somehow this person always seemed to make it in time. It left a funny feeling in himself but he knew without a doubt, to leave things to her now.
Handing over the reins of the situation, he merely returned to Odasaku's side. He was surprised to see Odasaku was encased in thin silver light. He looked up towards the girl. But there was no doubt in his mind that she had been the one to heal his friend.
Kōsuke found himself at a loss for words in the presence of Alu in this particular form. She had silver fox ears with red tips, piercing eyes, and an aura that made Kōsuke actually shiver. It wasn't cold, but it was disapproving—which felt worse.
Kōsuke grit his teeth and he tried to blast Alu with an icy wind but before he could, she spoke right through his clouded thoughts. "Kōsuke, I know this isn't you," she let him go, stepping back. "Whatever you're doing, I won't stop you."
Kōsuke and Dazai comically shared confused expressions. Glowing fox girl say what now?
"Won't…stop me?" Kōsuke's voice shook, with disbelief. "I only agreed to meet Odasaku in order to tell him to stay away!"
"Are you doing that because you are happy with where you are?" Alu's question cut through Kōsuke's negative language like the sharp edge of a sword. "Or are you picking this fight, because you're afraid of what you are capable of becoming?"
Kōsuke snarled like a cornered animal, tears in his eyes. "You don't get it!" He made a motion with his arm, and it became encased in ice, like a glove. "The world isn't fair!" He swung a punch at Alu, and Alu dodged, as the ice smashed a small crater dent into the gym's floor where she'd been standing.
Dazai twitched, wondering if he should get involved, but as he gazed at the girl's figure, he noted her posture. More than that, he noted something else about her. She was smiling. It wasn't empty, it wasn't cold.
It wasn't pity.
How come she was smiling at a time like this? Dazai felt Odasaku groan and stir.
He was already waking up? This was so soon. That girl's power was truly something else. If there was a Celestial God-tier for ability users, Dazai knew she was already there.
"If you don't leave, I will kill you!" Kōsuke yelled, and he summoned shards of ice that made the room drop in temperature. Dazai shivered only slightly. He didn't get cold easily, but it was clear that the more this brat used his ice, the more the temperature was going to drop.
"No, I don't think you will," Alu said, countering Kōsuke's threat.
Kōsuke trembled.
Alu slowly walked towards him, still talking. Her voice was clear. It was direct. Dazai couldn't help but find that when this girl had something to say, it was like the world actually stopped for a second, to listen. "You're a good kid," she said, never taking her eyes off of Kōsuke. "These past few months, I can't even begin to imagine what you've been going through. But I have a hunch. I think, rather than you being told what you should be doing, why don't you tell me what it is that you,yourself, want to do."
Kōsuke looked panicked. "Stay away from me," he screamed and he unleashed a sudden storm of ice and snow that made even Dazai worry for a split second about catching pneumonia. If he was going to die, Dazai almost wanted to pout about not being able to be the one to decide how it would happen.
The shards shattered, not even touching her. Glistening like refracted sprinklings of actual light, Alu continued to walk towards Kōsuke, not even flinching.
Kōsuke snarled. "I can't be like you!"
Dazai's eyes flickered. Oh, the heart of the matter was finally being reached, it would seem. About time.
Odasaku stirred, and opened his eyes, gazing at Dazai. Dazai glanced at him, expression still hard and unreadable. Odasaku's eyes flashed, and he sat up quickly, his focus engaging with what was currently transpiring in front of them with Alu and Kōsuke.
Kōsuke's eyes filled with tears. "I can't go back anymore! There's nothing waiting for me there!" He yelled, and swung his fist towards her, unleashing a barrage of spiked ice. Alu dodged it like a cat, landing in front of Kōsuke.
Kōsuke shook, terrified, not because he was losing, but because he didn't want to hurt the people he cared about anymore.
Warm arms hugged him. He flinched. He had been hugged as well by Odasaku and had attacked him. This girl would face an outcome no different. Dazai and Odasaku's eyes widened with horror as ice began to extrude from Alu, through her chest.
Alu trembled, and coughed blood, still hugging Kōsuke tightly. "Get off!" Kōsuke's voice rasped, a silent shriek sawing at his vocal cords. "Get off! Get off!"
The tears were rolling down his cheeks, but Alu still held tightly to him. "Damn, that smarts," she said with a weak smile at Kōsuke, pulling back, blood dripping from her ruined clothes.
Kōsuke stumbled backwards, horrified at the actual extent he'd gone to try to make her understand that leaving him alone was the only option. "W-Why…why didn't you dodge," he shook.
"Ngh," Alu hugged herself, doubling over, but she gave Kōsuke a weak thumbs up, even as her silver light began to heal her. "You're the one dodging," she cheekily replied.
Dazai pursed his lips. What a time for a word-of-wits war.
Odasaku however dashed over to Alu's side, faster than even Dazai anticipated. "Alu!" Odasaku's voice was warped with clear concern.
Alu breathed hard, but she gazed at Kōsuke, even as her vision was starting to go black. "You…" she said, and Kōsuke just stood back, apprehensive. Alu spoke louder, as Odasaku tentatively almost held her by her shoulders to keep her upright—not sure what else to do. "We'll all…be waiting….for you…" she said, gazing at Kōsuke even as her body was healing, it didn't mean she was physically alright. Odasaku was relieved the wounds were healed, but it was clear that it took a lot of energy.
If Kōsuke had gone all out on her—then that only meant one thing to Odasaku. Despite everything, that boy had held back when it was him. His heart twisted in pain for Kōsuke. How could he make it clear that he just wanted Kōsuke to come home?
Dazai glanced towards his friend, and even without Odasaku saying any of this, Dazai could read him like an open book. His friend's body language clearly stated that he wished that Kōsuke understood that he was still cared about. Alu breathed with stubborn indignant eyes, and pushed herself weakly to a sitting up position in Odasaku's arms. Dazai steadied himself for a lunge.
Kōsuke was quiet but finally, he took a step back. "Just get out of here!" He yelled. Unhinged and distracted, Dazai knew he wouldn't get another small window of opportunity like this-and Dazai tackled him with no warning.
Odasaku's eyes widened with alarm. "Dazai!?"
Dazai grit his teeth, and pinned the exasperated boy underneath himself on his stomach. Kōsuke struggled but his ability no longer could activate because Dazai had his entire body exuding blue light, forcing Kōsuke's ability to be rendered completely useless. Kōsuke let out a sob before going limp underneath Dazai's weight.
Odasaku grit his teeth. Alu was hurt but Kōsuke also needed him. Alu just sat up weakly, holding her arm for support. "Go to him," she said, weakly with an encouraging smile. Odasaku looked torn and pained. But the way Alu was looking at him, he knew that what she was saying was the right course of action.
Dazai was quiet. He'd let Odasaku handle the conversation here. After all, nothing Dazai would contribute would make the situation any better. Quite possibly, it'd make it worse.
Odasaku came over to Kōsuke and Dazai. Dazai was apprehensive about what Kōsuke was capable of doing, but he got off the boy, wordlessly, still holding him by an arm, just to make sure he didn't try to activate his ability.
Kōsuke was quiet.
Though the tears still rolled down his face, he didn't make any audible noise, merely avoiding Odasaku's gaze. Odasaku pursed his lips and he knelt in front of Kōsuke, trying to see eye-level to the boy. "Kōsuke," he said serious, "I know…I can't speak for your experience, but I know from my own…what weight taking another life can mean."
Kōsuke's eyes welled with tears that didn't shed. "Big sis s-said…you didn't have a choice…"
Odasaku and Dazai glanced at each other. They were a tad surprised. Odasaku usually didn't talk about his past. But, then again, that girl had a way of gathering information that was scarily more productive than Ango's own ability.
Alu scratched her head. "Kōsuke and I had a conversation once before… using a spiritual connection I established with him." Alu admitted. "Actually it's how I found him with you lot," she clarified, wincing as she got to her feet. She was fully healed but looked like hell blasted through on a cold blustery day.
"What else did she say," Dazai found himself asking, somewhat bemused for the first time since this whole dramatic filled headache began.
Odasaku could sense the bemused sarcastic edge in Dazai's tone and shot him a look like don't antagonize either of them, but Dazai just remained a blank page of no emotion, as he gazed at the boy whose arm he had remain in a vice-like grip.
"Odasaku didn't want to kill, but he was also an orphan…picked up for his ability and then it was used to force him into a life of crime," Kōsuke sniffled.
Dazai tilted his head. To be honest, he hadn't really cared to ask about Odasaku's past, but then again it was mostly because there was no point in crying over spilt milk. Still, he was intrigued and a bit irritated that this brat of all people knew more about Odasaku than he did at this point. Dazai wanted to pout even though now was not the time.
"Exactly," Odasaku found himself saying, "I felt like I didn't have a choice….but thinking back on it now, I was wrong… I always had a choice…but when it came to survival…to me, that made it my choice. I'm not proud of it,, but… Kōsuke, you have a choice…you reached out and alerted Ango on purpose…didn't you?"
Dazai's eyes widened. He looked at Odasaku, for confused clarification. Kōsuke nodded with a sniffle. "I had to find a way to contact you without it being too obvious…. And four-eyes seemed like the best way…especially since he's so interested in arresting me…"
Ah yes, Dazai thought wryly, Ango's sense of unquestionable justice went as far as to clap innocent and easily manipulated children in irons…very typical.
Odasaku smiled sadly and he pat Kōsuke's head. "I want to be there for you," he found himself saying, honestly, from the bottom of his heart.
Kōsuke sniffled and went to wipe his runny nose on his sleeve. Dazai was on high alert if he tried anything, but it looked like Kōsuke was finally calming down from his homicidal panic attack he was on earlier. "Hey…Odasaku?"
"Yeah?" Odasaku asked, frowning a little with concern.
"I… want ice cream," Kōsuke said, his voice trembling. "I want to eat strawberry ice cream…with everyone again," his quiet demand made Odasaku and Alu smile. Alu clasped her hands together.
"Hey, hey, that sounds like an idea…" she agreed with a small grin at Odasaku.
"Dazai!" Dazai heard Odasaku's worried voice cutting into this memory that he was floating in. He was there, it felt real, but, for some reason, his body couldn't move. Was it done? Was he coming back…which way was the present even facing? Dazai's vision felt blurry and he found himself tumbling with limbs discombobulated against Odasaku's body.
The floor of the hotel room?
Was he lying against Odasaku's chest?
Was this the present?
Or was this the future that had already happened?
Before Dazai could reply, he found himself slipping once more, as memories flooded into him, and his mind was desperately trying to keep up with all the information. Dazai remembered Ango once stating that his mind-information gathering ability did come at the cost of sometimes severe headaches, and Dazai was starting to understand that having a mind-reading ability was definitely not his cup of tea.
Dazai normally didn't cry out with pain, but his head felt hot, his mind felt like a hot poker was crushing it. He clung to his scalp, digging his fingers into his tumbled brown locks, and trembled on the floor, sweating so hard he felt like he'd pass out like he was in a sauna. "Ugh…" he groaned, shaking.
He felt strong arms suddenly lifting him somewhere, but he had no idea what was going on anymore. Were there other voices now? Ah…who cared? Dazai suddenly felt like he needed to sleep. Sleep sounded nice.
As Dazai felt himself slip into his subconsciousness, he felt shoved into yet another scene.
Dammit.
