VOL 6.

Chapter 2

Only Fools Carry The Weight of the World On Their Shoulders

Katsumi never fancied himself a hero. He never compared himself usually to someone bright and full of hyper energy like Kōsuke had. He wasn't as illuminating in personality or even that confident about anything. But, Katsumi still could see Kōsuke defending Alu—no matter the context or reason—without missing a beat. Kōsuke wasn't here though. Someone had to defend Big Sis. Until Kōsuke got back, Katsumi was determined to look out for his family even if it meant stepping into the big shoes Kōsuke left behind.

He'd seen what fighting with the people you care about could do first hand. He had driven Kōsuke away. Even now, he still felt incredibly guilty. Katsumi teared up, trembling.

The other adults—Alu included, stared at him, stunned by his sudden outburst.

Yosano giggled.

Ranpo was speechless.

Fukuzawa had a headache.

Chūya wanted to seriously record this entertaining shit show but he refrained because he had more class than Dazai.

Finally, Ranpo broke into a huge grin, pocketing his glasses. "Hm, I'm not one to use my super special awesome ability lightly," he crossly wagged a finger at the fired up young boy, "But, I was just testing her. I don't need to use my ability on her!"

Chūya snorted. "What a lackluster excuse," he huffed. "Why not use it on her to make sure she really is your friend?" He quipped.

Fukuzawa idly wondered if beating up an 18 year old would make him look bad. Yosano cracked her knuckles, already gearing up to beat him up. The other kids sort of hung back, wide-eyed, surprised by Katsumi's outburst but they also flocked to Alu now, hugging onto her and looking at Ranpo, apprehensively.

Alu felt a little touched by Katsumi sticking up to defend her. "Katsumi, it's alright…"

Katsumi's eyes welled with tears. "It's not nice how he's yelling at you!" he exclaimed, upset. "You've done a lot to keep us safe! You're more than just a friend! You're family!"

Alu hugged the boy who was trembling, tears starting to roll down his cheeks. She pet his hair, as Katsumi sniffled into her shoulder, clinging to her and crying. "I'm going to take the kids to their rooms," she said curtly to the ADA and Chūya.

"Let me help," Yosano offered immediately, moving over to Alu and the orphans. Alu nodded to Yosano, silently grateful. The orphans followed Yosano and Alu like ducklings.

No one opposed, not even Ranpo— and Alu just picked up Katsumi in her arms, humming softly to him. The other kids followed them up the stairs, leaving just the A.D.A and Chūya in the hallway, alone as the sound of Katsumi's upset crying faded.

"You asked why I didn't use my ability?" Ranpo finally said, green eyes glaring at Chūya. He grinned, and from inside his coat he held the detective cap he'd tried giving Alu comically on multiple occasions that always seemed to have it end back up with him. "That's cuz I prefer to give those whom I trust, the benefit of the doubt."

—x—

Drip.

Drip.

It was cold.

A draft passed through, but it was weak on his face as he stirred. Wet. It was wet down here. Down where? The dimly lit room held no artificial light. Natural light came in through a high window in the stone slabbed wall.

He let out a small groan, his head throbbing. It felt sore. He must have hit it when he'd fallen before. After all, it would normally be very difficult to strike someone like Oda Sakunosuke without him already knowing about it. In advance.

He rolled from his side onto his knees, wincing. His entire body felt riddled with aches and pains. His muscles felt like a poker had prodded him everywhere leaving bruises. "Ugh," he clenched his teeth, perturbed to realize he was alone.

Looking around, and trying to get his bearings with the limited lighting, Odasaku's eyes slowly grew accustomed to the darkest spaces. His years as an assassin growing up had long since prepared him to be automatically wired to adapt quickly to any situation, and now was no different. The other detective wasn't anywhere to be seen.

What bothered Odasaku wasn't that they were separated. Actually, Odasaku really disliked working with that detective. What bothered him was that on his way home from work, he'd somehow fallen into a random space hole. Bewildered and a little frustrated, he patted himself down, hoping to find his phone.

There was no such luck.

Apparently he'd been searched. It would make sense. Although, he still had his gun and holster and—click, clack. Yep, his gun was definitely still loaded with bullets not blanks.

Odasaku furrowed his brow, confused.

Why would his mysterious captor take his phone but not his means to defend himself? Unless, they were one of those sick weirdos that liked to give their prey a false sense of security to get them to let down their guards or act too rashly. Unfortunately for this person, Odasaku was highly skilled at staying composed—usually.

"Oh, you're awake?"

Odasaku turned, unflinchingly towards the metal bars separating him in his cell from the only way out.

On the other side of the bars, stood a woman Odasaku didn't recognize. She had red rosebud lips, dark hair tied up in a bun, carried a parasol, and was dressed in a light blue petticoat with a lace underdress, stockings, and boots that had high heels. Pale skinned, but oddly not as delicate as her porcelain doll-like appearance suggested, Odasaku wracked his brain, trying to recall if he'd ever met this woman before. She was very pretty, but also incredibly dangerous and Odasaku was someone who preferred to assess someone's danger level over their looks.

If it had been Dazai, Odasaku had no doubt that he would have tried to hit on her—age difference be damned. Odasaku wasn't one who typically instigated conversation. Actually, he was really shy in nature. Even now, he felt unsure how to proceed. But, he had at least one question he wanted to try to get an answer to. "Why am I here?"

The strange woman tilted her head, twirling her parasol. "Most people ask, 'who are you'," she replied, bemused.

Odasaku stared at her, unblinking. She hummed. Odasaku patiently waited for her to answer his question in some way. Odasaku waited, but his own ability didn't activate. She wasn't here to attack him, that much was made clear. Still, something about her gaze unsettled Odasaku. He furrowed his brow, trying to get a read on her. She had to be an ability user, Odasaku couldn't stop this feeling like she was.

"May I?" She asked, bemused, gesturing to his cell.

"?" Odasaku looked at her, completely blank and puzzled. His cow lick—of which he had three though the front one was the most active— twitched.

"You certainly don't have much experience with a lady's desires, do you?" she asked, bemused, tilting her head at him and smiling, with a small giggle behind a white gloved hand.

Odasaku could just hear Dazai teasing him about that too, honestly. Odasaku felt his face suddenly grow very warm from embarrassment. "I don't know what you want." He was exasperated.

Odasaku had a little experience but well, he'd been drunk on both accounts and he honestly couldn't remember much. Dazai was the one who enjoyed chasing skirts—Odasaku found he wasn't actually into that as much simply because trying to navigate intimacy and his lifestyle just didn't mesh. Plus, if women typically knew what Odasaku did for a living he was hard pressed to find someone that would actually want to be with an ex-assassin that was a mere ghost in a broken system.

The woman leaned on her parasol, it's tip against the stone floor. "May I come inside your cell?" She clarified.

Odasaku thought that was the oddest thing to ask a prisoner. It wasn't like he could do anything about it and besides, he sensed that it'd be easier for him to get the answers he was looking for if he continued to play along with whatever this woman was up to. "I won't stop you," he watched her as he spoke.

She unlocked his door with a key, and stepped through the gated bars, shutting the door again, twirling the parasol still in her hand, but Odasaku noted she left the key in the lock. He eyed that, honestly thinking of his own timing for a possible escape. "What a gentleman," she hummed, bemused. "Tell me, how old are you?"

Odasaku found the small talk honestly perplexing. She clearly wanted something from him. He didn't feel like getting personal with her, but he didn't want to be completely rude either. "I'm twenty-three," he admitted.

"Oh? Only five years younger than me?" The woman giggled again. "I feel a little less like a cougar now!"

Odasaku found this woman unsettling. Before he could speak, she stepped close, leaning into his space and Odasaku found himself instinctively backing up until he was against a wall—when had he stepped that far back? The space wasn't big to begin with, but this woman somehow knew how to really take up a room. Odasaku felt like he was prey with the way she was looking at him.

Even though she wasn't attacking him, Odasaku still felt like he was in danger, somehow. She reached up a gloved hand, and caressed Odasaku's cheek, causing him to flinch. "Do you know what I want?" She asked him again.

Odasaku was increasingly confused. "If it's my attention—-you have it?" He gazed back at her, trying to subtly move her hand off of his face, grasping her wrist with his own hand. His ability wasn't activating and Odasaku was in one of those few rare moments when he had no idea what was actually going to happen.

His eyes locked on her own.

Why did his body suddenly feel like lead?

Odasaku felt his body was growing only colder—not warmer. Her gaze felt like he was peering into a window with a flame about to go out. The light in her eyes was dim, reminding Odasaku of Dazai. She was, he realized, just another broken person like himself. But the difference between her and him was that he was determined to keep his own flame burning tall and bright within himself— his own will of fire.

"Show me that I have it," she smirked, and before Odasaku could stop her—or really register anything, she pressed her frigid rosebud lips to his, obscuring their faces behind her parasol.

—x—-

Yū and Shinji sat on their beds, Sakura clinging to Shinji, watching as Alu helped Katsumi just calm down. Yosano was there too, eyeing Alu. "How do you feel?"Alu asked Katsumi, gently.

Katsumi took shaky breaths, wiping his eyes. Alu had a warm cloth and had been wiping his eyes with it. "I'm sorry I yelled," he mumbled, resting his head on Alu's arm. Alu blinked and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and nuzzled the top of his messy hair.

"I'm flattered that you stood up for me, Katsumi," she said, softly.

"I wish I did," Yū piped in, rueful. "I totally would have if I knew what to say!" He protested.

"I've got such a cute little protective brigade!" Alu teased.

"If he makes you cry, we'll make him cry!" Yū piped in, helpful to contribute and eager to not be shown up by Katsumi.

"Let's not get carried away," Alu giggled, though she continued to hug Katsumi. The other kids hung back but Alu blinked and she opened her free arm. The kids lit up, knowing that meant it was okay to crowd her and crowd her they did. They practically toppled her over, and Alu lay on the ground now, with the kids snuggled up to her.

"Do you have things handled here? Would you like some company?" Yosano asked, awkwardly.

"Things are handled but I'd still really appreciate the company, " Alu said, gazing at Yosano with a sad smile. "I know I haven't been the best person to trust in terms of reliability—"

"It's not your reliability that's causing concern," Yosano sighed, not wanting to expound too deeply in the presence of the kids. She didn't want to set them off again, either.

"I'm not going to turn my back on Elise," Alu stated, even without Yosano expounding. Yosano sighed, frustrated but this was just how things were going to be with Alu. It didn't make her any less important to them as a friend.

"I know," Yosano nodded, eyeing Alu. "Just thought you should know that it's not a burden to talk to us either."

"I'm afraid if I rely too much I'll just hurt you again," Alu's eyes flickered. She let go of the kids, allowing Shinji to wander over to his bed with Sakura where they were going to read one of Shinji's books.

Yū separated himself from Alu to climb into a bean bag chair and play a video game hand-held console. Katsumi was begrudging to budge but also separated himself from Alu, as they both stood up from the ground.

"People hurt people…friends apologize," Yosano smiled. "I'm not holding a grudge, so you don't have to keep blaming yourself."

Alu sniffled.

Yosano looked at her with alarm. Katsumi and the other kids did, too. Alu wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, voice shaky. "I just, I really hate that I'm so 'flaky' as Ranpo put it. I know you don't approve of my decisions regarding the Port Mafia. I wish I could reassure you all that I do have things under control but I know the truth. I know I'm reckless at times. I know I can't promise that…I won't continue to create bonds with people you may not approve of."

Yosano tilted her head at this girl trying so hard to be a rock for everyone else. She opened her own arms, wordlessly. "Your life is your own to live. Take responsibility for your own choices. We trust you to do this, Alu. Also… I want you to know that it's okay to just be your true self around us," she said with an encouraging smile. "You don't have to shoulder everything on your own. Lean upon your friends for emotional support sometimes too."

Alu sniffled, looking down at the ground.

Alu didn't know if she had a right to hug Yosano. Yosano didn't let her choose. Yosano hugged Alu tightly. Alu's eyes watered and it was her turn to bury her face into someone's shoulder for a change of pace. It wasn't Dazai this time who she felt herself crumble before. But it was okay. It was still…a friend's shoulder to cry on.

—x—-

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and flinched, opening his eyes, though they were red, muddy, and empty. "I don't know what is in your heart, but I believe that you are the only one who can make a difference now," Alu said, with a sad smile.

Dazai still didn't understand.

Dazai's eyes slowly opened. He was greeted with harsh sunlight coming in through the sunbeams of his current living arrangement. Since his place was found out by Fyodor and those in his little gang, Dazai had to move and now he was in someplace that clearly looked like someone hadn't bothered unpacking. Sitting up, his hair tangled and messy, he yawned, stretching.

That dream again?

While most of the past few months worth of information just felt like blurry paintings in his mind with random bits of audio mixed in, Dazai's mind seemed intent on picking out that specific moment in time to replay in his mind. His mind had finally mostly calmed down, but while most of those memories were a blur he didn't think would ever come into focus, he had been unable to forget those few that had felt painfully fresh.

On some level, while he wanted to act like the fight with Odasaku had never happened, he had not been able to get rid of the terrible feeling it left behind. Even if Odasaku didn't know it happened, Dazai did and he felt forced to carry that terrible revelation on his own. Still, Odasaku was important, so, despite how painful it was for Dazai to acknowledge his friend valued orphans over him, he found he would still do whatever it took to help Odasaku keep them safe. Dazai didn't want to have another fight like that one ever again with Odasaku. If it meant bottling up how he felt, he would manage it.

"It is a given that everything worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering."

Dazai mused he was probably a true masochist. Of course he was also a sadist. In the end, pain was all the same to Dazai. A cruel system was all the 'circle of life' would ever be. Dazai mused to himself, what the face of a meaningless existence even looked like. What was the value of the act of living? The cost of living would always be suffering.

Ironic, wasn't it? There should be nothing worth pursuing if it would only prolong a life full of suffering and yet, here he was, still 'living' for the sake of Odasaku's happiness.

Odasaku was Dazai's 'cross to bear'.

He would just keep pushing that suffering down.

Like he did every time he paid the cost for caring about that person.