Disclaimer: Don't own it, unfortunately…..
Thanks Mak for being such an awesome beta
Just be patient…..a few more chapters until something big. I think you might already know what it is. Thanks for reading and review, you know you want to.
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Chapter Sixteen
Musings
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Alex woke up Tuesday morning feeling refreshed and less sore. He really wanted to get out of the infirmary but didn't want to risk adding time to his stay by annoying Madam Pomfrey. Alex decided he would be the perfect patient today in hopes of getting released tomorrow.
Hermione came by before breakfast to see how he was doing. He told her his plan to get out of the infirmary and laughed saying, "good luck."
"Hermione, would you get another book for me?" Alex asked suddenly.
"Sure. What would you like this time?"
"Could you find a book on wizarding law, something about under aged wizards and guardianships," he said thinking about what he needed information about.
"Thinking about asking someone to be your guardian?" she asked curiously. Alex had told her about his meeting with his mother's lawyer and that he needed a guardian. They hadn't talked more about it and she was curious if he had decided.
"No, I just want some more information about it, that's all."
"Alright, I'll try and get it to you before lunch," she said as she kissed him.
"Thank you, Hermione."
XXX
True to her word Hermione brought the book to him before lunch. He read as much information as he could. There were some interesting points he needed to consider. His mother's lawyer was correct when he said he had to the end of the school year to choose a guardian. The Ministry of Magic and the Department of Magic, in the United States, both gave more rights to under-aged witches and wizards on matters concerning them, than they did with muggle youths. They were given the right to choose for themselves and had only the limit of the school year to decide.
Alex became worried when he read the following passage:
"The underage witch or wizard is given the ability to choose their guardian. When they do it becomes binding, ie the guardian is the child's official parent. If the child's birth parents are located or return, the contract cannot be undone. There were a few cases brought to the courts in the United States regarding overruling the guardianship papers when the birth parents came back into the child's life, but, they were all denied."
Alex knew he needed a guardian but he was very reluctant to choose one when he didn't know who his real father was or if he was still alive. He felt certain that his mother left him information about his father in the deposit box in New York. He wouldn't make any decisions until he learned the identity of his father. But, he still thought about who he would choose if his father was dead or wanted nothing to do with him.
Alex knew who he would ask; it would just be a matter of winning him over. The majority of the school did not like the Head of Slytherin. He could sort of understand why, he wasn't the most patient teacher or the most enjoyable, but Alex liked him anyways. He figured most students didn't take the time to get to know him. Alex liked his dry sense of humor and he was incredibly intelligent. Most teachers didn't appreciate when he asked in depth questions about a theory or the like. Professor Snape didn't seem to mind when he asked questions. In fact, he almost seemed to like their little debates about potions.
Despite what other people thought about Professor Snape he was a good guy. All Alex had to do prove that fact was remember last night. Alex enjoyed his time with his professor. It was nice to just sit and talk to him over tea and biscuits. The Gryffindors probably wouldn't believe him if he told them he had tea with the "bat of the dungeons." Alex laughed at the thought of their shocked faces.
Professor Snape had also carried him to the hospital wing when he collapsed on the stairs. Alex felt comforted being in his professor's arms. It had been a long time since someone had held him like that, and even longer since he had been held by someone he was starting to think of as a father.
The only time he ever had a fatherly figure was when his mom's best friend was around. Joseph was a great guy who was always there for Alex's mom when she needed him. Alex always thought that Joseph knew who his father was. When Alex would ask, Joseph would never tell him anything. When his mom would get sad Joseph would be there to help her get through it. Alex never knew what she would get so sad over; he hoped it was about his father. It meant that she still thought of him, but it also led him to the conclusion that he was dead. If she loved him so much she would surely be with him if he was alive. Right? Alex never got answers. He shook his head thinking about the many times he had asked his mother about his father. She was always vague, but told Alex his father was a brilliant man who loved him more than anything.
When Alex would ask where his father was she would tell him he was dead. She never went into his death and she never took him to his grave. It was just something she wouldn't discuss with Alex. It infuriated him that she would keep information about his father from him. One time he ran away for a night. The cops eventually picked him up and he was grounded for three weeks. He didn't care though; he was still pissed off at her for the whole thing. Joseph talked his mother down and he was only grounded for a week.
Joseph did the usual things with Alex that father's did with their son's. He played catch with him, took him fishing, taught him how to play football, when he was around he held Alex at night when he would have a bad dream, things that made Alex wish his father was really alive. Eventually, Joseph left. He got a better job in California. It broke Alex's heart, and part of his mother's as well.
From the age of eight on, Alex never had another father figure in his life. Anyone that tried didn't get very far. Alex didn't want to open himself up to loving someone who would leave him. They eventually did leave, and Alex never cared when they did.
Thinking about the few men in his mother's life that left, got him thinking about his professor. Severus Snape didn't seem like the sort of man who would get close to many people. But, Alex thought they had an amiable relationship. They talked yes, but Alex doubted that he could go to his professor for comfort. There was the one time when he patted Alex on the shoulder when he was sad about his mother. It wasn't very comforting but it was more than what he was used to.
Alex was sure that his professor would be a good father. He wondered why he never got married or had kids. Alex didn't know that much about his professor so he didn't know for sure. Hopefully, during the break Alex could get to know his professor better. He started thinking more about the guardianship. Could he get his professor to sign the papers when he knew his father could still be alive?
XXX
Severus was lying wide awake in his bed. He couldn't fall asleep and he was seriously contemplating taking the Dreamless Sleep Potion.
When he was out doing his rounds he never imagined he would come across Alex, limping down the stairs. Severus would have taken points from the boy, but he sympathized with him. He knew the tyranny of Poppy Pomfrey and shared Alex's pain with having to deal with her. So, instead of deducting points, he took his assistant to the kitchens for some tea and biscuits.
They had a decent conversation. Alex certainly wasn't a dunderhead and Severus couldn't help but like the boy a little. He wasn't spoiled like some of his Slytherins, nor was he dimwitted, like Longbottom. Alex had a good head on his shoulders and could hold a good conversation. To Severus, these were very important characteristics.
As they were making their way up the stairs to the hospital wing, he was surprised to feel a pull at his pants leg. He didn't show his shock, but inside he was. Alex was sprawled out on the stairs wheezing. He couldn't make it the remainder of the way. Severus wasn't very keen on the idea of carrying him, but did anyways. He avoided human contact as much as possible now. Only Albus and Minerva could touch him without a hex being thrown.
When Alex had laid his head on Severus's shoulder, he felt his heart clench. It reminded him of when Aurora would put her head on his shoulder and read a book. It got worse when Alex's breathing evened out and he could feel the boys light breathing on his neck. Yet another reminder of his late wife. The real killer was when he felt his heart lighten, as if holding the boy somehow made him feel better. It was very unnerving to Severus because he hadn't held anyone since his wife died. Now, here he was holding a boy in his arms and he felt content. He felt slightly disgusted with himself.
He felt even more disgusted when he ran his hand through Alex's hair. What right did he have to feel for anyone? He didn't think he had any right at all. The boy was starting to get to him, and he wasn't happy about it at all.
He started thinking about his wife and who he was when he was with her. The real him, the Severus that died the day she died. He used to be carefree when he was with her. The world only held two people: Severus and Aurora. She showed him what love was and he loved her, worshiped her, adored her, and so much more. The passion he held for his lovely lady was incredible.
Severus remembered waking up with her on his chest, smiling in her sleep. They would wake up and share breakfast in bed while talking about the news in the Daily Prophet. Their day would be spent lazing about, reading or visiting her parents. The weekends were his favorite time; he could just be with her all day and that was all he needed to be satisfied. He remembered when she told him she was pregnant.
He was sitting in their library reading a book in front of the fire. She came in and sat down beside him smiling brightly. He kept reading knowing she was dying to tell him something. Practically everything got her excited so he was used to this. He didn't suspect a thing.
She finally got annoyed with waiting and threw her arms around his neck hugging him tightly. "Good Gods woman, what is it?" he said slightly annoyed that he lost his place.
She pulled back and looked at him seeing a playful glint in his eyes. She smacked him lightly on the chest. "You big oaf, I have wonderful news."
"Mm hmm," she always had wonderful news, he thought.
"I'm pregnant," she practically squealed. She was bouncing with delight and he just looked at her in shock. After a moment she started laughing at him. "Well…."
Severus smiled brightly at her, and put both of his hands on the side of her face. He kissed her passionately, eventually pulling her into his lap. When they broke the kiss, Severus was still smiling. "Did you just find out?"
"Yes. I went for a check up because I wasn't feeling well and I found out I'm three weeks pregnant."
"I love you," his voice thick with emotion. Since he had been with her he had imagined what their child would look like, and now he was finally getting the chance to know for sure. He was a happy man, indeed.
She jumped up off the couch suddenly, and headed to the fireplace, "I have to tell my parents!"
Thinking about that time was always hard for him. Blinking rapidly a tear escaped his eye and slid down his face. He hastily wiped it away angry with himself. Now, after all this time, he hated showing his feelings. They were only reserved for Aurora and since she was gone he wouldn't, and couldn't, show his emotions to anyone. It was a weakness for him now.
Damn that boy for bringing back these emotions. He turned on his side and punched his pillow. Closing his eyes he recited all the potions ingredients he knew, in alphabetical order, until he fell asleep.
