Vol. 6

Ch. 3

The Worst Things in Life Are Given Away For Free At Your Own Expense

Odasaku's eyes bugged.

He wasn't a virgin.

But he still felt hella confused right now. She didn't deepen the kiss past lip contact, but Odasaku was painfully aware that if he didn't do something then it wouldn't be long before things got even more awkward. He still felt incredibly cold—although some heat was snaking its way up his spine, so at least his body was registering something again?

Dazai would have at least looked a little cool, but Odasaku felt like a suffocating fish out of water. He still didn't know her name although he recalled something Alu had vaguely said. That's when it came back to him. His eyes flashed, and he put his hands on her shoulders, and not to be rough but to be clear, he forcibly parted her from himself. "Enough," he said, trying to remain composed but also still flustered.

The woman gazed at him. "Ah, are you perhaps into men?" she asked, bemused.

Odasaku ran a hand through his dirty brown adobe highlighted locks. "I really don't have a preference," he protested. "Gender or type don't actually matter to me," he disclaimed, still bewildered as to why they were talking about his relationship status when he had more pressing concerns to tend to.

"I see," the woman chuckled. "So you're a unicorn? Should I feel flattered to meet one in real life? I have mixed feelings considering I'm no besotted starry-eyed maiden," she giggled, teasing Odasaku despite the tense air between them. Odasaku felt like her eyes were trying to suck him in deeper. He recalled what her ability was now.

But, she would learn quickly that Odasaku wasn't easily affected.

She felt like a weird combination of Dazai's worst side and Alu's most bubbly. It was like looking at a future love child between them…from the past. "I'm not a unicorn," Odasaku stated, puzzled at the comparison.

She pointed to him, humming. "Yes you are. Your priorities indicate you are a very special person!" She proclaimed. "The question is, what would get you to finally fold?"

Odasaku didn't want to fold anything with this woman and he pursed his lips. "Are you Ms. Austen?" he curtly asked, cutting straight to the matter at hand.

Ms. Austen blinked and then giggled. "Oh my, so you do know who I am. Pleasure is mine," she hummed, and she leaned against Odasaku, and Odsaku found himself suddenly somehow pinned to the wall again, but he couldn't even put a hand on his gun—not that he had any intention to shoot her when she was defenseless.

Making a sound, and trying to remove her, he only felt inward frustration. How does one get someone so clingy to remove themself? How was he supposed to escape? What the hell should he do in this compromising situation? What the hell would Dazai have done?

Odasaku awkwardly gazed back at the woman, who had no intention of letting him move out of her grasp easily. Ah. Odasaku had a terrible idea just then. Compliments of Dazai. If he could get Jane Austen distracted by the heat of the moment, maybe he could slip out and lock her in the cell! Yeah, that could work! Then he could escape and get help, backup, or something to try to better assess the situation. Of course, that would require him to step up his game in flirting.

He could just see his friend, cat-grinning, egging him on to just 'go, go go,'. Odasaku felt like his face was finally turning red like a beet.

He respected boundaries, especially physical ones, but he could tell she was openly inviting him to do something so he tried not to feel too bad about this. He took her face in his hands. Using his own weight, he turned their positions so she was the one against the wall now, and he was the one pinning her.

"May I?" Odasaku asked, voice a bit lower and gruff since he was incredibly terrible at being 'suave'. At least he thought so. If Dazai were here, he could just hear his friend's laughter. God, Odasaku missed him.

Ms. Austen gazed at him, still smiling although it was her turn to look a little surprised, although that was quickly replaced with a half-lidded smirk. "What a good boy," she crooned, running her gloved dainty fingers through his hair, wrapping her arms around his neck as Odasaku leaned in to kiss her again.

Odasaku thought this woman was incredibly alluring and maybe for the right person, she would be a good fit. Odasaku found he'd never actually given much thought to his own 'type'. But, types weren't something that Odsaku ever cared to explore. People were just people, as far as he could tell.

Jane Austen continued to gaze at him half-lidded. Odasaku intentionally missed her lips at the last second and instead, leaned against her ear. "So your room or mine?" He had to assess whether or not she had plans to change their setting to determine his next step.

Jane giggled. "Here is fine," she played with Odasaku's shirt, already starting to unbutton it a little. Odasaku's heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest but it wasn't because this was about to get a bit steamy. Odasaku was honestly just trying to mimic Dazai, and felt very incredibly embarrassed.

"I can't promise it will be comfortable," Odasaku admitted, catching her hand that wandered under his partially unbuttoned shirt. He interlaced her fingers with his that could be seen as romantic but mostly was just him being awkward. He could hear Dazai's voice.

Fake it until you make it, go go go!

Odasaku was a terrible actor.

His face burned. He pressed a kiss to the woman's jaw, his stubble tickling her. "So forward, where's that shy little kitten?" Ms. Austen mused, running her hands down his sides, all the while fingering the gun in his holster by its handle.

"Woof," Odasaku replied, and he wanted to fall into the floor—be swallowed by another space portal— as he remembered that one time with Dazai at Bar Lupin back when he was still friends with Ango. He had Dazai's face pop into his mind from that one time when he pretended Odasaku was his dog and had him fetch something Ango had been holding.

"Ah, I see, not a kitten…more like a stray dog," Ms. Austen hummed again, and leaned against the wall. Odasaku noted that she had been caressing his gun, and his eyes flickered. His ability wasn't activating so she hadn't chosen to do anything besides what she was already doing. "Don't be so tense," she hummed, caressing his collarbone as she planted a small kiss there.

Odasaku felt himself shiver for the first time.

He was seriously in trouble. He couldn't let things go too much further south in more ways than one. Mentally, inwardly trying to collect his thoughts and not lose sight of the real focus at hand, Odasaku pulled himself away from her. He still needed answers. No, he just had one question. One that he needed answered.

"Where is Kōsuke?"

Ms. Austen smiled, half lidded. "My, my, so concerned…" she saw Odasaku's actual entire mood shift for the worse and sighed. "The boy is fine. No harm will come to him while he's under my care," she said, playing with Odsaku's shirt, now very pouty.

"He's in your care?" Odasaku's heart raced and not because some woman was messing with his shirt, trying to half undress him. No, Odasaku's heart was racing because he actually realized he was way closer to finding his boy, Kōsuke, than he had even thought possible.

"You could be too, if you would stay focused," Ms. Austen huffed, making a cheeky remark.

Odasaku had originally planned to play along with Ms. Austen at least until he could think of a better idea—but he had that terrible idea —compliments of Dazai— pop back into his mind. It was time to execute it. "Sorry," He found himself immediately saying, a habit more than anything if he felt he was being an inconvenience.

"I'll forgive you," Ms. Austen hummed, "if you make this more interesting."

Odasaku's eyes wandered to the grated wall where the exit was. "I think I can do that," he murmured gruffly, and before Ms. Austen could react, he pulled her over to the bars and knocked the parasol out of her hands, pinning her wrists to the bars, and kissed her for the first time, more deeply. She made a noise of surprise and intrigue, and Odasaku felt the gun and holster being removed from his waist.

It dropped to the floor, with a small thud, out of their reach, so at least he didn't have to worry about her being the one to pull out his gun and shoot him with it anymore. Yes, that thought had crossed Odasaku's mind briefly, but since his ability didn't confirm that paranoia, he knew it was safe to say the woman wasn't interested in shooting him.

Odasaku didn't want to lose this lead. He didn't want to lose his chance to find Kōsuke. Wherever they were, he couldn't even determine if Kōsuke was here. Odasaku needed to take more risk if he was going to save his silly child. He relied so heavily on Alu and Dazai to help him take care of things, but here, Odasaku had a chance to try to use his own power—just like that dislikeable detective Ayatsuji had taunted before. Staying by this woman's side would help Odasaku, that much his own instincts told him. If it meant finding Kōsuke and bringing him home, it was Odasaku's turn to give it his best shot.

A part of Odasaku had a small voice telling him to get out now, but Odasaku was stubborn. His resolve drowned out that small voice of discord. He knew what he was doing—sort of.

Ms. Austen continued to kiss him, closing her eyes, enjoying the sense of control she had finally managed to exert over this dense fool. While he'd been less predictable than a normal man, she had finally managed to tap into Odasaku's sense of 'pride'.

She giggled into the kiss, feeling a sense of sadistic pleasure and sense of victory. He had no idea that he was already under her spell. The second domino had already fallen.

—x—x—

"I'm telling ya, this is the last time I do this!" Ranpo protested, irritated. He was in the kitchen with Alu. Fukuzawa hung back, and Yosano was keeping an eye on the scowling Port Mafia Executive.

What was Ranpo complaining about this time? Well, Alu looked at the hat in her hands. Ranpo had been hanging onto it still—despite everything. "This feels like 'The agenthood of the Traveling Hat'," she joked, making a reference to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Ranpo huffed, a hand on his hip, the other waving at Alu, disapprovingly.

"So, when will you be clearing out?" The grumpy red-head asked, glaring at the A.D.A. agents.

"And leave her alone with you? Hell to the no," Yosano beamed at him.

It was like seeing an angry pair of feral animals having a showdown. Alu sweated. "C'mon, please don't fight, you guys!" she said, ruefully.

"Tch," Chūya huffed, but he broke eye contact first—so Alu wouldn't continue to be distressed because of his hostility.

Alu fiddled with the hat in her hands. After she'd had her cry, Yosano and her had returned downstairs, and thankfully the boys hadn't caused any big mess while they were out of the room.

The orphans were upstairs, giving the adults space. Alu knew the agents and Chūya were still waiting for her to expound on this plan regarding Kōsuke's rescue. Alu wanted to tell the plan, but as she gazed at the people in the room, she felt her heart sink a little. There was someone still missing. She wasn't referring to Dazai or Odasaku—she knew wherever they were at the moment they'd be on board, but this person happened to be extra difficult to connect with as of late.

Clutching her hat, Alu gazed at it. She knew it was important to Ranpo and that he was sharing it with her—that he'd always tried to share it with her. Alu realized this hat was a sign of Ranpo's honest faith in her own ability as a person—not related to any special powers. How had she not seen that before? How had that not crossed her mind before? She'd been so caught up with how Ranpo viewed her, how the agency viewed her,that she hadn't even realized just how much they already trusted her.

She had two out of the three in the trifecta already on her side, but it was that third side that would make the difference this time around. Alu took a deep breath, her thoughts tumbling into her mind. Her arm still hurt from before. She put the hat on her head however, adjusting it, and gave them all a determined glint in her eye, finally. Now wasn't the time to be weak. The kids were counting on her. Odasaku was counting on her. Alu wouldn't fail them.

"You're right," she said, gazing at Ranpo with a grin.

"Obviously!" Ranpo was pleased to finally have something sensible come out of this girl's mouth. He puffed out his chest like a peacock shows off.

Fukuzawa just hoped whatever this plan was, that it would not be reckless. A part of him still wondered if he'd not done enough to have Odasaku stay with the Armed Detective Agency. A small part of Fukuzawa honestly felt like he'd failed that young man, not just in the present but perhaps in the past as well. Alu had pointed out that he didn't have a right to determine someone's strength or worth, and perhaps she had been right.

"No more running," Alu acknowledged, gazing at Ranpo, Fukuzawa, and Yosano. She clenched her fist by her side. She hadn't been able to stop Kōsuke from the fate that had been revealed by him before. Even now, she was at even more of a disadvantage than she had been before. She had realized finally in that terrible moment that she'd stepped into that train car to see Odasaku and Dazai—that she wasn't the solution—just a convenience at times.

This time, things would be different. This time she'd make sure that Kōsuke was saved by all of their collective power combined. Even though she had stated that Dazai had to be the one to turn the tables, she had no plans to make him feel like he had to do it alone.

"Eh, we should have a name for this plan!" Ranpo piped up, thoughtfully.

Alu smiled. "I already do!" she cheerfully said.

"What is it?" Yosano asked, curious.

Alu grinned broadly, her eyes twinkling, though there was a tint of sadness there too if one looked close enough to catch it. "This operation is gonna be dubbed: 'No More Orphans'!"

—x—x—

He stared at nothing in particular.

For the past couple of days, nothing had happened. Even now, nothing was going on. Not that he particularly cared. He was detached from the world, as it were. He felt numb, more numb than usual. The room itself was dark, the curtains drawn to keep out natural light for the most part. He had been getting terrible sleep.

All he could think about was the humiliation he had felt at the time he'd last spoken with his boss, Officer Chief Taneda.

Ango was in his office, bad mood forced down. Aoki and Murakoso watched him from where they were standing, near the door. Aoki was quiet, but Murakoso cleared her throat. Murakoso didn't normally appear nervous but it was clear that she and Aoki wanted to say something. Finally, Ango, already in a bad mood, glanced at her. "Spit it out." The command made Murakoso flinch.

Finally, she took a deep breath. "Uh, sir," she started.

It was Aoki who finally broke the ice. "Officer Chief Taneda asked us to inform you that starting tomorrow, you're to take the entire week off."

Ango stared at his bodyguard like he'd grown two heads or turned into Dazai. He stood up immediately. "There's no need," he began.

"It's not up for debate," Aoki stated.

"The hell it's not," Ango angrily grabbed his coat from his chair, putting it on. "Excuse me. I'm going to go do my job now." Ango couldn't believe that his own boss was trying to get him to take time off. Even if it was paid—it was still frustrating. He didn't need a break. He needed this job to be a distraction from everything shitty going on in his life right now. He'd prove to Officer Chief Taneda that he was capable of getting his work done professionally and without any further distractions!

"Sir, please wait!" Murakoso protested, blocking the door.

Ango paused but only to glare. "Let me pass," he commanded.

"Sir, you don't want to go against the big boss's direct order! This is why he's concerned!" She pointed out.

"I just need to prove to him that I'm fine!" Ango hotly replied.

"He wants you to lay low until you stop trending," Aoki interjected.

Ango looked at Aoki blankly. "Trending?"

"Sir, the fight you had with that girl, Alu is online," Murakoso grimaced. "Someone recorded your fight and while we're taking care of scrubbing the internet as we speak of it, it…definitely got around quick…."

Ango froze. He'd never trended on the internet for anything before and yet somehow he was trending for the one thing he didn't want to trend for? The heartless irony was to say the least, cumbersome. Why was it that the girl seemed to be the bane of all of his existing problems? Ango's phone rang just then.

He answered immediately.

"Ah, I'm glad I caught you," Officer Chief Taneda's voice came in from the other end.

Ango felt embarrassed that even those at his workplace knew about his fight with Alu. Especially when it came to having that fight in the same room as the boss from the Port Mafia. It was even worse when his own boss was now involved. "Sir, I can explain—!" Ango immediately began.

"—take some time," Officer Chief Taneda interjected. "That's an order."

"But sir!" Ango protested. "She was the one that got me into that situation! I had no desire to run in with the Port Mafia! I know how this must make the organization look but —!"

"—You can control your own actions, or are you not an adult?" His boss's cold tone cut through Ango like a knife.

Feeling like a child being reprimanded, Ango grit his teeth so hard he almost wished his jaw would just break. The pain of it would be a welcome distraction from the suffocating feeling in his chest. His own subordinates wouldn't look him in the eye.

Ango felt cold.

He felt alone.

His work had been the one place he could prove himself to others, but now?

It felt like Ango was grasping at nothing to hang onto.

And that is where he found himself now, staring at nothing, his hair a mess, his night clothes rumpled. He had no pretense of being orderly and neat here. It clearly showed in his current living situation. Some half-eaten noodles in a bowl sat on the counter near the sink. He lay in his futon, his table cluttered with some folders with miscellaneous work crap.

Ango's apartment was usually neat and tidy, but right now it looked like it had been blown through by a whirlwind or lived in by a college dorm student with little to no care for their personal hygiene.

If this is what being alive all came down to, Ango was seriously considering just drinking himself numb again and smoking until his lungs turned black. Not like anyone would care about his health going downhill. His own worth was only determined by how he served other people, after all.

If he couldn't even do his job then what was the meaning to his existence?

Maybe, that was just life's cruel answer.

Maybe there had never been any meaning at all.

Ango could feel the stubble already tickling his jaw and mouth but he didn't even have the energy to shave. Whatever, he'd stay here, a hermit, for a week— like he'd been ordered to be by his boss. Feeling ashamed was not something Ango wanted to feel in front of his boss but he felt the shame now for his actions. He had regretted what he'd done and maybe what he said had been his true feelings but he had to remember that he had to control his temper.

That girl had claimed they were friends using his volatile emotions as her evidence. Even if a small part of him had thought it was a fantastical proposition, the truth was reality existed for a reason. Reality needed a proper order and guideline rules to control chaos and reckless abandon.

He was Ango Sakaguchi, private agent of the Division of Unusual Powers.

He had to be a model citizen.

He had to remember that he and that girl could never be friends.

His semi-drunk thoughts wandered to another unpleasant face. Staring at the small ashtray holding about a dozen burned out cigarettes, Ango just listlessly grabbed a lighter, to smoke another. In his hand, was a particular brand of cigarettes. It was the same brand both Odasaku and Dazai had smoked with him once upon a time.

Ango recalled more about his fight with Dazai. "You know that you and I are not that different…" Ango had said. Yes, much to Ango's chagrin, he hated the fact that the longer he dwelled on it, the more clear it only became that Dazai was like Ango's shadow. Or maybe it had always been—

—The other way around.

"Oh? How so?" Had been the "ex"- Port mafia Executive's dark frigidly amused reply.

Maybe at the time he had been trying to connect with Dazai. "We both care about those closest to us." Ango had tried to convince Dazai—hopelessly— that they weren't restrained by the sides they were on— but Ango lacked Alu's caliber. The real world had already crashed down around him. It would only be a matter of time before it did the same for that idealistic girl who lived with her head in the clouds. Dazai had only laughed mirthlessly. A haunting laugh that clung to Ango's ears. Even now.

He gripped the box of cigarettes tightly, as it crumpled in his fingers. Expression twisting in pain as his mind mercilessly continued to play out the memory, Ango just threw the cigarette box against the wall. He hated Bar Lupin at that moment. If only it'd just burn and take all of his terrible memories with it.

"Whatever you think of me…I will always put what's right first." Ango had replied.

Dazai's taunting words, "Well aren't you just a mirror citizen?" echoed in Ango's mind. With a growl, Ango sat up, reaching for the nearest bottle. He hated that even at his lowest point, it felt like only that guy could make him feel even lower.

"Shut up," Ango mumbled, voice hoarse from lack of use these past couple days. Despite all his drinking, he felt parched. Dazai just began to laugh in Ango's mind, still smiling at him, still looking down on him.

Dazai held his gun out and pointed it right at Ango's chest. Ango found himself freezing on instinct. Damn, if only he had his blasted gun. He was a fool for trusting Dazai. He was a fool in general for thinking anything good could come out of this exchange. He braced himself for the inevitable shot of gunfire that would ring out and momentarily pierce him. "This place…was Odasaku's tomb," Dazai said calmly.

Shut up.

Dazai hummed. "Don't act so surprised. After all, because you gave The Port Mafia what it wanted, it, in turn, used Odasaku as its scapegoat—much like what you yourself did," he brightly finished.

He hated that voice. He hated that 'I'm better than you could ever be' attitude. Odasaku had died once before. Ango knew the girl had changed things, but had she actually saved their relationship? No, it felt more like Ango would never be allowed to have peace of mind regarding Dazai's insistence to slowly tear away his sanity.

"But he was shot by Gide…y'see…that spot you're standing in…is where he drew his last breath in my arms," Dazai's voice continued.

Ango felt like Dazai's dark eyes were sucking him in, and removing any oxygen in the room that remained in the process. Someone so much younger than him, was so much more cruel. It was haunting to think about someone like Dazai.

"He was driven to the point of no return…because of people like you," Dazai said, with the tone of someone who no longer gave a damn about anyone. At least, anyone that wasn't Odasaku.

Ango grit his teeth.

Shut up.

Dazai wouldn't lie about anything regarding Odasaku, that much, Ango knew, even this far down the rabbit hole. Dazai however, did condemn him for whatever role he had played in what had originally happened to Odasaku. And honestly? Ango still couldn't dispute that. Only he chose instead to grasp at senseless excuses.

"It isn't like I ordered Gide to kill him!" Ango could still hear the echo of that conversation, one raw long drawn out terrible nightmare that he couldn't escape from whether or not his eyes were open or not. Ango gripped the bottle tightly. His hand was shaking.

"You're right," Dazai continued, coldly. "You didn't have to order anything, you just had to sit back and watch the dominos fall."

Ango felt his throat tighten. He grit his teeth. Even now, it felt like he just couldn't find the words that would make his actions acceptable in those cold empty eyes. Ango wanted to raise his voice. He wanted to accuse Dazai who knew so little about his feelings in all of this. He wanted to tell Dazai that he also disagreed with some methods but the threat of Mimic seemed more pressing—Ango's eyes flickered.

Had his reasoning changed from that time, after all? Before, Ango knew that Mimic was the priority, but now? Had he been doing the right thing in the end if it was at the expense of a friend's life? Did circumstances even matter when it came to moral ambiguity? Dazai had blamed Ango for not stopping the dominos from falling.

Had Dazai also implied something more?

Something Ango hadn't even considered before.