No Beginning Chapter Author's Note here except to say I LOVE MY REVIEWERS.

Chapter 26:

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Hermione's Point of View

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Cold.

She stared at the piece of paper before her, rereading the words weakly as she tried to deny that it was true. She was so stunned, she barely noticed her knees touch the floor or the involuntary shivering of her hands. She just stared, wanting to deny what she knew to be true as she stared at the elegant green ink handwriting of Draco Malfoy.

Hermione,

My mother wrote to me last night and asked me to return home early to settle some family matters. Don't worry about me, everything will be fine. Have a Merry Christmas and make sure Zabini and the Weasel-ette don't get into too much trouble. Till next time, take care of yourself since I really don't want to get stuck with all that Head Boy work on my own.

Draco

Till next time..., She thought, feeling herself overcome with a cold dread as realization sunk in. Granted, it was an assumption far beyond what the simple words expressed, but she knew better than to expect him to be direct about anything. If matters were indeed as light and carefree as the note made them out to be, he wouldn't have even bothered with the letter. No, the message was clear. Take care of yourself and keep an eye on our friends while I am gone, however long that might be.

He's running. She concluded, finally lifting her eyes off the paper. He knows it's coming and he's going to run. Till next time... would there be a next time?

She pulled the paper close to her, hugging it as though it would bring him back. And though she tried to shake the feeling that this was the end, all she could feel was an unyielding sense of cold.

One week later

"Come with us Hermione" begged Ginny for the thousandth time. "I'm sure he'll be back as soon as school starts. There is no need for you to just stay around here waiting for nothing."

"I know" replied the girl, her voice grateful though the feeling didn't breech the deep sadness that threatened to overwhelm her once cheerful brown orbs. "But you know I can't go anywhere without worrying. I want to be here if he gets back".

"When he gets back" insisted Ginny, though the head girl could see that the conviction in the redhead's voice was not in the least bit reflected in her eyes.

"Don't worry about me. I'll write every week without fail." reassured Hermione, not wanting to worry her friend. "Besides, you'll have your hands full if Zabini visits. Merlin knows your brother has been impossible ever since the Yule ball." Her efforts were rewarded by a giggle from her love-struck friend. "Merry Christmas Ginny".

"Merry Christmas Hermione" granted the redhead, hugging her friend tightly before turning to board the Hogwarts Express. Hermione didn't blame the girl for trying to shake some sense into her. But her current worries went beyond her normal logical state. She needed to be here, at Hogwarts, because she would not be able to forgive herself if he came back only to find her gone. She had spoken to her parents, asking to stay to catch up with school work. Then, putting on a good face for the Golden Duo, she had urged Harry and Ron to go on to the Burrow without her, though the facade had failed in impressing the youngest Weasley and one very intuitive Slytherin who had been all too aware of Draco's absence. She had let them both see the letter, and though neither agreed in her conclusions, their reassurances lacked any conviction beyond their need to try to relieve her anxiousness.

Where are you now, Draco? She wondered, pulling her robes closer to her body as she began to make her way back to campus along with the few students who would be staying for the Winter Holidays. Did his mother truly only want him back for legitimate reasons? Or was Lucius Malfoy waiting back at the manor, Death Eaters in tow, in hopes of snatching their newest recruit? Had he escaped, unharmed? Had the caught him and forced him to join? Had they even needed to force him?

No. She told herself. He would fight back, that much was certain. But not for the first time she wondered if that was necessarily a good thing. How would the Dark Lord react to the rejection of the son of his most loyal of followers? Was Draco strong enough to hold out? Would his holding out get him killed?

Have I driven him to his death sentence? She wondered once in the confinements of her room, letting the tears she'd been holding back fall freely. She pulled out the diary, but no matter how much she wrote, it no longer provided the comfort she needed. For the first time in a long time, Hermione doubted herself.

Was I wrong to push him so far? Was I wrong to seek the good in him? She struggled with the feeling that the person Draco had become, partly due to her interferences, would inevitably stand up to the Dark Lord and, before the army of Death Eaters, was doomed to perish.

"Will he ever be able to forgive me?" She asked the empty expanse around her, though the real question lay unspoken:

If he dies, will I ever be able to forgive myself?

Author's Note:

I know, it's short. But the next short chapie is finished and the traumatic dark reencounter is nearly 75 done and definitely worth the wait, if I do say so myself. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews since they are definitely making this entire experience more enjoyable. Until the next chapter, keep reading and reviewing and I'll try my best not to let you down!