Chapter 9: My Own World

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I really enjoyed reading them! In any case, just so that you know, this chapter's going to be rather short because it's in Hitsugaya's point of view. Personally this is one of my favourite chapters, but I think it's also a bit too dramatic…enough said. Enjoy reading!


My world is lonely and dark. When there was light, it simply happened to be an illusion. This world of mine is my refuge and my prison. My body won't move when I tell it to but I am still alive; I've heard the doctors confirm it. Is this a coma? If so, it feels like a living hell.

The only time I forget my troubles is when my students visit me, especially Hinamori Momo. I feel joy and pain when I hear her voice. Joy because she still remembers me and pain for being selfish and attending my contest instead of her birthday party. I wonder if my present ever got to Hinamori in the end…

Recently, however, Matsumoto has been visiting me the most. What has happened to Hinamori? Don't be so self-centred, Toushirou, I tell myself. Hinamori's probably busy. She has her own life to lead. But even then, I can't help feeling disappointed. Has Hinamori forgotten me so soon?

The nurses tend to me everyday. They giggle girlishly at me, and I am disgusted. Almost all of the nurses think I fancy them, but why should I? I've never seen them, let alone met them. All they do is whisper little nothings to me. The only nurse I favour is one called Yumi Kobayashi. From the way she treats me and what she says, I've concluded that she is a level-headed woman who doesn't daydream like the others do. Nurse Kobayashi treats me like an equal where others think I'm a child who just wants to be loved. The music they play here is extremely noisy and always put on at the wrong times, when I want to sleep. The piano pieces and classicals they occasionally play are soothing, but I'd give anything to hear a real piano played, not recorded on a CD, just played live. When will I ever touch those beautiful, smooth keys, hear those perfect, genuine notes again? Nobody knows.

Suddenly I hear the door opening. Who is it? My hopes rise, but sink again. My visitor is Matsumoto.

"Hello again, Hitsugaya-sensei," my student greets me, and I know her heart is heavy. "A girl called Hinamori Momo claims to be your student. Do you know her? She seemed innocent and trustworthy, so she cleans your house now."

"Matsumoto, you lazy baka," I scold my pupil mentally before listening to her rant on.

"I'm so sorry about stealing your keys, but it was just a silly joke, I wouldn't have done anything of the sort if I'd known what was going to happen to you. The others-you know, Yachiru, Yumichika, Nanao, they're all too busy, so I try to keep you company in their stead."

Although Matsumoto was being nice, I felt like strangling her! So that was where my keys had gone…

Matsumoto, you'll regret the day you told me that. I made a mental note to beat my pupil up and put it on my 'things to do when I wake up' list, which was getting longer and longer.

"Matsumoto-san?" my heart skipped a beat at the person who had spoken. It was Hinamori. She sounded happier, and because of that, I was happy. "Ano, can I speak to Shirou-chan for a moment?"

Don't call me Shirou-chan! I mentally gritted my teeth in fury. Bedwetter Momo!

"You're on intimate terms with Hitsugaya-sensei?" my orange-haired student laughed, and I felt my vein pulsing. She should know what I wanted!

"Okay, I'll leave you two then. Ja ne, Hitsugaya-sensei!" well, in a way, she did know.

I hear Hinamori's footsteps as she approaches my bed. "Shirou-chan, when I cleaned your house, I found a present to me from you. I just wanted to say thank you, it's so cute. Tobiume is with me now, even as I speak. I'm sorry for being selfish when we had our last argument; I should've known how important the competition was to you. But let's move on to school now."

Baka, I think angrily. Why are you apologising? You didn't do anything wrong.

"Aizen-sensei is so nice, you know. He even offered me those extra history lessons again! He also said I'd gotten better at history, Shirou-chan, so that means you're a good teacher after all!" I would have frowned and clenched my fists if I weren't in a coma. What was that mongrel doing to Hinamori now? At this point, I feel like pleading. Don't trust Aizen-sensei, Hinamori! Even trusting the boy who liked you, Daisuke, is better…

"Oh yeah, and before I forget…everyone's talking about an end-of-year-exams prom! Although there's no one I fancy at school…wake up, Shirou-chan, or else I'll have to go with someone else!" Hinamori joked nervously before turning solemn. I could see her sad, brown eyes and my insides tore.

"Please wake up, she whispered, touching my cheek and stroking my hair. "I've been practicing piano everyday since your accident, and even when Tobiume keeps me company at night, I can't help feeling lonely without you."

My heart was at the point of breaking. I wanted to tell Hinamori that everything would be alright, that I would wake up and take her to that cursed prom, even if my heart was set against it. But I couldn't. I felt like the helpless eleven year old I had been before-I could only watch as my loved ones slowly slipped away from me, disappearing one by one until I was left in my own world, whirling round and round until I had even forgotten who I was…


A/N: Thanks for reading! Please click that little button on the lower left of the page and review! Although I won't change anything, please report any mistakes I might have made!

Japanese Dictionary:

Sensei: Teacher (e.g. Hitsugaya-sensei literally 'Teacher Hitsugaya')

Baka: Idiot

-chan, -san, -kun: -chan is addressed to girls or kids around the same age as the speaker, and –kun is the same, but for boys (or kids). –san is the polite form for both genders and all ages.

Ano: Um

Shirou-chan: Hinamori's nickname for Hitsugaya. Although 'shirou' means 'white', 'Whitey-chan' would be more accurate in this case.

Ja ne: Goodbye