Author's Note: Yeah, it is stupid...ohhhhhhhh well.
The Ridiculously Stupid & Offensive Degrassi Parody
chapter two - the mall
Hazel was bored. She felt like going shopping. Heck, she always felt like going shopping. She picked up the phone, calling Paige. The phone rang about a million times before she gave up. Figures, Paige was probably busy with her new best bud and not to mention girlfriend, Alex.
Hazel sighed. Maybe Paige had finally figured out she had no personality! That had to be it. Alex was just terribly rude and she had nothing in common with Paige. She didn't even want to think about the things they did together. Hazel gagged.
She thought about who to call, and finally chose Marco. He was gay, so he wouldn't mind going shopping with her! Hazel called his number, and then got him to agree to go with her to the mall.
On the ride there they listened to some crappy popular music, blasted as loud as it would go on Hazel's stereo. They pulled into the parking lot and went inside.
Hazel went straight for the make up section, and Marco rolled his eyes as she tried on various shades of lipstick, buying several of them. Finally he dragged her into the men's section, much to her disdain. She looked around in discontent. Marco picked out a few things and headed into the dressing room, leaving Hazel to fend for herself.
"Does this make me look fat?" Marco asked, stepping out of the dressing room. Hazel stared at him in disbelief. It didn't make him look fat, but it made him look stupid. She had never met a gay guy that was so unfashionable!
He wore bandannas on his head all the time, had the weird fuzz going on under his lower lip, and his taste in fashion was horrible. He had no sense of what looked good.
"No. But your fashion taste sucks." Hazel answered, looking at his bright green and neon orange shirt. She couldn't believe he was trying this on.
"What are you TALKING about? This shirt is hot." Marco argued, gazing into the mirror. He smiled, winking at himself.
"Ugh, take that off." Hazel shoved him back into the dressing room and closed the door, going back into the girls' section of the store. Marco met her there a few minutes later, acting as huffy and pouty as he could.
"See that girl?" Hazel said loudly, pointing to a girl a few racks away. "She's a big slut. I mean seriously, she's like a thousand times WORSE than Manny. Ugh, gross." The girl turned around, looking at Hazel. She obviously had heard her, as Hazel was incredibly rude and decided to talk as loud as possible. Marco swallowed roughly, knowing something bad was about to happen.
"Got something to say to me?" The girl asked, stepping towards them.
"No." Hazel squeaked. The girl came closer, and Hazel pushed Marco in front of her before running off. She ran out the door and to her car, not stopping until she was driving away.
"God, she has a big mouth." The girl said to Marco, helping him up off the floor. He stood, nodding as he did so.
"Not only that, but she has no real personality. I'm sorry she was so rude to you." Marco apologized with a grin.
"What's your name?" The girl questioned suddenly, grin forming on her face as well.
"I'm gay." He answered automatically. She laughed, eyes sparkling "Me too."
"Man, everyone is these days, huh?" Marco replied.
