Author's Note: WOW! I didn't think this story would be popular, at all. It seems like chapter four is the favorite? Because making fun of emo kids never gets old.. Anyway...Palex chapter due to a request. Peter is featured in this chapter, as well as Hazel--briefly. Also, should I delete chapter 3? It wasn't that popular.
The Ridiculously Stupid & Offensive Degrassi Parody
chapter five - the lesbians
Paige and Alex were on a lunch date at the Dot. Paige had suggested it, and though Alex hated how cutesy a "lunch date" sounded, she agreed. Any time with Paige was a good time. They ordered their food and then started to talk.
"I promise to act nice for once. I won't be a bitch like always and make you feel like shit. You don't deserve that." Paige said with a smile, taking Alex's hand in hers. It was true. It seemed Paige always treated Alex like she was better than her. Though they were dating, she still treated her that way. All of their fights had to do with the stupidest things, and Paige was the one who started it. Always.
"Good." Alex leaned forward, giving Paige a quick kiss on the lips. Things with Paige were different than with anyone else. She changed completely when she was around the bubbly blonde. She turned to emotional goo with giant puppy dog eyes and all she wanted was to be with Paige. It had happened on more than one occasion. Paige saw through all of her humor, the humor she used to hide her emotions, and Alex didn't know what else to do. So she was helpless.
It was better that way. Alex acted the role of the man in the relationship. Paige was always grouchy and yelled constantly, like she was permanently PMSing. Alex made sure to have plenty of Midol with her at all times. Alex did everything to get out of a fight. She avoided it completely, just nodded until Paige was happy. It worked a lot of the time, and Paige was satisfied.
"Girl on girl action is very popular in cinema these days." Peter seemed to pop out of nowhere. He took a seat at the table though his kind was very, very unwelcome. "And I would be willing to bet a pretty penny you could be making loads of money if you struck a deal with me. Maybe sometime we could make our own little tape. It would be HOT, and I guarantee you'd sell millions of copies. So what do you say?"
"Are you kidding me?" Alex asked, laughing.
"Yeah. Right." Paige rolled her eyes, gazing at Alex. "I can't believe he would ever think I would do something like that!" She turned her attention back to Peter, who looked confused. "I'm not like Manny Santos. Get over it."
"No, you're not like Manny. You're better." Peter's smile grew, as did his giant spikey hair. "A two for one deal. Come on. You guys are hot. Sell it. You'll be the next tatu."
"They weren't really lesbians. They had boyfriends. And they didn't make a sex tape, you perverted freak. They were singers." Alex stood, getting fed up with the pasty blonde boy.
"Threesome?" He questioned, as a last resort.
"Over my dead body." Paige answered, glaring at him in disgust.
"Why don't you call up Emma? I'm sure she wouldn't mind making a nice sex tape for you. Hell, Manny's such a slut maybe you can get THEM to participate in some girl on girl action. Whatever, I don't care. Just leave us alone. You're pathetic." Alex spat, pushing him out the door. She saw his eyes light up, and knew she'd sparked something in his perverted little mind. Leave that for Emma and Manny to deal with.
"Ugh. Him and Jay should become best buddies!" Paige suggested, taking a drink of her Pepsi. Alex nodded, sitting back down.
"They're a lot alike. I'm surprised they haven't yet. Who knows, maybe Peter really will hit it big sometime. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up in the porn industry." She replied. "But only behind the camera. No one wants to see THAT." Alex gagged.
"He was right about one thing. We ARE hot." Paige admitted, kissing Alex deeply. Alex closed her eyes, letting her arms fall to Paige's hips. The waiter came back to the table, his face turning various shades of red when he saw the girls kissing. He sat down the plates and scurried away, leaving Palex in a fit of giggles.
"Paige?" Hazel walked into the Dot, looking horrified when she saw her best friend with Alex. They were always together now.
"Hi." Paige greeted boredly, not even bothering to look up.
"AM I THAT BORING?" Hazel asked hysterically.
"YES!" came the reply from the rest of the people in the restaurant. Hazel left the dot, tears streaming down her face.
