Author's Note: We all love Ellie. Well, I make fun of her in this chapter. Not just her though, also at us fanfiction writers, The-N, Ashley, and Peter (again).Oh what fun.
The Ridiculously Stupid & Offensive Degrassi Parody
chapter seven - the crazyness
Ellie sighed, crossing her arms and pouting. Ashley gazed at her for a moment, concern evident on her face. She took a seat beside of her friend.
"Ellie, what's wrong?" Ashley asked gently.
"My life sucks. The writers must hate me or something. First Marco being gay, then Sean leaving, everything with my dadgoing away and my mom becoming an alcoholic.And now Craig. Er. Not that I like Craig or anything." Ellie stammered, blushing deeply. It was against the best friend rules to like your best friend's ex. Then again, Degrassi has no rules. It GOES there.
"Well, maybe the writers do hate you but the fans don't. Ever since you started cutting, your likeability has went up over 40 percent. Good to know that if you want to be liked, all you need to do is try a little self mutilation." Ashley frowned. Her fan base was slipping, and she knew it. A lot of girls were very protective over Craig and that often led to them hating her. She didn't mind it all that much, because it gave her a reason to become even whinier than usual.
"Have you noticed the crazy fanfiction writers? They seem to like making me gay. It's irritating." Ellie pointed out, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, it's not that bad is it? I mean, at least you get paired with attractive people. You've never had to deal with being put with Spinner or anything." Ashley shuddered at the thought, and Ellie nodded in agreement.
"But Paige? It's scary though...there are some freaky hardcore Pellie shippers." Ellie said quietly, making sure that the Pellie fans didn't hear her.
"Pellie fans aren't as frightening as Palex ones. Palex shippers are psychotic. They'll rip out your throat if you say anything against Palex. I swear, I'm surprised some of the writers haven't come up missing since High Fidelity." Ashley bit her lip, looking around her as she said this. She didn't want the Palex fans to jump on her. Suddenly, a herd of twenty or so fangirls all jumped on top of Ashley, ripping out her hair and hitting her as hard as they could. When it was all over, Ashley could barely stand.
"I rest my case."
"I wish I'd get a better storyline. One that's less emo." Ellie sighed once again, not fazed at all by the crazy lesbian attack.
"Emo is just another word for intense. Though at this point, I think the fans would watch anything. After all, they do endure endless hours of pointless TMI commercials and crappy music videos just to watch us! Their poor brains are melting, and they don't even know it." Ashley reasoned.
Ellie shrugged. She had her there. The-N's commercials were perhaps the weirdest she had ever seen. The advertisment for Whistler had driven her insane for months, and then when the premiere finally came, she could barely stay awake for the first five minutes of the show. The-N had a way of over-advertising.
"True. I just hope next season is better for me. Or I might just have to start cutting again." Ellie's eye twitched in indifference. Ashley laughed.
"Ellie, you're always starving for attention."
"What can I say? I'm a leo. But I'm not HALF as bad as you. You cut off your hair and go all 'gothic', what was the point of that? Attention, my friend. You are an attention whore, not to mention the hugest poser I've ever met." Ellie admitted, not looking at Ashley when she says this. Ashley sits back down, defeated. Her friend was right.
"Attention whore is my phrase. I copyrighted it after I called Manny one. So I think you owe me five dollars." Peter appeared out of thin air, approaching Ellie huffily. Ellie handed him a crumpled five dollar bill, pushing him away.
"Whatever, just get out of here."
Peter screeched, turning into a giant bat and flying away. Both of the girls watched him, and then turned away, shrugging. Nothing too out of the ordinary...
