Chapter Three
Farewell

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- Carol Sobieski & Thomas Meehan, Annie

Munch and Fin looked questioningly at the captain and Elliot as they came from the office into the squad room. Olivia continued to stare ahead at nothing. Her eyes were already bright with unshed tears.

Don cleared his throat and said, "I guess you have already figured out that Elliot has an announcement to make. I want you to know that, while I am not happy about how his decision affects me personally, he has my complete support, and I hope he will get the same from each of you."

The room was quiet for a moment, and then Don turned to his former detective and said, "Elliot?"

Elliot stepped forward and took a deep breath. He was surprised to realize that his legs were shaking. When he spoke, it was a struggle to keep his voice firm and even.

Glancing at the packing carton on his desk, he said, "I suppose you have already figured out that I'm through here."

"What?"

"Why?"

Despite the obvious nature of the statement, both Munch and Fin exclaimed in surprise. Elliot ignored their questions, knowing that what he had to say would answer them.

"I know it seems like a sudden decision, but I think you know enough about my life to realize that it's been a good three or four years in coming."

He looked at each of them in turn and wished that Olivia would meet his gaze.

"I am a lucky man, a better man, for having known each of you, and I will always treasure our friendship. I plan to keep in touch, and I hope, if you're ever in Elmhurst, that you'll drop by. My door is always open to you guys."

The stunned silence still echoed in his ears. He offered Cragen his hand first, out of respect.

"Cap. I'll see you around."

Don shook his hand, squeezed firmly, and cupped his elbow with his left hand. His affection for the departing detective was obvious in the gesture. "It's been a pleasure, Elliot. Take care."

Munch was closest, so he turned to him next. "John, it was great working with you, conspiracy theories and all. Don't be a stranger, at least not any stranger than you already are."

Munch shook his hand warmly. "Very damned funny, Stabler. So, what's next?"

"Well, from here, I'm going to my mother-in-law's house to help Kathy and the kids pack. They're coming home. After that, who knows?"

As his face crinkled into a grin of pleasure for his friend, the tears finally squeezed from John's eyes. "That's good news," he said. "Damn, that's good news. Good for you."

Nodding, Elliot could only say, "Thanks."

Turning again, he extended his hand and said, "Fin."

Fin looked at his hand in disdain. "The hell with that!" he said and surprised them all by pulling Elliot into a bear hug.

"You're doing the right thing," he whispered into his friend's ear. "I wish I had been smart enough to quit when my kid was still a kid. You'll never regret it."

Elliot was so stunned and so deeply moved by the other detective's admission that he had to take a moment and just breathe before he could speak. Finally, he stepped back but maintained the contact with a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"Thanks, man. That means a lot coming from you."

Fin just nodded, and then he had to look away.

Finally, he moved between the desks and came to stand beside Olivia. She was still rocking in her seat and looking ahead at nothing.

"Li . . ." His voice fractured and he had to clear his throat and start again. "Olivia?"

She finally faced him with tears streaming down her cheeks, and her shattered look almost broke him. Surging to her feet, she threw herself into his arms and sobbed against his chest, "Don't go. Please don't go. Oh, God, Elliot, please, don't leave me. Don't go."

He held her and rocked her, shushing her softly. "Hey, it's ok," he whispered. "We talked about this last night, remember? I'm not leaving you. You're my best friend. I'd never leave you. I just have to leave the job. Liv, it's all right. It's all right."

The other men watched sympathetically while he kept up his soothing prattle for several minutes. Eventually, she calmed down and caught her breath, but she couldn't stop crying completely.

"I'm sorry," she hiccoughed. "I'm sorry. It's just . . ."

She couldn't finish her thought, but he understood what she was feeling. Pulling her into his arms again, he said compassionately, "I know. I know. Those time when you were reassigned, I thought I was gonna die, but it will get easier. Just give it time, and give the new guy a chance, ok? Like we talked about, right?"

She sniffled loudly and nodded moving out of his embrace. Laughing through her tears, she finally said, "I'm so embarrassed. I didn't want to make a scene."

He gave her one of his little lopsided grins and said, "Why not? I'd be hurt if you didn't."

She laughed again. "Come here, you!" She threw her arms around him once more and whispered for only him to here. "I love you."

"Love you, too," he whispered back.

They had been so close for the nine years they'd been working together that those six words could have set tongues wagging all over the precinct, but the two of them and those closest to them knew it was an expression of deep and abiding friendship, no more, no less.

She brushed away her tears and smiled, saying, "Get out of here. Go get your wife and kids."

As badly as she was hurting, she was genuinely happy for him and she wanted him to know it.

He placed his hands on either side of her face and leaned toward her to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Liv, for everything."

"You're welcome," she said, her voice husky with barely restrained emotions. "Now go!"

He nodded, and moved around the desk to pick up his box. Looking at each of them affectionately, he cleared his throat and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you around."

As they watched their friend leave, none of them could deny that there was a spring in his step that hadn't been there for years.