The Doctor knew from the moment he met Rose Tyler that this one was going to be different. He'd held out for as long as he could, desperately trying not to fall in love with someone so fragile, so temporary. He'd failed miserably. He'd failed long before The Game Station. He'd loved Rose Tyler since he was all big ears and leather, and he loved her in that moment, when he was all spiked hair and manic energy. He knew it could only end in pain, could only end with him cradling her corpse in his arms. He'd die alongside her. Maybe not literally, too many people needed his help, but he knew the moment Rose Tyler no longer held his hand he would be dead inside. He might continue to run- and boy would he be running, from the memories, from the pain- but he would never truly be whole again.
So as he hung there, screams tearing from his throat as he watched the only brightness in his dark and lonely life plummet to an eternity of nothing, he felt something snap. He didn't know quite what it was at the time. Maybe it was his sanity, or any remaining mercy he still carried in those old bones, or maybe it was that fire in him- the fire that drove him to explore and save and discover, the flame that made him, him- but it disappeared. His arm was stretched out uselessly, as if he could still grab her round the waist, as he'd done so many times before, and tuck her under his arm safely.
It was as if he was watching everything occur from outside himself, horror wrenching him from his helpless body. Everything seemed to be moving incredibly slowly and yet too quickly at the same time. Were his hearts still beating or had they given out under the crushing weight of his terror? Maybe this was just another nightmare. He did dream about losing Rose often. Please let this just be another nightmare.
He knew it wasn't. This was real. The bravest, kindest, cleverest person, the one who cradled his hearts so tenderly in her little hands, was being torn from him viscously, cruelly. He could hear her screaming his name, as he was her's, and the sound of it was tearing him apart. He couldn't help her. There would be no last minute save, no quickly thought up plan. There was no saving her, or him, this time. She was leaving him, and taking his very being with her.
He'd resigned himself to lifetimes of misery, to centuries of forcing himself to keep going, keep moving, of desperately trying to outrun the memory of his pink and yellow human, when it all stopped. For a moment he thought it was over, that he'd lost her to the sealed off void, but that's when he heard it. A melodic and otherworldly sound that was oh so familiar and brought up feelings of intense horror, but also awe, and love. He'd only heard it once before, on a day that had ripped open old wounds (they hadn't been so old then) and resulted in the deaths of so many. But it was also the day he realised just how much this precious human woman loved him.
When the TARDIS doors had swung open and Rose had stepped out, looking beautiful and ethereal bathed in gold, this very sound had wrapped around him comfortingly, as if trying to reassure him that everything would be okay. The song of the TARDIS. Her very soul made audible.
Finally, he realised that he hadn't hit the ground painfully as he would have if the vortex had simply closed. No, he was hovering strangely in place, debris stopped midair. His eyes fell on Rose, who was now once more immersed in that light. It seemed to emanate from every pore, filling the stark room in its warm glow, eyes once hazel now consumed with it.
She was no longer falling, instead standing upright with glowing eyes fixed on him as he managed to drop to his feet and rush towards her. "Rose?"
"No." Her voice was three dimensional, echoing throughout the room and, impossibly, his mind.
"Bad Wolf." It wasn't a question, but she confirmed it anyway.
She nodded once, stiffly, her eyes never leaving him. "Yes." And once again that all consuming fear was back, raging and burning through him. This was bad. This was very bad. Maybe not as bad as her being subjected to an eternity of nothingness, but still oh so very, very bad.
"That's impossible, I took you out of her. I removed the Time Vortex from her mind!"
"You do not have the power to tear me from my place, Time Lord."
"Your place?"
"I opened Rose Tyler, just as she did your TARDIS, and joined with her. Did you really think you could remove me so easily?"
"But why?" He'd started to pace nervously, hands shoved deep into his pockets. He knew that he should be thankful that Bad Wolf had stopped Rose's fall, but she was human, and this power would burn through her mind. He was still going to lose her. "Why would you do this to her? She's human! You're killing her!"
"Do not shout at me. You may be a Time Lord, but I. Am. Time. You do not control me, no matter your title."
"You're killing her!"
"No, I am not. I have always been here and I always will be. We are one." The Doctor fisted his hands in his hair, frustration and fear thick in his voice.
"What does that mean? How are you one? Why didn't I detect you sooner? I've run plenty of scans on Rose since then."
"I was not ready to be found. Listen well, for I have much to tell you. Rose Tyler saw this moment coming. She saw all of what was, what is, and what could be. She saw herself being trapped in Pete's World. She saw that you would both be lost without each other, living, but not truly whole." She began pacing, her movements incredibly reminiscent of that of a wolf. "I am Time, but I am also Rose Tyler. Not only that, but I contain the heart of your beloved ship, who loves you just as you love her. I am the two women who love you so fiercely. Did you really think we could see what would happen, and do nothing?"
The Doctor pulled his hands from his hair, worried that if he didn't it would start coming out, and stared at Rose- at Bad Wolf- in amazement. "So let me get this straight. You're Rose, and Time, and the TARDIS? How is that even possible?" It wasn't often that he didn't understand something.
"We are one, and therefore something new. The loss of Rose would have destroyed you. Your beloveds saw what would become of you and the human if you lost one another, and as one we decided to fix it. The Bad Wolf was never gone, simply hibernating till she was needed."
"So you lot saw this coming, and fixed it. Why did Rose never tell me?"
"She did not remember, it had to be this way. She loves you, Time Lord, and never would have kept such a thing from you." The alien winced at those words being spoken out loud. He'd felt what it was like to lose her today, he wouldn't be able to go through it again. "Stop." Bad Wolf boomed, shocking the Doctor from his thoughts. "I know what you are thinking. You now know of our capabilities, our power, and still you doubt?"
"Doubt? There's nothing to doubt, she's human, and I will be forced to watch her grow old and die." He choked on that last word, pain crashing over him as if it had already happened.
"We have pulled the strings of Time, you will not be without."
"Stop speaking in riddles," the Doctor snapped, "and just tell me what you mean."
"Rose Tyler is no longer truly human. She is more. On the day we joined and she saw this horrid moment, she tied herself to you, in every way possible. You will never be without one another." He couldn't help the hope bursting forth anymore, and he knew that it showed on his face. He grinned brightly, a grin he only ever gave Rose, and bounced on his toes, until it hit him. What if Rose didn't want this? Sure, she'd done this to herself , but she'd also changed Jack without meaning to. And even if this was what she'd wanted then, what about now? What about a hundred years from now? What if she began to blame him, however unintentionally?
"Rose knew her own mind, and what her actions would result in. Look inward, Time Lord, and you will see." Curiously, the Doctor closed his eyes and the sight before him took his breath away. There, stretched for as far as he could see, was his timeline, but it was different. Rather than just the solitary blue-gold he usually saw, it was intertwined with Rose's. Her usually pink timeline now held gold of it's own as it twisted tightly and intimately with his, stretching out for what seemed like eternity. He was briefly brought back to an evening on a cliff side where Rose had promised him forever, and how the word had seemed to reverberate so strongly with truth that he'd been tempted to look and see just long their path's coincided, before brushing off that hope, and fear, and simply grinning back at her.
Now their paths no longer just coincided, they were one, and it took his breath away. "And this is what she wants? Truly?"
"Yes, it is. Now take my hand, Doctor, our Doctor, and let us take you home." It hadn't escaped the Doctor's notice how Bad Wolf's pronouns changed as she spoke, switching from singular to plural, and he couldn't help but wonder what it meant. Were they always one? Or did one of them occasionally take control? Rose had definitely been the primary consciousness on the Game Station, but now it seemed that Time itself was in the captain's chair. Curious. He brushed that train of thought aside for another time, and reached out to take the hand that always fit so well in his. She was his matching puzzle piece.
As soon as his fingers interlocked with her's, a rushing sound filled his ears, outmatched only by that familiar melody, and a gold light completely obscured his vision making it so the only thing visible was Rose herself. It wasn't a very comfortable way to travel, better than by vortex manipulator mind you, but still, it was as if he'd been picked up and flung through the vortex all while somehow never moving. He remained perfectly still, as did Rose, and yet it still felt as if he was tumbling- seemingly twisting and pulling and falling. It was the oddest feeling he'd ever experienced, besides regeneration itself.
And then, not even a minute later, they were outside the Powell Estate rather than Torchwood, the Tardis somehow ten feet away. The singing faded, and the light disappeared as if it was never there, a few tendrils still clinging to Rose's skin before seeming to be absorbed as her eyes rolled back into her head, and she fell limp. The Doctor was quick to catch her, scooping her up into his arms as he strode over to the Tardis. He fumbled to unlock it clumsily with one hand and flung the doors open. He cast one sad look back at Rose's childhood home, peering morosely at the window he knew Jackie used to stare out of hopefully as she waited for the wheezing sound of the Tardis. The loud blonde he'd come to consider family would never rush around that old flat ever again. She'd never jabber on and on over the phone, or bustle around in the kitchen making tea. He smiled at the memory of her shooing him inside for Christmas poppers and the sight of Rose in that pink crown. Their family had gotten a lot smaller without Mickey and Jackie, but they still had each other. Forever.
Rose came to on the bed in the medbay with a massive headache. "Doctor?" She rubbed her temple slowly as she sat up, finally managing to pry her eyes open. She found the Time Lord asleep in a rather uncomfortable looking chair next to her bed and she smiled. It was rare for the Doctor to sleep, so their last adventure must have really worn him out. That thought caused it all to come rushing back. The ghosts, the void ship, the Daleks and the Cybermen, her mother going to Pete's World, and finally, her falling into the Void. But she wasn't in the Void, she was in the Tardis with the Doctor. What had happened? She leapt to her feet, frantic to get some answers after the horrible day she'd just had, only to collapse with a thud as soon as her feet touched the ground.
The sound woke the Doctor from his, surprisingly, dreamless sleep, and when he took in the sight of Rose crumpled on the floor he scrambled up and rushed to her side, dropping onto his knees beside her. "Rose! Are you alright?!"
She groaned as he helped her sit up, his hands cradling her elbows gently. "'M head, 's killing me."
"That doesn't surprise me after all that happened."
"What did happen, Doctor? Last thing I remember is losing my grip."
"Let's get you back up on the bed and get some scans running and then I'll tell you everything, okay?"
Her brow raised as he helped her get on the bed, her voice sceptical as she asked, "You held off on running scans till I woke up?" That didn't seem like him, protective as he was.
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and ducked his head. "Well," he dragged the syllables in that way that always made her smile, "I ran a few, just to make sure you weren't seriously hurt or anything."
She beamed at him, her tongue between her teeth, amused at his words and happy that her head was already beginning to feel better from the pills he'd handed her moments ago. "That sounds about right. Alrigh' then, go on. What happened after I slipped?" He turned from her and bent over the counter, muscles tensed as he fiddled with the monitor.
"Remember Bad Wolf?"
"The words I used to tell myself I could get back to you on Game Station? What 'bout em?"
"Well, it's a tad more than that. Bad Wolf is how you referred to yourself when you held the time vortex within you. I thought I'd gotten it all out on the Game Station, but I guess not." He took a deep breath before spinning back around, leaning against the counter and folding his arms in an attempt to look calmer than he felt. Rose saw right through it.
"Okay, but what does that have to do with today?"
"Bad Wolf is apparently the combined form of you, the Tardis, and Time itself. It saved us today. Stopped time and transported us, and the Tardis, out of there. But, it also told me something, Rose. Something really important."
"Wait, wait. So Bad Wolf took over my body and saved us?"
"Yes."
"Why hasn't it done that before? Like on Krop Tor?"
"Well, if it had gotten us off Krop Tor, the "Devil" would have escaped and I would have done all I could to get it out of you, therefore making it impossible for it to save us today. You would have ended up trapped in the Void or, if we somehow got really lucky, Pete's World." He saw her take a shaky breath at the thought, and moved to sit beside her, taking her hand in his. "But there's more, Rose." She nodded at him to continue, and now it was his turn to take a shaky breath. He was so afraid she'd react badly to this, that she would hate him. "On Game Station, you did more than save me. You made it to where you'd never leave me."
"What?"
"You tied your timeline to mine, essentially making us a fixed point throughout time. You're not going to age, Rose. You'll look twenty two forever. You're going to live as long as I will." She was looking at him, but her thoughts were elsewhere, frantically trying to process this information.
"I'm not going to wither and die?" He gave her a small, sad, smile at her use of his words, and shook his head, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Her mind was racing. She knew that he was probably waiting for her to break down or freak out, but rather she was so incredibly happy. She loved him, and now she could truly give him forever. If that's what he wanted. Her happiness faded at that thought and she took a steadying breath. They needed to clear the air about this right now, so she wasn't worrying whether she was going to be spending forever alone all while trying to mourn the loss of her mum. "I really can give you forever." Her grin was blinding, and that certainly wasn't how the Doctor had expected her to respond. "If you want it." The insecurity in her voice blew him away. This amazing, beautiful woman was offering him forever, and she thought he wouldn't want it?
His beaming grin was brighter than hers as he took her other hand into his, squeezing them both tightly as he leaned closer to her. "There's nothing I want more." His answer took her breath away, his smile disarming her and scattering her train of thought for a few moments. Finally, she collected herself and leaned closer to him. It was now or never.
"I love you." His breath caught and his hands tightened over her's almost painfully as he stared at her for a few terrifying minutes, Rose quickly began to wonder if she'd gone too far, had she scared him off? Before he had made it seem like he couldn't be more than her friend because of her life span, but maybe he was just saying that because he was trying to let her down easy. Oh god, she'd made a fool out of herself.
Just as she was beginning to truly spiral and thoughts of escaping to her room and never leaving were starting to take root, the Doctor crashed his lips to hers in a kiss that took her breath away. She'd never been kissed like this, not by Mickey, and certainly not by Jimmy Stone. His tongue traced along the seam of her lips, and they parted enthusiastically, her fingers flying up to knot in his hair. His tongue darted between her teeth and smoothed along her own before he pulled back, just enough to be able to look in her eyes as he spoke. "Rose Tyler, I love you."
To keep herself from sobbing at hearing the words she'd been longing for him to say for ages, she crashed their lips together once more, mentally thanking herself, or rather Bad Wolf, for making this possible, and then the Doctor, for showing her what living truly was.
Rose sighed as she pulled her jumper (a different one from yesterday as the Doctor had tossed that one into an incinerator the TARDIS apparently had and claimed he never wanted to see one like it again) over her head, fingers scrambling to readjust her cami underneath. She tucked her blonde hair behind her ears and slipped on some trainers, sliding out the door and going to join the Doctor in the kitchen. He shot her a wide grin, hair sticking out at weird angles and his tie looser than she'd ever seen it. She giggled and reached up to card her hand through his hair as she strolled by to make her morning cuppa.
"You're awfully relaxed this mornin', Doctor. Any particular reason?" His smile dimmed and his weight shifted nervously.
"I know you lost your mum, Rose," she tensed at the reminder, "and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that-
"'S not your fault!" She began vehemently, turning to face him, but he simply raised a hand to stop her.
"That's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is that, despite the fact we both lost a member of our family yesterday", she couldn't help but smile at him referring to Jackie Tyler of all people as a member of his family, "I've never felt so relieved." And just like that the smile was gone and her brows became furrowed angrily, her mouth opening to give him the lashing of a lifetime before he managed to barrel ahead, desperately attempting to clarify before he was on the opposite end of a Tyler slap. "I'm so relieved that I never have to watch you grow old without me, that I get to keep you here and love you openly the way I've wanted to for so long, selfish as that is."
Rose's mouth snapped shut and she turned to pour the whistling kettle over her tea bag, contemplating her next words carefully. Finally, she turned to face him, hands cradling the warm mug for comfort while the Doctor watched her anxiously, eyes flitting over her face for a clue to how she was going to react. "I'm relieved too, Doctor. I'm relieved I never have to break my promise of forever. That I get to be the hand you hold when things get tough. And of course I'm going to miss my mum, and I'm sure once it truly settles in that 'm never gonna see her again I'm gonna cry till I physically can't anymore. But, Doctor, 's not your fault. It was my choice. And 's not selfish of you to be relieved that you're never going to experience something that you've been dreading. Sometimes we have to learn to take the good with the bad without letting one outweigh the other. Both are important. Both shape who we are."
The love shining in the Doctor's eyes and smile caused Rose to blush, ducking her head shyly at his rare display of such an intimate emotion. "You're brilliant, Rose. Just absolutely brilliant."
"'M really not though. 'M just a shopgirl. You're the brilliant one, with your big alien brain." Her smile was teasing, but not tongue touched, as she put herself down.
"Don't be ridiculous, Rose!" The Time Lord leapt from his seat and rushed over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You're clever, more than clever. I knew it from that moment in the elevator at Henrik's."
She snorted and placed her mug on a nearby counter. "Please, Doctor. I know I'm just a chav off the estates."
"Rose, do you remember what I told Adam when we dropped him back at home?" The blonde sighed and rolled her eyes before, mumbling.
"You only take the best."
"That's right, and that includes you. You've got to stop selling yourself short. You're amazing, Rose. Don't ever think otherwise."
A bright smile took over her face, tongue touched and toothy as she threw her arms around his neck. "I love you, Doctor, and I love this life we have."
His own smile almost rivaled her's in brightness as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in tight, burying his face in her shoulder length blonde hair. "I love you too, Rose. You were right- it's better with two."
She pulled away slightly to press a kiss to the side of his head. "Doctor, is there, maybe um,- is there possibly any way that I, um, could say goodbye? To my mum, I mean." She held her breath as she waited for him to respond, half terrified he'd go right back to thinking she regretted her choice and half terrified he'd say no.
The alien sighed and pulled away, scrubbing his hands over his face. "There's a small chance that there's still a tee tiny little crack left between the universes, but the probability of that is-"
"But can we at least try?" She'd placed a hand on his cheek and stroked it gently with her thumb. "Can't we set the TARDIS to look for a crack? She can search for one while we go and clean out the flat."
"Of course she can search for one, but Rose, are you sure you're ready to go back to the flat? You have all the time in the universe, there's no rush."
"If I don't do it now then it'll always be in the back of my mind. I jus' wanna get this whole thing over with."
"Okay. Okay, we'll clean out the flat while the TARDIS searches for any cracks we can send a message through, if you're sure."
She nodded and gave him a tongue touched smile, tucking her hair behind her ears once more. "The TARDIS is my home now, has been for awhile if 'M being honest. You and her are my family, and I'm happy, I really am. I love my mum, but we've been living separate lives for awhile now."
"You're so strong, Rose Tyler." She simply hmm'd before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips that he returned eagerly. The kiss lasted for a few lingering moments, Rose being the one to pull away first with a loving smile.
"Okay, 'M gonna go get ready, then we can head to Mum's flat." The Doctor watched her go with a dopey smile on his face, his eyes trained on her till she disappeared from view. When he could no longer see her, he began bustling about the kitchen, putting away his breakfast dish before moving back into the console room to patiently wait for Rose.
It took her about ten minutes to get ready, her joggers and cardi exchanged for jeans, a familiar pink hoodie, and her hair was now tied up in a cute little pony tail. She grinned a little more morosely at him as she entered the console room, the truth of what they were about to do finally starting to set in. The Doctor beamed when she came into view, his smile bright but his eyes dark with empathy and his own sadness. If you had asked him two years ago if Jackie Tyler would be someone he considered family, he would've scoffed and gone on about slap happy mums that jabber on about useless ape things and then shoved his hands in his leather jacket before striding off. Now, the blonde woman was someone he'd miss fiercely, and he swore to himself then that he'd take care of Rose, not just for himself, but for Jackie Tyler too.
His pink and yellow girl was being incredibly brave, and he knew it was for his benefit. She'd often scolded him for his endless guilt complex, and they both knew that this strong facade was her attempt to keep him from feeling as if this was his fault. But what he didn't know was that the act was as much for her as it was for him. She knew that if she allowed herself to crumble that it would take her too long to put herself back together again. It would have to wait until she could hide away for a while and allow herself to fall apart before piecing herself back together.
"I set up a search for any usable cracks left between universes, the TARDIS should let us know if she finds one. Are you sure you're ready for this?"
She nodded, brown eyes burning with determination. "If I don' do it now, I'll never do it. An' I don' want it hangin' around in the back of my head, Mum's flat left abandoned and waitin'." Her accent thickened with emotion as she spoke, the Doctor watching her with concerned eyes.
"If you're sure."
"I am." He nodded and pulled the lever, the journey oddly smooth as they flew through the vortex and landed gently outside the Estate. They both rounded the console silently and paused before the doors, the Doctor stretching his hand across the space between their bodies, wiggling his finger in an offering of support and a sliver of normalcy. She took it gratefully, her grip tight as they stepped through the doors and back onto Earth. The Estate loomed ahead of them, a place that had always been an odd mixture of home and a reminder of her social status now seeming darker than ever. She knew it was because it was missing the light that was Jackie Tyler. The flat had never been her home, her safe haven, it was her mum. And now it was the Doctor and his TARDIS. She took a deep breath before squaring her shoulders, nodding determinedly when the Doctor sent her a questioning glance.
The journey from the TARDIS, up the stairs, and through her flat door seemed shorter than ever. When they stepped inside she couldn't help the way her eyes searched for her mum without her permission. But their search turned up empty, there was no loud blonde bustling about the place with a phone pressed against her ear and the telly playing East Enders reruns in the background. The place was still and silent, magazines and various knick knacks scattered about as if her mum had just stepped out and was about to return any moment. She slowly entered the flat fully, eyes shining with held back tears. The Doctor hung back, hands shoved deep into his bigger on the inside pockets as his eyes followed her worriedly. Her fingers reached for the photo on the table positioned just underneath the windows her mom would look out of as she waited for her daughter's return. It was a picture of Jackie and Rose on her eighteenth birthday, the quality wasn't the best- in fact it was quite blurry- but the joy on their faces couldn't be faked. They were in a pub, the lighting dark and a football match lighting up the screen of a tv behind them. They were holding up pints in celebration of her "first drink". She couldn't help the snort that escaped her at the thought. She worked so hard to convince her mum that she'd never drank before, but the two blondes both knew that wasn't the truth. She's startled from her thoughts by the Doctor's gentle hand on the small of her back, his eyes burning with concern, love, and sadness. She tried to smile reassuringly but she had a feeling it came out more like a grimace before setting the picture down.
"I'm going to run back to the TARDIS and grab a few bags for you to put the stuff you'd like to keep in, yeah? You start sorting and I'll be back to help in a tick."
"Yeah, alrigh'." Rose watched him leave with love in her eyes and then turned her attention back towards the heavy job ahead of her. She took in a deep, fortifying breath, and then got started. The first thing in her keep pile was the photo she'd just been holding, placing it gently on the table in front of the couch, deciding that's where she'd put what she wanted to keep. She swept around the room, making sure to grab her favorite photos and her mum's favorite blanket to wear while watching telly. She moved into her mum's room next, grabbing the few pieces of jewelry that were authentic and handed down from Grandma Prentice as well as her mum's perfume. She'd never been much of a fan of it herself when she was younger, but now it would be a comfort, a reminder of Jackie. Moving from her mum's room to her own was less morose. This was the room where she'd grown up, where she'd cried for the first time over a boy and where her mum had told her stories of her dad. But now she had her room on the TARDIS. A fantastic replica that could still hold those memories while also containing the new ones. Like when her first Doctor had cradled her so tenderly after she'd met her dad and lost him all in one day. So while she loved this room, she wasn't truly leaving it behind. She snatched up the few pieces of clothing she still had in the flat, as well as the framed photos on her nightstand- a few of her and Shareen, one or two of her and Mickey, and one final photo of her and her mum. She was leaving her room when the Doctor finally returned, a bigger on the inside duffle bag gripped in his hand.
"You alright?" He questioned, brows furrowed. She nodded and gave him a genuine smile. This was truly bittersweet. A part of her almost felt like she was simply moving out, as every kid does eventually, but there was still that ever nagging reminder that she wasn't just moving across town. She wasn't going to be able to pop in for a visit or tea with her mum. She wouldn't be receiving phone calls from a worried Jackie who just wanted to make sure she was okay and that the Doctor was treating her well. It was an odd amalgamation of normal and alien. She had to keep reminding herself when the thought of never seeing her mum again popped up that the woman wasn't dead. She was off living her life, she was with her husband who she'd lost years ago and staying in a big mansion. She finally had everything she'd ever wanted, except Rose. But everyone starts living their own life eventually, and as long as they were both happy and loved wasn't that all that mattered?
"Yeah, 'm okay. Thanks for gettin' the bag."
"Of course," he beamed before looking around. "Where'd you put the things we're bringing with us?"
"Over here," she led him to her slowly growing, but still quite small, pile. The Doctor looked at it confusedly before shooting her a curious look.
"This is it? Are you sure? We have more than enough room for anything you'd like to take."
"I know," she reassured him, taking his hand with a smile. "But this is everythin' that's important. The rest is just stuff. Well, except-" she pulled away gently before moving into the kitchen and opening up a cabinet by the sink. She smiled a closed lip, affectionate smile as she gently lifted her mum's favorite mug from it's resting place. It was one Rose had gotten for her birthday when she was young. It was pink (of course) and had a little cartoon tea bag on it. Written above the tea bag were the words 'You're my cup of tea' in a dainty black calligraphy. It was cheesy and old, but her mum had cherished it, so it would come with them.
The Doctor smiled sadly when he saw Rose come back into the room, Jackie's tea mug cradled gently in her hands. If Jackie Tyler was at home it was rare to see her without one of two things- the phone or her mug of tea. He'd been busy while she'd been gone, placing the items in the keep pile in the duffle bag, folding and organising it in a fashion quite out of character and far from his usual chaotic disorganisation. She came and dropped next to him on the sofa before placing the mug on the table. He was nearly done packing the things she'd collected up while she'd been gone and without saying anything she began to help him.
When everything was neatly packed away they finally spoke, Rose going first. "Well, tha's it then. Everythin' from the flat I wanna keep I've got." The Doctor nodded and zipped up the bag before turning to her with an inquisitive frown.
"What about the gifts for your mum that you picked up on our travels? Probably best not to let them fall into human hands." She rolled her eyes at her own forgetfulness before rushing off into her mum's room once again. She opened the drawer of the nightstand to reveal the various trinkets Rose had bought for her mum, smiling at the alien items from all over the universe that her mum kept in a drawer like they were simply from the shop down the road. She scooped them up and moved back to the Doctor, dropping the items in his lap with a grin.
"She kept 'em in the drawer by her bed." He chuckled at that and nodded, shoving them into his never ending pockets for safe keeping. His leg was bouncing with his usual manic energy as he leaned back, watching her from the corner of his eye as he asked one last question.
"What'll happen to the stuff we leave behind?"
She waved her hand dismissively, leaning back as well. "The Council will take care of it. Mr. Gary down the hall was like ninety eight and died in his sleep. They just chucked all his stuff out and re-listed the flat." She fell quiet as she once again reminded herself that her mum was not dead. She was fine, they had both just moved away. Rose to the TARDIS and her mum to Pete's World. She shoved to her feet, the Doctor jumping up with her and scooping up the bag before she could. "We should be off, yeah?"
He nodded hesitantly, his eyes flicking between her's as if he could see what she was thinking in the brown of her irises. "If you're ready then, yeah, we should go before someone notices we're here." She nods resolutely and takes one last look around before leading the way out, ignoring the burning of the Doctor's concerned gaze on the back of her head. They sped down the stairs, both of their minds returning to the day when Rose's first Doctor 'swanned off' only to have a persistent blonde chase him down the stairs and across the street. It took the Doctor a moment to notice that Rose had stopped halfway between the flat and the TARDIS, her eyes fixated on the window that allowed one to peer into a flat that was no longer Jackie Tyler's. He returned to her side, silent for what had to be the first time ever, and gently took her smaller hand in his own. He wasn't surprised by her need to say goodbye, to give herself a moment to remember, what he was surprised by was the flood of emotions he was hit with as they stood there. Emotions that were most definitely not his own. A wave of sadness, longing- oddly not for the flat itself, but for the sight of her mum's face in the window- and something that was almost closure. The emotions were so strong they barreled past his defences and left him reeling. Rose shouldn't be able to project like that, he shouldn't be receiving any of this even with the physical contact. He was bewildered, his mind racing through scenarios and theories as he tried to figure out what was going on, even as another part of him stayed tuned in to Rose. He shook himself mentally, forcing himself to focus fully on the situation at hand. There was time for questions and scans later, right now Rose needed this, needed him.
They stood there together, saying goodbye to a place that had sheltered them both in difficult times, before turning away in unison to return to the TARDIS, her door closing with a resolute thud behind them.
The hum of the TARDIS was soothing and slightly melancholy as the Doctor and Rose sat curled up together on the sofa in the library. It was a habit that had formed after their first encounter with the Dalek in Van Statten's museum. He'd hidden away and she'd wandered around exploring the TARDIS in an attempt to keep from stewing in her thoughts. The night had been long, her first Doctor cradling her in his arms for the very first time as they drew comfort from each other, both ignoring the presence of a sleeping Adam in an incredibly bare room down the hall. Honestly, the TARDIS' dislike of the boy should've been a blaring mauve alert. The tradition stuck after that, beginning as simply a coping mechanism after rough adventures and transitioning into a nightly thing. The Doctor would read to her, his voice soothing, and she would lie with her head in his lap, struggling to stay awake as he combed his fingers through her hair.
And that was how they sat now, the Doctor's fingers stroking her short blonde locks as he read to her from a book written in the 43rd century, explaining any concepts and histories she wouldn't know as a girl from the early 2000s. She tried to focus on the story and ignore the thought of never seeing her mum again that was lurking in the back of her mind, but she was failing miserably.
The Doctor seemingly sensed her struggle, as he closed the book he was reading with a snap and straightened up, peering down at her with worried eyes. "What's bothering you, Rose?" She sniffled and sat up, leaning her back against the arm of the couch so they could sit face to face, tucking her hair behind her ears as she did so.
"'S my mum." He winced minutely at that despite the fact that he was surely expecting it. "I just wish there was some way for me to say goodbye. I didn' even say it when I left Pete's World, too determined to get back to you. I just popped off. I don' regret my choice-" she stated firmly when he opened his mouth to apologize- " I jus' wish I could talk to her one last time, tell her I love her and that 'M happy… make sure she's happy too." He nodded solemnly and reached across the gap separating them, taking her hand in his gently.
"Well," he began, clearing his throat, "I'm not saying anything for sure but maybe, just maybe, there's a tee tiny little crack that has yet to close out there."
"And we could use it to visit?"
He shook his head sadly and squeezed her hand once in comfort. "No, it would be too small and attempting to force our way through would cause the fabric between realities to fracture, two universes would collapse. But, maybe we could use it to send a message."
"So, I might be able to say goodbye?"
"Potentially. We'd have to get the TARDIS to scan for cracks and have hope." She crawled over to him and settled into his lap before wrapping her arms around him tightly, burying her face into his neck.
"Can we please try?" He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head and nodded, rubbing a hand up and down her back soothingly.
"Course, Rose." She squeezed him tightly one last time before clambering from his lap, holding her hand out to him. His fingers interlocked perfectly with her's when he took her hand, standing with a solemn look on his face. "You sure this is what you want? It'll be hard. You won't be able to touch her. Won't be able to hug her. Just an image." She nodded, hair falling from where she'd tucked it behind her ears at the motion,
"I've gotta say goodbye, Doctor."
"Alright then, if you're sure."
"I am." He nodded and squeezed her hand before the two of them walked out of the library and down to the console room, the Doctor only letting go of her hand when he needed both to begin setting up the programme to scan for any cracks in between universes. It only took a few minutes, the Doctor turning to face her with a concerned look, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.
"It's done. The TARDIS will let us know if she finds something. Let's go to bed, yeah? I'm knackered." She snorted and shook her head, rubbing at her eye tiredly.
"You don't gotta pretend to be tired instead of just sayin' you think I need rest, Doctor."
He strode over to her, making the journey in three steps with his long legs, and gently took her by the shoulders, bending his head down so he was eye level.
"I do think you need to rest, Rose. You've been through a traumatic event and I don't want you to push yourself too far. But, I also wasn't pretending. My superior biology might make it to where I don't have to sleep as much as you humans, but I still need some. And it's been a hell of a few days for me too." She let out a few chuckles at the Doctor's typical mentioning of his superior biology before nodding in agreement.
"Yeah, alright then. Let's go to bed." The TARDIS had wasted no time merging their rooms once her two occupants had stopped fighting against the inevitable, so the Doctor and Rose went to bed together, their room the perfect mixture of the two of them. They brushed their teeth together and changed into their night clothes, the Doctor in his pinstripe pyjamas that were incredibly reminiscent of the Christmas they spent with her mum, and Rose in a pale pink nightgown. She pulled back the blankets and crawled under, watching as the Doctor ran the sonic screwdriver over his suit to remove the wrinkles that had appeared throughout the day.
He grinned at her as he joined her in the bed, quickly curving his body around her almost protectively and definitely lovingly, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. "Get some rest, love. Tomorrow we'll see what the TARDIS has for us, okay?" She nodded, turning towards him to bury her face in his chest.
"I love you," she whispered into his chest, the darkness and his scent cocooning her, making her feel safe. Nothing could touch her here in her Doctor's arms, both of them shielded from the world by their beloved TARDIS.
"I love you too," he whispered back.
