Catching Up

Buffy realized that Angel wasn't going to be the one to break the silence so she took it upon herself to do it. "Its ok…I mean…sure I was upset at first when you said that we should break up. I didn't want to understand that you were doing it for the right reasons. I just wanted…well I just didn't understand at first. And…I know that we probably still shouldn't be together because nothings really changed and…it's for the best."

She looked down at the ground again. She just couldn't look at him when she said these things. Her head told her that everything she was saying was true. It could never work between them. But her heart had never let him go even after all those years. She started feeling uneasy, he still wasn't saying anything. "Ok some kind of reaction might help a little here," she said shyly with a small laugh.

Angel snapped out of his trance. "Sorry…I just…its just…a lot to take all at once I guess."

"Yea…sorry, I know it's a lot to take," Buffy started to ramble, "I mean for all I know I could be wrong. Me getting sent back here may have nothing to do with you at all…I mean it could have something to do with something very small that happens…I really don't know. I just thought…well because this was the only big thing that I could think of that happened around this time and I just…"

Angel stopped her, he knew if he didn't she'd go on forever and end up making less sense then she was making now. "Buffy its ok. I understand. I'm just trying to figure this all out in my head. You're right…I have kind of been thinking that we might be better off…apart, that you could have a better life without me. But I…I just…I don't even really know where to go with this."

Buffy had to stop herself from crying again. She almost felt like he was breaking up with her all over again and that was one experience of many that she never wanted to relive again. She knew that was probably what he would say. I mean what else did she expect? In a week he was going to break up with her. Breaking up a relationship as deep as theirs was doesn't just happen over night. You think it through over and over again for a long time first.

She figured that this was going no where and that he probably needed some time to think about everything she had told him, everything she had just asked him to do. She didn't even think she really realized what she had asked him to do. She just asked him to stay in the same town with her and fight side by side with her without being able to be with her, touch her, hold her. "I think I'm gonna go. You obviously need some time to think about all this."

Angel stood up fearing he offended her, "Buffy wait…I…"

"Angel its ok…I understand…really I do. Just take some time and then you can let me know," Buffy said reassuring him that he wasn't offending her at all and that she truly did understand.

He walked towards her. It almost looked like he was going to try and say something but he couldn't get the words out. She saved him the trouble, she quickly kissed him goodnight and then walked out the door without a word leaving him there confused and alone.

She didn't know what else to do but to go home. When she got home her mother was asleep. She opened the door to her mother's room just as she had done night after night to the girl's rooms in her time. She saw her mom sleeping peacefully, she wanted so much to just curl up in bed next to her and sleep in her arms just as she had done as a child. Instead she went for option number two. She crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep.

Putting up a happy face for the others at the library took a lot out of Willow so afterwards she decided to go strait home and wallow in her own self pity. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that she would be responsible for doing something so horrible in the future. I mean…she tries to destroy the world! She couldn't even go one second without thinking about that.

When they were in the library Xander had noticed that Willow was acting kind of distant and worried. He knew every Willow face there ever was. They had been best friends for so long that it was impossible for Willow to hide any emotions at all from him. After they had left the library Xander fallowed Willow home. He was very worried about her so he figured he would just fallow and then knock on the door and make sure she was ok. And he did just that.

When Xander got to the door it opened before he could even knock. Willow was going to go for a walk so she opened the door but Xander was standing there in her way. "Xander? Wha…what are you doing here?" she asked with worry in her voice. She knew that Xander was probably going to ask her what was wrong and she knew she would have to tell him. She couldn't hide anything from him…not Xander.

"I just thought I'd come check on you and I can see from your reaction that it was probably a good idea I came. What's going on Will? You've been acting all weird ever since you got back from your little search for Buffy. Did you find her? Did she say something to you?" Xander asked with worry.

At first, Willow tried to think of some kind of excuse. When she couldn't, she just broke down instead. She couldn't take it anymore. She fell into Xander's arms and began to cry. "Oh Xander it's horrible I found Buffy but she was talking to Giles about future me and I'm such a horrible person. I try to destroy the world. I didn't stick around long enough to figure out why I didn't or how they stop me. You guys probably have to kill me for all I know."

Xander just stroked her hair and tried to comfort her, "It's ok Will, we'll figure this out. Everything is going to be ok."

Willow continued to cry. "I just don't understand how I could do such a thing." She pulled away slowly so that she was facing him. He could see the tears running down her face. She sniffled a little. "And apparently I'm a lesbian."

Xander's eyes opened wide, "You're a what? That is so hot," he responded with a big half joking, half excited smile. Willow just looked at him disappointedly. "I mean umm…good for you. There is nothing wrong…or hot about that. Sorry."

They stood there for a little longer in each other's arms, Xander letting Willow get out all of her emotions. He didn't really know what to tell her so for now he just let her cry.

After the kids had left, Giles and Wesley locked themselves in the library still continuing their research. There were open books scattered everywhere, on the floor, on the table, on the counters and even on the empty seats. Both of the watchers were very tired but they didn't want to give up until they found something that might tell them anything about what was going on with Buffy.

Wesley was falling asleep while reading. He kept nodding off and then catching himself before falling. He had done this several times now and the final time he was doing it his head finally hit the table. Just as Wes had fallen asleep Giles stood up and yelled in victory, "Yes!"

Wesley jumped up from his slumber, "Wha…what? I'm awake…what's happening?"

Giles had a giant triumphant smile on his face, "I still have no idea exactly how or why Buffy was sent to the past but I know for sure what she needs to do to get back to where she came from."