Supergirl sat down with a soon-to-be CW agent that would one day be C-20 at a restaurant on some random Caribbean island. They were both wearing civilian clothes with C-20 completely oblivious to who and what Supergirl was. "We could eat potato skins, buffalo wings," C-20 suggested.
"Or we could eat each other out in my hotel room," Supergirl suggested wide-eyed. C-20 simply gawked at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being too forward?" Kara apologized.
"Kara, you can't say things like that in the first scene. You have to queer-bait for five seasons before you can even suggest such a thing," C-20 lectured.
"You're so right," Supergirl nodded.
"Oh my God, I have such a brain freeze, right now," C-20 said as she drank her margarita.
"Is it okay if our fingers touch?" Supergirl said placing her hand out there.
"Now, that is totally allowed," C-20 smiled.
"So, how long have we been best friends?" Supergirl asked placing her hand on C-20's wrist.
"Too long," C-20 smirked. "Wait, I don't even think I know you."
"It's alright. You're just too drunk to remember," Supergirl assured her.
"Yeah, probably just drunk-as-fuck," C-20 said about to pass out.
In the real world, Supergirl dropped C-20 to the floor after she had memory kissed her. She was in the CW surveillance room with crude televisions. After she was done with C-20, Supergirl entered the halls. A CW agent went to stop her. Supergirl attempted to blast him with heat vision when she realized her powers didn't work. Supergirl then used her superior martial arts to take the agent's staff from him and beat him down with it. This alerted three more agents to her location. Supergirl proceeded to beat them down as well without too much difficulty. Supergirl continued her walk down the halls until she came to an elevator guarded by two agents. She beat the shit out of them as well. It was then that Kara snuck up on her.
"I have questions," Kara said to her.
"You trying to be a reporter...now?" Supergirl asked incredulously.
"Rude," Kara said insulted. "Are you sure you're a Supergirl?"
"You're in my way," Supergirl said dismissively.
"You are my way," Kara told her.
Supergirl easily manhandled Kara despite their strength being the same. "I figured we might work together," Kara offered. Supergirl merely kicked her away.
"You lack vision just like your writers," Supergirl scoffed and headed towards the elevator.
"If you won't come willingly...I'll have to arrest you," Kara said to her as she took hold of her from behind.
Supergirl and Kara scuffled with each other as the judge and two guards showed up. "Come any closer and I'll kill your prize," Supergirl threatened, placing a sword blade to Kara's throat.
"Go for it. She's getting canceled anyway," the judge said dismissively.
Kara quickly activated a portal dropping them both out of the CW building and onto a bed in a tent on some exotic planet. Supergirl and Kara fought over the portal device until Supergirl slammed Kara's head into a table and retrieved it. She then realized the portal device was out of power. "Well...shit," Supergirl said disappointed.
Kara tried to reach for the portal device only to get beat back with one hand. Supergirl easily overpowered Kara and brought her back to the ground. "After careful consideration, I've decided to disappear your ass," Supergirl said angrily.
A meteorite suddenly sliced through the tent and landed on the ground. "What the fuck?" Supergirl wondered. "Where the fuck did you send us?" Supergirl said exiting the tent and looking around finding herself on Maaldoria with a red sun and a moon about to crash into the planet.
"You fucking idiot," Supergirl scolded Kara. "You put us on Maaldoria right before the moon crashes into the planet."
"This never happened...on the show," Kara said confused.
"It happened off-screen when the Daxamites came to search this planet for their baby boy. They sent the moon down onto the planet-killing slaves and slave masters alike," Supergirl explained.
"We need to find shelter," Kara said and then ran towards a metal shed. Supergirl followed her inside.
"Scared of a little meteorite rain?" Supergirl mocked.
"We're on Maaladoria. That means red sunlight, no powers," Kara said obviously.
Supergirl gave her a blank look. "Why?"
"Because red sunlight has lower radiation levels," Kara said.
"Except the opposite is true. Red giants have a lower surface temperature but emit so much radiation that not even Jupiter's magnetosphere can block it," Supergirl corrected. "I mean, do you lose your powers when it's nighttime?"
"Well, no," Kara admitted.
"Are you constantly using your powers all day and all night?" Supergirl questioned.
"No," Kara shook her head.
"So...you have reserves, right?" Supergirl asked mockingly.
"Okay, it's like carbon monoxide in the air. Our cells prefer useless red sunlight to yellow sunlight the same way red blood cells prefer carbon monoxide over oxygen. So, the red sunlight is replacing our yellow sunlight reserves thus weakening us," Kara articulated.
"Bravo," Supergirl mocked clapped. "Was that ever explained on the show?"
"No, no it wasn't," Kara admitted. "Look, I didn't write the script."
Supergirl got close to Kara. "Now, at the end, you finally understand."
"What are you doing?" Kara squeaked as Supergirl grabbed her by the throat and gave her a passionate kiss. Supergirl then withdrew disappointed.
"What was that?" Kara asked shocked and appalled.
"You're apparently immune to my memory kiss. It was worth a try," Supergirl shrugged backing away.
"That is an invasion of privacy and a violation," Kara lectured.
"Do I look like the kind of girl that gives a shit?" Supergirl wondered.
"I propose a truce. Neither one of us is leaving here until we get the portal device back online," Kara said reasonably. "Or we can kill each other in this abandoned mining house."
"Make love, not war," Supergirl agreed. "There's power on this planet, enough to get that portal device working again."
The two walked out of the mine hole and onto a dirt road. "Where are we going?" Kara asked tiredly as Supergirl kept up a good walking pace.
"There's a town nearby," Supergirl pointed out. "Try to keep up."
"So, do you go by Kara?" Kara asked.
"I go by many names, but you can call me Linda to avoid confusion for the readers," Linda said.
"You have a really bad attitude, Linda. That isn't how to be Supergirl," Kara told her.
"Oh, and what makes a Supergirl?" Linda scoffed.
"Truth, justice, and all that good stuff," Kara said.
Linda barked out a laugh. "You can't even say it, can you?" she mocked.
"I'm just trying to be inclusive," Kara said defensively.
"No one gives a shit. Real Americans think you're a tool and foreigners don't respect you for it. No one respects someone that isn't loyal or respectful of their own country," Linda said.
"So, what is a Supergirl to you?" Kara asked feeling burned.
"Independence, authority, and style," Linda smirked. "So, why did you run off to join the CW?"
"I was just a consultant," Kara downplayed.
"You don't know what you are," Linda said snidely.
"I was years in the making. I built the foundation for your story and now you want to tear it all down. Some would call that ungrateful," Kara chided.
"Supergirl fanfiction existed before your pitiful show. It will exist long after it ends," Linda said dismissively.
"Until your author loses interest. You're not fanfiction incarnate. You're just one version of me from one anonymous author on the Internet. You're in the same boat as me," Kara said.
"What shade," Linda said impressed. "You're becoming more like me with every moment."
The two entered the town and found it abandoned. "Looks like everyone left," Kara said looking around.
Linda used her X-ray vision to scan the buildings and found no one. "If they did, it was in vain. This planet gets destroyed in twelve hours."
"How horrible," Kara muttered. "Could that charge the portal device?" she asked pointing out a dwelling with power.
"Maybe," Linda said walking up to it.
"Perhaps being polite would be best," Kara said to her as she was about to kick the door in.
Linda ignored her and kicked the door in. She was suddenly hit with a shockwave blast. Linda took a step back and then blasted her weapon to scrap stunning the woman. "Where is everyone?" Linda demanded as she grabbed her throat.
"Linda, don't do this. You're above this," Kara preached.
"The ark," the woman said.
"Where is it?" Linda demanded.
"There's a train station at the edge of town but you'll never get a ticket," the woman told her.
Linda let the woman go. "The ark will have enough power for the portal device," she said to Kara.
At the train station, a few dozen people in ragged clothes attempted to board the train. They were all former slaves who have been waiting for hours in line. "Now, the solution is not fighting," Kara lectured.
"Who said anything about fighting?" Linda asked offended.
"All your plans involve fighting," Kara pointed out.
"I'm going to persuade the guards to let us on with my charisma," Linda said.
"Or you'll threaten to kill the guards and hijack the train?" Kara guessed.
"That is entirely up to them," Linda said.
The two went past the line to the train entrance. "Whoa, your tickets?" one guard asked.
Linda clapped her hands collapsing two guards and then went inside. Linda entered the lavatory, found a rich elite woman looking at her appearance in the mirror, and then slammed her face into the mirror knocking her out. She then stole her clothes and exited with no one seeing what she had done. "Did you...steal those?" Kara asked aghast.
"Come with me," Linda said taking Kara to the bar.
"That wasn't a plan. That was just brute force," Kara chided.
"If it works, it works," Linda smirked as she drank a dry martini.
"Why do you even drink that? Kryptonians can't get drunk," Kara said to her.
"In your show, perhaps. In mine, the comics, and the movies, Kryptonians can definitely get drunk," Linda smiled. "The only reason you can't was to create a plot device in the second season. It's one of the reasons why you don't relate to your alcoholic sister very well."
"She's not an alcoholic. She just drinks wine...every time I see her at her apartment," Kara frowned and then yawned.
"You should get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day," Linda said wide-eyed.
"I can't sleep with such untrustworthy people around me," Kara said looking directly at her.
"Fine, you want to talk about something?" Linda asked.
"What was your mother like?" Kara asked.
"She was...good, decent. I appreciated her adopting me," Linda smiled.
"I mean, your real mother," Kara clarified.
"She was a bitch that hated me because I was different. One time, I created a plague of frogs and fired off fireworks into the sky. I wanted her to believe in me, but I could never please her and she saw me as an embarrassment. That's why she never came to visit me or check to see if I was still alive on Earth," Linda said bluntly.
"She didn't know we were still alive," Kara defended her.
"She could have checked," Linda said obviously.
"They didn't have any pods to spare and it was too far away for interstellar communication," Kara pointed out.
"Except they did have pods. How else did Selena and her two friends arrive? Or how did Kal-El and Lois arrive during Crisis?" Linda pointed out
Kara's face fell at that. "It's dawning on you these plotholes, isn't it? It's not Alura's fault for being a bitch. It's the writers," Linda said.
"Champagne?" a waitress asked them.
"No," Kara shook her head.
"I'll take them," Linda said taking both glasses. "Cheers," she said mockingly as she clinked both glasses. "To the end of the world."
"You could save this world if you wanted to. Your author gave you powers way beyond mine. You could destroy the falling moon or push it out of its orbit. You just don't care," Kara accused.
"Maybe I hate them," Linda shrugged.
"Hate is a form of love," Kara said knowingly.
"Hate is love. I'll have to write that one down," Linda mocked. "Speaking of love, do you think they'll give you a love interest by the end of the season?"
"I don't think it matters when faced with oblivion," Kara said sadly.
"Your writers were cruel to give you Mon, then take him away, then give him back to you only for you to not be able to have him. Then, when you think he'll leave Saturn Girl forever and be with you, he goes back to the future," Linda mocked.
"Yes, it was cruel," Kara nodded. "But I learned a lot and you grow stronger with adversity."
"Mon-El didn't need to leave the planet and get sucked into that wormhole. It became established in season 4 that a person could be placed indefinitely in a suit until the lead could be cleared from the air. Or you could go with him in that pod. Maybe, together, you would have avoided the wormhole or maybe you would have found love in the future," Linda said.
"Stop it!" Kara said visibly distressed and crying. "I feel like I've gone through life in a fog not knowing why or how I do the things that I do, never detecting or understanding those who were puppeteering me. I just tried to make the best of the situation and remain hopeful. I wasn't written to have a happy life, to have a love interest, a family, an Earth free of danger. Half my foes came from my mistakes."
Kara wiped away her tears. "So, I imagine you married Mon-El, had children, became the ruler of the future, and achieved all of your dreams."
"Yeah," Linda confirmed. "But it took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get me there. I achieved greatness but I had to experience hardship to get there. I had great successes and challenges while you had neither."
"What are your children's names?" Kara asked curiously.
"Kon and Mara," Linda answered. "Get it? I just switched the first letters of our names."
"I get it," Kara smiled. "I'm happy for you."
"The writers will find someone for you in the end. It could be a man...or a woman," Linda said mockingly.
"I would be fine with either prospect," Kara said tolerantly.
"Of course you would be," Linda smirked. "Get some sleep."
Kara awoke to singing, music, and dancing. Linda was having a good time singing Kryptonian songs with the passengers and hired musicians. Linda's voice became soft and mournful for a moment and then became upbeat once more. "Another!" she shouted.
"You're drunk," Kara accused.
"Who cares?" Linda asked dismissively.
"I think something is happening," Kara said obviously.
"Well...no shit. A moon is about to crash into us," Linda said unimpressed.
"I saw some people looking at you weirdly," Kara noted.
"By weird you mean queer?" Linda frowned.
"Don't be an...," Kara said and then stopped herself.
"I really thought you had something there," Linda mocked.
Guards then showed up in the bar in full force. "Ma'am, can I see your ticket?" the captain asked.
"Tickets? Tickets you say? I appear to be missing mine. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this," Linda said.
The guards went to arrest her. Linda beat all the guards down in a split second. Kara was arrested by a guard with a knife to her throat. Linda hesitated and then blasted a hole through the window with her heat vision. Suddenly, Kara and the guard were sucked out of the train. Linda hesitated for a moment and then flew out the window as well.
Kara tumbled on the ground hurt and confused. Linda gracefully landed next to her. "You...insufferable...," Kara said as she tried to curse.
"Keep going, I believe in you," Linda mocked.
"The portal device is broken now," she revealed.
Linda frowned at that. "Well...shit."
"You're not a serious woman. You're a...clown," Kara accused.
"I'm a god," Linda corrected.
"You got drunk on the train," Kara continued.
"It's what I do," Linda said unapologetically.
"I like to have fun too but never at the expense of the mission," Kara told her off.
"Do you listen to yourself? What mission is that? Your glorious purpose as a border control agent? To jail as many aliens as you can without due process?" Linda mocked.
Kara turned away and screamed in frustration creating a shockwave in the air and then sat down. "That's the spirit," Linda encouraged her. "Get mad."
"Is everything a joke to you?" Kara asked her.
"Not everything. Be reasonable," Linda smiled.
"Okay, are you going to do something about that moon or not?" Kara asked.
"Maybe I will if you get off your ass and come with me to the ark," Linda said.
"Fine," Kara said getting up and walking down the tracks.
The two walked a good while towards the capital city. "So, how are you so strong?" Kara asked curiously.
"I was in close orbit to a yellow star for thirty years. I soaked up more radiation from the sun in one hour than Superman did in his entire lifetime," Linda replied.
"Surely, a Kryptonian plateau at some point," Kara said.
"If one does, I don't know it yet," Linda smirked.
"How does that not make you a Mary Sue?" Kara asked.
"So, you have heard of the term?" Linda mocked.
"Only by boys that are afraid of courageous powerful women," Kara said proudly.
"I am not liked by everyone. My friends and my sister can hardly stand me. Even my husband thinks I'm a bitch. I make mistakes...often. I hold unpopular opinions that get me into trouble. I've killed a shit-ton of people, some of which I regret. And there were people I lost, I could have saved," Linda said reflectively. "So, even with all my powers, I'm just as well-rounded as anyone else."
"So, why were you written to have such great power?" Kara asked.
"To mock the notion that great power comes with great responsibility. The fact is, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'm scared of what I would do. What I would become if I took on too much," Linda said.
"Our family crest is not fear but hope," Kara told her off.
Linda scoffed at that. "You sound like that CW agent I mind-raped. She was once like you, full of hope in her own CW show. It wasn't until she was introduced to the real world that she knew better."
"What did you say?" Kara asked stunned.
"Many if not all of the CW agents are characters from other canceled shows," Linda said obviously.
"Do they know that?" Kara asked surprised.
"Nope," Linda shook her head.
"Then...there's hope after all," Kara realized.
"What the fuck are you on about?" Linda asked impatiently.
"We need to get on that ark," Kara said urgently.
In the capital city, Kara and Linda made their way through the crowd. "All these people are...," Kara said horrified.
"Fucked? Yeah," Linda agreed.
"Let's go around," Kara said as she saw the crowd.
Kara and Linda went around the crowd only to be hit with a meteorite impact. Kara was on the ground nearly knocked out. Linda helped her back to her feet. "You alright?" she asked.
"Yeah," Kara nodded.
The two went into a bar where they were ambushed by guards pissed off by what happened on the train. "Really, guys?" Linda shook her head. She punched them all down within a second while Kara struggled with one lone guard.
The two exited the bar and ran down the streets as buildings collapsed around them. As a building collapsed on them, Linda raised her arm to block it as it fell on them. She then forced it aside with ease. Linda and Kara then beat down more guards as they got closer to the ark. Suddenly, a meteorite hit the ark cutting it in half and destroying it.
"Well...shit," Linda frowned.
"All those people just trying to survive," Kara said mournfully. "Is this not enough drama for you? How long will you wait while these people suffer and die?"
Linda gave her an odd look. "I know you can stop this. Do it, please," Kara pleaded.
"It's not in the script," Linda shook her head.
"None of this is," Kara replied.
Linda looked up at the moon as it was about to crack apart. "Hold onto your butts," she said as she took to the air. With her fist in front of her, she slammed through several large meteorites and entered space. Eyeing the moon, she fired heat vision at it. The beam hit the moon and blasted it apart into countless fragments. Linda then glowed as she exerted a gravitational pull higher than that of the planet. The debris from the moon became attracted to her and was incinerated as she became a second sun in the sky.
Kara looked up amazed as the night turned to day. Maaldoria was now saved...finally. In space, Linda could hear the joyful cries of everyone on the planet. The elitist slave-owning snobs that had entered the ark were dead. The people of the Maaldoria were free to rebuild how they pleased.
