Wow, now that I've updated I'm getting a lot of reviews. So I decided I would update again. This (I think) will be a relatively short chapter. I'll give you a warning though, you'll probably wind up thinking I'm completely nuts, but it just might be the fact that I still haven't gone to bed yet. I hope you enjoy! And now that I've really looked at all the things pointing to the end of HBP, I believe that Snape is ultimately a good guy. I'm also wondering that if that's the case if Dumbledore actually is a manipulative bastard…
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"Great dinner Molly," Sirius said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
Molly preened, "I aim to please."
Fred snorted, "Don't we all know that."
Mr. Weasley gave him a shocked look, "Fred! Where on earth did you think of something like that?" he scolded as the other people around the table fell over each other laughing. It was the night before Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and Hermione were to go back to Hogwarts. Bill and Fleur especially thought it was funny. Snape just scowled as Tonks,Lupin, Charlie, and Sirius smirked at the Weasley's discomfort. The other six were slightly confused until George said,
"Nice, we'll have to use that one when she starts going on about how she birthed two trouble-makers like us."
Ginny and Ron snickered, as the other laughed outright.
Lupin smiled when he saw Molly blush, "Come now at least it's not as bad as the year Sirius and I found out that Snape-"
"Don't even say it unless you would like me to cut out your tongue with a silver knife," Snape threatened dangerously.
Sirius growled as the room's occupants looked at the three of them curiously, "Really Snivellus, I didn't realize that you actually remembered that incident. Because I would gladly share it…"
The twins looked at Lupin and Sirius eagerly, "Go on tell us."
Snape glared at everyone, "Do I need to hex everyone to make them shut up? I wouldn't tell my friends about it."
"You have friends?" Fred asked just a George said,
"We aren't your friends, now go on, tell us."
Snape scowled as Lupin snorted into his drink, "Well see it was sixth year and Sirius and I were coming back from the kitchens and-"
"Lupin, for Merlin's sake, shut up!" Snape hissed.
Lupin smirked in a decidedly un-Lupin like way, "Why should I? What do I get out of it?"
"REMUS! YOU RUTTING LITTLE WOLF! I SWEAR I'LL HEX YOU INTO OBLIVION IF YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID!" Sirius howled as everyone gaped at him and Lupin whacked him over the head with his full plate of food and stomped off, then called over his shoulder,
"Sirius Black don't even think for one moment that I'll ever let you into my room tonight."
Snape smirked as Sirius paled.
"He didn't mean that, right?"
Presently, Harry was gaping at his godfather, Tonks and Charlie were struggling to hold in their laughter, and Bill and Fleur were looking suspiciously at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and everyone else was gaping at the retreating back of Remus Lupin.
"Really Black, that was really subtle, only you would think of seduction," Snape snickered at the look of horror on Sirius's face.
Now everyone was startled and the twins were looking nauseous.
"Suddenly I do NOT-" Fred started
"REALLY do not want to figure out-"
"What happened between you and-"
"Lupin and Snape." George finished as the twins bolted out of the room.
Harry finally found his tongue, "Holy shit!" he yelled, completely ignoring the girls who were looking offended. He had just had a very weird realization. He wondered if it was passed through godfather/godson relationships, "You and, and, and you two are like, TOGETHER! HOLY SHIT!"
"And the early bird gets the worm," Snape murmured after Harry's explosion.
Sirius was still paling, "Sev, buddy ol pal," completely ignoring Harry because he was still staring after Lupin, "Was he serious?"
Snape scoffed, "Take care of your own problems Black, don't come crying to me, I warned you but did you listen? Noooooo, you were to wrapped up in your perfect little world."
Sirius nearly whimpered, "Come on Sev, you know what its like, don't you? You remember right? Tell me how to fix it."
Snape rolled his eyes as everyone looked at the two enemies. Hermione had a dawning comprehension look in her eye.
"Good god Black, what are you? Sixteen? Because if you are, I'm not helping you out-" he was cut off with a shriek that was now familiar to the snarky Potions Master.
"Holy Mother of God! You three are gay! Holy shit!" Hermione screeched.
It was too much for everyone but Harry, Sirius (who at that moment bolted out of the room following Lupin muttering something about oils and bathtubs), Snape (who was extremely insulted) and Hermione. They all burst out laughing.
"Miss Granger, I am extremely offended that you even thought that."
"Why! You're freakin' sitting there calmly explaining that you wouldn't help Snuffles out and, and –"
"Snuffles?"
"Never mind that, and you just there and, my god! They probably caught you snogging some twittering, blathering idiot and that's why you said you'd cut off Lupin's tongue – though, knowing you, you'd probably enjoy it- not to mention that you seem quite fond of putting people into," Hermione continued to rant and rave while pacing about the room and using wild hand gestures while everyone else besides Snape stared at her in open-mouth shock.
Finally Snape stood up grabbed her arm and proceeded to use a silencing charm and glared at her, "Miss Granger, there's a big hole in your little theory and that is the fact that I'm not gay and I never have been." With that he shoved her into a chair, removed the charm,and stormed out of the room.
Harry was muttering under his breath about something like "probably hereditary, just my luck, he'll never look at me and I swear…" still mumbling he walked out of the room in a daze running into a doorframe as he did so.
Hermione pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, "Stupid slimy little git."
Ginny snickered, getting over shock, "Happy now?"
Hermione glared at her then sniffed, "Who cares anyway?" She walked off in a huff.
Everyone looked at each other, everyone thinking the same thing.
'They are in for a little… surprise'
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Evil cackles. I hope you enjoyed my little dinner fights. Sorry for the fact that it was all humor, I just had to get it out. Tell me if you guys know any really good insults, I might use them in further spats. Oh, and has anyone figured out who Harry likes? Snickering, do ya wanna hint? He's evil, he's b- whoops! Can't give anything away now can I? Review please!
Ciao!
The Goddess of Destiny