Hello, everyone! I hope you all enjoy the newest chapter and I apologize if you crave any cupcakes after reading it. (I say this because this is what happened to me.) Thank you to all who have continued to support the story thus far!
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
"Do you know what happened to all of our dust rags?"
"I saw one of the Handmaidens running around a basket of 'em. Guess they're not as important as they seem to be if they're off doing our jobs… "
"Which Handmaiden?"
"Beats me; you know it's hard to tell 'em apart. I may be wrong, but it sounded like she was swearin' up a storm."
"Oh, stop it, you spacer. Handmaidens are too prim and proper to swear."
- A conversation between two maids on the way to clean the Queen's quarters
The Queen is not alright.
I can see it in Padmé's eyes. She's holding it together well, (Which, I suppose, makes sense as she is a politician...) but there are subtle ways which prove to me that things aren't as they seem.
For example: she hasn't argued with me once over the past week about finishing her breakfast when I've brought it to her. There was also the time that I escorted her to the medbay to visit Saché and she didn't even blink when there was a young man in a pilot's uniform sitting at her bedside.
Now that was a fun conversation. I've never seen Saché turn so red and I've known her for years. ("Pilot Bran was just leaving, weren't you, Pilot Bran!?" )
Needless to say, she has a lot of explaining to do once she's recovered further. Even I won't tease her too much while she's healing from knee surgery.
Even now, as I listen to Padmé discuss the plans for the Unity Parade happening tomorrow, her inability to be completely still has me worried. She keeps tapping her fingers on the throne and exhaling through her nose more than she typically would.
Something is not right.
"─why, just yesterday, I had an enlightening conversation with Boss Nass about the new relations between the Naboo and the Gungans. He seems to be quite pleased with the respect he has been shown as of late." Governor Bibble, bless him, has risen in my esteem after the way he handled the Trade Federation while we were away. I've decided to cease my impressions of him for now.
"The Gungans made just as many sacrifices as we have. They should have the place of honor in the Unity Parade." Padmé exhales through her nose again. That makes the sixth time since the discussion began twenty minutes ago. How can no one else tell that something is weighing on her!? "I have been assured that everything is in order for the festivities? What of security, Captain Panaka?"
"Your Highness, I will be posted to the left of Supreme Chanceller Palpatine, while four of the Lead Handmaidens will be behind us." He glances at Yané and me. We were chosen to sit in on this conference while Eirtaé and Rabé assist with the preparations. I would've preferred the latter. Sitting still has not been easy for me as of late. "Your safety is assured."
"I have no doubts concerning my safety. You all have shown your diligence time and time again." Padmé turns towards Obi-Wan, who stands across from me and Governor Bibble. "Jedi Kenobi, I would like for you and your Padawan to take a place of honor on my right. We cannot express our full gratitude for your actions," her voice waver s slightly, "But we will not miss the opportunity to thank you during our celebration."
Obi-Wan inclines his head. "That is kind of you, Your Highness."
Somehow, I suspect he'd rather be watching the celebration from the side rather than stuck in the front.
Padmé rises from her seat, causing Yané and I to do the same. The rest of the attendees that weren't already standing are on their feet immediately. Thank the Force, we're about to start moving again. "It seems as if all preparations are well underway. If there are no further matters to discuss, I shall retire for the evening."
All the legislators bow towards her as she leaves the room, Yané and I following quietly. I look over my shoulder and catch Obi-Wan's nod in my direction. I wonder if he has discovered the devastatingly beautiful (read: not) pictures I left on his datapad.
Knowing him, he'll let me wonder about it for a while, just to aggravate me.
Once we are out of earshot of the assembly, Padmé stops and turns to us. Yané and I halt clumsily in an attempt not to run into her. If Panaka had seen us just now, I can only imagine the formation training session we'd have to endure. "I need your help with something."
"Anything, Your Highness," Yané affirms, ever the faithful observer of protocol. It took her weeks for her to adjust to calling Padmé by her first name when we were alone.
"Once I am back at my quarters, I need one of you to track down Eirtaé and Rabé, while the other gathers supplies from the kitchens." She smiles when my face lights up. "You know what to bring, Sabé?"
"I was meant for this sort of job, Your Worshipfulness."
To Padmé's credit, she doesn't roll her eyes at the title. "Excellent. We shall meet at my quarters in an hour."
Having been given these tasks, I quickly make my way to the kitchens and load up a hovercart with essentials. Even though I wanted to cry at the news that they would not have sweetcakes prepared in the near future, I took a plate of delicious-looking cupcakes topped with blue icing and gold sprinkles. Muja fruit pods, salty crisps, and a heaping load of biscuits complete my list of must-haves.
I wave to Cook Nara and turn the corner with the hover cart. Padmé's quarters are, thankfully, a short distance away from the kitchens which should mean I won't run into many passersby while on my mission.
My stomach growls at the sight of the cupcakes on the top and I surreptitiously take one from the top and begin eating. Mmmmm… Cook Nara has outdone herself with these. Humming slightly, I take another bite and come to a screeching halt, metaphorically speaking, to prevent a collision with the figure turning the corner at this exact moment.
I huff out a laugh as Obi-Wan gracefully dodges the cart. Of course I had to encounter him, of all people. He takes one glance at the cart, and the half-eaten cupcake in my left hand, before saying: "I sincerely hope this isn't the precursor to another food fight."
"Certainly not," I take another bite and swallow. "I've met my quota for this quarter and will resume all food-fighting activities within a few months."
"How productive of you," he drawls, a smile lighting his face. "I'm certain the Queen is pleased with your commitment to such goals."
"I like to interpret her silence on the matter as approval." I look behind him. "Where's Anakin?"
"That is exactly what I was wondering. He seems to have disappeared." Obi-Wan blinks when I offer him a cupcake. He takes it before continuing. "It has been a difficult transition," For the both of them, I suspect… "I haven't had the opportune moment to discuss everything with him."
"In that case, take another one of these," He chuckles when I pass him a second cupcake.
"I'm not certain that loading him up with sugar will resolve matters."
"My judgment concerning food is not to be questioned. Now, if I had sweetcakes, it would solve everything but you will have to settle for this."
"I will take your word for it."
"Also… if Anakin has been missing for a while, he's probably in the main hangar with the pilots. I imagine he feels comfortable there─"
"─because it's a familiar atmosphere." Obi-Wan finishes, his voice trailing off. "I should have thought of that."
The sadness in his tone is nearly imperceptible but it's enough to make my heart sink into my stomach. The position the both of them are in can't be easy… one having lost a Master, while the other is separated from his mother.
"For what it's worth, I think the two of you will make a great team."
He seems taken off guard, judging by the slight lift of his eyebrow. "Thank you, Sabé."
"You're welcome." I pull a disgusted face and his eyes spark in familiar challenge. "Now that I've also met my quota for kindness as well, I will resume my sarcastic remarks towards you."
"I would expect nothing less." I silently triumph in the fact that he's broken through his sadness for a moment before he points to my mouth. "By the way… you have something… "
I wipe at the side of my mouth with the back of my hand and wince when I spot the blue icing there. "Would you believe it if I said I was saving that for later?"
"Not in the slightest."
Well, shavit.
"May the Stars bless Cook Nara in everything she does." Yané says. A collection of dreamy sighs follow as we lie on our backs in a circular shape, staring up at the ceiling.
The meeting Padmé called has progressed in a manner similar to many of our sleepovers and less like an official debrief between Queen and Handmaidens. I rest my hand on my overly full stomach and feel my eyelids sinking heavily. This is the most relaxed I've felt in weeks…
"So, who's this Pilot Bran I've heard so much about?" Rabé asks. I roll over and immediately regret the action.
"Saché has been rather mum on the subject. Padmé and I did manage to meet him though and… " I trail off for dramatic effect, watching the rest of the girls shift closer.
"… And!?" Eirtaé is the first to break. "Don't keep us in suspense."
"He's a total supernova." Padmé rests her hand on her face while the others giggle. "C'mon, Padmé you know it's true."
"He does have a pleasant symmetry to his face."
"See? The Queen has declared it and it must be so."
"You're ridiculous."
"I wonder when and how they met?" Eirtaé adds while Yané shifts suspiciously. All eyes turn towards her and she freezes.
"Yané… " Eirtaé drawls.
"Yes, Eirtaé?"
"Have you been holding out on us?"
Her eyes widen comically. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You do know something!" I move over towards her, causing her to squeak and hide her face in her folded arms. "You know you want to tell us!"
"I promised Saché I wouldn't!" Her voice is muffled and she misses the drop-jawed look we share. "When I make a promise, I keep it!"
Sighing, I pat her on the back of the head. "I know, Yané. We're just teasing."
Slowly, she lifts her head and smiles at the group of us. "I will say this… most relationships that begin under duress tend to have a quick expiration date. However, I think this one might defy the odds."
The five of us burst into laughter.
"Speaking of supernovas," Rabé says, after we've calmed down. "Have you ever noticed Guard Kendon?"
"Oh, he is a cute one." Padmé agrees quickly. "I think he has his sights on Avé. I saw them holding hands once."
"Oh, that's just adorable. She's a sweet girl, especially having managed to work for Admistrator Sarin without complaining." Rabé shudders. "I'd prefer Panaka over her any day."
"You know who else is a supernova?" Eirtaé's grin is nothing short of wicked. I reach for my glass of water and take a hearty gulp. "Jedi Kenobi."
Water sprays out of my mouth and all over Rabé, who shrieks. "Sabé!"
I can't manage a reply, as I'm trying not to cough up a lung. Eirtaé comes over to me and pounds my back. "Breathe, Sabé, breathe!"
After a terrifying moment of near-asphyxiation, I breathe in deeply and cough once more. "I'm alright, I'm alright… Sorry, Rabé."
"By your reaction, I take it that you agree with me." My face turns scarlet at Eirtaé's sly tone.
"That's a load of kriffing nonsense."
"Aw, she's swearing already." Rabé chimes in, looking just as wicked as Eirtaé. "Surely you've noticed his looks, Sabé."
"If I say I have, will you all leave me alone?"
"Yes, the torment will end if you do." I narrow my eyes at Padmé. She's enjoying this far too much.
"Fine… he isn't─I've noticed─he's not entirely─" Kriff, why can't I manage a proper sentence? "He's a supernova. There. I said it."
Thankfully, Padmé keeps her word and changes the subject away from handsome, quick-witted Jedi with sparkling blue eyes and boyish smiles. Someone I have no business spending any time thinking about beyond the immediate.
"On a serious note, we have to discuss a stand-in for Saché while she recovers. One of the Palace Handmaidens has resigned and she can take the secretarial side of that position for now."
I struggle to picture Saché as a secretary, even for a brief time. Administrator Sarin won't know what hit her.
"Panaka has suggested a temporary replacement from outside," Eirtaé and I share a look before she turns to Padmé.
"A replacement from outside of the Royal Handmaidens? Who is he thinking to recruit?"
"The girl who led Green Group during our recapture of the Palace, Dané." A different type of heat floods my face. Panaka has lost his kriffing mind.
"You're telling me that Panaka wants to bring in the girl who blatantly disregarded orders and put her whole squad at risk?"
Padmé meets my glare without wavering. "She has apologized to everyone involved, Sabé. I knew this would be difficult for you, which is why I'm discussing it now before any decisions are made."
"She should apologize! She was reckless and put my sister at risk─" I exhale once, trying to keep my temper from boiling over. This isn't my decision to make. "I'm sorry, Padmé."
"Try to see it from her perspective. She had to watch friends and comrades sacrifice their lives." My stomach sinks at the reminder of what we've all witnessed. "And I believe she has skills that could be useful to us. Wouldn't you want a second chance?"
I look at her once more, shrinking at the tears pooling in her eyes. "Why do you have to be right so often, Padmé?"
"I don't feel like I have been." She catches herself, as if the words weren't meant to be said. "I... " her face crumbles, sobs shaking her body. We all gather close, wrapping our arms around and over each other.
"So many people─" Tears of my own streak down my face as Padmé continues. "Master Jinn… all the pilots and guards, the Gungans that sacrificed their lives, I wanted to─I wanted to save them all. We won but things aren't okay… I don't think they ever will be."
"Padmé," Eirtaé sniffles once. "You did everything you could. We wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for your plan."
"I shouldn't have let the Trade Federation hover around us for as long as I did, I shouldn't have waited so long for the Republic to act, I shouldn't─"
"Padmé," she looks up at me, eyes red and swollen from crying. "If you keep thinking about what you should or shouldn't have done, you'll just drive yourself crazy."
"You think I don't know that, Sabé? What about you and your excessive cleaning? You haven't been sleeping at all." I falter as her words strike true. "Please don't lie to me and say that you're okay."
My words bottleneck in my throat. How am I supposed to say what I'm feeling when I can't explain it? "You're right… Padmé. I'm not okay. Neither are you. But… maybe that's the point? We don't have to pretend with each other. That might be the only way we'll ever heal."
"Statistics show that speaking about traumatic events with trusted ones have a healing effect on the mind." Yané murmurs, her mouth quivering. "Or… at least that's what I read somewhere."
"Can we make a promise to each other?" Rabé asks, turning all attention towards her. "We know we can trust each other and Saché if she feels like sharing. Let's promise that we won't pretend when it's just us."
"I can agree with that," Eirtaé wipes her eyes and looks at the rest of us. "Yané, Sabé, Padmé?"
We nod in response.
Huddled together, crying on each others' shoulders is how we continue for a long time afterwards. I could think of no jokes, no quick remarks to break through the din.
All I know is this: I will do everything in my power to protect these people that I love dearly.
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2247 GST
Subject: [Encoded 45621] Help
I know you're not asleep over there. Maybe you can help me with something?
SV
From YARHMatRNSF to SVRHMatRNSF 2247 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
How'd you know I was still awake? I could have been in a NREM state that appeared to the observer as false.
How can I help you?
YA
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2248 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
I know you, Yané. If you're not passed out, face-first, on your bed it means you're still awake.
How difficult would it be to, hypothetically speaking, slice into a datapad encoded to a person? Just out of curiosity, no ulterior motives or anything.
SV
From YARHMatRNSF to SVRHMatRNSF 2248 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
Well, now I know that I know how odd my sleeping seems to be, I am unsure about ever falling asleep again.
It depends on if the person themselves has invested in any sort of anti-slicing protection or firewalls. I could, hypothetically speaking, make my way in if I know their personal data address and code attached to the datapad in question?
YA
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2248 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
So, hypothetically speaking, you could, maybe, slice your way into a datapad and delete some unfortunate pictures accidentally left on said datapad by a certain someone who shall remain nameless?
SV
From YARHMatRNSF to SVRHMatRNSF 2248 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
This should be good. Whose datapad did you 'accidentally,' leave your silly pictures on this time around?
YA
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2249 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
Obi-Wan's…
SV
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2249 GST
Subject: [Encoded 45621] Help
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, Sabé. I needed that laugh.
YA
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2249 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
So, does this mean you'll help!?
SV
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2251 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
Yané!?
SV
From SVRHMatRNSF to YARHMatRNSF 2252 GST
Subject: RE: [Encoded 45621] Help
Oh, so NOW you choose to fall asleep.
I see how it is.
SV
- Message thread between Royal Handmaidens Sabé Vena and Yané Ara
I must be dreaming again… which means I've finally fallen asleep long enough to enter this particular sleep cycle.
I'm brought back to a familiar place, where a beautiful, shimmering waterfall cascades into a circular pool below. The grass around me is vivid and green; a warm breeze floats through the area. I breathe deeply and enjoy the sounds of running water, which reminds me of Kaadara.
In an instant, my surroundings change to my favorite shoreline. If I narrow my eyes, I can see my father's fishing rig hovering in the distance. The waves wash forward and backwards, ending just before my feet before retreating again.
"Handmaiden… " I look to my right and see Qui-Gon. He seems more content than the last time I dreamed about him, which did involve tap-dancing and threatening Palpatine so I suppose the comparison falls flat.
"Hello, Master Jinn. You don't have your tap shoes on this time."
His brow furrows. "Tap shoes?"
"Yes! Also, Obi-Wan and Palpatine aren't here so there won't be any bad poetry or lightsabers that spit confetti, though the latter is somewhat amusing."
"Confetti?" he echoes and I frown.
"Goodness, Master Jinn. You didn't parrot this much before." He opens his mouth but I continue on. "I wish I could say this to you in person, but I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Even with the warning, it didn't seem to matter. The galaxy needs people like you, the ones who are real heroes."
"It was not your fault, Sabé." His voice is kind, just like I remember.
"Well, I know that you're just my subconscious trying to make me feel better, but thank you, all the same."
"You do not belong here." I shrug, looking up at him. Kriff, he's so much taller than me. I really hope I'll grow more over the next few years.
"No, I suppose not. I always felt an attachment to Theed and Padmé certainly needs my help."
"Do not misunderstand me." His tone causes me to step back. Something isn't right. "You do not belong here."
Fear churns in my stomach. Surely he can't mean…
"A girl with knowledge of the future, taken from a place where this galaxy is a mere story," Qui-Gon shakes his head, as if in mourning. "You carry a great burden, as I said before."
The beach begins to quiver, cracks spider-webbing beneath our feet. The wind picks up with an unearthly howl. I can hardly see Qui-Gon through my hair flying around my face.
"Why are you saying this? What do you know?" I raise my voice over the storm forming around us.
He places his hand on my shoulder. "I hope your path leads you to happiness, Alyssa."
I awake with a start, heart racing and breathing heavily. None of the other girls stir around me as I try to calm my nerves. That wasn't just a dream. It couldn't have been. Alyssa…
Qui-Gon called me by my name from my past life.
To Mari: Well... Qui-Gon's part in this story isn't over yet... if that makes you feel any better? The aftermath of his death has been interesting to write, considering how it affects so many people. Sabé definitely has reasons behind her coping mechanisms (or lack thereof,) which will be explained later! Thank you, as always, for your lovely review!
A/N So... does anyone have any theories as to why Qui-Gon used her first name? There's only one more chapter left of the Phantom Menace arc before we breach new territory. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful evening!
