Bulletin! My last chapter had like a million typos, so I'm REPOSTING it! Yay!
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A/N: Review, please. I know that at least 20 people have looked at my new chapter…without one review. I understand if Anna doesn't review, because she can tell me her review over the phone…but the rest of you… yeah. I'm going to stop being all blah review and post the new chapter. Review. It's a cheap ego boost for me. And makes me more inclined to update frequently.
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They basically had a victory dance and Christmas candy party until late that night—well, more like late the next morning. At around 11, they appeared on the bridge (Vader spent way too much of his time there, poor thing. He really needed a hobby like birdwatching or a pet rock.), bright eyed, caffeinated, wearing hooded black capes they'd stolen from Palpy, and ready to learn.
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After an hour, Vader was wondering why he'd even tried to teach. He'd taken them to a bland looking room (it only had a little bit of junk in one corner) neither of them knew existed, and showed them the basics. Meditation, concentrating, etc. Then he'd moved onto the ABCs of using the Force. Picking up a box, lifting some rocks, standing on their heads. Stuff like that.
"OK, Caroline," Anna said loudly. "I'm gonna levitate you." She stuck out her hand and whispered, "Jump on three." In her regular voice she counted, "One…two…three!"
Vader had been brooding, wondering how this could happen to him, instead of paying attention to the girls. That is, until he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Anna and Caroline actually getting somewhere. "Do that again," he commanded.
They did that again. Anna's hand went up, Caroline jumped. Anna's hand came back down, so did Caroline. They smiled proudly at their accomplishment.
Vader buried his mask in his hands. "Keep practicing," he muttered.
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The training sabers that they were supposed to be using to practice were actually quite different from the training sabers that had been in their Christmas gifts (which were just barely recognizable as sabers so they'd know that Vader wanted to train them).
The difference wasn't exactly positive.
After three days of disastrous attempts at meditation and three more days of even more disastrous attempts to manipulate the Force, Anna and Caroline walked into the Torture Chamber—as they had dubbed it—to see Vader glaring at them and an array of parts on the floor at his feet.
"You will be building your lightsabers. They will not be fully functional. I do not trust you with one of those." He turned on his heel and stomped out.
"So how're we gonna build a lightsaber out of this?" Anna asked.
Caroline looked hurt and left out. "Hopefully we can build two lightsabers."
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The structures they turned out were slightly less than…well, let's just say that the girls weren't Anakin Skywalker.
"Look at this!" TK347 said to PA122, brandishing a disk at him.
122 looked at it without interest. "And…?"
347 sighed at 122's stubbornness. "808 has a hi-res projector. C'mon! You've got to see this!" He practically had to drag 122 to 808's room. He popped the disk into the projector, and the three troopers—122 reluctantly—gathered around to look at the hologram. It was a low-quality security hologram of the Torture Chamber. 347's main job was to watch the cameras and tell someone if a troop of Rebels suddenly appeared on the ship or something like that. Consequently, he saw a bunch of interesting stuff, but he thought this was so funny that he just had to share. The picture showed Anna and Caroline surrounded by lightsaber parts. Even with the hi-res projector, though, the picture was grainy. So they mostly relied on sound.
Anna: Where's this part go?
Caroline: I dunno. I know this'll fit! Shit. It broke.
Anna: Hand me the superglue.
Caroline: Here ya go.
Anna: Eyes! Shoot dang it!
Caroline: Oops. What's this? It looks like a giant condom.
Anna: What! Dear God, this stuff is getting everywhere.
Caroline: I'm serious. It's long and stretchy, and looks like something should go in it.
Anna: This is worse than mozzarella.
Caroline: Need help?
Anna: If you promise not to say 'condom.'
Caroline: Condom. Hey! Don't hit me!
Anna: You got glue on Master Yoda!
Caroline: You hit me Master Yoda! He's stuck to my face!
Anna: Get him off you!
Caroline: I can't.
Anna: Why not?
Caroline: Look at me!
Anna: My eyelids are stuck together.
Caroline: …
Anna: Caroline?
Caroline: Um…hello.
Anna: Hi!
Caroline: Not you. Um…hello, Lord Vader.
Anna: Well, this is awkward.
Caroline: Lord Vader, can you get Master Yoda off my face?
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"That's—so—funny!" 122 said between hysterical giggles.
347 glanced at 808. "Does he sound like a woman to you?"
"Yeah."
They grabbed 122's helmet and yanked ff. A curtain of dark hair fell out onto the plastoid suit.
347 and 808 exchanged another glance. The guy who they had spent so much time with, most of it telling dirty jokes, was a girl. No wonder they had only seen him…her…without his…her… helmet once. And that was a long time ago, when hi…her… hair had been shorter.
122 finally got control of herself, and looked at 347. "Oh, you know. Thank God. This suit is so freakin' uncomfortable. I hated wearing it around you."
808 was far more practical than 347 (who was thinking about how hot 122 was). "There's a new model?" he asked.
"Well, obviously."
"How many of you are there?"
"I'm not sure. Anyone with the letters PA, so at least 122."
"Who was your donor?"
The entire conversation was going completely over 347's head—who tended to think more with his genitalia, anyway. She's gorgeous…he thought again. It was the most could piece together in his mind. She was gorgeous, and didn't flinch at even the dirtiest joke.
"Well, it's a big secret," 122 was saying. "Vader was only told that the PA's were an upgrade. He doesn't know we're chicks."
"So who's your donor?"
122 leaned forward and whispered the name in 808's ear.
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A/N: Yes, a plot! But, believe me, this thing with the troopers won't interfere with the insane adventures. Unless you decide you want the plot more, in which case, it will interfere. Big time. Oh, and anyone who can guess who the donor is (in a review) gets a cameo appearance. So review and guess.
